“I take it you have not been out in public much lately, then?
She peeked over his shoulder to watch Robert and Constance. They danced well together, with an ease of familiarity. It seemed likely they had danced before.
“Ellie?”
She returned her preoccupied gaze to Stephen’s kind eyes.
“Yes? No. I mean, no, I don’t usually dance, so... I don’t know how you managed to get me out here.” She smiled at him weakly.
“By sheer force, Ellie. I manhandled you out here, but it is working very nicely, I think.”
She managed to return his grin but found her eyes straying toward Robert once again.
The dance ended, and Stephen returned Ellie to her position by the wall, apparently intent on remaining by her side, for which she was grateful. He nodded to acquaintances and introduced Ellie, giving her more insight on who they were once they’d moved on. A lively dance ensued, and Ellie watched the younger people frolic on the floor. Robert remained glued to Constance’s side, his head bent to hear her every word, an occasional smile lighting his face.
Ellie continued to feel sick to her stomach, with an ache near her chest. She suspected it might be heartburn...or something.
“Stephen, you’ll have to forgive me. I’m really not feeling well. I think I’m going to have to go upstairs.”
He turned to her with concern. “Ellie, I am sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do? Should I call someone? Melinda, perhaps?”
She shook her head vehemently. She just wanted to sneak out and disappear.
“No, no, thank you. It was very nice to meet you. I hope I see you again soon.”
Stephen caught her hand as she turned away. “And you, Ellie. I hope to see you again soon.” In a surprise move, he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss on the back.
Ellie caught her breath at the bold move and dipped into a teensy curtsy with downcast eyes before she moved out of the room. Her plan to hurry up the stairs was thwarted by having to drag her gown with her, but she made it to her room in good time. Unwilling to call Alice to help her get out of the dress, Ellie dropped onto the bed face first. Whatever she’d been holding in released itself, because she promptly burst into tears and sobbed into the quilt.
A firm knock on her door penetrated her consciousness, and she clamped her mouth shut and held her breath, hoping whoever it was would go away. Another knock followed. Ellie sighed. It was probably Melinda or Alice come to check on her. She tussled and struggled with her voluminous gown and unyielding corset to throw herself off the bed and move toward the door, opening it at last to find Robert with his hand raised, ready to knock again.
“Is everything all right? Are you ill?” The concern in his voice threatened to send her off into another crying spell.
Ellie dashed a hand across her face, hoping he couldn’t see her tears in the muted light of the hall.
“No, I’m fine. I must have eaten something that disagreed with me. I-I apologize for leaving without saying anything.”
“Well, apparently you thought it important enough to advise Mr. Sadler of your poor health.” His eyes hardened as he gazed at her.
“What?” she mumbled, confused and miserably unhappy. What had happened to the carefree man she’d met only two days ago?
“I am afraid I found it necessary to ask your constant companion, Mr. Sadler, where you had gone, and he was so kind as to tell me that you felt ill.”
“Oh.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “I said I was sorry, Robert. I didn’t think anyone would miss me. You seemed...occupied.”
“Well, you thought wrong. Do you need a physician?” He clasped his hands behind his back and searched her face.
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. You should probably return to your guests. I’m sure Constance would like to see you.” She hated her snide remark.
“Yes, I am sure she would,” he said without a blink. Ellie’s heart sank. “Very well, then. I shall leave you to rest. I will send Alice up to help you.”
“No, thank you, Robert. I hate to bother your employees at night. I can undress by myself.”
“If you could, you would be out of that dress by now. I was not unaware of how uncomfortable you looked this evening.”
“Me?” She looked at him in surprise. “Actually, the dress is quite comfortable now that I am used to it.”
“Oh! I thought you looked...unhappy.” His eyes softened, and his tight mouth relaxed for a moment.
“I-I’m fine. I do apologize for being so rude to you earlier. I must seem very ungrateful, after all you have done for me.”
He shook his head firmly. “There is no need to apologize. I was rude, as well. I was not myself. If you will not have Alice, is there anything I can do for you?”
Ellie thought about asking him to take her in his arms and lay with her for the rest of the night...or even for the rest of her life. Then she recovered her sanity.
“Noooo. Well, yes, actually, there is.” She swallowed hard. He would turn her down flat.
“What is it?
“I wonder if you could... umm...unhook this dress. After that, I’ll be fine, really. It’s just I can’t reach.” Having asked the question, Ellie wished the earth would swallow her up. The shocked expression on Robert’s face humiliated her. She hadn’t exactly asked the man to make love to her...as she really wanted.
“Oh, I-I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “I can see you’re shocked. Never mind, I can do this. I’ll be fine. Forget I asked.” Ellie grabbed the door to shut it, but he put out his hand to block it.
“No, no, that is fine. I am not shocked. At least, I do not think I am. Turn around.”
Ellie obediently turned. Nothing happened for a long, long moment, and she looked over her shoulder.
“Is everything all right? Can you see the hook and the eyes?”
He cleared his throat, but when he spoke, it sounded husky.
“Em...yes. Just a moment.”
Ellie felt his hands against her back as he slowly unhooked the dress. She grabbed the front of the dress to keep it on. Her neck and back tingled to his touch. If he would just press his body against her, she would be the happiest woman in the world. She almost willed it, but he cleared his throat once again and moved away. She could tell by the sudden coolness on her back. She stepped behind the door and turned, peeking out from the side.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Robert stared hard at her, his hand still in midair. He seemed at a loss for a moment. He dropped his hand and cleared his throat once again.
“Yes, yes, of course. You are welcome. Good night, then.”
“Good night,” she murmured, closing the door on the man she wanted above all others. Unwilling to let him go, she pressed her face against the wood, listening for his footsteps. A full minute passed before she heard his soft step on the carpet as he moved down the hall toward the stairs.
With a sigh, she turned away from the door and crossed to the bed. She wriggled out of the dress and petticoats and slipped the soft white linen nightgown over her head. Alice had laid out a matching robe, but Ellie tossed that onto the chair before she climbed into the bed. She burrowed into the covers and pressed her face into a pillow.
Her chest still ached, and she realized it wasn’t heartburn. She now knew where the word heartache came from. It really did hurt. The deeper she fell under the Victorian man’s spell, the more awkward things became. If this was a dream, why couldn’t she control its outcome? Was he in love with Constance? Would he marry her someday? Why couldn’t she awaken when it became too painful?
She closed her eyes and willed sleep to come, but it took its sweet time arriving.
****
Ellie opened her eyes to a sliver of gray light coming through the curtains. She turned over and looked at her clock. 5:57 a.m. The alarm would go off in a few minutes. She stared at it again drowsily, aware of an intense feeling of sadness.
Her dreams! She must have been dreaming. Ellie squeezed her eyes shut in an effort to recall the dream, to locate the source of the strange grief that ached in her throat. A sense of loss, green eyes, a warm hand on her back. The elusive memory escaped her, and she sighed. She pushed a button on the clock to turn it off and turned over.
Kyle faced her, snoring lightly, his blonde hair ruffled like a little boy’s mop. She studied his face. Perennially young, it seemed as if he would never age. At thirty-five, he had no wrinkles, no sun damage, no worry lines. She sighed softly. He hardly ever worried. Life seemed to happen around him but not to him. She wondered how they’d ever managed to stay together, given her inability to control her emotions, and his inability to emote. Inability or unwillingness—she never knew.
His blue eyes drifted open, and he stared at her for a moment.
“Good morning,” she murmured.
“Morning,” he said as he turned over, leaving Ellie to stare at the back of his tousled head. She’d hoped for a good-morning kiss, at the least, though that was not their custom. In fact, Kyle had just done what he did every morning—turn over and go back to sleep for a few minutes while she dressed.
She wished he would look intently into her eyes just once, but she couldn’t remember him ever looking intently at anything other than the newspaper. She sighed and crawled out of bed to head for the shower. Fifteen minutes later, she gently shook his shoulder to wake him. Moving to her closet, she dragged out the nearest sweater and skirt and slipped the one over her shoulders and the other over her hips. She paused as she eyed the hook at the skirt waist, a memory tugging at her subconscious, along with the oddest thought that getting dressed had been particularly easy this morning.
Kyle rolled out of bed and stepped into the shower. Ellie made her way into the kitchen and turned on the coffeepot. Kyle liked to have his coffee ready when he woke. She poured herself a cup of orange juice and looked at her watch. No time to drink it. She’d have to fly out of the apartment to catch the El to the college. She grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“See ya, Kyle.”
“Wait, Ellie.” Kyle rushed into the living room, still wet from his shower, a towel wrapped around his waist. Ellie turned back in surprise. “Wait,” he murmured as he dashed back into the bedroom. He emerged in a moment, wearing a robe.
“I have to go, Kyle. Can this wait?”
“No. No, Ellie, it can’t. I’ve been waiting for a while now.”
Ellie stared at him, normally such a calm man, now nervously clanking in the kitchen for a coffee cup. She held her bag and waited.
“Sit down,” he mumbled as he moved toward the breakfast table.
“Ummm...okay.” She pulled out a seat and perched on the edge. “What’s going on?”
Kyle stared down into his cup for a moment and then glanced at her across the table. His eyes flickered around the room; he couldn’t seem to keep them steady. He resumed his study of his coffee.
“Kyle? I have to go.” Ellie was going to miss the train, and she would be late. It didn’t really matter. She didn’t have an early class, but she did have papers to read and grade.
“I know. I know. Wait just a minute.” He put up a hand and took a deep breath. “Ellie, I don’t know how to say this to you, but...I-I’m moving out.”
Ellie dropped her purse. “What?”
“I’ve met someone. I’m sorry. I hate to do this to you. We’ve been together so long.”
“But how? I thought we were going to...”
“I know. I know.” He couldn’t keep his eyes on her face. “I know we were going to get married, but we’ve never set a date. You never set a date.”
“Me? What about you?” Confusion more than anything reigned supreme in Ellie’s mind. She assumed the shock of the moment trumped everything and that misery and grief would soon follow, but for now she just felt confused.
“Okay,” he raised a pacifying hand. “Neither one of us set a date.” He finally managed to meet her eyes. “Doesn’t that tell you something?”
She shook her head and remained silent. He was right. She’d felt more of a sense of loss when she’d awakened from her dreams.
“I-I don’t know what to say. Are you in love with her?”
Kyle blinked for a moment and nodded sheepishly. “Yeah, I think I am. Maybe. I don’t know.” He raised a hand to his forehead and rubbed it. Then his eyes flickered back to her face again.
“I always loved you, Ellie. You have to know that.”
Ellie smiled weakly. “I know, Kyle. I know. I loved you, too.”
They looked at each other blankly for a few moments. It seemed they’d said all they could. She rose once again, trying to remember what her morning routine was. Go out the door, catch the El, go to work. “I still love you,” she murmured in a daze.
Kyle moved toward her, unexpectedly pulling her into his arms in an unusual gesture of affection.
“I still love you, too, Ellie. I’m sorry.” He pressed her face against his chest. He smelled of soap, his scent familiar, recognizable.
She pulled away, tears in her eyes. “When? When are you leaving?”
He hung his head for a moment before he looked up.
“Today. I’ll be gone before you get home.”
Ellie caught her breath. “So soon? I-I didn’t know it would be so soon. Why?”
“I think it’s best, Ellie.”
“Are you...are you going to move in with her?” Ellie knew she shouldn’t ask but she couldn’t help herself. The future looked bleak. While their relationship lacked spontaneity and romance, he had been her companion—the man she’d expected to marry until a few short moments ago.
Kyle studied the carpet for a moment. “Ellie, I don’t think you want to know.”
She bit her lip and turned away in humiliation. “You’re right. I don’t want to know.” She hurried toward the door before the tears fell onto her face. “I have to go.”
“Ellie,” he called, but she did not turn back.
Chapter Eleven
Ellie woke up in the dark—disoriented, confused. She turned to look at her clock but couldn’t see the bright blue numbers. She rolled over onto her other side and put out a hand. The rest of the bed was empty and cold. No Kyle.
He was gone!
A sliver of light peeped under the door, and she crawled out of bed to make her way toward the faint glow. She pulled open the door and peeked out. A soft light from a wall sconce kept the darkness of the hallway at bay. She was back in the Queen Anne house again. But in what era? What if she’d slipped back into the dream in another time? What if Robert no longer lived? Had she dreamt about Kyle? Was she dreaming now? The alternative—time travel—was just not possible.
Ellie turned back and grabbed her robe from the chair. She tiptoed into the hallway and shut the door behind her with a small click, unwilling to wake Melinda just down the hall...if she was still there.
Ellie made her way to the staircase, gripped the banister tightly, and followed it down, one careful step at a time. The darkened foyer revealed nothing. A round table stood in the middle...as it had. She ran her hand along the sleek wood, but couldn’t tell if the table was the same.
The first floor lay in darkness except for a sliver of light under the study door. She moved toward it and rested her ear against the wood, listening for sounds. The last thing she wanted was to wake up in the house with a complete set of strangers. Ellie found the handle, eased open the door and peeked in.
A small lamp on an occasional table provided the only light in the room. Robert slumped in one of the easy chairs—jacket and tie discarded, his normally well-groomed hair disheveled, an empty wineglass in his hand. A bottle of wine sat on the carpet at his feet. The scene, though at odds with the controlled man she thought she knew, brought her an intense feeling of relief. She had not lost him forever. Not yet.
“Robert,” she whispered, unsure if he slept.
His eyes flew open, and he turne
d in her direction.
He struggled to rise.
“Ellie, what are you doing here? Are you ill?”
He moved toward her, his hand outstretched. In the soft light of the room, she found courage and reached for his hand.
“No, I feel all right. I had a dream. I thought I had returned to my own time. Or maybe I’m dreaming now. I was so scared I wouldn’t see you again.” Ellie’s voice broke as she looked up into his haggard face.
Robert pulled her into his arms and buried his face in her neck, holding her tightly to him. Taken completely by surprise, she froze for a moment. His breath against her neck made her knees weak. She tilted her head back to look at him for a moment. Was he drunk? This was so unlike the seemingly proper turn-of-the-century man she’d met.
Robert stared down into her face with troubled eyes. He cupped her face in his hands and bent his head to kiss her. At the first warm touch of his lips on hers, he slid his arms around her once again and held her as if he would never let her go.
Delirious with the unexpected pleasure of his spontaneous kiss, Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and rose up on tiptoe in an effort to mold herself to his body. She kissed him with abandon...without reserve. The past, present and future came together in a passionate crescendo as she moved against him. She felt him respond to her, pulling her tighter and tighter against him until she couldn’t breathe. His hands roamed her back until his hand caught in her hair.
Then he stilled suddenly and put Ellie from him. Unable to stop herself, she reached for him again, but he placed gentle hands on her shoulders. In the soft light of the study, she saw that his eyes traveled the length of her body as no well-bred Victorian man should allow. She blushed. What was he thinking? That she had no morals, no self-control?
“Ellie, we cannot.” His breathing was ragged. “I cannot tell you how much I want you, but I will not take advantage of you.”
“Yes, you can.” Ellie heard the words she wanted. He wanted her. She moved toward him again. With a groan, he pulled her to him. Still, he held back. With one hand under her chin, he raised her face to his. He gazed into her eyes and shook his head.
10 Timeless Heroes; A Time Travel Romance Boxed Set Page 197