by Amelia James
But the last spin—thirteen years ago—had ended with him puking his guts out. “Have you ever been cheated on?”
Cassie sat up straight and tilted her head. “Where did that come from? Oh, the storm.” Her shoulders slumped and she stared at the desktop. “Only once.” She straightened up again and pinned him to his chair with a fierce gaze. “I dumped the bastard and never looked back.”
Dash sighed. “That’s what I did too.” He’d walked away without a second thought. “Do you ever regret it?”
“Never.”
The doubts he’d left behind creeped up on him, chanting what if? as they circled and mocked him. “I do.”
“Still?”
“When you lose a love like that…it haunts you.” Even the word love sounded eerie on his lips. He hadn’t said it since he and Simone split up. “You know you’ll never find it again.”
Cassie slid her hand across the desk and stroked his arm. “I could’ve loved you, Dash.”
“Oh shit.” He stood, not knowing why, and paced in front of her. He hadn’t heard those words from a woman since high school, hadn’t expected to hear them ever again. The room spun and he leaned on the desk for support.
She moved behind him and laid her hand on his shoulder. “I know you’re not ready for it, and I don’t expect anything from you, but I wanted you to know because I think we had something meaningful, and I think we could again. I won’t give up on you.”
Simone had accused him of giving up on her. “I…” What could he say to her? He’d never thought about loving Cassie. “I haven’t loved anyone since Simone.”
“I see.” She caressed his back, but the tension remained.
Pain rippled through his limbs, chased by confusion and something he’d felt before but couldn’t name until now. “I can’t lose someone like that again.”
“You need to take the risk.”
He pushed back from the desk and strode away from her touch. “I take risks for a living. I gotta get away from it somehow.”
“So that means you can’t love me.” Cassie sat on the desk, her hands folded in her lap.
“No, I can’t love anyone.” Damn it. He’d successfully avoided this conversation for years. Why am I having it now? “Jesus, I wish you hadn’t told me that.”
A tiny smile touched her lips. “I’m not sorry.”
“You shouldn’t be.” Dash sighed and walked back to her. “This isn’t your problem.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I appreciate your honesty.”
A bitter laugh escaped her. “Just what a girl wants to hear.” She shook her head and stood. “I knew you weren’t ready for this.”
He stepped back, allowing her to walk by him if she chose to. “Then why did you say it?”
Cassie placed her hand over his heart. “I needed to lay all my cards on the table to compete with Simone.”
I’m the jackpot? “You’re not competing with her.” I’m no prize.
“I’ll believe that when I see it.” She sighed and stroked his rigid arm. “I’ve played my ace. Now all I can do is wait to see if you fold or go all-in.” Cassie whispered in his ear. “I won’t give up on you.” Then she brushed past him and walked out the door.
Give up? Damn it, not again! Fold or go all-in? Somehow he’d lose either way.
CHAPTER 8
Six twenty-seven a.m. Simone yawned and rubbed sleep from her eyes. Three minutes before her alarm was set to go off. Again. What is it with that? She tossed the covers back and stretched. The t-shirt she slept in had bunched up around her waist, leaving her naked bottom-half exposed. An image of Dash crawling toward her with hunger in his eyes flashed through her brain and sent a wild thrill shooting between her thighs. Mmm…a dirty little poem. He’d like that.
Static screeched as the radio weather report shouted across the room. “Another hot and windy day in the forecast—” Simone slapped the snooze button and rolled over. How would she face him at work? Keep your clothes on, dummy. She’d never planned on sleeping with him again. In fact, she’d been on the verge of walking out the door until he kissed the back of her neck. Oh hell, she’d never been able to resist that. Bastard knew it too.
Music cut through the air and she slapped the snooze button again, but it didn’t stop. “Oh, that’s my phone.” She grabbed it off the nightstand and sat up. A familiar number, one she hadn’t bothered to save, popped up on the screen. Damn, she’s calling early. “Hello?”
“Hey, Sweet Pea. How are you doing?” Regina’s warm, comforting voice grated on her nerves. Shortly after Simone had moved in with her aunt and uncle, Regina had started using the nickname her mother had given her. Simone had never decided if she liked that or not.
She pulled the covers over her bare legs. “I’m doing great. I got a big promotion, a fancy apartment. Really busy though. I’m still unpacking.” Their conversations had never been deep, and Simone intended to keep it that way.
“I read a story about Simon Leveque in the paper, but I knew it was you.”
Simone rolled her eyes. FEMA must’ve sent a press release to her hometown.
“Your mom would’ve been so proud.”
Her heart skipped. She’d wanted to visit the cemetery and tell her mom about everything she’d accomplished, but she’d have to go home to do it. “I know.” A familiar ache twisted in her gut and she pulled the covers up to her chin, hugging them like the friend she never had.
“I am too.”
Really? She’d never said that before, always praising her own kids while brushing off Simone’s accomplishments. “Thank you. I didn’t know you noticed me.”
“I did. I always did, but I never took the time to say so.”
The radio clicked on and blasted a loud commercial. “Get forty percent off all summer merchandise in our end of season—!” Simone jumped, unable to slap the snooze button fast enough. She flipped the off switch then pressed her hand to her racing heart while pondering her aunt’s revelation. “That’s all right.” But if she’d known, maybe she wouldn’t have driven all her friends away with her phony act. Only Dash put up with her crap. Until he left too. Her throat tightened and her eyes stung. “I didn’t need it.” Why am I still lying to her?
“Still playing the tough girl.” A soft chuckle echoed through the phone. “It took me a while to see through that, and by the time I did, you’d gone off to college.” Her aunt’s tone turned serious. “You only came home once. Were we that awful to you?”
Awful? They’d taken her in when no one else would and raised her as their own. Sure, their house had been chaotic, and she had to compete for attention, a fight she rarely won, but she never wanted for anything else. “No, you did the best you could.”
“I’m sorry it wasn’t better.” Silence sat between them like a fat toad.
Simone picked fuzz off the blanket while she tried to find a reason to hang up.
Regina spoke first. “Will you come home for Thanksgiving this year?”
They invited her every year, but she’d always come up with an excuse not to go. “I don’t know. My life has suddenly gotten really complicated.”
“The new job?” Regina fished for information just like Simone’s mother had, tossing out an innocent question and waiting for her to run with it.
“Yeah.” One employee in particular. Could she tell her aunt about him? Would she remember Dash? Simone clamped her lips as the urge to talk to someone—anyone—about her ex fought for release. No performances this time. Real talk. Can I be real with anyone but him? The words escaped in a rush. “The guy I dated in high school is working for me.”
A pause and then comprehension. “Dash Ryder? The guy who dumped you?”
An image of crying in Regina’s warm embrace flashed into her mind and sliced through her heart. “Yeah.”
“Oh, Sweet Pea, complicated doesn’t begin to cover it.”
Simone heard her aunt’s smile and could picture the affection in her eyes. Where are these memories coming
from? And how did I miss them the first time? “You got that right.”
“He works for you?”
She smiled as Regina’s implication became perfectly clear. “He reports directly to me.”
“Mm-mm! Revenge is sweet.”
She hadn’t thought about revenge since their angry sexcapade on the burned out mountainside. “I don’t want to hurt him. I just want…I don’t know.” As soon as she made a decision about what to do with him, something unexpected happened. He kissed her or licked her—unexpected but not entirely unpredictable—and then her resolve melted.
“I’m in no position to give advice.” Regina spoke slowly as if choosing her words. “But take your time and be careful.”
Ha. She’d thrown that idea right out the window days ago. “Uh-huh.” She gathered her thoughts, trying to decide how much to tell her aunt. What information would most likely get the answers she needed? I’ve never talked to her like this before. I don’t know how. “I missed him so—” An electronic beep cut her off.
Regina’s voice broke through. “I need to go. Keshia’s calling.”
Once again her cousin stole the attention she needed. “All right.”
“I love you, Simone. I know I never said that enough, and I’m sorry.”
She’d wanted to hear it back then, but after she left home, she’d given up. She certainly didn’t need to hear it now, but a lump formed in her throat anyway. “Bye.”
“Bye, baby.”
“Aunt Regina?” She had to say it fast or she’d never say it at all.
“Yes?”
“I’ll see you for Thanksgiving.” They were all grown-ups now. Maybe they’d behave like it.
“All right.” Regina’s tone lightened. “Take care of yourself. And make sure Dash gets what’s coming to him.” Another beep interrupted.
Simone swallowed a laugh. He already has. “I will.”
She tossed the phone on her nightstand and crawled under the covers again, hugging her pillow for comfort. Her eyes drifted shut and she imagined Dash’s strong arms around her, his warm chest under her cheek. Could she live without him again? Or was the choice even hers?
***
Smoke permeated the air, burning Simone’s eyes as a fierce gust of wind ripped the door from her hand and slammed it against the wall of the command center. She hadn’t taken time to watch the news this morning. A quick shower, a small granola bar, and throwing on some presentable clothes got her out the door in a rush.
Dash stood at the bottom of the circular stairs, staring at the satellite image with his back to her. He’d gotten dressed in his fireproof clothes and somehow managed to make coffee.
She took a sip from the steaming cup he offered her. “You’re still here? I thought you’d be back at the fire.”
“You want to be professional, so I’m waiting for your orders, boss.” A slight smirk played in his eyes.
“Are you fucking with me?”
He pulled a straight face. “No, ma’am. Not this time.”
She drank some more coffee and let its strong flavor seep into her frayed nerves. “All right, give me an update on the fire.”
“It’s not good.” Dash directed her to the map he’d drawn on a computer monitor. “We have zero containment and it’s spreading both north and south. I have crews from Parker County and Spencer on standby.”
She studied the diagram, judging distance as she assessed the potential risk to the local population. “Is it a threat to Belladonna’s Peak?”
“Not at this time.” He tapped the screen and a radar image appeared. “But if the hurricane heads this way like Cassie predicted, it’ll push the fire down the mountainside and into the city.”
If the storm heads toward them. Last night’s weather forecast had shown it moving south, away from Belladonna’s Peak. There’d been no mention of the one computer model sending it north. “Do you think her forecast is accurate?”
Dash maintained his professional composure. “She’s a smart woman with years of education and experience.”
“Answer my question.”
“No.” He shook his head and tapped the screen to bring up a satellite photo. “I checked the satellite this morning. The storm has moved south.”
So they’d dodged that bullet. She put the storm out of her mind and focused on the real threat. “All right, send in your standby crews. We need all the help we can get.”
“You mean you want me to assemble a team?” His eyes played as he grabbed the radio.
Now he’s bringing the fuckery. “Those are my orders.”
“Ms. Independent isn’t going to tackle this thing by herself?” He winked and adjusted the frequency.
In high school, she would’ve charged into it on her own. “I know when I need backup.” She liked to think she’d grown up. “Besides, I like having you on my team, Superintendent.” The endless sexual harassment seminars she’d endured rattled through her brain as she circled behind him on the way to her desk, patting his ass as she passed him.
He caught her hand, giving her fingers a squeeze as she slipped by. “I missed this.” He made the calls and sent reinforcements to the firefighters on the front lines.
Me too. She sat in front of her computer and scrolled through her email, his touch still tingling on her skin. “Last night…” She paused, waiting to see if he’d finish her sentence with ‘shouldn’t have happened’ or ‘was a mistake.’ But he said nothing, staring at his map with his fist curled under his chin. “Last night was great. You’ve never done that to me before.”
His hand uncurled and he looked up at her. “Done…? Oh. That.”
Is he blushing? A rush of heat swept over her as the image of him crawling across the floor between her spread legs popped into her head.
He approached her desk and leaned back against it. “You and I never…” He signed a couple of dirty words she understood, then made an indecipherable gesture and stuck his tongue out.
Sparks cascaded down her spine. “No, we didn’t.”
“We need to do that again.” His words spilled out before she could argue. “Why couldn’t you come? I’m pretty sure I did everything right.” He winced as if pained by the thought that he’d failed.
“You did.” Every sex thing right and every other thing wrong. “I was distracted.”
He slid closer, brushing his leg against her arm. “Maybe we’ll get another chance.”
Simone stood, pulling her head out of fantasy land. “Is that what we want?” She spotted the coffee maker sitting on a counter next to an old filing cabinet, and she topped off her cup.
Dash followed her. “Hell yeah. I wish I’d done it to you back in high school.”
She allowed the daydream train to idle at the what if station. “Why didn’t you?”
“Guys are selfish pricks at that age. We love pussy, but we’re also a little afraid of it. Sticking your dick in a girl is one thing, but your face is entirely different.”
She hid a laugh in her cup. “No, I mean…” Do we want us again? She couldn’t ask him that question. Not yet.
“I know what you mean.” A lingering brush on her shoulder accompanied his soft tone. “We can’t. I don’t want to hurt you—”
“Just stop.” If he said again, she’d kick him in the balls.
“Anymore.” He ran his hand through his wild hair as he paced across the room.
The urge to beat him fled, replaced by an overpowering need to hold him. But for his comfort or for hers? “Neither do I.”
He circled back toward her, unwavering as if drawn by a powerful magnet. “But I can’t stay away from you.” His hands landed on her shoulders, stroking down her arms in an urgent caress.
She set down her coffee cup and matched his grasp, holding him with equal fervor.
“Every time we’ve been together, we’ve fucked each other like horny teenagers.” He leaned in and his hot words tickled her neck, sending a shivery thrill straight to her thighs.
�
�Not my fault.”
He stepped back and his gaze swept her body. “And standing here looking at you this morning…” He gnawed his lips and stared up at the ceiling as if gathering his thoughts, searching for the right words.
Oh shit. Does he still love me?
Dash fixed his gaze on her breasts. “I gotta know if that’s the shirt you slept in last night.”
Um…unexpected. “No.”
“Damn it.” He stole a sideways peek at her ass. “Are you wearing underwear?”
“Would you like to find out?”
He nodded like a bobble-head doll.
Predictable. She slowly pulled the hem of her shirt up, exposing her bare skin. His eyes twinkled as he trailed his fingers over her stomach. She swatted his hand away like an irritating fly.
“Hey!”
She grabbed her coffee and marched across the room. “You think I’m going to let you paw around after what you did last night?”
He charged after her. “What I did? Woman, you started it!” He tripped over his feet and frowned. “I think.”
She slammed the cup down on her desk then whirled and pointed in his face. “No, I stopped it!”
Their shouts echoed around the room as they argued on top of each other.
“Exactly! You can’t leave a man like that.”
“You in your tight t-shirt, all hot and damp.”
“That’s not the point! I know you liked it.”
She gasped and shoved him.
A triumphant sneer curled his lip. “Who’s hot and damp now?”
“Me.” She grabbed his collar with both hands, and he tumbled into her as she jerked him against the desk. Their bodies kissed first, then their lips found each other.
He braced his arms around her. “You definitely started this.”
“Shut up.” She planted her mouth on his and fumbled with the buttons on his shirt while he pushed her jacket off her shoulders. Coffee splashed on the desk and its heady aroma teased Simone’s senses while Dash wrestled with his belt buckle and unzipped his pants.
“Like horny teenagers?” She gasped in his ear as his hands slid inside the back of her jeans and under her panties to cup her bare ass.