by Arthurs, Nia
But now?
Nothing.
I literally feel nothing.
Teale lets me in to his apartment. Turns on the light. The air conditioning.
He runs his fingers through his hair.
Nervous. Unsure.
He’s comforted me, but he wants to do more.
He’s always trying to do more.
Typical Teale.
“Okay, whatever that was, keep thinking it,” he says.
“What?”
“You just smiled.”
“I was thinking about you.”
“Me?”
“Mm-hm.” He takes me into his arms. Gives me a hug. “What about me?”
“How you’re always overdoing things.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“Half of one.”
“Should have expected that.”
“What?”
“Your sarcasm.” He kisses my temple. “One of the things I like most about you.”
“One of them?”
“There are many.” He winks. “Are you hungry?”
“No.” I sigh. “I’m a little tired.”
“This way.” He leads me to his bedroom. Settles me into bed. Pulls the covers over me. “Want company?”
I survey his handsome face in the dim light glowing from the lamp.
He looks so soft right now.
So huggable.
Is that a word?
Who cares?
I’m hurting on the inside, but I don’t feel as devastated as I would if he hadn’t been there, willing to pay my father off for me.
Crazy Teale.
Everyone knows you don’t offer money to a con-man. They’ll just keep coming back.
I reach for the loop of his jeans. Tug. “You don’t normally ask.”
“This felt like the right time to start.”
I roll back to give him room, but not that much. I want to feel him next to me. I want our bodies pressed together.
I want to lose myself in him.
Lose my mind in him.
Want him to touch me.
The way only Teale can do.
He pulls the covers back and climbs in. The mattress decompresses with the weight of his body.
His face is next to mine.
I trace the outline of his forehead, his nose, his lips.
A pale hand reaches out. Caresses my cheek.
It feels safe.
Like home.
Teale feels like home.
“I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“Your father being a jerk.”
I smile. “That’s not your fault.”
“I wish I could fix it for you.”
I nuzzle my forehead close to his. “Just being here like this is enough.”
He goes quiet.
Not typical for Teale.
I pull back a little. Glance up at him.
He’s looking down intently. Not with the usual I’m going to pin you to the wall look. This one is a forever kind of look.
An I want to pin you to the wall… for the rest of my life look.
That’s the best way I can describe it.
“What?”
“Your father was supposed to protect you and look out for you, but he failed.”
I tremble at the determination in his words.
Teale cups my cheek. “From now on, I’ll do that. I’ll protect you. I’ll provide for you. I’ll take care of you. Everything he was supposed to do, everything you missed because of him, I’ll do it.”
The numbness melts away.
Immediately.
Replaced by an overwhelming wave of pain and gratitude.
I start to cry again.
The ugly kind.
Teale looks absolutely horrified.
“Baby.” He hugs me, wipes my tears and generally tries to make sense of my reaction. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No.”
“Then...”
“I love you.”
He chuckles. “Given the way you’re crying, it doesn’t sound like that’s a good thing.”
“Don’t be a smart mouth.” I sniff.
“Now that sounds more like you.”
“We were having a moment.”
“Let’s define happy moments with smiles.”
“You’re so annoying.” I lean over and kiss him gently. Softly.
I love him so much I can’t even think straight.
A sweet moan slips past my lips. I’m aching. I’m disappointed. But I’m happy.
I’m happy because Teale is here.
He’s by my side.
He’s mine.
I lean back. “I’m claiming you.”
An eyebrow arches. “You are?”
“You can’t run away.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He wraps an arm around me.
“You can’t be with anyone else.”
“Of course.”
“You’re stuck with me.”
His skilled hands start undoing the buttons of my shirt. “That sounds like heaven.”
“No matter what.”
“I love you.” He presses his hands to my waist. Marks me with his kiss. “I claimed you first.”
Those eyes are so blue.
So beautiful.
So full of love.
For me.
Only me.
I move closer. “So dang cocky.”
“You like it.”
I love it.
Then Teale undresses me.
Kisses me.
And words are no longer needed to share exactly how we feel.
30 Teale
I take one of Zania’s braids in my hand. Whisk it around my fingers. The gold clip glimmers in the late morning sunshine. She’s sleeping on her stomach, her face turned away from me. A large swath of her shoulder is exposed.
She’d been too tired to re-dress last night.
Fortunately for me.
I use the braid’s tip and trace along her soft, glossy skin.
She doesn’t stir.
I let the braid drop to the tossed sheets and return to her with my lips. Over the bones of her back. Her shoulder. Up to her neck.
She’s so freaking sweet.
So gorgeous.
Every curve of her body, every inch of her skin is mine.
No one else can touch her.
No one can hurt her.
Lord, if they did, I’d tear them apart.
Kill them with my bare hands.
This woman is taking over my mind, my heart, my body.
I’m into her.
Completely.
Shoot.
Mom’s genes are acting up.
I’ve gone and lost my mind.
Fallen deep.
Hard.
It’s not something I can control.
I’d call it a curse, but Zania’s too much of a gift to pair this feeling with something so negative.
Zania groans. Swats at me.
“Morning,” I say.
“Morning,” she croaks. Then she sits up. Grabs the sheets to cover her chest. Her shyness still amuses me. Thick braids skitter against her arm. “What time is it?”
“Not sure.”
“I have to go to the bakery.” She swings her legs over the bed.
“Not today, baby.” I slide my arm under her thigh. Hold her to my chest.
She weighs next to nothing.
My fingers curl into her skin.
The plumpness of her behind.
Feels so right.
Zania squeals. “Teale…”
“It’s Sunday.”
She stops struggling. “Oh.”
“You were planning on running away from me?”
“Running, no?” She side-eyes me. “I can barely walk.”
I grin. “You’re welcome.”
“You’re insatiable.”
“I heard a lot from you last night, but none of them were complaints.”
Her eyes glimmer. A dual mixture.
Lust, of course.
But not hate.
What is that?
Challenge.
She still wants to one-up me.
I love it.
My grin widens as I watch her.
Sunlight filters through the windows. Dances over her thick eyelashes. Those plump lips.
I don’t know which glows brighter—Zania or the sun.
No, it’s Zania.
But the sun is doing its thing too.
“I’ve been thinking...”
“You sure you can handle that?”
I chuckle.
More.
I want fifty—no, a hundred years of Zania’s biting wit. Of her sparkling brown eyes. Her take me now smirk. Her soft laughter.
“Yeah, I can.”
“Just checking.” Her eyes crinkle.
Damn.
I lose my train of thought.
Just stare at her.
Get lost in her.
“Teale?” Zania waves her hand in front of my face.
Then the motion stops.
She stops.
Her eyes widen. She sees it. She’s making sense of it in her head.
Realization spreads across her face.
She looks at me.
I can’t help the grin splitting my cheeks.
Zania points to her finger. The finger I slipped the ring on while she was sleeping. “What is this?”
“Pretty sure you can figure that out, sweetheart.”
She’s too stunned to glare.
I set her gently on the bed and kneel in front of her. “When I think about the future, all I see is you. Everything I want, everything that means jack… all revolves around you.”
She gasps.
Tears fill her eyes.
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.” I shake my head. “I know that. But this is just a ring. It’s a piece of metal and a diamond. If it makes you feel secure, I’ll buy a million of those.” I take her hand. Kiss her knuckles.
She swipes away a tear. “It’s perfect.”
Is it?” I ask. There’s a break in my voice.
Zania’s the only woman who can make me feel this vulnerable.
The only woman who would ever get me to propose when I was so sure I’d never marry.
“Yes.” She hugs me.
Kisses me.
Murmurs her love for me over and over again.
Then she stops. “But no.”
My eyebrows hike. “No?”
“I can’t marry you, Teale.”
Damn. That hurts more than it should.
I wanted her to be happy.
A ceremony? A priest? A fancy dress? A party?
I thought of all of that.
I’ll get Ollie to walk her down the aisle if she wants.
That’s all for Zania.
Because, right here, right now, I’m promising my life to her. My everything to her.
And she said no.
“Why not?”
“We just started dating.”
“So?”
“And you’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than three weeks.”
“It’s different—”
“With me? Yeah.” She reaches out. Caresses my cheek. “And I want to be different with you.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t need a legal document and a wedding dress to make me whole.”
“But you want it. I’m giving it to you.”
“I know. And I love you for it. So much.” She shakes her head. Her eyes glisten. “You know, what happened with my dad told me something about myself.” She shrugs. “I thought I’d grown as a person. I thought I’d stopped being so stupid and naïve, but I hadn’t.”
“He fooled you.”
“Yes.”
“He was your father. You wanted to think the best of him.”
“That’s true too. And it’s true that I rushed into accepting him without asking any questions. It’s also true that rushing into a wedding isn’t going to fix me. I don’t want it to. I’m not ready.”
“Right.” I shift away. I’m starting to feel a little hurt.
Coming to this decision wasn’t easy for me. I knew I was facing down the barrel of a completely different life.
But it was a risk I was willing to take.
Because I’d do anything for Zania.
I’m all or nothing.
And when you love like that, it’s easy to be made into a fool.
“Oh, baby.” She wraps her arms around my back. Presses her soft, soft lips into my shoulder. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad.”
Her hands trail over my shoulder. Nails skim my chest. My eyes catch on her ring-less finger.
What is this feeling?
Disappointment.
I should be rejoicing. To be honest, I’m not entirely ready for marriage myself. I thought we could learn the ropes together. Barrel through together.
Probably not the best strategy.
But still…
“I love you.”
I grunt.
“Say it back.”
“Later.”
She takes the shell of my ear. Bites down softly.
Innocent baker my backside.
My muscles coil with heat.
Whether or not I’m angry with her, my body’s got its own feelings.
Zania kisses my neck. “I’m trying to seduce you.”
“I can see that,” I mutter.
“Is it working?”
“You’re a little clumsy.”
She gasps. “Jerk.”
I grin. Turn around. Pin her hands to the bed as I hover over her. “It’s cute.”
Her gaze dips lower. My chest. My hips. Back up to my eyes. “I was going for sexy.”
“You are.”
“Then why call me cute?”
“Because you’re that too.”
She looks up at me like she’s about to devour me. That boldness… that confidence… it was inside her all along.
And it gets my engines revving like nothing else ever has.
Her fingers dig into my shoulder. Pulling me close. The pads of her fingers are soft against my skin, a sharp contrast to the slight pain of her nails scraping the same flesh.
She stares up at me. Nods an invitation.
It’s intimate in a way I’ve never experienced.
So much trust.
More than I can take.
Damn. I hope I don’t hurt her.
Hope I don’t hurt us both.
That’s the last thing I want to do.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“You better.” She grins. And then pants. And then moans as I throw her around and hold nothing back.
31 Zania
I hear the shower running and pry my eyes apart. It’s late. Or maybe it’s early. I’ve lost track of time here in this love-cabin of an apartment with Teale today.
I’ve lost track of a lot of things.
Like the amount of times he’s kissed me.
Teased me.
Made me scream his name.
It’s a miracle the police haven’t shown up yet.
I rub the side of my face with my hand. Something to my left sparkles in the light straining through the pulled curtains.
The ring.
I pick it up from the nightstand and smile.
Teale actually proposed. I guess I can call my three-month mission a sorta-success. Even if I’m not engaged, I could have been.
It’s good enough for me.
If we’re meant to be, we’ll be together for a long time. Whether that’s with a marriage license or not.
Rejecting his proposal was the right step.
I know Teale wants to be someone I can depend on, but I want to be someone he can depend on too. Someone who knows who she is. Someone he can be proud of and who’s proud of herself.
The show
er stops.
He emerges from the room wrapped in nothing but a towel.
The breath leaves my body in a whoosh as my eyes fall on his chiseled torso.
“Morning.”
“It’s still morning?” I ask.
Croak, really.
It’s hard to think or form words with him standing there half naked.
Nothing under that towel…
“Late morning.” His pale feet pad against the floor. He flashes me a knowing grin. “You sore?”
Even if I was, I wouldn’t be able to tell over all the delicious throbbing that started when I caught sight of that V line running down...
I don’t know if it’s Teale who’s insatiable or I am.
“Hungry.”
“For breakfast? Well, brunch now.”
I take too long to answer. “Yeah.”
He laughs. “You’re putting me to work.”
“Don’t act like you’re not enjoying it.”
A pleased smirk flirts with his lips. “I guess I am a bad influence.”
“It’s alright. I’m a good influence. We’ll balance each other out.” I slide out of bed.
Although I’d love to keep this banter going, I am kind of hungry. We haven’t eaten anything since yesterday at lunch.
“I should take a shower too.” I rub my chin. “But I don’t have any clothes.”
“I’ll figure that part out.” He pushes me toward the bathroom.
I capture his hand and tug him with me.
Teale happily drops his towel and follows along.
* * *
After our shower, Teale dries me off. “Let’s go shopping.”
“Shopping?” I haul my braid’s out of the stretchie clip and let them tumble around me.
Teale’s eyes linger on the twists.
I know he’s impressed.
I know he loves my braids. He’s mentioned it a couple times, using other, dirtier words, but I got the hint.
The tips of my braids are wet. I usually shove them under a plastic bag (yes, I’m cheap like that) when I shower, but Teale and I aren’t at the plastic-bag-over-my-head-while-we-shower-together stage yet.
Maybe later.
For now, I have to leave them out to dry or they’ll stink.
Teale hands me my bra, shirt, and skirt from yesterday.
“Um, there’s a piece missing.” I arch an eyebrow.
“Don’t worry.” His thumb swirls against my cheek. “Lingerie will be our first stop. After breakfast.”
I roll my eyes, but I can’t help the grin creeping on my face or the heat flashing my chest.
My body’s throbbing again.
As if we didn’t just take care of that in the shower.