by Cassie Cole
Then I remembered what else had happened last night.
It felt like a dream. A wonderful, sexy, perfect dream. After trying to ignore my attraction to my teammates for so long, it felt amazing to finally give in to them. Even if it was only a rough imitation of sex without actually feeling his cock inside of me.
I wished he had stayed the night. I loved cuddling, and Foxy looked like the perfect partner to be spooned by and surrounded with his body as we slept. But after we had cleaned up, he gave me a goodnight kiss and disappeared from my room.
But it was the kind of release I needed, and I felt deep sexual satisfaction as I climbed out of bed.
I hope it’s not awkward today, I thought as I got dressed.
In the Air Force—and, presumably, the other branches of the armed forces—we always got our briefing before we went out on a mission. Being a smokejumper was kind of the opposite. A lot of the time we were rushed into the C23 Sherpas and dropped into the forest while a plan of attack was still being devised. Then we had debriefings afterwards to review what we did right, what went wrong, and how we could improve.
I was one of the first people into the debriefing room this morning. It was like walking into a classroom before the teacher had arrived, and I picked a seat in the back corner. Everyone else ventured into the room in twos and threes. Some of the smokejumper recruits looked worse for wear. Especially the guys who had stayed out at the bar the longest. I was glad I cut myself off at four beers.
Foxy walked into the room, looked around until he saw me, and then took the seat next to me. He had a smile on his face and looked as fresh as could be.
“Howdy,” he said without looking directly at me.
“You’re awfully chipper this morning,” I said.
He grinned toward the front of the room. “Why wouldn’t I be? We get our assignments today. I’m certainly not excited for any other reason. Nope.”
I arched an eyebrow at him and lowered my voice. “I’m feeling awfully content myself.”
He glanced over at me. The smile was stuck on his face like it was painted on. “And why is that?”
I shrugged. “I had some really good dreams last night. They were so vivid, they felt totally real.”
“Was there a handsome man in this dream?”
“Eh,” I waffled a hand. “He had some hot tattoos, but his beard was in need of a trim.”
I giggled as Foxy made an offended squeak. Then I leaned in closer to whisper.
“This dream man was everything I could have wanted. Although I still wish we had gone further. Done more.”
“Oh? Like what?”
Our base commander chose that moment to walk into the room. Commander Wallace looked like the military officer in every action movie. The smokejumpers were a part of the US Forest Service, but he wore drab olive uniform as if it had a chest full of medals on it. He removed his wide-brimmed Forest Service hat to reveal his crew cut hair, which rounded out the military look.
“Yesterday’s night jump was performed with grace, professionalism, and impressive skill,” he said to the room of twenty trainees. “We threw you into the worst jump conditions you will ever face, and despite that you were able to follow instructions and complete your mission. I was monitoring your jump closely from base, and I have some observations to make…”
As he went into the details of the jump, I found my mind wandering to the gorgeous man sitting next to me.
“So what’d you wish we had done?” Foxy whispered.
“Hmm,” I hummed softly. “Dirty things.”
“Please be more specific.”
I smiled without looking at him. “You’ll have to use your imagination.”
Foxy grunted unhappily. “I wish I had done some filthy things to you too.”
A sexy tingle ran up my spine. “Such as?”
“Nuh uh,” he whispered. “You’ll just have to imagine it.”
“I have a terrible imagination.”
He smiled up at Commander Wallace. “Too bad.”
I let out a soft groan of impatience. Maybe we should have gone farther last night. Because right now there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to find out what filthy things Foxy wanted to do to me.
Commander Wallace’s debriefing lasted an hour. Then he announced that there was no formal graduation, and that we would meet individually in his office to receive personal feedback and get our base assignments.
We filed out of the briefing room and then lined up in the hall outside his office. The line was alphabetical order, which once again put Foxy and me next to each other.
I waited until the hallway was filled with soft conversation before saying, “So, what kind of things?”
Foxy turned and grinned down at me. “Still thinking about that?”
“Maybe.”
He leaned closer enough for me to smell the minty toothpaste on his breath. “Scandalous things. Stuff that would make you blush for days.”
A shiver went up my spine. “Come on. You can’t leave a girl hanging like that.”
He shrugged as the line moved forward one person.
I enjoyed the sexy teasing because it kept me from being nervous. I’d had an individual meeting with Commander Wallace when I first applied to the smokejumper school, but that was a long time ago. I wondered what he had to say about me.
Part of me was afraid to find out.
Foxy went into the office next, and then I was waiting all alone. I glanced back at the others in line. Everyone was chatting nervously, except for Derek, who was way in the back since his last name was Sale. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, just like he’d been doing last night when he confronted me in the barracks hallway.
And just like last night, his sapphire eyes were fixated on me.
He smiled. I smiled back, then turned away before anyone could see my blush.
Foxy came out of the office with a dazed expression on his face. He clutched an envelope in both hands in front of his waist, and looked deep in thought.
When he saw me watching, he flashed me a thumbs-up before striding away.
Then it was my turn.
The office was spartan by design, with a large wooden desk and two metal file cabinets against the back wall. Commander Wallace sat between them in a simple office chair, glanced up at me, and frowned.
“Hinch, please have a seat,” he said brusquely while plucking the next envelope from a stack on the desk. He checked the front to verify the name, then broke the seal and reached inside. “I know the Air Force cares an awful lot about pomp and ceremony, but here in the Forest Service we have real work to do. Here are your wings. You can clip them on yourself after you leave.”
He slid a tiny bit of metal across the desk. I carefully picked it up with my fingertips. The smokejumper pin was similar to Air Force wings, but with a parachute in the middle flanked by the wings. Depicted in the center of the parachute was a pine tree. The pin was made of unpainted silver, with a clasp on the back so it could be pinned to a uniform.
There were only five hundred people in the country with this pin. It wasn’t expensive, or valuable, or particularly beautiful. But it meant more to me than anything else in the world.
“Thank you, sir,” I said, voice quivering with pride. “So this means I passed?”
Commander Wallace leaned back in his chair and barked a laugh. “Did you pass? Let me tell you a story, Hinch. I’ve been in charge of this training school for almost forty years. The Forest Service was one of the first sub-military groups in this country to admit a female recruit. Deanne Shulman, back in eighty-one. Now, I’m as open-minded as anyone, but I was skeptical of Deanne. Fighting fires is tough work under the best of conditions, but it’s an order of magnitude more difficult when jumping out of a plane in the middle of the goddamn wilderness. So I thought Deanne would wash out, because we sure as hell weren’t going to relax the jump school requirements for her. I made an assumption about her based on her gender.”
Wallace shook his head. “But she worked her ass off. Passed all the same physical tests as the men, including the three mile packout with a hundred pounds loaded on her shoulders. That’s hard enough for a jacked Marine to do, but Deanne only weighed a buck fifteen herself. Most impressive thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I was terribly ashamed the day I gave her her wings.”
I gave a start. “Ashamed, sir?”
I could tell he was steeling his face. Trying to hold emotion back. But when he spoke, I could hear it in his voice. “I was ashamed that I ever doubted her. Ashamed that I thought she would wash out. Ashamed that I thought less of her for being a woman. Being a smokejumper means being physically fit enough to drag a body for miles, or work a chainsaw for fifteen hours without sleep, sure. But what really matters is in here.”
He tapped his chest.
“I’ve never made the mistake of underestimating someone again,” he said. “Especially someone with heart. And Hinch? You’ve got as much heart as Deanne Shulman did forty years ago. You’ve got as much heart as any of the men here. To answer your question, yes, you passed. In fact, you’re near the top of this class of trainees. I’m damn proud to have you graduate the McCall Smokejumper School, and I can’t wait to send you out to help protect this great nation’s forests.”
There was a genuine shimmer in his eyes by the time he was done. It was weird seeing a military-looking man on the verge of tears, and to my surprise, I found myself choking up with emotion. Allowing my own walls to come down enough to share the vulnerability with him.
“Thank you, sir,” I managed to say. “I’m eager to get to work.”
He nodded once and cleared his throat. Then he passed the envelope over to me. “Your assignment is in there. I’m sending you to where you’re needed most. You’re aware of the fires spreading through California as we speak?”
I took the envelope and opened it. “Yes, sir. The Shasta Wildfire.”
“We don’t typically send new trainees right into the frying pan, but I’m making an exception. You and two others are being sent straight to Redding, California. They need fresh reinforcements, and I know you’ll make a difference. I wouldn’t be sending you if I didn’t believe that.”
He stood and shook my hand. I muttered something that I don’t remember, and then I was leaving his office for good.
“Redding, California,” I said to myself. “I can’t wait.”
7
Derek
“Redding, California?” I asked. “Is this a joke?”
Commander Wallace sat across from me with a blank expression on his face that would have made a professional poker player proud. I knew that my face was a lot more emotional, but I couldn’t bring myself to care just then. I was too shocked.
And angry.
“Not sure why this is a joke to you, Sale,” Wallace said smoothly. That poker face held strong. “Redding lost half a dozen jumpers two weeks ago to the Shasta Wildfire. They’re short-handed and desperate for fresh replacements.”
I’d spent six years in the Army Rangers before coming out here. In those six years, I’d worked for plenty of asshole officers who gave out shit assignments to the grunts they didn’t like. And no matter what Wallace said, this was a bullshit assignment if I’d ever seen one.
“Redding is the most dangerous smokejumping base in the country,” I said, biting off every word. “They’ve been non-stop busy for the past two years. Pushed to the boundary of what’s safe. Especially with the Shasta Wildfire.”
Wallace spread his hands. “All the more reason to send them help.”
“Veterans are sent there,” I insisted. “Not some green-as-grass trainees right out of jump school. Rookies always get rotated into the quieter bases, like Missoula or Winthrop. Sending us right into hell…”
“Are you afraid, Sale?” A lopsided smile now touched Wallace’s face. “If you are, you can turn down the assignment.”
I dismissed the idea before it could cross my mind. Turning down my first assignment right out of smokejumper school would be the kiss of death. Everywhere I went, my teammates would think I was a coward. I couldn’t accept that, not after how hard I worked to get this far.
“You know I can’t do that,” I said. “I won’t do that.”
“Then I fail to see why you’re complaining. Nobody else complained about their assignments.”
“This is about Syria, isn’t it? It’s about Henry?”
Wallace tensed. It was impossible to miss. The way he clasped his hands together just a little bit tighter, until the knuckles turned red. The way he clenched his jaw. The intensity that suddenly shone in his eyes, like he was staring at someone he hated.
Five years ago, and he still hasn’t forgotten. I’d been avoiding the topic since arriving at smokejumping school, and Wallace had never shown any sign of resentment. Until now.
Wallace swallowed a lump in his throat before speaking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Wallace grabbed my envelope and tossed it across the table. “You have exemplary marks here at McCall. Top of your class. Perfectly suited for Redding.”
“That’s bullshit too,” I said with a bitter laugh. “I got stuck in a damn tree in the final jump, and couldn’t get my harness loose enough to rappel down. There are a dozen jumpers who are more skilled than me. Carter, Rodriguez, Hinch…”
Saying Haley’s name brought forth a flurry of images in my head. How she fearlessly climbed up the tree to cut me loose during the last jump. The way she leaped to my defense at the bar, like a protective friend. The way she would always reach up and pull back her dark hair into a ponytail before completing one of our physical fitness tests here at training school, excitement and challenge shining in her eyes.
She was fit. She was competent. And I had a huge crush on her.
“Haley Hinch is going to Redding with you,” Wallace said smoothly. “Along with Reid Fox.”
Foxy. I mostly liked the guy—who didn’t?—but hearing his name brought forth an image I didn’t want to see: the image of him kissing Haley in the hallway last night. I’d been waiting up for her to return from the bar, and to my surprise she had stumbled into the barracks with Foxy.
The memory made my stomach feel sick. Like I should have made a move on her before he had. Like I’d missed an opportunity.
Wallace stood and opened the door to his office. “If that’s all, you may be excused.”
I rose and paused in the doorway while he held the door. “I’m sorry for what happened to Henry.”
Wallace’s poker face fell back into place.
“There was a headcount error due to a personnel switch-over,” I said. “We didn’t know he was left behind. Syria was chaos at the time, and our evac was all over the place with priorities. It was a mistake.” I leaned in close, begging him with my eyes to believe me. “If I could do it all over again, if I could find a way to go back for your son and bring him home…”
Pain broke the facade on the base commander’s face. I felt for the man. I really did. If I were in his position, I would hate me too.
But then the emotionless wall fell back into place.
“Redding is your assignment. Best of luck, Sale. You’ll need it.”
He didn’t offer to shake my hand. He just stared back at me defiantly.
I wasn’t going to give him any more satisfaction of seeing me upset, so I left without another word.
Since I was the last person alphabetically to receive my assignment, the hall was empty. I walked back to the barracks numbly.
He’s sending me to die.
I passed one of the bunks and stopped. Foxy and Haley were chatting inside. When Haley saw me, she held up her envelope.
“We’re getting sent to Redding!” she said excitedly.
“Me too.”
Foxy grinned. “No kidding? Looks like we’re hot shit around here, huh? Top of our class?”
Haley sm
iled at me. “I told you not to worry about getting stuck in the tree during the final jump. It must not have affected your overall rank.”
“Must not have,” I repeated softly.
“Still can’t believe they’re sending us straight there,” Foxy said, “rather than pulling from other bases.”
“Because they know we’re going to kick the Shasta wildfire’s ass,” Haley said, flexing one of her biceps.
They were excited. They were downright elated to be sent to Redding. In another context, I might have been as well.
But knowing what I knew, all I felt was dread. Wallace was sending me as revenge for what happened to his son. But it would look suspicious to send me alone, so he was throwing in Haley and Foxy.
They’re being sent to hell because of me.
I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I couldn’t ruin their excitement. It wouldn’t help anything.
I forced myself to smile. “Looks like you’re going to be rescuing me from a lot more trees.”
“It’ll be my pleasure.” Haley playfully punched me in the arm. “Or you’ll have a chance to repay the favor when I’m the one stuck in a pine.”
“How about nobody gets stuck in a tree?” Foxy said. “I vote for zero stuck-in-tree situations.”
As they laughed and joked about our assignment, I couldn’t decide if I was happy to have Haley with me—or guilty that I was putting her life in danger.
8
Haley
I was glad to have Foxy and Derek on the same assignment as me. We already got along, and it was always better to have a friendly face in a new environment rather than going it alone.
But for some reason, Derek wasn’t as excited. He seemed put off by the whole thing, even though he tried to hide it by fake-laughing and fake-smiling. Was he upset about the assignment, or disappointed that Foxy and I were his teammates?
I hoped it wasn’t the latter.
We spent most of the day packing our belongings and getting our flight information, which was all arranged by the McCall base coordinator. It didn’t take me long to pack, although I had to transfer my box of goodies into the suitcase that I would be checking at the gate. I made sure to take the batteries out of my vibrator—showing up with a humming, vibrating bag was not the kind of first impression I wanted to make.