by Sam Crescent
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Ashley. She worked efficiently, but I noticed her gaze kept straying to mine. I didn’t know if she was annoyed with my presence or just couldn’t seem to help it. She was as drawn to me as I was to her.
Being apart these several weeks had been long enough. I wasn’t going to allow her to get away again.
Ashley came back with my pot of tea and my breakfast. The plate was huge. A couple of slices of toast, bacon, sausage, hash browns, fried eggs, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, and what I assumed was black pudding. All on one plate.
“Enjoy.” She turned on her heel and left.
I’d ordered the food. I was going to eat it.
I started on it, and Ashley kept on looking at me.
She didn’t work at the café for long. Only a few short hours until after the lunch rush. I finished my breakfast and ordered tea.
The lunch rush came, and when she disappeared, I waited by the staffroom door for her to exit.
She’d been hoping to sneak out before I caught her. She had a tight grip on her bag as she looked at me. “What do you want?”
“To talk. To spend some time with you.”
“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment,” she said. “Maybe some other time.”
She tried to brush past me, but I captured her arm. “Are you sick?”
“No. I’m not sick.”
I checked her over, not trusting her opinion. She’d lie to me, and I needed to know if she was okay.
“Damn it, Earl. I’m fine. Clearly, I’m more than fine.” She pushed at my arm, and I let her go but got into step beside her.
“Then I’ll come to the doctor’s with you. I can drive you.”
Ashley stopped and turned toward me in the doorway of the café. “No. I can do this on my own.”
“Either you get in my car willingly, or I force you.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I can do whatever the hell I want to. Push me. Try me.”
She glared at me, stormed out of the café, and stopped on the street. “Tell me then, which one is your car?”
With her arms folded, she looked up and down the street. “I don’t see anything.”
“I parked around the back.” I took her hand, and she didn’t fight me.
Pressing the button, I unlocked the car then held the door for her to climb in. She did so, muttering under her breath.
I went to the driver’s side, climbed in, and started the ignition.
She gave me directions to her doctor’s, but I didn’t need them. I’d gotten a thorough background check done on her while she’d been working. I might not had been back in the States, but I still had men at my fingertips, willing to do whatever I needed.
The doctor’s surgery was full. I struggled to find a parking space. Ashley kept saying she’d jump out of the car, but I found a spot, and then once I was parked, I followed her into the surgery. She booked herself in, and we took a seat.
“You’re not coming in with me,” she said.
“I am. I need to make sure you’re okay.”
I wasn’t going to be left alone. I’d fucked up once, and Ashley needed to understand I wasn’t going anymore.
People coughed. Some had one leg crossed over the other. Many people were on their cell phones. Others were reading a magazine. The crinkling of the paper offered a distraction.
Ashley’s name flashed above the screen.
As much as she hated me right now, she wouldn’t cause a scene, and getting me out of the surgery would require a scene. One I was more than happy to partake in to get what I wanted.
The female doctor was waiting, and the moment we sat down, she asked what seemed to be the problem today.
I waited.
Ashley kept offering me glances.
“I … er … I took a couple of tests last night, and I wanted to see if they were accurate.”
Tests?
“Pregnancy tests?” the doctor asked.
“Yes.”
Everything fucking faded.
I looked at Ashley, and she wouldn’t meet my eyes.
Was that where she’d disappeared to? A pharmacy? I only snuck into her apartment, I didn’t snoop.
The appointment was a blur. Ashley talked and the doctor took some blood, promising to have the results back very soon.
I was a little dazed. I shook the doctor’s hand on the way out.
Neither of us spoke as I got into the car.
Pregnant. It wasn’t like I’d attempted to be safe. Every chance I got, I fucked her pussy raw. There was nothing between us, and now there was a chance she could be pregnant.
“Say something,” she said.
“Why didn’t you tell me last night?”
“I’d just found out myself, and I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind.” Her hands shook, and I watched as she clenched them into fists. “It … surprised me.”
“Do you want to get rid of it?” I asked.
“What? No, of course not.”
“Some women do.”
“I don’t. Okay. I … I’m not sure how I feel right now, but it could be a couple of false positives. I’m sure it has happened before.” She shrugged her shoulder. “Can you take me home, please? I need some space.”
“I can’t give you space.”
“Earl, don’t do this.”
“I just found out that you could be pregnant.”
“And you think I wasn’t freaking out? I found out before you turned up back in my life. I got to see the stick change, believing my baby’s daddy wanted nothing to do with me.”
“You should have told me last night. You weren’t even going to tell today.”
Ashley groaned. “You’re right. I didn’t know when I was going to tell you, or if I was even going to. The way you dumped me back in Crude Hill, you hurt me, Earl. I … damn it, I was fucking falling in love with you, and you just threw me away because you were done with me, and it hurt. I struggled and I couldn’t be back in that place. So I left. I’m trying to make a life here, but I can’t stop this feeling. I love you and you hurt me, and it’s not going away. Now you’re back and I might be pregnant and everything is all so confusing. So please, don’t look at me as if you’re accusing me of something because right now, I will fucking flip out. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just surviving.”
She sounded like she was falling apart, and I understood her so much. I knew what she was going through.
Sinking my fingers into her hair, I pulled her close and locked my lips against hers, kissing her.
It had been too long since I’d kissed her.
As I slid my tongue across her lips, she opened up for me, and I plunged inside.
She moaned my name. Her hand came to my cheek, and I knew she felt it too. She loved me. She fucking loved me. I didn’t deserve her love. I wasn’t a good man. I relished in others’ pain, but hearing her say the words, now that was a sweet victory. One I couldn’t deny loving.
Ashley had no idea how fucking obsessed I was with her. The lengths I would go to ensure her safety.
She was my soul mate. The other half of me.
The age gap could go and get fucked.
This woman was mine.
Ashley put her hands on my shoulders. “No,” she said. “We have to be sensible. We don’t know what’s going to happen.”
“I don’t care, Ashley. Pregnant or not, you will be soon. I’m not letting you go.”
“Until when, Earl? When you get bored? When you decide?”
“Never.” I stroked my thumb across her cheek. “You need to understand, I’m not going anywhere because this is the only place I want to be.” There was nothing anywhere else.
Ashley was my family. My future. My path.
Wherever she went, I would follow.
Chapter Twenty
Ashley
The doctor confirmed the news within a few hours.
I was pregnant with Earl Valentine’s baby. We both sat
in my apartment, and neither of us had spoken. I’d put the call on speakerphone.
There was so much to be said, and yet, neither of us seemed to be able to get a word out.
After pushing out my chair, I went to the kettle and flicked it back on. Was I even allowed tea?
This all seemed so out of place.
“Marry me,” Earl said, taking me by surprise.
I whirled around and saw he stood there, hands clenched at his sides.
“You don’t need to propose to me.”
“Ashley, you need to understand, this is not me being forced into any kind of situation. I want to marry you. It’s why I came back.”
“If you were going to propose to me, you would have done it already,” I said. I couldn’t stop thinking that the only reason he was proposing to me was for the baby. Deep down, I should have been happy he’d be willing to take responsibility, but I wasn’t. When I married, I wanted it to be with someone who loved me. Who couldn’t imagine another day without me.
Not with someone who felt obligated.
“I know I’ve fucked up big time with you. I can’t take a lot of the shit back that I’ve done, and I’m sorry. So fucking sorry for everything. You’re pregnant with my child, Ashley. That’s not going to change, and I don’t have time to prove to you how I feel.”
Licking my lips, I shook my head. “No.”
“Ashley?”
Tears filled my eyes, and I was getting so frustrated with crying. This wasn’t fair at all. Being emotional was turning into a curse.
“Look, we’ve got history. I get that. We’re pregnant, but I’m not going to forget you walking away.”
“I did that for your own good.”
“And because you’re back, you expect me to be happy about that?” I asked. “There are a lot of things going on right now. I can’t process all of this. You’re going to need to give me time.”
“I’m raising this kid with you,” he said.
“Of course. That’s not in question. I want to raise this child with you, and that wasn’t a lie. But you’ve just come back into my life. I don’t know if this is even the right thing to say. I’m … having to get used to you, okay? I’m not going to fall into a trap with you.”
He stepped close to me, and I held my hand up, but he didn’t stop.
My palm touched his chest, and he grabbed my arms, placing a kiss against my head. “I’m not going to let you down. I’m going to prove to you that I’m in love with you, Ashley, and you will be mine.”
I got another kiss to the forehead, and then he was gone.
My apartment suddenly felt so empty.
He’d been in my life for a matter of hours, and he’d managed to make my life seem hollow.
Sitting down at the table, I reached for my cell phone and pulled up Emily’s number.
I swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. They had no place.
With a deep breath, I put the cell phone against my ear, and my hands shook slightly.
It was late here, so it had to be slightly earlier there.
The phone kept on ringing, but I didn’t hang up.
I waited.
Patiently.
Waiting.
“Ash, hi, is everything okay?” Emily asked.
With my palm flat to the table, I took a deep breath. “Emily, hi,” I said.
“What’s wrong?”
Silence. I didn’t know what to say.
“Ashley, you’re scaring me. Is someone there?”
“Earl’s here,” I said. “He, er, he arrived yesterday. He was waiting for me in my apartment.”
“Fuck. I had no idea he was even coming to see you.”
“I don’t imagine he really cares about giving people the heads-up, you know? He’s always been the kind of guy who just does what he wants to and to hell with the consequences.” I ran my palm across my table. It was so clean. No roughed-up dry pieces of food.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, you know, it has been a long couple of days. Earl told me he loved me, and to add to that, I’m pregnant. It has been a pretty hectic couple of days.”
“Pregnant?”
“Ah, you heard that part.” I rubbed the back of my head. There was so much to take in.
Earl being back was messing with my head. With everything.
Emily let out a squeal. “How far along are you? Is it Earl’s, or did you find yourself a hot Brit? Come on, I want details.”
I laughed. “I’ll try not to be offended, but this is Earl’s baby. I’ve been so busy working. I’ve got two jobs.”
“Ashley, you’ve been working yourself to the bone because you’ve got a broken heart.”
“It worked for you.”
“Damn it, I don’t want you to cry, but I can hear it,” Emily said. “Now I’m crying and I can’t give you a hug.”
“I know you would if you were here.” I wrapped an arm across my body, trying to give myself a hug. It didn’t exactly work, but just hearing Emily’s voice was enough to calm me down. “I can’t believe I’m pregnant.”
“Wait, a minute, Earl told you he loved you?”
“Yes, and he asked me to marry.”
“So why do you sound so sad? Isn’t this good news? He’s going to do the right thing?”
I sighed. “I don’t want him to marry me because of the baby. It doesn’t seem right, nor fair.”
“Ashley, babe, it’s his baby, and you love him, and he told you he loved you.”
“I get all of that, I do, but … if he wanted to marry me, wouldn’t he have asked before the baby?” I couldn’t help but feel he only asked because of the baby.
Part of me wanted to be happy he’d asked at all, but I didn’t want to get married because of a child.
I loved Earl, so damn much. It hurt to be around him. My emotions were all over the place, loving and hating him with equal measure.
It was good to be in his arms. At the same time, I also hated it. This was my time to get over him, and now he was back and I was pregnant. Everything seemed so … hard.
“Do you realize our kids are going to be close in age?” Emily asked, changing the subject.
This, I could handle.
I released a laugh.
“I know, right.”
“Ashley, I know it doesn’t seem it right now, but everything is going to be okay. I’ve got a feeling.”
At this time, I had nothing but the knowledge the only man I’d ever loved was back, and this wasn’t over. I was pregnant, and everything was so chaotic, I couldn’t trust a single thing.
****
For a week, Earl didn’t show up.
Not at my work.
Not at my apartment.
Nor did he appear randomly on the street.
I had him for approximately twenty-four hours, tops, and he was gone. I’d already booked my appointment at the maternity ward at the local hospital. The doctor had called back the following day to give me all the details of what I needed to do next.
My appointment wasn’t for another couple of days. I had no way of reaching Earl to let him know. He was the dad and had a right to be there at each appointment.
After a long shift at the restaurant and trying not to throw up, I was more than happy to get back to my apartment. I’d removed my jacket and toed off my boots, heading into the kitchen when my door was knocked.
I removed the band at the back of my neck, loosening my hair. I needed a bath, food, and some sleep.
Opening the door, I stopped when I caught sight of Earl. He looked good. A pristine suit, his hair slicked back, but it didn’t appear to have any gel in it.
“Earl,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
I should have been screaming at him for abandoning me again. For leaving me alone to deal with everything. The truth was, I wasn’t the kind of woman to hold a grudge for long. I’d already sent Caleb and the rest of the Monsters a gift basket. A personal card to Caleb, apologizing for blaming him fo
r everything that had gone wrong.
I’d been angry, hurt, and heartbroken. When he’d been trying to talk to me, I’d wanted someone to blame, and it was so easy to put it on him. He’d put me in Earl’s path, but I was the one to fall in love with him.
“I want you to come with me. There’s something I need to show you.”
“Can it wait?”
“No. Once this is over, I’ll have to wait for the next one.” He held out his hand.
Something in his voice told me to follow him. I quickly put my shoes back on, even as my feet cried at the injustice of it all, and I went with him to his car.
I had no idea where we were going until we ended up at a dock near the south. Earl tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he looked ahead.
Following his gaze, I saw a whole load of cop cars.
“What’s going on, Earl?” I asked.
He climbed out of the car and rounded the vehicle, opening my door and holding out his hand.
I placed mine within his and climbed out of the car.
Earl wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and the cops allowed him to go past. I didn’t like this. My heart raced.
We came to a stop near several containers, and that was when I saw it. A cargo hold had been open. Women were spread out. Ambulances were close by, and six men were on the ground, in handcuffs.
“Should you be here?” I asked.
This was part of Earl’s life. Why would he bring me here? He was going to get arrested. He’d pissed me off. Made me angry and hate him, but the last thing I wanted was for him to be arrested.
Fear worked its way up my spine as each police officer passed. This was too much. I fisted his jacket.
“Let’s go before they arrest you,” I said.
I couldn’t have him thrown in jail. I loved him so fucking much, and it hurt being around him and knowing there was a chance he was only saying all the right things for the baby. But I just couldn’t do it.
There was no way I was going to be able to survive without him.