Upstairs in Hughes-Trigg, mothers in long leather jackets and fur-trimmed coats—their hair done, their clothes designer—pace the main floor, fidgeting and glancing at the staircase their daughters descended an hour ago.
Two mothers perch on stools near the top of the staircase, strangers chatting to pass the time. Their cell phones keep interrupting.
“Yes, I saw her this morning,” one says to her husband. “She was just about in tears. Three girls in her rush group asked me if I could buy them white turtlenecks. It was all she could do to keep from crying.” She hangs up and explains to the other mother that she has been here for days to monitor her daughter throughout rush. “She was ecstatic one day and terrified the next day,” she says.
“I heard SMU is cutting this year because there are more girls rushing than in years past,” responds the other. They watch as a lone girl, weeping, dashes up the stairs and toward a dormitory.
“I saw another girl heartbroken because she didn’t get into any. She was crying, too,” says one of the mothers.
“Oh, this is just horrible,” the other clucks.
“This is a cruel, cruel thing.”
“Do you have any other kids?”
“I had a boy who went to a college without a Greek system, thank God.”
A cell phone rings repeatedly. The mother whispers to the caller that there has been no news. “They’re calling me and saying, ‘Do you know yet? Do you know yet?’” she explains to the other mother. “I should call my mother. She’s anxious.”
“Is your mother in your sorority also?”
“Yes.” The mother cocks her head. “You don’t seem nervous.”
“No, I know she got in.”
“How?”
The mother waves a manicured hand dismissively. “Oh, one of the sisters told me yesterday, ‘Don’t worry, she’s in.’”
The other mother bites her lip and looks relieved when her phone rings again. “You did? Oh!” She begins to cry. “Oh honey, thank you, Lord. Oh darlin’, I’m so happy for you. You know who you need to thank, don’t you? I need to say a prayer first.”
The mothers make their way outside to the crowd of hundreds waiting in front of the sorority houses. Police officers stationed on corners hold maps highlighting the path of Pigs’ Run. When all of the nearly five hundred girls have learned their fate, they come bursting out of the doors to Hughes-Trigg. The first pledges to leave the building are exuberant, holding hands and laughing as they sprint. Fraternity brothers pack the crowd, holding red plastic cups of beer. They are forbidden to spray water this year; in fact, a Panhellenic missive on the Student Center Bid Day calendar orders “Men must stay behind the barracades [sic] or in the parking lots at all times.”
“I almost brought ground beef to throw at my girlfriend instead,” says one brother.
“I just came here to watch girls run,” says another.
The last girls out of Hughes-Trigg walk slowly, trying to compose tear-streaked faces before they disappear into the waiting throngs, swallowed by a Burberry sea of high-heeled boots, roses, and fur. Within minutes, professional photographers snap group picture after group picture of the pledges, the sisters, then the pledges and the sisters, while DJs at many of the houses blast music from elaborate sound systems. Kappa Kappa Gammas and Delta Gammas pose under balloon arches. At the Theta house, First Lady Laura Bush’s old haunt, sisters line-dance on the lawn and the porch, doing the “Theta Shuffle” as they cheer. On the next block, Pi Phis dance for the crowd to Abba’s “Dancing Queen,” which competes with strains from other porches of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” and Ludacris’s “Roll Out.”
In the Hughes-Trigg Student Center, the ballroom is now empty. A few Bid Cards are strewn on the floor, and boxes of tissues still lie in their strategic spots on small couches and behind the Rho Chi tables. The girls have been judged and dispersed, assigned letters and labels signaling their new affiliations. Signaling that they belong. The pledges’ anonymous, blank white shirts are now covered by lettered jerseys identifying them forever—as long as they adhere to proper standards. They were not drenched on their way to their new homes, as sisters were in years past. They did not have to sit on the sealed envelopes bearing the name they still believe will play a critical role in the rest of their lives. But as before, girls peeled off from the pack, unlabeled and crestfallen, veering away from the houses in tears. And again, the exhibitionism, the preening and dancing for the boys, the painstakingly chosen clothing and diamonds, appropriately conformed, PradaGucciChanel with designer sunglasses on their heads as accessories. Again the rush toward the upper echelons of a scene that one SMU sister calls “90210 Goes to College,” a sphere in which Greek administrators dictate to whom the girls can and cannot speak, a world that, the sister tells me, holds for them such a penetrating pressure to fit in that it currently hosts an “eating disorder epidemic.” And it becomes clear that in the realm of the pledged, nothing much, really, has changed.
For further information on sororities and
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GLOSSARY
Alumna: A sorority member who has graduated or is no longer active in the organization.
Badge (also called Pin): The symbolic, distinctive jewelry worn by initiated sorority members.
Bid: An official written invitation to join a sorority.
Big Sister: An initiated sorority member who is assigned to serve as a mentor to a new member. The new member is called the Little Sister.
Chapter: Also referred to as a house, a college branch of the sorority’s national organization.
Disaffiliate: To give up (or be forced to give up) sorority membership.
Grand Big Sister: The Big Sister of a Big Sister.
House Mom: A woman who is hired by the sorority to manage house affairs. Usually lives in a private apartment within the sorority house.
Local: A campus sorority that is unaffiliated with a national office.
National Panhellenic Conference (NPC): The umbrella organization for the twenty-six national “historically white” sororities. (Panhellenic means “all Greek.”)
National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC): The umbrella organization for the four national “historically black” sororities and the five national “historically black” fraternities.
Nationals: Sorority sister slang for the central office, or sorority headquarters, that governs every chapter of the sorority. Some groups call these headquarters Inter/nationals because sororities have chapters in Canada.
Panhellenic Association/Panhellenic Council: Sometimes just called Panhellenic, the college organization or office that governs the NPC chapters on campus.
Pledge: A new member who has accepted a bid but has not yet been initiated.
Pledgemaster: The sister in charge of preparing the new members for initiation.
Pledge Period: The time between Bid Day and initiation when a new member prepares to become a sorority sister.
Rush: The period designated by the Panhellenic Association during which the sororities and interested candidates (rushees) participate in a mutual selection process.
ENDNOTES
Because the pagination of this electronic edition does not match the print edition from which it was created, the specific page references in this endnotes section should be ignored. Instead, to locate a specific passage within the text, please use the search feature of your e-book reader.
PROLOGUE
2 Southern Millionaires University: See Fiske, Edward B., with Robert Logue. The Fiske Guide to Colleges, 2001. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2000.
2 “college in country club clothing”: The Insider’s Guide to Colleges 2000, compiled and edited by the Yale Daily News. New York: St. Martin’s, 1997.
2 such as “Running of the Bulls” or “Squeal Day”: Running of the Bulls—Oklahoma State University. See Saucier, Heather.
“Crushed by the Rush: When Perfect Matchmaking Doesn’t Work, Sorority Rejection Can Be Painful.” Tulsa World. August 24, 1997. Squeal Day—at the University of Alabama, among other schools. See Zengerle, Jason. “Sorority Row: Alabama’s New Schoolhouse Door.” The New Republic. February 4, 2002.
INTRODUCTION
5 “Delta, Delta, Delta, Can We Help Ya, Help Ya Help Ya?”: This was the line sisters used to answer the telephone in a sorority skit on Saturday Night Live.
6 “Old Blue” and “Café Au Lait” (Sigma Delta Tau): See Thornton, Bonnie, and Debbie Thornton. Ready for Rush: The Must-Have Manual for Sorority Rushees! Nashville: Hamblett House Inc., 1999. See also http:/www.sigmadeltatau.com/info/pmfc.html.
6 “Olive Green” and “Pearl White” (Kappa Delta): See Thornton and Thornton. Ready for Rush. See also The Norman Shield of Kappa Delta, an intrasorority publication given to new members, last revised in July 2003.
6 sorority emery boards, money pouches, picture frames, bottle openers, and refrigerator magnets . . . “Sorority Lip Balm” . . . sorority air freshener . . . sorority bath crystals . . . sorority tissue: All of these were actual items for sale on tables and in bins at a Greek boutique.
8 sorority’s national office: Because several sororities now have chapters in Canada, they are beginning to refer to their offices and headquarters as “Internationals” or “Inter/nationals.” The current college sisters whom I spoke with still call them “Nationals”; for this reason, I refer to headquarters as Nationals throughout this book.
8 MTV had just aired a show called Sorority Life: MTV’s Sorority Life tracked a local sorority at the University of California-Davis. Sorority Life 2, which followed a local sorority at the University of Buffalo, aired in spring 2003.
9 The twenty-six member groups of the National Panhellenic Conference . . . established in 1902 to oversee the historically white national sororities: See 100 Years of the National Panhellenic Conference. Published by the National Panhellenic Conference, which is headquartered in Indianapolis, Indiana, to celebrate its century anniversary. Within Greek communities, groups in the National Panhellenic Conference are often referred to as “historically white” sororities, or “NPC” sororities, as opposed to the “historically black” sororities or “NPHC” groups overseen by the National Pan-Hellenic Council. Because in all of the sororities I came into contact with, the “historically white” sororities were indeed heavily majority-white and the “historically black” sororities were heavily majority-black—and because the NPC and NPHC designations can be confusing—I sometimes refer to the groups as “white” or “black” groups.
9 claim to instill within their sororities . . . whose motto is “Many Hearts, One Purpose”: See www.aephi.org; www.aephi.org/story/phacts.asp.
9 goals such as Delta Delta Delta’s, to “. . . assist its members in every possible way”: See www.deltadeltadelta. org/about/about.htm.
9 They foster, like Kappa Kappa Gamma, “friendship rooted in a tradition of high standards”: See www.kappakappagamma.org/new_about.htm.
9 when one school’s Panhellenic adviser attempted to blacklist me on her campus for writing this book, she insisted she must “protect our women”: The adviser, who oversees the sororities on her campus, included in an e-mail the line “. . . we would like to do what we can to protect our women and our Greek community.” I refer to this letter again in December’s chapter.
AUGUST
25 Sorority “types” are inevitable . . . “Klan’s Daughters”: Sorority sisters told me about these stereotypes in interviews.
26 Ready for Rush: The Must-Have Manual for Sorority Rushees! . . . “hotbed for controversy”: See Thornton, Bonnie, and Debbie Thomton. Ready for Rush. The Must-Have-Manual for Sorority Rushees. Nashville: Hamblett House, 1999.
29 In the spring of 1996 . . . “It was surreal”: See Hubbard, Kim, Anne-Marie O’Neill, and Christina Cheakalos. “Out of Control; Weight-Obsessed, Stressed-Out Coeds Are Increasingly Falling Prey to Eating Disorders.” People. April 12, 1999.
29 A 1990s study . . . self-induced vomiting were sorority sisters: See Meilman, Philip W., Ph.D, Frank A. Von Hippel, and Michael S. Gaylor, M.D. “Self-Induced Vomiting in College Women: Its Relation to Eating, Alcohol Use, and Greek Life.” Journal of American College Health. Vol. 40 (July 1991).
29 Turned to plastic surgery to better fit in: See, for example, Wright, Esther. Torn Togas: The Dark Side of Campus Greek Life. Minneapolis: Fairview Press, 1996.
35 There are three stages . . . alumna: This information is in basic sorority guides and glossaries. See, for example, Rose, Margaret Ann. Rush: A Girl’s Guide to Sorority Success. New York: Villard, 1985.
35 These elected officers . . . a philanthropy chair, and others: In addition to learning about sorority structures through interviews, I gleaned information from copies of chapter bylaws given to me and from sorority manuals such as Pi Phi Forever, the guide distributed to new members by “The Grand Council.”
37 According to a private investigation . . . pledging activity: See “Sorority Accused of Hazing in $100 Million Suit.” CNN.com. September 24, 2002.
37 with at least three AKA sisters and two other pledges: See “Sorority Accused of Hazing in $100 Million Suit.” CNN.com; Banks, Sandy, and Jill Leovy. “Drownings Raise Hazing Questions.” Los Angeles Times. September 14, 2002; and Hayasaki, Erika. “Victim’s Mother Starts Anti-Hazing Group.” Los Angeles Times. October 13, 2002, reported two other pledges and at least three sisters on the scene. Fields-Meyer, Thomas, and Susan Christian Goulding. “A Sea of Pain Eager to Join a Sorority, Two Women Die in the Surf. Was It a Hazing Gone Wrong?” People, October 14, 2002, noted there were five witnesses.
37 After running . . . jogging clothes and sneakers: See “Sorority Accused of Hazing in $100 Million Suit.” CNN.com; Ayres, Chris. “Sisterhood Initiation Rite Blamed for Drownings.” London Times. October 19, 2002; Associated Press, “Sorority Hazing Is Blamed in 2 Deaths.” San Diego Tribune. September 11, 2002.
37 had lost sleep . . . paint over them: See Ayres. “Sisterhood Initiation Rite Blamed for Drownings”; Fields-Meyer and Goulding. “A Sea of Pain Eager to Join a Sorority.”
38 When police officers . . . fifty yards from the beach: See Ayres. “Sisterhood Initiation Rite Blamed for Drownings”; Banks and Leovy. “Drownings Raise Hazing Questions.”
38 Kristin’s family . . . $100 million wrongful-death lawsuit: See “Sorority Accused of Hazing in $100 Million Suit.” CNN.com.
38 The national AKA office . . . were missing: See Ayres. “Sisterhood Initiation Rite Blamed for Drownings.”
38 forced calisthenics are a common ritual . . . West Coast pledge periods: See Banks and Leovy. “Drownings Raise Hazing Questions.”
38 Kristin’s mother, who, following Kristin’s death, founded the group Mothers Against Hazing: See Hayasaki. “Victim’s Mother Starts Anti-Hazing Group.”
38 “stop these savage acts of passion in the name of sisterhood”: See “Sorority Accused of Hazing in $100 Million Suit.” CNN.com.
SEPTEMBER
42 Song lyrics available on www.greekchat.com.
58 rape and sexual assault are particularly prevalent at Greek events and houses: See, for example, Binder, Ron. “Changing a Culture: Sexual Assault Prevention in the Fraternity and Sorority Community.” Sexual Violence on Campus: Policies, Programs, and Perspectives. Springer Series on Family Violence. Ottens, Allen J., and Kathy Hotelling, editors. New York: Springer Publishing Company, 2001; Copenhaver, S., and E. Grauerholz. “Sexual Victimization among Sorority Women: Exploring the Link between Sexual Violence and Institutional Practices.” Sex Roles. Vol. 24, Nos. 1/2 (1991).
There have been multiple accounts of fraternity gang rapes. See, for example, Weiss, Kenneth R. “‘Animal Houses’ Try to Sober Up; A Fledgling Temperance Movement Is Struggling to Take Hold at Some Fraternities Chastened by Bad Binges and Hijinks Gone Wrong.” Los Angeles Times. April 6, 1997. The Los Angeles Times reporte
d, “Of 110 gang rapes reported on campuses in a seven-year period, 80% occurred at frat functions.” See also Schmich, Mary T. “Gang-Rape Accusations Scar Fraternities.” Chicago Tribune. May 13, 1988.
58 At one university . . . parties anymore: See Collison, Michele N. K. “Although Fraternities Bear Brunt of Criticism for Hazing, Activities of Sororities, Too, Stir Concerns on Campuses.” The Chronicle of Higher Education. October 10, 1990.
59 rules that seem to discourage sex . . . strict bylaw: See, for example, The Norman Shield of Kappa Delta, which stipulates in its policy section, “There shall be no male visitors permitted in the sleeping quarters of any Kappa Delta house, apartment or suite or any property designated as ‘Kappa Delta’ by the institution unless the chapter has a male visitation policy that has been approved by the National Council.”
60 In 1997 . . . and depledged: See Rivera, Geraldo, host; Pretlow, Jose, executive producer. “When Hazing Becomes Torture; Panelists’ Experiences with Hazing, the Ramifications of It and Problems It’s Given Them.” The Geraldo Rivera Show. August 8, 1997.
60–61 the late 1970s . . . sleeping with strangers: See Weingarten, Paul. “Media Step Warily on SMU Story.” Chicago Tribune, March 29, 1987; Associated Press. “S.M.U. Acts on Sex Report.” New York Times. March 25, 1987; Associated Press. “SMU Allegedly Provided Sex for Recruits.” Los Angeles Times. March 24, 1987; Rossi, Rocco. “Money the Root of Evil in U.S. College Sports.” Toronto Star. April 7, 1987.
61 the NCAA to impose its first “death penalty” . . . 1987: See Lane, Wendy E. “SMU Will Find Out If There’s Life After NCAA’s Death Penalty.” The Record. August 30, 1987.
61 “Ponytail Gate”: See Weingarten. “Media Step Warily on SMU Story.”
61 in 1988 . . . dropped out of school: See 20/20. “They Never Call It Rape.” ABC News. April 13, 1990.
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