by A'zayler
The black shirt with the vibrant colored lettering scripted across his chest. The beautiful mess of a man in front of her made East feel like the scum of the earth. It didn’t matter how hard he was trying to act; his open wound was fresh and gushing with pain derived from her betrayal.
East’s teeth grabbed her bottom lip as she ran her hand over the ring again. She needed to do something, and quickly, because she was more than positive if she didn’t, she’d lose Killian.
“Kill.” She walked toward him, but he held his hand up to stop her.
“Stay your butt over there.”
The melancholy look on his face took all the nerve she’d just had. It was so dampening. How had she done this? East scolded herself for the millionth time in her head before being her defiant self and touching him anyway.
“I’m sorry.” She exhaled. “I don’t remember how it happened… all I know is that one minute I was leaving the party upset with you about Sheena… and the next, I…”
“And the next what? You was marrying one of my partners?”
Killian stood straight up and got into her face again. Not touching her, just face to face.
“You were with Sheena, Killian. You hurt my feelings.”
“So, what? You hurt my feelings too!” he yelled. “You had been all over that nigga, Yeshi, all night. If you wanted him, that’s all you had to say, but don’t be hanging all over me with that fake love shit.” Rising anger resurfaced in the room. “I’m grown as fuck. I know how to act if a bitch don’t want me.” His nose turned up on one side. “You ain’t no different from the rest of the hoes.”
East stood and allowed him to vent and call her out of her name slickly, willingly. Willing to do anything that would erase her transgressions. If yelling and cursing her out would make him feel better, then surely, she could take it for a minute. As long as he didn’t take it too far, she’d manage.
“I am different.”
The look of surprise on Killian’s face would have been comical had the situation been different. “Oh, really? You are?” He chuckled. “You know what? You sure are. At least them bitches never married none of my niggas. Maybe slept with a few of them but never took the nigga’s hand in marriage and shit.”
“Would you have preferred me to sleep with him? I mean, a marriage can be undone, but that… me and him having sex…” East shook her head. “That would be irreversible.”
“You must be trying to make me murder you up in here.” The fury in Kill’s eyes matched the open and closing of his hand.
East retreated some. She was a tough girl, but she didn’t feel like getting hit. “I’m just trying to get you to see that this isn’t as bad as it could be. Don’t compare me to your other women, especially ones like Sheena.”
“I can compare you to whatever the fuck I want to, with your cheating ass. Fuck you.” Killian looked her up and down before turning to grab the doorknob.
Like a flash of lightning, East shot to him and desperately grabbed his arm. “No, don’t leave.”
That big, bad girl act left her the moment she realized he was no longer interested in arguing with her. At least, if they argued, she had his attention. The loneliness she’d felt since they’d been back from Las Vegas had been too much for her sanity and unhealthy as hell.
Killian’s body relaxed as he exhaled with his back still to her. With one hand, Killian removed the black fitted cap from his head and scratched the dark waves with the other one. As they always did, East’s eyes roamed over his perfect physique. The muscles along his neck leading down to his sexy back… Jesus… East palmed her forehead. Why couldn’t they just have makeup sex already?
“Did you sleep with him?”
East’s eyes shifted as she scratched the side of her head. She didn’t think she had. Her body hadn’t given any inkling of sex, but then again, she didn’t remember anything after getting in the cab with him. She could have, but she didn’t think so.
“No.”
“How do you know?”
East bit her bottom lip. “I just do.”
“Did you want to?”
“Hell no,” she told that truth with no hesitation.
Yeshi was fine as hell, but she knew the answer to that question for sure.
All night, she’d been thinking of Killian. Never Yeshi, not even when they were alone together.
“I only want you, Kill.” The whispers that formed her sentence had him walking away again.
Only this time, he didn’t touch the doorknob. Instead, he rested his forehead on the back of the door. One of his hands rested on the door beside his head while the other one was stuffed deep into his pocket. East was waiting for him to say something, but he hadn’t yet. The way he was pulling away from her but staying at the same time reassured her that all hope wasn’t lost, but it was still too far from what she wanted to happen.
“Killian?”
The fabric from his shirt stretched some as his back muscles flexed. Fuck this.
East walked to him and squeezed her way beneath his arm, so she was standing in front of him. With her small body wedged between him and the door, it didn’t leave very much room for him to have any personal space, which was good.
His eyes were closed while his chin and pouty lips hung directly in her face. The smooth, dark skin that had become her favorite part of him was moisturized and the closest thing to perfection she’d ever encountered. To calm her mind down some, East took a few deep breaths, inhaling his exhales. Being close to him, in his presence, in his face was what she needed. Even if he still hadn’t acknowledged her.
In an effort to close the distance between them, East stepped closer, making sure her chest touched his. She then circled her arms around his waist, pulling him to her. He came.
A peck to the center of his throat where his Adam’s apple bulged sent her mind blazing into everything that was good with them.
“Kill… babe.” Her lips found his neck again. “I want you.”
Nothing, utter silence.
East’s heart rate sped up as her body reacted to being so close to him. She could literally feel herself turning needy for him.
“Can I have a hug?”
She needed some sort of affection from him. Something to ease the rising ache in her stomach.
Killian shook his head and opened his eyes. They landed on her and stayed there. Their eye contact was an inferno that only he could extinguish.
“You really don’t remember getting married?”
As much as East wanted this to be over, there was no way over it, but through it, so she might as well get it over with. She shook her head.
“So, how do you know you didn’t let him in?”
East’s body died while her mind tried to revive it. Let him in? Killian’s words were so gentle and saddening. She didn’t want to hear him refer to her and another man. It made her too uncomfortable.
“Is that what you’re worried about?”
“Kinda.”
“What part of this is the worst for you?”
Killian shrugged and looked off. “It’s all bad.”
East reacted the moment his arm circled her neck and held her body close to his. Her arms were vice grips on his waist as her face found solace in the crest of his neck. There, they held each other for too many moments to count, but not enough time to erase the discomfort he felt.
“You know what’s fucking me up the most?”
East shook her head but kept her face in his neck.
“You’re the second woman this nigga has taken from me. That shit cut me deep as fuck.”
“He didn’t take me from you.”
Killian pulled away from her and looked down in her face. His eyes were low, and his mouth was still somewhat poked out.
“Yeah, baby, he did.”
“This ring doesn’t mean anything to me.” East rushed to snatch the glistening rock off her finger.
Something about the way Killian sounded as he spoke made her fearfu
l.
“Here, take it. I’ll go get an annulment right now. I don’t want him.”
Killian shook his head.
“You keep that. It’s yours.”
“I don’t want it, though.” East began to sound desperate. “I want you. He didn’t take me.”
“Yes, he did, because I’m out of this shit. I can’t do this with you anymore. I’ve allowed myself to get too invested already.” Killian ran his hand over his face. “And I’ll be damned if I get burnt twice by the same dude.” Killian chuckled. “He took you from me, li’l mama.”
“No, he didn’t! Stop saying that!” East yelled while grabbing at Killian’s shirt.
Kilian allowed her to snatch him, but his facial expression didn’t change.
“Stop all this. You getting too upset for nothing. Calm down.” He ran his hand down the side of her face.
“Not until you believe me. He didn’t take me.”
“Yes, he did, because I can’t fuck with you no more after this, so, technically, he did. If none of this had ever happened, you and I would have been good, but I can’t do no sucker shit like this, E.” Killian pulled her hands from his clothes and kissed her forehead. “Take care.”
Killian walked toward the door, and East took off after him. In nothing but her bra and panties, she walked out of the room and into the hallway, not even giving a second thought to Gabrion and Onyx being out there. Had Killian not turned around, pushed her back into the room and scolded her, she still wouldn’t have cared.
“Be still. You ain’t even got no damn clothes on.”
East’s eyes welled up with tears as she stared at him defeated. She was sure Killian noticed the water in her eyes, but he didn’t linger. Once he was sure she wouldn’t follow him out of the room half-dressed again, he left.
East took full advantage of her alone time to cry. This situation was mind-blowing. She needed to call Yeshi. She was in desperate need of some sense to be made.
3. Good for Nothing
“Another one, sir?” the waiter in the black and white dress shirt with the red bow tie asked.
Yeshi looked at the man for a few seconds, doing his best to formulate another thought. He had been in the same spot for the past two hours drinking and gambling. With no plans to leave anytime soon, Yeshi nodded and held up his empty glass.
The waiter gave a curt smile before handing Yeshi another shot glass of brown liquor. He’d been serving him the poison all night, and Yeshi had been swallowing it down with no objections. This one would be no different. In one swift motion, Yeshi threw his head and the glass of liquor back. The heated burn that warmed his chest tingled, causing his eyes to close simultaneously.
“Ahh,” Yeshi growled before blowing on the dice and tossing them onto the table.
The mood of the onlookers dropped when the numbers didn’t turn out in his favor. Yeshi sucked his teeth and hit the side of the table with his open palm. He cursed a few times before grabbing the dice once more, only to have the same thing happen again.
“I think it may be time for you to call it a night, sir. What you think?” A chipper brown skinned waitress asked him.
Dressed in the same thing the other workers had on, the pretty girl smiled down at him while resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Yeshi’s eyes lingered on her pretty lips and bright smile before he nodded and stood to his feet.
“Might as well. I’m broke and drunk as fuck anyway.”
The girl smiled sympathetically before pulling the short stool he’d been sitting on out of his way. Yeshi’s large frame wobbled a bit as he steadied himself on his feet. After stretching and swallowing down another shot of liquor, Yeshi began moving toward the exit.
Drunker than he’d been in a long time, Yeshi was barely making it out of the casino on his feet. Had it not been for the many tables and walls he’d leaned upon on his way out, he probably would have fallen onto the floor and busted his entire face. He was just that bad off.
“Excuse me,” he mumbled to the lady he’d just bumped into.
She too had been leaning on one of the walls but was darn near knocked off it by Yeshi. His stumbling was getting worse, and so was his vision. Double of everything was spinning in circles around him, causing dizziness that he could hardly make it out of.
“Fuck,” he growled as he leaned over and held his head in his hands. “I ain’t know I was this messed up.”
The crouching position he was in right then made him feel a little better but being that he was in the middle of a crowded casino on a Friday night, his troubles were only beginning. There were too many moving people, too much noise, and way too many flickering lights to provide him with any type of solace. He would just have to make it out of this one on his own.
With the balance of baby taking its first steps, Yeshi began to make his way to the sliding doors of the casino. It took him a lot longer than he would have liked to reach the outside, but the fresh, cool breeze that hit him was perfect for his drunken state. Not only was he able to breathe better, but he could focus as well. Without all of the distractions, Yeshi was able to gain control of himself a little better.
Before long, he’d found his way into a cab and had given them his home address. The bumpy ride did nothing for his already bubbling stomach. He was sure that at any given moment he would vomit every ounce of alcohol that he’d consumed that night. Luckily, that wouldn’t have to happen. After the last turn and bump that Yeshi deemed tolerable, the cab came to a stop. He was home.
“Thirty-two dollars,” the man told him over the seat.
Yeshi wasn’t sure how much money he pulled out and handed to the man, but clearly, it was enough to cover the total because he allowed Yeshi out of the cab with no reservations. One foot in front of the other, Yeshi made it to his front door, fumbling with keys the entire time.
“Ahh.” Yeshi released a thankful sigh upon entering his home.
Although it may have seemed like a lot to someone else, it was a typical night for Yeshi. He drank so much that all the cab drivers in Las Vegas should have his name and address embedded in their memory. After shedding his shoes and clothing, Yeshi fell face first onto his sofa and dozed off. The next time he opened his eyes, it was because of the bright sun that was shining through his living room window.
He squinted and immediately grabbed the side of his head. The piercing pain thumping through his head was pure torture and made him feel like he was about to die. To make matters worse, his phone was ringing, and he had no idea where it was to silence it.
As bad as he wanted to lay still in the same spot, he couldn’t. Whoever was calling him refused to hang up. The constant ringing aided him in finding his phone tucked in the pocket of his jeans. The number was one he didn’t know, so he didn’t answer. The last thing he needed was for a potential client to be calling and he run them away because of his current condition.
Now sitting straight up but still holding his head in his hands, Yeshi opened his eyes. The bright sun made his headache worse, so he held his head down.
“What the fuuuck?” he whined as the same number called back.
Yeshi stared at his ringing phone for a few more seconds before clearing his throat and answering it.
“Yeshi O’Hara.”
A female cleared her throat. “Yeshi… it’s East.”
Yeshi’s frowned as he pushed the phone closer to his ear and sat back on his sofa. “East? What’s up?”
She was quiet for a second before clearing her throat again. “Nothing. I just needed to talk to you real quick. I have a few questions.”
“About?”
Yeshi had been wondering when he would hear from her or if he would at all. He had been sure that after talking to Killian, she would probably hit him up as well. Though Killian didn’t sound like much was wrong with him, he didn’t sound like his normal self either. Yeshi already knew it was because of the whole hotel incident. Killian had been a little funny style from the moment he’d walked into the
room where East and Yeshi had been chilling after the party.
Even with him not speaking on it, Yeshi knew he was ill about it. He knew his friend and Killian had been that way since the first day they’d ever met. Women were his weak point, and because of that, everybody around him had to suffer the side effects of it. Which made for a horrible combination for he and Yeshi. Being that Yeshi had never been the type of dude to explain himself or pat another nigga’s back, he and Killian tended to bump heads more times than not, but only when a woman was involved. Any other time, the two could get along better than anybody on the planet, but the moment a female surfaced, all types of shit was bound to happen.
“Vegas.”
Yeshi was quiet as he waited for her to continue. When she didn’t, he got borderline irritated. He already had a headache the size of Jupiter, not to mention this was a topic he wasn’t really in the mood to discuss.
“Come on, East. You have to say something, or else, I’m not going to know what’s bothering you.”
Yeshi tried to be as nice as possible.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“Nah.”
“Okay, well I was just trying to see what happened. I mean, I know we were hanging out and chilling at the room or whatever, but that’s all I really remember.”
“Ain’t nothing else to remember. That was it.”
She hesitated. “You sure? Nothing else went on?”
The question that she had yet to ask hung in the air as he nor she acknowledged it.
“Nah, ma, it didn’t. You’re good. We chilled at the room, but that was it. Nothing else happened. I didn’t fuck you. You didn’t fuck me, we’re good.”
He heard her exhale roughly a couple of times. “Okay, thank you… Have you talked to Killian?”
“Yeah, for a minute. That nigga was dancing around, though, so we ain’t rap about shit for real.”
“Dancing around? What you mean?”
Yeshi lay back down on his sofa and closed his eyes. “I mean, he wasn’t saying shit. He said he was calling to see if I was straight, and that was it. He hopped from one subject to the next for a second before telling me he’d hit me back.”