“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Sam said softly. “You and I both know that never works out.”
“What if people ask about you?” She was grasping at straws and she knew it.
“Just wait a while. A year or something, or six months. Get your mom settled in. You can say we broke up after all. That it was just too much distance and you were worried about your family. Or blame it on me. It’s alright. I don’t mind.”
“I’m not going to blame it on you,” she said firmly. She had to struggle to fight back tears. Her eyes prickled. The back of her throat and the bridge of her nose ached.
“I’m just saying, it’s alright if you do.” Sam slowly unfolded himself from the couch. She remained frozen, unable to move a muscle or say a word, as he walked over as casually as if he’d just been there for a friendly chat. He bent at the waist and kissed her briefly, so very briefly, just a whisper of his lips on her forehead. “Goodbye, Amy. It was good seeing you again. Good luck with everything. I’m sure I’ll hear about your mom and your dad and you from my mom. I really do wish you the best of luck. And your mom and dad. Truly. They’re way too good to have to go through something like this.”
She blinked. She blinked again. By the time she was finally able to unlock herself from her paralyzed, shocked state, Sam was already gone. Slowly the tears began to fall. She did nothing to stop them.
Chapter 17
Extra Hours
Sam
The garage wasn’t the kind of place where guys really talked about their feelings. Cars? Of course. Problems? Plenty of those. Swearing? All the time. Actual heart to hearts didn’t happen very often. The guys there put in hard days of labor, grunt work that didn’t involve discussing how they really felt about the shit going on in their lives. Shit that might have been mentioned in passing, but was never brought up again after the initial venting.
That said, Sam was pretty surprised when Rone and Jay sidled up to his work station at the end of the day. It was beyond the end of the day. Way past five. The other guys had all gone home. Sam thought that Jay was staying to work on fixing the brakes he’d started late and Rone was putting some touches on one of his own cars that he’d brought in after hours. One of the only perks at working at their garage. Free lifts and access to tools meant they didn’t have to jack up a car or put it on blocks in their own driveway.
Sam nearly jumped when Jay laid a hand on his shoulder. He was bent over, searching for a socket that didn’t seem to exist. Probably because someone had already taken the one he needed- ‘borrowed’ it and didn’t put it back.
He straightened and whirled around to find not only Jay, but Rone at his back.
“I- uh- what’s up?” he asked lamely. The way they were looking at him, it was the way his dad used to look at him when he was a kid and got into all sorts of trouble.
“What’s up? We wanted to ask you that,” Jay said slowly. He crossed massive arms over a massive chest. All the guys at the garage looked like they could have been Vikings in their last life. It must be an unstated job requirement somewhere in the office check list for new hires.
“What do you mean?” Sam’s mouth got real dry real fast.
“We’ve noticed that you’ve been working extra hard these past few weeks. Staying late every night, churning out cars. If you keep up the pace, you’re going to get the rest of us fired, since we can’t keep up.” Rone cracked a smile and it made him seem way less intimidating.
“Yeah- uh- well, nothing to do at home. I thought that I’d put in some extra hours here.”
“Nothing to do at home?” Jay echoed. “That’s ridiculous. I’m sure you could find something. A hobby. What were you doing before? You never used to be here past seven in the evening.”
“And get here before everyone else,” Rone added.
Sam sighed. He finally spotted the socket he needed and reached for it. He bounced it around in his hand, heavy and cool and solid. Something real, something he could touch, something he could figure out. That was the nice thing about car problems. He could diagnose them and solve them and that was that. What you saw was what you got.
“We know you have something going on. Something that isn’t about this place, but you’re here trying to fix it.”
“Yeah?” Sam raised a brow in challenge.
“Yeah,” Jay insisted. “Because I used to do the same thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Come early. Stay late. Drink way too much. I’d drive for hours just so I didn’t have to sit at home thinking about the shit I had going on.”
“But that didn’t help,” Rone slowly prompted.
Jay rolled his eyes. “No, it didn’t fucking help. It didn’t help at all. Running from shit in your head is just going to make it worse. We’ve noticed that something is up with you, Sam. We wanted to see if we could help. We’ve been there ourselves.”
“Nothing is wrong. Like I said, I’m just putting in some extra hours.”
“Unpaid hours?”
“Yeah? So what? We’ve been busy. I’m just trying to help get through the back log. People shouldn’t have to wait a week for their car when it’s their only means of transportation.”
“I agree, but it’s more than that,” Rone insisted. He sighed. “Maybe you should know a few things about me. Maybe then you’d figure that I don’t have it all together. So here it goes. I’m married to Jay’s sister. We’ve loved each other for decades, but we never were brave enough to do anything about it. We both feared what the consequences would be. I knew Jay would kick my ass when he found out I wanted to date his sister.”
“Which I did.”
“Which you fucking did. Right. Anyway, we got over it. But those weeks were rough, when I didn’t see a way around my own head, my pride, my fear and whatever other garbage I’d built up as a barricade for so long. It was a pretty rough time. Heather didn’t give up on me and I never gave up hoping and somewhere along the way, we fought for each other and Jay eventually came around.”
“That’s a nice speech,” Sam said. “Really. But I’m not sure what it has to do with me.”
Jay rolled his eyes again. He gave his head a shake, causing that long blonde hair to fly everywhere. The guy actually looked like a god. Not a Viking. A god. Blonde hair, blue eyes, massive physique. He could have tried out as a movie extra on something to do with ancient Greece or Rome.
“Sam… that lady who came in here for an oil change a while back. She wasn’t just anyone. We could tell.”
“She’s just a friend. I used to know her back in high school.”
“Like I used to know Heather.” Rone’s lip curled up in the ghost of a sarcastic smile.
“No, very much not like you used to know Heather. We were just friends.”
“That’s how I used to know Heather.”
“She was dating my brother. My twin brother. She up and left when we all graduated, just like that. Just left and never came back. It broke my brother’s heart.”
“What does your brother do now?” Jay asked.
“He’s uh- married. Has a family. He’s happy.”
“Well then, maybe it was good for him.”
“How the hell do you figure that?”
Jay grinned. “She taught him not to let things pass him by. It should be a lesson that you should have learned as well. Let me guess. She left because things were getting too close between the two of you. She didn’t want to just be friends anymore, but she couldn’t see a way out because she was still with your brother and that would have been completely inappropriate. You had feelings too, but neither of you said anything. She’s been gone for all this time and then you reconnected and hit things off and then something happened and now you’re single as fuck again and not happy about it.”
Damn, that is surprisingly accurate. “I was never with her,” Sam grumbled. “At least not for real.”
Jay and Rone glanced at each other and then Jay hooted with laughter. He fist pumped the air.
“I knew it, I fucking knew it. Come on. Tell us everything. It’s been a while since Rone and I had a good laugh.”
“You’re an ass, you know that?” Sam groaned.
“He is. The worst,” Rone agreed.
“But you’re forced to put up with me. The whole brother in law thing.”
“I guess I am. Unfortunately.”
“Yeah right. We were friends long before. You obviously liked to put up with me and it was nothing to do with being forced. Always playing the victim…”
Sam slowly looked from one to the other. It was clear that Jay and Rose were enjoying themselves way too much. If he was going to provide the entertainment for the evening, they really needed to get out more.
“I’m sorry.” Jay couldn’t keep a huge, silly grin off his face. “Really. I want to hear all about it.”
“We really do, but also because we care. You work here with us. You’re one of the crew.”
“Really, it’s nothing…”
“Oh, we can tell it’s something. You better come clean. We’ve been there ourselves. Both of us. So why don’t you start from the start?”
Sam faced Rone, since he was the one who was least likely to make fun of him. “It’s a long story. A long, crazy story.”
“Good. I like those,” Jay piped up. He crossed his arms and looked like he was settling in.
There wasn’t any way out of it other than to just tell them the whole sordid thing. So he did. He started from the very beginning, how he and Amy had been friends for a long time, how she dated his brother, how she left and then randomly showed up on his doorstep a decade later. He told them about the crazy plan, about her dick of an ex-husband, about her mom being sick. He carefully left out the parts where he’d tried to have her in order to prove to himself that it wasn’t anything special; that he could move. He knew he’d die of embarrassment if he went there. It also would have proved just how futile and pathetic it was, him trying to banish his feelings.
“How long has it been?” Jay asked, after Sam finally came up for a breath.
“What?”
“How long has it been since you- well broke up, I guess, for lack of a better term.”
“Oh. Almost two weeks.”
Rone shook his head slowly. He gave Sam the kind of look that spoke volumes. As in, really spoke to the fact that he thought Sam was real fucking dense.
“You’ve been moping around here ever since. Working way too hard. Trying to drown it out.”
“Drown what out?”
“Your good sense. Hell, common sense even. We knew what you were doing. Even before you told us. We knew you were here because you didn’t want to be at home where things can get way too quiet and you have too much time to think.”
Sam shrugged. “I guess I miss her.”
“You guess?” Jay snorted. “I’d say it’s more than a guess. You look miserable.”
“My parents, especially my mom, is pretty furious with me for just breaking things off and refusing to talk to Amy. She and Amy’s mom are really good friends.”
“Great,” Rone groaned. “Just what you need.”
“Yeah. No kidding. I thought it would be best if we didn’t see each other. It would be too hard. Amy wanted to be friends, but I just can’t do that.”
“Because you want something more?”
“Yeah. I can’t be around her without wanting her and it’s not fair to anyone. She has enough going on in her life,” Sam admitted grudgingly. He knew if he bothered to lie, it would be so obvious that he was doing it.
“Maybe she needs you,” Jay protested. “Maybe she really needs you right now in her life. Maybe things got real between you guys for a reason. Because it was supposed to. You waited all those years. Ten years! I can’t imagine! You should just grow a set of balls and take a chance on it working out.”
“She doesn’t need this right now,” Sam insisted. “Her mom is sick. She has to find her parents a new apartment in the city, get them all moved, probably help them get their house sold. She has to find a nurse for her mom… it’s going to be hard on her. She’s an artist and she’s busy with that. She doesn’t have time for me and all my bullshit. Not with everything else going on for her.”
“I agree with Jay. I think this would be the time she needs you most. You could be there for her and support her. Help her with this stuff. I think she’d really appreciate it.”
“I can’t just be friends with her…”
“Maybe she doesn’t want to be friends. Maybe she wants something more.”
“I doubt it.”
“You could always ask her. Ask her if there is anything there. Then at least you’d know. You’ll never be able to move on otherwise. Don’t spend the next ten years of your life regretting all the shit you didn’t do. That would be annoying as fuck to look back on.”
“Always so eloquent, Jay.” Rone rolled his eyes. “The family stuff is hard. She really does sound like she’s going to have a rough time. If you’re willing to go through it with her, tell her that. Tell her how you feel. The worst she can say is no and you’ll be right back here, where you are now, putting in extra hours for free, fixing other people’s cars so you don’t have to think about fixing your own life.”
“There was nothing wrong with my life until she walked back into it,” Sam protested. He wanted to turn and slam his boot into the car tire right next to him, but he managed to control the urge, since he thought it would be pretty damn childish. “She broke my brother’s heart.”
Jay rolled his eyes. “That was a long time ago. People change. People make mistakes. People are sometimes not that great. You’ve grown up. She’s grown up. Your brother is happy. I think the only way you could lose is to not tell her how you feel.”
“Heather and I fought for each other. When we were finally brave enough to tell each other how we felt, we fought like hell to make it work. Jay didn’t like it. She risked losing her brother and I risked losing my best friend. We made it work though. Jay and Laya didn’t hit it off at first either, but now they’re happy. Sometimes things actually work out when you take that chance.”
“Yeah? What if it doesn’t?”
“Like I said… you’ll be right back here, feeling like you’re feeling now so to me, you might as well take the chance.”
A heavy silence settled over the garage. Finally Sam exhaled. The sound was loud in the quiet space. It echoed farm more than it should.
“I’m not going to promise anything,” he said irritably.
“That’s the spirit.” Jay slapped him on the back like he’d just sworn to do exactly as they said.
Sam watched as Rone and Jay walked out of the garage together. They were obviously satisfied that whatever work they’d needed to do, him as their work or project or whatever, was done and taken care of.
He wanted to pick up his tools and get back to work, but after their talk he’d lost his taste for it. What he really wanted to do was find Amy. He battled with himself for a few more minutes, reaching for tools several times before he finally ground out a frustrated sigh. He turned slowly, gathered up his lunch pail and his phone off his station, and left the garage. He set the alarm on his way out and locked up. He didn’t have a clue what he wanted to say to Amy, but any joy he took in trying to drown her out in work was long gone.
Chapter 18
A Dream
Amy
Amy couldn’t remember a time in her life where she’d ever had the same dream twice. She wasn’t really a dreamer at all. She was lucky if she had, or remembered, a dream once every couple months.
Since Sam left her that night, she dreamed of him constantly. It was more annoying than anything. She couldn’t escape him. He was there all the time, haunting her with what could have been. Worse than that, she missed him. She missed the few times they’d been together. It was entirely pathetic for her to want something that she knew was never truly hers, but she couldn’t help herself.
In order to try and get her mi
nd off of Sam, Amy threw herself into her work. What she’d said was true. All her paintings from the gallery night sold. She had a few new commissions that she was sketching up. She’d just mixed her paints and was sitting down in front of a canvas when she heard the front door open.
She froze. She was sure she’d locked it. Obviously not. It was probably just someone wandering in, wanting to check things out. She stood slowly and set her paints aside. She was going to have to tell them that she was closed. She really wanted to get to work. No, what I really want is to lose myself for a couple hours.
Heavy footsteps came down the short hall and her breath hitched. She closed her eyes for a brief second, hoping like hell it wasn’t Richard again. She hadn’t heard a thing from him since he’d decided to crash her show.
She quickened her steps, wanting to cut off whoever was there before they had a chance to actually really get inside. Her heart beat wildly and a cold sweat broke out over her entire body. She rounded the corner, expecting to run into her ex-husband yet again. She was so sure he’d lay low for a while. A long while, considering no one was in his corner anymore. She really hoped that her plan had worked…
“I’m sorry, I’m not open-” her words died in her throat. “Sam!” She breathed his name. It didn’t even sound real, spoken aloud. She blinked, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her again, now also in daytime.
“Hey…” he glanced behind him. “I hope it’s okay that I’m here. If not, I’ll go.” He shifted back and forth, from one foot to the other. “Actually, I’ll just… I’ll just go…”
“No!” Amy swallowed hard, trying to force her voice to be moderate. “Don’t go. I- I was just starting to sit down to paint. I thought it was a client walking in or just someone off the street. I should have locked the door.”
“It was open. I promise I didn’t pick the lock.”
“Yeah, I know it was open. I remember forgetting to lock it after I went out and came back this morning.”
“Uh…” Sam did that shuffling thing again, where he moved his weight from one foot to the other.
Fake It: A Sizzling Hot Pretend Romance Page 10