“So that’s it? We’re done?” She searched his face, and his lungs tightened, only small breaths coming in and out.
He wanted to throw himself on his knees in front of her and grab her close. Ask her to stay by his side no matter what happened. But pride or stupidity or a deep-rooted unworthiness held him in place.
“I hope you’ll think of me as a friend.”
“A friend?” She chuffed, turned her back to him, and dropped back to her knees in front of the flowers, her hair hiding her face. “I’m sure Logan will be happy to have the house to himself. Maybe I’ll see you around.”
“Yep. Be careful driving back.” Tears stung his eyes. He backed away and slipped into this truck. With Avery’s warm body not even making a dent in his hollowing loneliness, a tear slipped out. He rubbed it away with the heel of his hand. Dammit. The cloud of dust kicked up by his truck obscured any sight of her in his rearview mirror.
In the past, he may have used anger to assuage his pain, but as the hot water of the shower poured over him, no fury came to fill the emptiness. The fissure only grew deeper with nothing to drive out the hurt.
Dressed in khakis and a Falcon shirt, he paced the kitchen, ignoring his phone. By now, the whole town would have heard about his past. The past he’d tried to atone for but could never leave behind. With one last look around, he left to face his team.
The superintendent fell into step with him on his slow walk from the parking lot to the practice pavilion where his players and fellow coaches had assembled. The man shot him a small smile with raised eyebrows.
Robbie stopped and rolled his shoulders. “I suppose you’ve heard.”
“Perkins made sure I did.” Robbie couldn’t detect a hint of anger or disappointment in the man’s voice. Maybe he expected Robbie to deny everything.
Robbie swallowed. “From what I can tell, everything he’s saying is true. I assaulted my foster father and wasn’t charged.”
The man picked at a fingernail, his gaze down. “So you weren’t punished?”
Being charged for his crime and being punished were two different beasts. “No charges were filed. I paid him back for any medical expenses he incurred. And I’ve lived with the regret of my actions. If I could take it all back … Is the board asking for my resignation?”
“Heavens no. As your friend, Ms. Renshaw kindly pointed out, no charges were filed, therefore we don’t have due cause.” His voice veered toward sardonic. “Anyhow, everyone felt a need to express their opinions to me. All. Day. Long. Miss Constance and her cane were the most aggressively supportive. I’m here to make sure everyone knows I have your back.”
The man held out his hand for a shake, and light-headed, Robbie returned it. The superintendent patted his shoulder and got them moving again. Robbie said, “I called a team meeting.”
“Yep. Heard that too.”
Still in a state of mild shock, Robbie huffed a laugh. He stepped into the meeting room, and the buzz of conversation crescendoed before dipping into a heavy silence. Throats cleared and feet shuffled as he made his way to the front. Perkins stood to the side, his smile distorted by the chew pooching his lip.
Robbie tripped over his words at the beginning, but as he came clean with his players, the power his past held over him faltered. Once the facts had been laid out, he made eye contact with as many players as possible. “My mistake is why I’m tough on you boys. One act of poor judgment can alter your lives forever. And even though I wasn’t charged, don’t think I haven’t paid a steep price. Anyone have any questions?”
Boys shifted and a low murmur filled the room. Tyler raised his hand. Robbie chucked his chin, and Tyler asked, “What’s the game plan Friday night? How’re we going to kick those Raiders’ asses back to Huntsville?”
Whoops and catcalls erupted. Someone started a Falcon chant. Logan clapped him on the shoulder and slipped the folder of new plays into his hands, a smile on his face. Robbie stood in the sea of noise.
It was over with no bloodshed and his job intact. He’d underestimated them. What if he’d underestimated Darcy too? Maybe she could truly love him. If he hadn’t already screwed it up and turned her love into hate.
#
Darcy stomped up the porch steps and tried unsuccessfully to rip the screen door off its hinges. Kat followed her inside, chewing on a fingernail and pulling at her hair. “I shouldn’t have told you, should I?”
“No. He should have told me, the jerk-face. But, instead, he dumped me.”
If Robbie Dalton stood in front of her, she’d punch him in the face or maybe knee him in the nuts. Yep, nuts sounded more satisfying. Then she’d throw herself at him and kiss him until he agreed he was an idiot.
His announcement they’d only been fuck buddies had jolted her, but even as she processed his hurtful words, his face conveyed a contradictory message. Somewhere under the nonsense he had spouted in her front yard was the man who’d confessed the pain of his childhood, the man who’d dropped everything when Ada died, the man who’d slept on her couch when she didn’t want to be alone, the man who’d made love to her with such passion and care. That was the man she loved.
His foster father was a total bastard. Did he think she would react with prim horror at his loss of control? He had only been a kid. Did he have no faith in her? The answer to that was obviously a resounding yes. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been Kat standing in her yard spilling her guts.
Darcy yanked a suitcase out of the closet and threw clothes inside, not bothering to fold or organize them. If she ended up with fifteen shirts and no panties, so be it. Kat grabbed the T-shirt in Darcy’s hand and as they played tug of war said, “Don’t go. Give him another chance.”
“Whose side are you on? He dumped me. And, trust me, it was harsh. I need time.” Time away from everyone’s well-meaning meddling, away from Falcon, but mostly away from Robbie. A psychology book on the workings of the male mind would be nice too.
Kat looked near tears. “I’m always on your side. You know that.”
Darcy sighed, zipped the case, and hauled Kat in for a one-armed hug before stomping down the stairs. Clutching her suitcase, she stopped in the den and tucked the three books stacked on the side table under her arm. The hospital bed was gone, leaving an empty hole. With a last look around and a deep breath, she left. After shoving her suitcase into the backseat and tossing the books beside her, she waved to Kat and skidded down the gravel lane to the blacktop out of town.
With her body still shaking from a maelstrom of emotions, chiefly anger and hurt, she pulled over behind the city limits sign. She couldn’t bring herself to leave Falcon, couldn’t cross that line. It felt too much like giving up. Was that what she was doing? Was this the end? She banged her head against the headrest. Her gaze dropped to Ada’s books.
She pulled a folded piece of paper out of Ada’s copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. It took her a few seconds to realize she held a letter. A letter addressed to her from Ada and dated a week before she died. She flipped on the overhead light to read her grandmother’s spidery handwriting.
Darcy,
Something tells me my time is short, maybe it’s God or maybe it’s my aching bones. Either way, I’ve made my peace. If I go on to live another decade, I’ll tear this letter up.
Otherwise, I hope my advice takes on the proper gravitas given that it’s coming from the grave. I’m not sure why we give dead people wisdom they didn’t earn in life, but I’m willing to take advantage of the fact.
Let the past stay there and believe in love.
You need to decide what will make you happy. If Atlanta and your job is where your heart leads you, then know that I support you. But, if your heart lies elsewhere don’t allow fear to push you past the path you’re destined to travel.
Now, about my will, which I’m sure surprised and maybe even pissed you off. I left Logan the house, not because I love you any less, but because I didn’t want it weighing you, and because Logan needs it more. I left you something
more precious. Freedom. The freedom to follow your heart. Plus, all the wisdom in my books. (We both know that would be lost on Logan!) I would have sold the Wilson homeplace to Robbie anyway. If anyone ever needed a home, it’s that fine young man.
I loved you the minute you were born and never regretted taking you and Logan in. Just as I know how much you loved me.
Ada
PS. The Wilson house would be very lovely with a woman’s touch.
A warmth squeezed her from head to toe, like one of Ada’s hugs when Darcy was little. She tucked the letter away and, laying her cheek against the worn cover, breathed in the unique smell of an old, loved book. In the few minutes it had taken her to read the letter, she knew exactly where to go and what to do. She fishtailed off the shoulder and onto the road, headed to Atlanta.
Chapter 25
“Are there any off-field issues we should be aware of?”
Robbie held the scout’s eyes. “Absolutely none. Tyler is a great all-around kid. His family is supportive. He’s never been in any kind of trouble. Maintains a solid-B average. He would be an asset to any program—on and off the field.”
Every single word Robbie spoke was the truth. Whether Tyler liked girls or boys was none of the scout’s business, and not one iota of guilt rose at the omission.
“I have to say, I was impressed. I watched film of your last game, and your kids were outsized but still managed to win. What’s your secret?” the scout asked as he rose, gathered his papers, and shuffled them back into his canvas satchel.
“Hard work. In the weight room, on the practice field, and with scouting videos.” Robbie came around the desk, and they shook hands at the door.
“UAB will offer him a scholarship. Could you put in a good word?” The scout smiled a charming, salesmanlike smile.
“I’ll let him know we talked.” It was all Robbie would promise. He wanted to open as many doors as possible, and let the boy decide. That was his job.
Logan exchanged farewells with the scout in the hallway and walked into his office. He dropped into a chair, extended his legs, and closed his eyes.
“No nap time. I have work to do.” Robbie kicked at Logan’s feet on the way back around his desk.
“Some friend you are.” Logan sat up and scrubbed at his face. “You think we have a shot in hell Friday night?”
“Maybe.”
“Those boys from Huntsville are bigger and faster.”
“Yep.”
“Better program, better equipment, better field.”
“Glad you didn’t say better coaching or I might’ve punched you.” Robbie propped his feet on the desk.
Logan heaved a sigh and slumped back in the chair, his gaze subtle but intense. “Darcy is gone.”
Robbie stopped breathing. He had gone by the house after the team meeting and banged on the door, even though her car wasn’t out front. She hadn’t responded to his texts, and he wasn’t brave enough to call after their last confrontation. Pain pumped from his heart through his body. It burned worse than any physical wound. Was he having a heart attack? He didn’t keel over dead. No, this was a broken heart. And damn, but it hurt like hell.
“Are you sure?” His words echoed cavelike in his ears.
“Got a text last night. She’s back in Atlanta.”
“I’d broken it off already so I’m not surprised. It’s no big deal.” Lies, but he’d wallow at home in his grief, not in front of Logan with the entire football team down the hall.
“You broke it off? Why in hell did you do that?”
“It was time. Plus, I didn’t want her dealing with the shitstorm of my past.”
Logan shook his head and muttered something unintelligible under his breath on the way to the door. He pivoted back and threw his hand out. “Goddammit, Darcy’s not like one of the flighty women you’ve fooled around with. She sticks. No offense, but you fucked up big time.”
Logan stalked out, brushing by Tyler who knocked on the doorjamb and bounced back and forth on his feet. “I saw the UAB scout in the parking lot. Did he say anything about me?”
Robbie tried a smile, but it felt anemic. “They want you. You have a scholarship waiting. If that’s what you want.”
“I want. I want,” Tyler chanted.
“Not so fast. There will be even more scouts in the stands Friday night. We’re one of the top four teams in state. You might get some interest from an SEC school.”
Tyler took the seat Logan recently vacated. His eyes were wide, and a wondering smile turned his lips. “I can’t believe it. This time last year, we were reading about the playoffs. None of us ever imagined we’d be in them. Thanks, Coach. For everything. Whipping us into shape, getting us tutoring, helping me. You didn’t have to do any of it.”
“I consider it part of my job. The best part.” Robbie paused—at one time, that’s where he would have stopped. “My high school coach was more of a father to me than anything.”
“You should invite him down for our game.”
Robbie’s throat drew tight. The memories were like sandpaper against his raw nerves. He could still feel the phone in his suddenly damp hand while the coach’s wife told him the news. “He died right before I graduated college. God, I miss him.”
“We’ll win it for him, for you,” Tyler said solemnly.
“All I ask is you give it your all. Tell the boys to head out to the field and run laps. I’ll be out in ten.”
“Yes, sir.” Tyler rose and crisply saluted.
Robbie hadn’t given Darcy his all. The morning Robbie stole away, he should have held her close, spent every second loving her instead of bowing to his fear. He never told her exactly what she meant to him, because he was too much of a coward. Instead, he told her lies, afraid that if she saw the ugly parts of him she’d turn away and tell him he was an unworthy, no-good loser. The words he’d heard so many times, he’d come to believe them to be true.
But they weren’t. Not anymore. He was making a difference, giving Falcon something to be proud of, teaching boys how to be men.
Regret churned his stomach. If he told Darcy how he felt and she turned away, at least he could live with himself. He’d pushed her away, afraid she’d destroy him. Now he knew. It was too late. She owned him. Maybe she had from the very beginning. Even one day without her, one day with her believing he’d only used her for sex, seemed a lifetime in hell.
If he didn’t have eighty boys and an entire town counting on him, he’d fire up his motorcycle and ride a hundred miles an hour to Atlanta. He’d find her and tell her he loved her. He’d make sure she understood the choices before making the decision to leave. But, he couldn’t. He’d have to wait and hope it wasn’t too late.
#
“’Scuse me, pardon me, so sorry.” Darcy repeated the litany as she stepped closer to her goal—Kat’s distinctive corona of hair. The band performed their halftime show and most of the people stood and chatted.
“Darcy!” Kat squealed. She grabbed Darcy’s hand around the bodies of three disgruntled men and pulled. They hugged between the narrow bleacher seats right on the 50-yard line.
“I’d forgotten what a nightmare traffic is on a Friday night in Atlanta. I wasn’t sure I’d make it in time. We’re losing,” Darcy said in a tight, worried voice. She wiggled into a spot next to Kat.
“We were down by seventeen, but Miles intercepted with twenty seconds to go and ran it in for a TD right before halftime. The Raiders are good. And fast. And really, really big. I swear they must be pumping those boys with IVs filled with protein shakes.” Kat’s voice dropped. “What did you decide?”
Darcy took a deep breath. “I quit Emory and took the Falcon library job. Gave up my apartment. Moving van is arriving next week.”
Kat grabbed her close for another breath-stealing hug. “Have you talked to Dalt?”
She looked toward the field where Robbie led his team out of the locker room for the second half. After all the decisions she’d made over the two days with
out regrets, she was racked with sudden uncertainty. “Not yet. We need to talk face-to-face.”
A nod was Kat’s response, but worry pulled at her face.
Darcy turned away first. “Kickoff.”
She concentrated on the game, cheering and moaning as the tide turned back and forth. The Falcons pulled within one scoring drive with three minutes to go. Darcy stood tall on top of the metal seat and hollered at the team, waving blue-and-white pompoms above her head.
Tyler saw her and gave her double thumbs-up before he pulled his helmet on. Robbie huddled his offense and gave them last-minute instructions. The boys jogged onto the field and assumed their positions.
Either Tyler said something or Robbie sensed her in the stands, because he turned and scanned the crowd. Their gazes tangled. Her screams lodged in her throat and she froze, her arms still in the air. What could she do?
She smiled. As big and open and loving a smile as she could manage. He didn’t smile back, but neither did he turn away. Not until the referees blew the whistle, signaling the start of the most important three minutes of his coaching career.
#
Robbie jogged under the goalposts to the locker room in a daze. They’d lost in spectacular fashion. A Raiders linebacker had stripped the ball and ran it back for a touchdown the second play of the series, hurtling the game out of their reach.
The loss only filled him with mild disappointment. Mostly for the boys and for the town. Their dream season was over, but another dream materialized for Robbie. Darcy had been in the stands. At first, he thought he’d imagined her or mistaken someone else for her, but then she’d smiled. He’d barely restrained himself from looking behind him to make sure her attention wasn’t meant for Logan or one of the players.
A gauntlet of reporters and sad fans waited outside the locker room. Damn.
Slow and Steady Rush Page 25