by Sam Crescent
I hadn’t seen him since.
Hot and cold.
That was how Earl was.
“Exactly, that’s the biggest difference, Ash.”
Emily pulled me out of my memory. “What is?”
“They’re mine. Earl’s not yours.”
I didn’t like the reminder. It wasn’t exactly fair.
“Can we talk about something else?” I asked.
“No. How are you? Are you being fed? Are you happy?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m being fed.” I left out the part of happiness.
“Ashley, talk to me.”
“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say to you, Emily. All of this arrangement is a little confusing, okay? No, Earl’s not mine, but I belong to him. Does that seem fair, no, I don’t imagine it does. Again, complicated.”
“No, there’s nothing complicated about it. You always wanted the dream. The white picket fence. The one guy who came home to you.”
I groaned. “Will you stop? At no point did I make myself sound like a housewife. I intended to work, okay. Yes, I originally wanted the ideal. The kids, the husband who loved me, the normal, everyday kind of stuff. In our lives, we don’t get to have that.”
“Do you have any idea how much I want to hug you right now and tell you it’s all going to be okay?”
“You can’t protect me, Em. You haven’t been able to for a very long time.” I wasn’t stupid. I had ideals. I’d tried to be the positive, preppy person Emily had needed for seven years.
Emily didn’t know the full extent of my pain.
I didn’t talk about it.
The years of being yelled at, treated like I was no good. Emily was under the illusion my mother was good. I didn’t have it in my heart to tell her the truth, that my mother failed so many times in life.
Yes, growing up, I’d spent hours thinking about a life away from her. About meeting a man who loved me and who I could love, but it never happened. Earl. I didn’t know what to make of him.
I loved it when he touched me. The way he seemed to give me orders without speaking a word. Watching him was a highly addictive sport of late.
Of course, when I could find him.
The house he owned on this private island was huge. I could go hours without seeing him.
Right now, I sat looking over the ocean, enjoying the waves. I wasn’t too close.
I also had a pair of binoculars, which I kept randomly using. I was weird, all right, I kept trying to find a shark fin, or an octopus’s tentacle.
Way too many giant sea creature movies for me. Some were so lame, they were good.
“I don’t like the thought of you not living your dream. You’ve been taking care of me for a long time. Don’t think I don’t know it, either. I do. I know you’ve been by my side, protecting me, helping me.”
Seven years of helping her get through her heartache.
Leaving her men had really done a number on her.
“You know I love you, Em. Can we not talk about future plans and what we’re not going to get out of life? Tell me about your pregnancy.”
She was terrified of being a shit mother. There was no way she could be. Emily was a huge softy at heart. The Monsters gave her the chance to be herself, to embrace her softer side.
The girl I once knew back in Crude Hill High, that had been the survivor. That school didn’t allow for people to be soft. It was a glorified war zone.
Fucking terrifying if truth be told.
The first day had been a nightmare for me. I was nothing more than a whore’s kid, and I’d been easy pickings. If it hadn’t been for Emily, they may have killed me and disposed of my body.
I owed Emily so much.
“I don’t like changing the subject,” Emily said, complaining.
“Tough. It’s what we’re going to talk about. Come on. Tell me.” I held the laptop as Emily stood.
“Can you even see a bump?” The camera was at her waistline.
“Can’t see anything, but you do need to eat more. You’re way too skinny.”
“Then you need to come back home. Cook for me. The guys would love you back.”
Emily got comfortable.
Crude Hill wasn’t my home.
I didn’t say as such. I refused to upset her.
“Do you have morning sickness? Strange smells? Aching nipples?”
Emily burst out laughing. This wasn’t fake. She was truly happy and seeing her this way filled me with so much joy. My best friend had finally found her peace. There was no way I couldn’t be happy for her.
“I see you changing the subject. Yes, the morning sickness has started and it’s gross. Thankfully, I have my pick of four guys willing to hold my hair and rub my back. Drake helps as well. Coffee makes me feel sick. My nipples are sore. That’s pretty much it. Oh, I have this need to make sure the nursery is ready.”
“How is Drake doing?” We could come back to safer topics. I never liked Drake in school. He was far too volatile, and I did believe he still was. He hid it well. Either that or his loyalty to the Monsters kept him in check. Again, not my business.
“He’s much better, actually. I keep asking him if he’s dating his nurse but he’s being very tight-lipped on his love life. I tried to get some info from Gael, but they don’t talk about Drake’s sex life. I think he’s into some kinky kind of shit. Kind of scary stuff. Oh, I totally forgot to tell you, Amelia came back to Crude Hill. She’s living with us and will be enrolling at Crude Hill High.”
I couldn’t remember Amelia. “Who?”
“Oh, right. It’s kind of not a secret but he’s never really made it well known. River’s sister. He takes full care of her now. His mother refused to come back, and she pretty much sent her daughter packing. Kind of sad. Amelia seems sweet though, quiet. Like a mouse.”
“Please tell me you’re being nice to her.”
“Ash, I am nice. Besides, she’s family.” Emily stifled a yawn. “Enough about me. Tell me about you.”
I turned the laptop around so she could get a good view of the ocean.
“Holy shit,” Emily said.
“Yep, that’s my view. It’s beautiful.”
“Ash, I’m not stupid, okay. I know you. What does Earl have to offer you?”
Resting the laptop on my knees, I stared out at the ocean as I thought about it.
“Ash?” Emily asked after several seconds.
“I know you don’t like this arrangement, and you don’t see what I could possibly have to gain. The truth is, I don’t know. When I’m with him, I don’t feel the need to leave. I like being around him. He can be fun.”
“You know what he’s capable of. What his entire empire is made up?”
I returned my gaze to the screen. “Emily, think about the Monsters, and what they’ve been involved with. What’s to say they haven’t benefited off of the women that have been taken and sold?” I hated that part of him.
The world was a horrible place. I got that.
“You’re defending him?” I heard the shock in her voice and don’t like it.
“I’m not … damn it, Emily, stop it, okay. I’ve got to go.” I didn’t want to carry on a conversation that made me feel so guilty and mad at the same time.
Without waiting for her to stop me, I turned off the chat, signed out, and closed the laptop down. I didn’t move, staring out at the ocean.
Earl wasn’t too far away.
I could feel him.
I didn’t turn around.
“How long have you been there?” I asked.
“Long enough.”
“She’s my friend and she’s worried about me.”
“Your friends are safe, Ashley, so long as you stick to the deal and they don’t meddle in my business.”
He sat down beside me. His warmth surrounded me, even though I wanted to be angry.
He had women on the island. The house was always clean. Not a speck of dust anywhere. The dishes, when we were in the dining room
, were always cleaned away.
They moved around without being seen.
“The women you keep close. Do you fuck them?” I asked. The words spilled from my mouth before I had a chance to hold them back.
“No.”
“Have you ever … fucked them?”
“Ashley, be careful.”
Tears filled my eyes. It was times like this that I realized our dynamic was captive and captor. I wasn’t a girlfriend. I was a piece of flesh.
I felt stupid for thinking it could be otherwise. I gripped the laptop, about to stand, but his voice held me still.
“Yes, I’ve fucked them. I’ve had no choice. You can believe me or not, I don’t give a fuck. This life, I’ve fought my way to the top. You don’t know how I came to be, Ashley. You don’t know what I’ve sacrificed, what I’ve fought to claim.”
Turning toward him, I saw him staring out across the ocean.
There was no guilt. No remorse.
“I fucked them because it was a requirement. You’re aware this used to be owned by my grandfather,” he said.
“That’s not building it from the ground up. That’s not fighting for your life, for this, every single day. You got it handed to you on a silver platter.”
The laugh that erupted from him sent a chill down my spine.
“You think because I was the only living son that I could have all this? The wealth, the power, just because of my last name. Just because his son fathered me.” Earl’s laughter was dark, sinister, full of hate.
I felt sick, but I didn’t get up and leave.
The beast lurked beneath, ready to pounce.
He’d told me vague parts of his life with his grandfather and his father, but I hadn’t gotten a lot to build up a picture.
“My father hadn’t even earned the right to take over from him. He was learning the ropes. Dealing every single night in pussy. It’s what he was doing when he died.” Earl’s hands were tight, the threat in them clear.
Fear traveled through my body at what he could do.
“You want to go around thinking the world is black and white. That it’s either good or bad. You’re wrong, Ashley.”
He didn’t tell me anything more. Earl got to his feet, turned on his heel, and walked away.
I came to realize the reason I was allowed to be alone. I couldn’t get the fuck off this island. His men were there. And there was no way out other than with his express permission.
I was trapped here until he was ready to get rid of me.
****
Earl
A young teenager.
“What?”
“You heard me, boy. You get in that room and you fuck her. If you don’t, I’m going to make one of my men, and believe me, they’re going to leave her broken and bloody.”
I looked into the room.
It was a dirty place where my grandfather kept the girls. It was all designed to make them feel like animals. Their human rights were gone. They were property. They were marked. A single brand burned into their skin at their hip. Each one letting his customers know who she belonged to.
Staring into the room, I saw the property was young. Couldn’t be any more than sixteen. I’d seen her arrive. The men had already tasted her virgin state. Blood covered the pants at the apex of her thighs. They’d raped her virginity and made her keep the evidence on her for their own sick games.
My grandfather had been pissed.
A virgin was worth so much more. He’d played along, found out who’d done the deed, and right there, in front of all the women, he’d put a bullet in the man’s head.
Now, the girl who’d been torn, she was here, for me.
I hated this.
He commanded his men.
They all did as he told them.
My grandfather had a sick, twisted way of keeping himself entertained.
I didn’t know what to say.
My dick wasn’t hard.
It was never hard.
Not around the women.
I’d seen what the men do. This was what my father did. I heard them beg. Sometimes at night, I woke up to their screams, begging to go home. Some didn’t. Some accepted their fates and they stayed still. They were the good ones, my grandfather said, but they were also the cheapest.
Men didn’t always want the ones who weren’t broken.
The ones with spirit took the highest price. They went up for auction. Their screams, their promises of retribution, each word, each fight, it all brought in more money. The broken went to the brothels, where night after night, they were taken.
The blow to the head pulled me out of my thoughts, and I realized I’d been staring into the room for a long time. My grandfather’s patience had faded.
Hands wrapped around my neck, cutting off my air supply.
“Listen to me, you piece of shit, you go in there, and you fuck her, every single hole, or I will have my men use you.”
The door was opened, and I was thrust into the room.
Past experience told me to keep my balance, and not to show that I was taking deep breaths.
My heart raced.
The girl sat on the bed, the dirty clothes still on her body.
She didn’t look up. Tears fell onto her hand, but she still doesn’t make a sound.
I didn’t say a word.
The thought of touching her made me feel sick. My grandfather and all of his men were watching.
It wasn’t that I’d never been mean or hurt a woman before, this was different. This woman should have been special. The more I got involved with his business, the more I hated it. My mom was part of this world. I never got to see her for who she truly was. I’d only ever known her for a whore.
This girl, and that was exactly what she was, a girl, was already broken. The silent tears, the blood, the drooped shoulders. Taking her would just be shattering another wall of whatever sanity she had left, and I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I hesitated too long.
Within seconds, my grandfather was there, drawing the cane he carried with him down across the back of my head. The blow sent me to the floor. Three men followed in.
My grandfather placed his cane across my throat. The more I struggled, the less oxygen I could get inside. Panic started to cease, but he held me still.
There were times he still shocked me with the strength he possessed for an old man. He played on his age, allowing people to think he was weak. He wasn’t. He was one of the strongest and sickest men I knew.
I thought my father was bad. Compared to this man, my father was a saint.
“You’re going to watch. She could have enjoyed the experience. I gave you the chance to have a sweet, newly broken-in cunt. Now you get to see how a real man takes her.”
He made me watch as they tore the clothes from her body. The three men, two held her down while the other defiled her. One by one, they took turns, using every single hole of her body, and when they were done, she was dead. The last man had strangled the life out of her.
Rage coursed through my veins. A desire to kill filled my core.
It should have been over.
It wasn’t.
My grandfather, to prove how big and powerful he was, threw me to the ground, and one by one, the men finished what they had started with her.
Pulling out of the memory, my hands clenched into fists. It was a long time ago. Almost as if it had happened to someone else. My grandfather had watched, bored as they raped me. Later that night, I had no choice but to clean myself up, and my grandfather had warned me. He had no time for pussies. I followed orders, or I was going to be nothing more than a toy for his men to amuse themselves with.
I learned.
I stayed alert.
I followed instructions, even the ones I couldn’t stand. Each day, my rage and thirst for revenge had grown until the day had come when I finally killed my grandfather and all the men who had been in that room that day.
Ashley didn’t need to know any of
that.
My burden. My baggage. No one knew.
Not a soul.
I didn’t think of that time. There was no point. It was a waste of time and energy.
I wasn’t going to apologize for what I did or why. I left Ashley on the ground without saying another word.
There was no use in talking.
She had her judgments, and to be honest, I didn’t give a crap. She could hate me all she wanted. The life I intended to give her was full of luxury. If she needed something to help ease her guilt, she could donate everything she earned to some kind of a woman’s shelter.
I walked into the house, and I was surprised when she joined me in my office a few seconds later. I was already pouring myself a large glass of brandy.
“I know the world isn’t black and white.” She opened, closed her mouth. “This is useless.”
“Ashley, you’re not going to change who I am. You’re going to have to get used to it.”
“And if I don’t?”
“You’re going to have to figure out how to deal with it.” I wasn’t changing. This world I’d created was all mine. I didn’t care how she saw it.
“You really don’t care, do you?”
“You’re a young woman, Ashley. You have ideals about the world, and most of the time, I appreciate it. Doesn’t mean it fits with what everyone wants. It doesn’t. You can hate me all you want, but you know I’m right. Are we going to keep going around in circles about this?”
“Tell me about your grandfather,” she said after a few seconds had passed.
“No.” That was one topic I would never discuss.
“Why not?”
“There are stories you don’t need to hear. You think I’m bad, he was worse. The stuff he did. It would turn your stomach, and I don’t want to wake up from you screaming because he gave you nightmares.”
“And he helped to raise you.”
I saluted her with my drink. “Want one?”
She shook her head. “No.”
Staring at her, I recalled the nightclub she’d been in with Emily when I approached them recently. Ashley had looked so sexy. She’d captured my attention, but she had seven years ago as well.
“Maybe if you had a drink, it would loosen you up.”
“Is that how you want to take my virginity? When I’m not in my right mind to say no?”
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. I happened to love her bratty behavior. The spine. The fire. It meant she wasn’t broken, and there was nothing appealing to me.