As Felix wandered off in search of the men’s room, Kimberly patted at her hair and straightened her mauve off the shoulder top. Then she made her way toward Garrett’s table.
He was just getting up as she approached. When he turned and saw her, his green eyes lit up. “Kimmy!” he grinned the slow, easy grin she’d come to know and love. “Good to see you!”
“Good to see you too,” Kimberly responded automatically – and it was. He looked well-rested and content albeit slightly drunk. There was a lot she wanted to say but none of it sounded right. Instead, she merely asked, “How was London?”
“Oh you know,” he waved his hand dismissively. “London was London. What do you want to drink?” he asked as he turned to walk toward the bar.
“Nothing,” Kimberly said. “Sorry, but I can’t stay long. I just wanted to say hi.”
With his characteristic confidence, he took Kimberly’s hand and pulled her through the crowd. “Come with me,” he said, giving her no opportunity to protest.
She didn’t try to pull away. She liked the feel of his hand wrapped around hers.
“Where are we going?” Kimberly asked as Garrett led her past the bar, through a door marked “Authorized Personnel Only” and down a quiet hallway.
“To the club owner’s office,” Garrett replied, opening a door to reveal a spacious office furnished with black leather and chrome. “It’s quieter back here.”
“Should we be here?” Kimberly asked, looking around in awe. “We won’t get in trouble or anything, will we?”
Garrett laughed. “No, we won’t get in trouble,” he assured her. “Artie and I go way back. He doesn’t care if I use his office. Hell, I’m the reason he’s been so successful – I tell him which bands to put on!”
“This is cool, but I can’t stay long,” Kimberly informed Garrett. “My boyfriend is here with me and he’ll be looking for me before long…”
“Ah, good old Not-Husband,” Garrett nodded, sitting casually on the edge of the desk. He wore jeans and a black blazer. As usual, his tie was loosened and the top button of his collared shirt was undone. “Has he finally moved here?”
“No,” Kimberly replied, “he’s just visiting.” The realization that she’d had failed to mention it to Garrett when they’d previously met up was a strange one. She didn’t think she’d consciously decided to keep Felix’s visit to herself…had she?
“Ah. Well even so, you must be happy about that.” Garrett’s voice broke Kimberly’s train of thought.
“Yeah,” Kimberly said none too convincingly. “I guess so.”
Garrett picked up a framed, autographed guitar pick and tossed it from hand to hand carelessly, as though it were a baseball. “Trouble in paradise?” he asked, kicking off his shoes.
Kimberly hesitated. She wanted to confide in someone but maybe it was a conversation best saved for her friend Jane. “We’re just trying to adjust to all the changes, I guess,” she said. “I’m…open to trying new things and he’d much rather just keep doing what we’ve always done.”
“Relationships suck,” Garrett commented as he picked up a couple of drumsticks that were lying on the desk and began to juggle them. “That’s why I avoid them like the plague.”
She wasn’t able to hide her surprise. “Really?” she asked, intrigued. “You don’t even want to be with someone?”
Garrett shrugged. “It’s more trouble than it’s worth,” he declared. “I’d much rather have fun than commitment – there’s something to be said for no strings attached fun. But I can only speak for myself,” he said, setting down the drumsticks and turning his attention back to Kimberly. “You don’t seem like the type of woman who’d go for that.”
Kimberly found herself feeling defensive, although she wasn’t sure why. Garrett hadn’t said anything insulting but on some level, she’d taken the observation that way. “You hardly even know me,” she retorted. “How do you know what type of woman I am?”
Not at all bothered by her sharp tone, Garrett smirked. “Am I wrong?”
“Well…no,” Kimberly confessed reluctantly. “I hated being single.”
“Then you weren’t doing it right.”
Kimberly wasn’t sure what to make of that statement. Again, she felt an overwhelming desire to explain and defend herself. She wasn’t sure why Garrett brought that out in her. It seemed she always wanted to impress him.
She resisted the temptation to argue with Garrett. Instead, she told him, “I should get back to my boyfriend.”
“Yes,” Garrett agreed, “you should.”
His reaction – or lack thereof – disappointed Kimberly. Secretly, she’d wanted him to protest, to insist that she stay there with him. But instead, he stood up and slipped his large feet into his expensive-looking shoes. “Did you like the band?” he asked as he walked her out.
She nodded. “Yeah, actually I did.”
“Good. I got them signed last month,” Garrett told her with unmistakable pride in his voice. “The lead singer has awful stage fright. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to perform in front of large audiences without having panic attacks, but I worked with him to overcome it. He’s come a long way in a short time.”
“Wow, seeing him up there I never would have thought he was nervous.”
“He was backstage vomiting before the show,” Garrett chuckled. “But sometimes you’ve got to step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. It would have been a shame had he let his fear stand in the way of his talent.”
Kimberly nodded. “I have to go,” she told Garrett, “but it was good seeing you.”
She half-expected another handshake, but this time Garrett leaned in for a hug. The embrace was brief and innocent, yet it still made Kimberly go a little weak in the knees. There was undeniable chemistry between her and Garrett – even with her admitted lack of sexual experience, she could see that.
Garrett pulled a business card out of his suit pocket and pressed it into Kimberly’s hand. “You owe me a drink,” he reminded her before walking away.
As Kimberly hurried away in search of Felix, she contemplated throwing the card out.
If she was to be completely honest with herself, no good could come of her friendship with Garrett. Even though nothing inappropriate had happened between them, Kimberly had inappropriate thoughts about him. He turned her knees to jelly.
In other circumstances, that would be okay. But Kimberly had a boyfriend. As she tucked Garrett’s business card in to the back pocket of her jeans, she told herself she wouldn’t contact him again. As much as she enjoyed talking to him, it was better that way. Why tempt herself like that?
Kimberly had never been one to take risks and she didn’t like the thought of playing with fire…when people did that, someone always inevitably wound up burned.
But the flames were certainly captivating.
Chapter Ten
It was the last day of Felix’s visit. It hadn’t been ideal, what with the lack of stimulating conversation and Kimberly’s other obligations, but it had still been nice. The thought of him leaving again was bittersweet. On one hand, she was eager to reclaim her apartment as her own and settle back into the day-to-day life to which she’d become accustomed. On the other hand, she truly would miss him.
It was a Saturday. Kimberly and Felix decided to spend their last day together doing touristy things in the city.
It was a cool, brisk day that felt more like autumn than spring. Undeterred, they bundled up and walked along some of the city’s most popular tourist destinations. They took photos in front of monuments, popped into a quirky museum for a quick look around and even got in on a bus tour of the city.
When the bus let them off, they decided to do a little window shopping. They were searching for a well-known (among geeks and nerds) comic book shop Felix was interested in. Instead, they wound up standing in front of a jewelry store.
“That’s pretty,” Felix said, pointing toward a diamond bracelet that glistened in the la
te afternoon sunlight.
“It’s gorgeous,” Kimberly agreed.
Felix cleared his throat. “I’d like to buy you a bigger diamond,” he said. “The one on your promise ring is pretty pitiful now that I think about it.”
Kimberly reflexively touched her hand, feeling the promise ring beneath her stretchy purple glove. “It’s not pitiful,” she said defensively. “I like it.” Then the true intent of Felix’s words hit her.
She looked at him, startled. “You don’t mean…”
“Well I did,” Felix confessed, “but if you’re going to stare at me like I just kicked your dog then we can pretend I never mentioned it.” His voice was lighthearted and playful, but she could see his jaw was clenched. She’d upset him.
“You just surprised me, is all,” she said, trying desperately to smooth things over. “But…don’t you think things are moving a little fast?”
Felix shrugged. “We’ve been dating for a while,” he pointed out. “You already have a promise ring. An engagement ring seems like the natural next step, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” Kimberly agreed slowly, choosing her words carefully. “But we don’t even live in the same city. I – I’m not sure now’s the time for us to be talking marriage.”
“I should be able to spend a good portion of the summer here with you if I rearrange my class schedule,” Felix reminded her. “And after that – well, we’ll figure something out. Besides, just because we’re engaged doesn’t mean we have to get married right away. We can have a long engagement if you want.”
Kimberly hesitated. “Are you – you’re not proposing to me, are you?”
“What, here?” Felix was incredulous. “No! This is definitely not romantic,” he laughed, gesturing to the busy street full of traffic, exhaust fumes and litter that the wind had blown in. “I just thought you might like to pick out your own engagement ring, is all.”
“Oh.”
“Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” Kimberly replied, forcing a smile. “Let’s go inside.”
She knew Felix was trying to be considerate. When the time came, he just wanted her to have an engagement ring that she loved. So, Kimberly dutifully strolled from display case to display case with Felix at her side.
“See anything you like?” he asked eagerly.
In all honesty, the engagement rings looked more or less the same. All of them boasted gleaming white diamonds affixed to jewel encrusted bands. Some were gold and some were silver – or more likely, white gold. Kimberly wasn’t exactly sure how she was expected to react whilst engagement ring shopping.
“That one’s nice?” she said hopefully, pointing randomly to one of the rings that looked like all the rest. And it was nice. They were all nice. Maybe that was the problem; none of them spoke to her.
“Rings aren’t supposed to speak, idiot,” she whispered to herself.
“Did you say something?” Felix asked from behind her.
“I did,” she said, thinking quickly. “It looks like it’s going to rain or maybe even sleet. We should leave now so we don’t get caught in it on the way back to my place.”
Chapter Eleven
“You have to admit, this is pretty cool.”
“What!” Kimberly eyed Jane with horror. “It is not cool! Maybe it’s entertaining for you but this is my life we’re talking about!”
“And your life is finally exciting! I didn’t know you had it in you – I’m proud of you!”
Living in a different city than her best friend was tough. Kimberly and Jane were indulging in a much-needed girls’ weekend. They’d met in a quiet town halfway between their respective residences and had checked into a hotel with suitcases full of fashion magazines, mud masks, nail polish, hair products, junk food and booze.
Jane’s face was coated in bright green goop that was meant to minimize pores. She wore a towel on her head and had painted each of her toenails a different color. It was tough to take her seriously while looking at her, so Kimberly buried her face in a magazine before continuing the conversation.
“I’m not proud of myself,” Kimberly mumbled, looking dejected. “Felix is the perfect guy. He’s loyal and caring and dependable. He treats me like a queen. And I know he’s completely devoted to me. What more could I ask for?”
“What about excitement?” Jane offered. “Or passion?”
She had a point. Excitement and passion were two things missing from Kimberly’s relationship with Felix. He liked to lead a boring, quiet life and, until recently, Kimberly had thought she did as well. She was starting to find, however, that there was more to life than structure and predictability. She wanted surprises and flexibility. As for passion – there was chemistry between Kimberly and Felix but no real fireworks.”
“Are there supposed to be fireworks?” Kimberly asked aloud.
Jane laughed. “You tell me. Why am I giving you love advice anyway? I’m not married. Hell, I’m not even capable of staying in a relationship for longer than a month. I dabble in polygamy even though someone always winds up getting hurt, I have one night stands and I have a fear of commitment. My personal life is a train wreck. You should probably do the opposite of everything I say!”
Kimberly smiled. “Are you really happy doing all that?” she asked with interest.
“Well I don’t want to settle down and pop out a couple kids, that’s for sure.” Jane paused and then admitted, “I don’t want to be tied down right now, so this works. I get laid. I have fun. But someday, who knows. Someday I might want the white picket fence.”
“I want the white picket fence,” Kimberly confessed softly.
Jane took another swig of vodka straight from the bottle and eyed her thoughtfully. “From everything you’ve told me, Felix is offering you the white picket fence. And he sounds like the perfect guy - on paper. So why are you so hesitant to get engaged? Do you have cold feet?”
“Yeah, maybe I do,” Kimberly said unconvincingly.
Jane, drunk as she was, wasn’t one to be fooled. “Nah, that’s not it,” she decided with a belch. She reached for a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips and ripped it open. “There’s something else. There’s…” Jane stopped mid-sentence and stared at Kimberly. Clearly she’d had an “a-ha!” moment. “Kimberly,” Jane said, no longer sounding quite so drunk, “is there someone else?”
“No,” Kimberly said quickly. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, she added, “well, not someone that I’m dating or anything like that. I wouldn’t cheat on Felix.”
“But you’d like to be dating this guy?”
Kimberly was quiet. She busied herself examining a bottle of sparkly pink nail polish.
Jane wasn’t about to give up. Vodka and potato chips now forgotten, the green goop-faced young woman walked over and sat directly in front of Kimberly. She stared into Kimberly’s eyes as though trying to peer into her soul. It might have been easier to take Jane seriously had she not been hiccupping. It was all Kimberly could do to keep a straight face.
“Who is he? What’s he like? Tell me everything!” Jane demanded, leaning forward with great interest. The green goop on her face dripped onto the floor as she moved, but she paid it no heed.
“His name is Garrett,” Kimberly said. Even just hearing his name said aloud sent a rush of excitement through her body. “He’s in the music business. I met him at a Thai restaurant and then we bumped into each other again and then…well, I’ve seen him a few times.”
“Ooh!” Jane trilled, looking titillated.
“No, no,” Kimberly quickly corrected her. “It’s not like that. Nothing happened.”
“But you wanted something to happen.”
Kimberly was about to deny the allegation, but then she remembered the sexy, naughty fantasies she’d had about Garrett. She remembered the way his talk of spanking and kinky sex had made her squirm with longing on the entire bus ride home. “I…I don’t know,” she said softly.
“What’s he like?”
�
��He’s kind of pompous jerk,” Kimberly confessed. “He’s not the type of guy I ever thought I’d like. He smokes and drinks too much and swears a lot. He expects the world to revolve around him – and sometimes it seems like it does. But he’s also funny and interesting and behind all the bravado, kind. I think there’s more to him than he lets on.”
“And I take it he’s sexy as hell?”
Kimberly blushed. “Yes.”
“And he’s into you?”
“I – I’m not sure,” Kimberly said. “There’s definitely a spark there. At least I don’t think I’m imagining it. He likes spending time with me. He keeps inviting me to see him. But he’s never made a move. I don’t know if it’s because he knows I’m with Not-Hu – I mean, with Felix, or if he’s just not interested in me like that.”
“So find out,” Jane suggested. “You’re with Felix but you can’t get this other dude out of your head. That means something. You’re young. Play the field – God knows I am. Why settle for the first nice guy you meet? Live a little!”
Kimberly hesitated. “I really do care about Felix,” she said. “He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed about. I know we’d have a great future together. It’s just that when he started talking about getting engaged, it kind of freaked me out, you know? And I don’t know why it freaked me out because let’s face it, I’m absolutely the type to get married.”
“You are,” Jane agreed.
“Maybe we just need to take things slower,” Kimberly said hopefully.
Jane shook her head. She wasn’t buying it. “Look, I think subconsciously you’re not sure if Felix is The One. So my advice is that you shouldn’t rush into anything. But my advice is also to take your time and play the field. Find out what – and who – you like.”
“I can’t do that to Felix.”
“Sure you can,” Jane insisted. “Tell him you need a break. Tell him you need time to reevaluate your priorities or to focus on work or whatever. Just tell him something so you can chase after this Garrett guy with a clear conscience. It’s your life, baby. If you don’t put yourself first, who will?”
What the Heart Desires (Contemporary Erotic Romance) Page 6