Cassie felt absolved to hear that there had been healing for Lenora. She wondered also if there might be something, or someone, in Bath that was drawing Lenora back there. Would Lenora tell Cassie if there were? “And so you will seek your future in Bath?”
“For now. I have no regrets of what has happened, Cassie. I see the place it has taken each of us, but I hear the whispers too. I feel the pity. It will take time for the gossip to settle, I think, and perhaps even longer for Papa to fully agree that this was the right choice.” She shrugged. “Beyond that, I have come to realize that I was raised with one expectation for my future—a husband and children. I never doubted it would happen or that it was the only path for happiness. I am twenty-three years old, and I have had one man cry off from his engagement and marry my younger sister. My prospects are poor.”
Cassie winced at the sting of so bold a summation.
Lenora put her hand on Cassie’s arm and smiled sympathetically. “I have no regrets,” she repeated, “but society will keep its score. For so long I have lived amid panic that if I do not marry, I shall have no joy or purpose at all.” Her smile brightened. “I no longer feel that way, Cassie. I have seen another side.”
Cassie could not believe what she was hearing. Perhaps she didn’t understand. “What side?”
“One of independence, confidence, and comfort in my own company.”
Cassie gasped. “You are not spurring marriage?” She thought of how happy she was with Evan and how much she wanted that same happiness for Lenora.
“I am no longer expecting marriage to define my future,” Lenora said. “In fact, I have looked into a position as a music teacher at a girl’s school in Bath. Aunt Gwen has been helping me. We met with the headmistress just before I left.”
Cassie was stunned, and her mouth fell open. An occupation? Though it was not unheard of for a woman to have an occupation, especially a woman of Lenora’s age, it was generally not accepted amid the gentle class. A woman’s primary responsibility was to find a husband, and then care for her home and family once she was married. To reject that was . . . uncivilized. And yet if this was truly what Lenora wanted, was Cassie in any position to pass judgment?
“Mama and Papa will not be pleased.”
“No, they will not,” Lenora said, her smile falling. “Which is why I will wait until after the wedding to tell them. I hope to return to Bath by September so I might be situated at the school in time for the new semester.”
“But if you become an independent woman . . .” Cassie trailed off, unsure how to complete her sentence without giving offense. She knew firsthand that society kept score of such things, and it would mark such a thing heavily against Lenora.
“I may never marry,” Lenora finished for her. “I know that, and I am at peace with it.”
“Are you truly?” Cassie said.
Lenora took both of Cassie’s hands and smiled. “Truly. I have come to realize that if I cannot be pleased with myself, I cannot be pleased with anyone else. A husband cannot make me whole. I must do that for myself.”
“And you think teaching is the answer to finding that wholeness?”
“I do,” Lenora said. “For now.”
Cassie blinked back tears. “I feel responsible for this.”
Lenora smiled. “Then I hope you take pride in that responsibility because I have never been more excited about my future. I get to fill my days with music and make my own way in the world. I want you to be happy for me.”
“Then I shall be,” Cassie said around the lump in her throat. “I feel that after spending our entire lives together I am only just now beginning to know you.”
Lenora laughed. “I feel the same.” She took Cassie’s arm and turned back toward the house. “I hope amid your wedded bliss that you will find time to write to me so we might become the sisters we ought to have been.”
“I shall write to you every week,” Cassie said.
They walked in silence until they reached the back door, then Cassie turned to face Lenora one last time, searching her heart to make sure she had said everything she wanted to say. “I can never thank you enough for forgiving me and giving me the chance to be with Evan. It would not have happened without you.”
“You can thank me by soaking up every bit of happiness you can.”
Cassie shook her head. “You are too good, Lenora. What else can I do? Surely there is something else.”
Lenora paused a moment and her expression turned sincere. The moonlight lit up the blue of her eyes, making Cassie think that if the right man could see Lenora in this moment and see the strength she had just demonstrated, he would have no choice but to fall in love with her. Could she truly find the happiness she craved in teaching? Might there be a man in Bath who could capture her heart and restore to her the expectation of her youth?
“You can pray for me, Cassie,” Lenora said. “Pray that I find the same happiness you have found, one way or another.”
“I shall do so every day,” Cassie said.
Lenora gave Cassie’s hand a final squeeze. “Then be happy. It is everything I want for you and Evan both.”
A warm fire crackled in the grate of the Glenside drawing room and Cassie looked up from her sketchpad as the moment struck her anew. The scene was ordinary—a repeat of many evenings played out just this way—but the very comfort of it pressed upon her mind and heart.
One year ago, Evan, Mama Glenside, Natalie, and Camilla lived in a poor section of London. Evan worked as an accounting clerk and owned one pair of shoes. Uncle Hastings drank himself into a stupor every night, his heart stuck in the past.
One year ago, Cassie was pining for Mr. Bunderson, angry at her parents, and exasperated by Lenora.
Now, some eight months after she and Evan had exchanged vows in the church she’d attended all her life, everything was different. Uncle Hastings had a single glass of wine with dinner and nothing more. Mama Glenside sang in the choir, quilted with friends, and had a light in her eyes Evan said he hadn’t seen for years. Camilla was preparing night and day for her debut, and regardless of whether Camilla had made a match this season, Natalie would have her debut next year. How things had changed. And would change again.
“What are you sketching tonight?” Mama Glenside asked Cassie from the writing desk Uncle Hastings had moved near the fire. She was fanning the most recently finished invitation so that the ink might dry.
“I’ll show you when I finish. Tomorrow, perhaps.” Cassie pulled the sketchpad closer to her chest. “How are the invitations coming?”
“One more evening’s work ought to finish it.” She placed the invitation on the stack and squared the corners.
“And then we shall have Camilla’s coming out ball!” Natalie said, her eyes dancing.
“In a fortnight,” Camilla said, always the steadying influence. “There is much to be done before then.” She’d made a list of all the things that needed to be ordered, arranged, cooked, purchased, and organized. She would make a very fine wife, especially if the fortunate man needed help putting his life in order.
Mama Glenside smiled at her daughters and returned the pen to the stock before she stood. “We’d best get back to the cottage. Come along, girls.”
Uncle Hastings, who had been reading, clapped his book shut with a snap and stood. “I shall escort the three of you, then turn in myself. We’ve an early morning tomorrow if we hope to have pheasant for dinner, Evan.”
“Yes, Uncle. I shall meet you in the stables at seven.”
It was still dark that time of morning, but now that Uncle Hastings didn’t drink himself to sleep, he liked to beat the sun when he could. He’d completed Evan’s shooting education, and they went out at least twice a week together.
“You’re very kind to escort us, Hastings,” Mama Glenside said.
“Of course.”
The
first few times Uncle Hastings had offered to escort the ladies to the Dower House, located exactly thirty steps from the main house, Mama Glenside had protested, but he was intent on doing the gentlemanly thing, and some months ago she had stopped complaining. No one said there’d been a change in Hastings Glenside since her coming to Leagrave, or that the two of them might be perfect for one another, but Evan and Cassie shared a knowing look as everyone left the room.
“It is only a matter of time,” Cassie said with a smile.
“It is none of our business, but wouldn’t a match between them be something?” Evan replied.
He returned to his chair by the fire and picked up the stack of farm reports.
Now that they were alone, Cassie took a breath she hoped would settle the butterflies in her stomach, which had been decidedly uncomfortable for two full weeks now. She swallowed and then cleared her throat. “Evan, will you look at this sketch and tell me what you think?”
Evan smiled at her in that way that made her melt inside. “I can already tell you what I think—it’s amazing.” Still, he stood, put the reports on his chair and came around the back of the settee where she was sitting. Before looking at the sketch, he kissed the back of her neck, adding a shiver to the melting and almost making her forget the drawing. He lifted his head and, though she couldn’t see his reaction, she felt him freeze and inhale quick and sharp.
Cassie allowed the silence to hang between them a moment. “I’m hoping you can build this.” She tapped her pencil on the paper.
“A cradle?” he said in a reverent tone.
She turned so she could look into his face. “A cradle.”
In an instant, he came around to sit beside her, his eyes going to her belly, the sketchpad, and her face. “You’re certain?”
She nodded and blinked back tears. His reaction was everything she’d hoped it would be. “I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed by the project. You’ve six months to have it ready. I think it would be lovely in walnut, or would you suggest oak?”
He rested his gaze upon her and took her hand, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. “Do you understand what’s happened, Cassie?”
She laughed. “I know very well what’s happened, believe me. I am sick for hours each morning and . . .” Evan’s expression was too serious for her jesting, and she fell silent.
“You’ve made us a family.”
“We were a family already,” Cassie said.
“What I mean . . .” He paused as though to collect his thoughts. “My mother and sisters are safe and well-cared for, my uncle is teaching me everything he can to help me make a success of this estate, and now you have given me a family of my own—something I dared not hope for such a long time.”
“You certainly can’t give me all the credit,” Cassie said, though she was deeply touched. “There is fate and God and entailments to thank.”
“And you.”
She fell silent, and he held her gaze. “Thank you, Cassie, for being who you are, for loving my mother and sisters, for managing my uncle and his household, and, mostly, for making me the man I could never be otherwise.”
“I could say the same things about you, Evan. Without your dedication and integrity, none of this would have happened.”
He smiled in acknowledgment of her compliment, then placed his hand over her belly. “Promise me that we will never take what we have for granted.”
In the space of a breath, the crooked paths they’d trod played out in her mind, and she marveled all over again that they could have come so far. “Never,” she breathed. “And we will cherish every day.”
He pulled her to him, wrapping her in strong arms and holding her close. In that moment, Cassie saw the path laid out before them. A path they would take together, hand in hand, with grace, humility, and gratitude. Every day.
This story originally began as a novella to be featured in one of Heather Moore’s Timeless Romance Anthology collections. As I got into the story, however, it grew into something much more complex. I wrote a different novella for Heather J. Big thanks to her for the many opportunities she’s brought my way through her entrepreneurial spirit and generous nature. She does so much good for so many people and is directly responsible for inspiring this story.
Thank you to my agent, Lane Heymont, who encouraged and supported this project, and to Heidi Taylor and Lisa Mangum at Shadow Mountain. Thank you to Donna Hatch for answering some of my questions about the time period and to my writing group for their priceless feedback: Nancy Campbell Allen (Beauty and the Clockwork Beast, Shadow Mountain, 2016), Becki Clayson, Jody Durfee (Hadley, Hadley Benson, Covenant, 2013), Ronda Hinrichsen (Betrayed, Covenant, 2015), and Jennifer Moore (A Place for Miss Snow, Covenant, 2016).
I could never do what I do without the unfailing support of my sweetheart, Lee, and the cheerleading—and extreme patience—of my kids, Breanna, Madison, Chris, and Kylee. I am blessed to have so many remarkable people in my life, and I thank my Father in Heaven for each one of them.
1. Have you ever struggled with anxiety? If so, did Lenora’s descriptions resonate with you? Why or why not?
2. Cassie struggled with her position in the birth order of her family. Where do you fit in the birth order of your family? How do you feel it has affected you?
3. Have you ever lost anyone close to you, as Uncle Hastings and Mrs. Glenside did? How have you coped with the loss and continued forward?
4. Have you ever found yourself in a situation like Evan where you were expected to fit into a world you were unfamiliar with? How did you approach the challenge?
5. Was there a particular scene you especially enjoyed in the book?
6. Do you feel that every inherent strength—like Cassie’s assertive nature or Lenora’s dedication to music—comes with a corresponding weakness?
7. Have you ever found yourself in need of forgiveness? How have you sought out that relief? How did you know when you found it?
Josi is the author of twenty-five novels and one cookbook and a participant in several co-authored projects and anthologies. She is a four-time Whitney award winner—Sheep’s Clothing (2007), Wedding Cake (2014), and Lord Fenton’s Folly (2015) for Best Romance and Best Novel of the Year—and the Utah Best in State winner for fiction in 2012. She and her husband, Lee, are the parents of four children. You can find more information about Josi and her writing at josiskilpack.com.
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