“Wait, you don’t seriously think any of them are gay, do you?” Reina laughed. Aiko wanted to jab her nail into her girlfriend’s thigh. Don’t ruin this!
“We are well aware that most of these women are straight,” Yatsumi said, her stoic face calculating Reina’s intent. Even with her grungy clothes and sleek, long hair she was a formidable foe. “It’s about the fantasy, or getting to pretend that such women as them would woo you in the same way they would their partners on stage.”
“To be fair, some of them have to be gay.”
“Hmph.” Reina smirked. “It is true, I suppose. But don’t mistake the fantasy you see on a stage for the real deal. I used to do theater as well.”
Everyone but Mio – who remained largely fixated on the TV – nodded. Aiko let out a sigh of relief. When they met, Reina performed in a girl group at a mid-sized theater. Part of her act was to portray a feminine image, available to the older male patrons throwing their money at them. Reina was the greatest actress of them all. Aiko looked back at the TV and the women, dressed as men, cavorting with one another and flirting with the “real” women. “Don’t mistake the fantasy.” Not something her new friends wanted to hear.
Reina cleared her throat and continued. “Besides, from what I hear, most of them are too busy for fucking anyway.”
“Oh? Where did you hear that?” Kari stole some of the remaining popcorn.
Reina leaned back on her arms. “I once slept with such an actress.”
Forget the iceberg! The room was a veritable funeral home!
“Whoa!” Yatsumi choked into her hand.
“Are you serious?” Mio looked at her ex for the first time, face pale.
“Dare ka?” Both twins asked at once. “Who the hell was it?”
Even Aiko gave her girlfriend rapt attention. She’s even slept with a takarazuka actress! Reina’s sordid past knew no limits! Next she’ll tell me she’s slept with the prime minister’s wife!
Reina dropped the grin off her face. “Eh? Like I remember her name. It was while there was a show in town here. I met somebody at a bar, and bam, we’re doing it in a love hotel.” She shrugged. “It’s how it goes! She didn’t even tell me she was affiliated with that crap until afterward. Can’t say I cared half as much as you lot.”
Mari looked fit to faint; Kari checked her dropped jaw. “Do you at least remember what she looked like? Short hair? Long hair? For the love of god start there!”
“Eh? It was mid-length?”
Aiko had to laugh. Her girlfriend’s ability to forget the details of half the women she’d slept with was always sure to bite them in the ass.
“Ah, now that I think about it, it wasn’t an actress. She said she worked on the shows, not in them.”
A collective breath exuded from each body at the table. “Like a director or choreographer?” Yatsumi asked.
“No, somebody less important. I think she was a hair stylist.”
Bodies slumped. Aiko admitted that she was also relieved it wasn’t an actress. The jealousy would be outrageous.
Mari sat up. “Wait, was her name Kimiko? Did she have a round face and a mole on her nose?”
Reina tilted her head. “Yeah, I think so. Why? Is she somebody famous?”
“Uwaa! You slept with my friend!”
“Is your friend famous?”
“Hardly!”
Back in everyone’s good graces, Reina let her sexual history slide into obscurity while the group went back to watching the musical. Aiko shook her head, unable to concentrate on high kicks and dips anymore. What would I do if one of these actresses tried to seduce me? Probably the same thing she did when Reina first seduced her: melt.
Toward the end of the show Mio became restless in her bid to never look at Reina. As a mercy nobody commented on it, although Aiko would dare say one of the twins chewed on the inside of her cheek in bitter desire to say something. Aiko had half a mind to whisper a suggestion that Reina go upstairs and wait for everyone to leave. Especially after she polished the popcorn and asked Aiko to make some more.
Before she could refuse with an agitated groan, the phone rang.
Aiko’s blood turned as cold as the returning iceberg.
“Should I get it?” Reina asked. “I have no idea who it could be, though. Not at this hour.”
Aiko knew who it could be.
“No, I’ll get it.” She stood slowly, the world spinning around her as she went out into the hallway in denial of what she knew. The phone sat atop an antique nightstand like an ominous lump of coal. “Moshi moshi? Takeuchi desu.”
The ensuing seconds of silence did not bode well. Then, the old, rasping voice. “Aiko. Are you busy?”
Never before had her own mother’s voice sent shivers down her spine. She peered into the living area and considered telling her mother to piss off. “Not so busy. What is it?” Please don’t go there, please don’t go there.
Thankfully, her mother did not press the matters of the past. Although her voice remained curt and to the point, she merely asked Aiko to come visit next week to go through some old things. When they hung up, Aiko heaved an aching sigh.
The movie was over by the time she reentered the living area. Reina looked at her with furtive eyes, dissembling who had called. She knows it was my mother.
Yatsumi caught the glimpse between them. “Is all well, Aiko-san?”
Sitting down again, Aiko debated whether or not to say anything. In the end she made an off-hand comment about coming out to her mother a week before. Reina grunted in displeasure.
That started a conversation about parents and their reactions to their gay children, assuming they knew. The twins claimed their parents were blissfully ignorant of their daughters’ lives; Yatsumi said her mother knew and had gotten used to the idea a while ago; Reina mumbled something about her own mother being an asshole who lived in her own world. Mio was the only one who said nothing for a long while.
“My mother completely disowned me a few years ago,” she finally said in a whisper.
The only ones who did not gasp in dismay were Reina, who must have already known, and Yatsumi, who patted Mio on the knee. Aiko managed to stutter a reaction. “Kawai sou, Mio-san.” She shuddered. Would that be her someday?
“It was a while ago. I’ve moved on.” Mio cleared her throat. “I’ve moved on from a lot.”
One second later, Reina got up and excused herself from the room.
She was not there when the meeting disbanded, nor did she show up when the others said their farewells and departed. The twins left first, followed by Yatsumi, who guided a dazed Mio outside into the warm summer’s night.
Reina was upstairs, lying on the bed and flipping through an old magazine. When she heard Aiko come in she put it down and gave her a wary look. “Are they gone?” she asked.
Aiko nodded. “That wasn’t so bad. Especially with…you know who.”
For a moment Reina said nothing. Then, “I’d almost forgotten about it.”
“Forgotten about what?”
Reina returned to the magazine. Aiko noticed it was upside down. “When her mother disowned her because of me.”
Aiko remained speechless for a long time.
Since her gut proclaimed it fortuitous, Reina resumed her “early to work, early to get promoted” stance the following week. It suited her, for although her girlfriend’s mother had not invaded their lives again, Friday night left a bad taste in her mouth. I hadn’t seen Mio in years. Not since their breakup. After that, all Reina heard was that her ex focused her energy on feminism and queer visibility as opposed to haunting bars and nightclubs.
Work provided the relief from that. Reina continued to show up early, and every morning Kimura was there with a cup of hot coffee waiting for her. He would stand off to the side, cleaning, but stealing glances in her direction as she drank and worked. He also continued to try and start multiple conversations with her, but every time he would get slightly personal he clammed up and asked her
to forget it. The greatest moment was when Reina arrived Wednesday morning to coffee and a long-stemmed white carnation adorning her desk. She stared at the flower as if it would bite her.
Something pinged inside her brain – something that she felt she should know, or at least assume. But what was it? Reina sipped her coffee and sat down. She picked up the flower and smelled it, recoiling at the sweet fragrance. The only place to put it was in her desk.
She spent the entire morning wondering what was off about the flower.
Before lunch, the section chief hovered near her and Suzuki, gazing upon them with a critical eye – yet every time he focused his attention on Reina he smiled a little, an auspicious gesture she took as meaning she was in favor. No offense, Suzuki, but this promotion is in my bag.
And after lunch, when everyone returned from their meals and Kimura carefully brought out another cup of coffee for Reina, the section chief asked to see her in his office.
“Have a seat,” he said the moment she stepped inside. Reina bowed and quietly closed the door behind her. The short trek to the desk made her more nervous than her first day of junior college. “The decision has been made about the promotion.”
Anticipation exploded in Reina’s veins. This is it. All her hard work was about to pay off – literally. This is it! She had to force the suspense from showing on her face. Instead she shoved her folded hands in her lap.
“First, I want to commend you on your obvious dedication these past couple of weeks.” The section chief devolved into a long spiel about work ethic, the history of the company, and what it meant to be a team player for a bright future. He sounds like the company brochure. He pointed out specifics of Reina’s credit, such as her showing up to work early every day and doing twice the amount of work expected of her. “You are an example among examples, Yamada. That said, the promotion is going to Suzuki.”
Reina wasn’t sure she heard that right. Did he just… She almost swore he commended her more than anyone else had in her life, and then bashed her over the head with a vase! “Excuse me, sir?”
“Doubtless, you have put in more hours and work than Suzuki. But it cannot be helped. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Suzuki will be getting married soon, and he’ll need to provide for his new family.”
Blinking, Reina struggled to maintain a neutral demeanor. All she could do was bow her head in acquiescence.
“There will be other promotion opportunities in the near future. You are dismissed.”
Reina returned to work with the motions of a robot. No longer did she push herself to get through it as efficiently as possible – especially after Suzuki was called into the section chief’s office. She tried to convince herself that the result was still fair: after all, Suzuki was her equal in terms of experience and seniority. And the section chief was right regarding Suzuki’s marriage. Once his darling Atsuko married him, she would become a housewife and he the breadwinner. It was only natural in such situations. As far as the company knew, Reina was a single woman taking care of herself.
Aiko. She had told her she didn’t need to get a job; that she could provide for them on her own salary. After a promotion.
Mild celebrations were called for at the end of work when Suzuki was able to announce his good news. His friends cheered him on and gave him more pats on the back. Reina remained at her desk, trying not to show her disdain.
“Yamada,” Suzuki said, approaching her. “I have to say that I’m really surprised I got this promotion…I was sure it would go to you. Everyone knows you work more than me!”
She wouldn’t contest that.
“No hard feelings?” He bowed.
Whatever. “Yeah, no hard feelings.”
When it was time to leave, Reina fished for her belongings, slamming the drawers on her desk and fighting with the clasp on her briefcase. She found the white carnation in the top drawer and snatched it up. She could give it to Aiko as an apology for not getting the promotion.
Most of her coworkers had already left by the time she reached the elevator. Behind her, Kimura locked the double-doors to the office and joined her the moment the elevator reopened. They stepped in together, Reina’s carnation twirling in her hand.
Kimura cleared his throat. “I like your flower, Yamada-senpai.”
“Thanks. Somebody left it on my desk.”
“An admirer?”
Reina hadn’t thought of that. Gross! “I guess.”
The elevator lurched downward as Reina’s stomach lurched upward. What a day. First she lost her promotion, and now she had a secret admirer. What was a lesbian to do? Get drunk and fuck. Thank goodness she was going home.
When Aiko entered her natal home, anxious that it may be the last time, she was greeted with a familiar face.
“Buri buri.” Ren held his two fists up, lips smacking as he stood at the edge of the genkan. “Buri!”
“Eh?” Aiko slid the door shut behind her and slipped out of her sandals. “Ren-kun, what are you doing here?”
“Buri!”
“There you are!” Shizuka popped out of the living area, moving swiftly for a woman on the verge of childbirth. She lifted her son into her arms and regarded Aiko with a smile. “And there you are. Your mother’s been babbling about you all day.”
Aiko found her old pair of house slippers and put them on before stepping into the hallway. “She has?” What has she been telling people? At least Shizuka already knew about the whole lesbian thing.
Shizuka said nothing, besides assuring her son she would get him his pacifier, and led the way into the living area.
It appeared that Shizuka and her son were not the only other guests there that day. Sitting at the center table was Eri, Aiko’s ten-year-old niece. She looked up from her summer vacation homework. “There you are!” Eri’s pen clattered to the table, her body contorting like a gymnast’s.
Aiko stood a meter away. “Yes. Here I am. Apparently I was being waited for.”
Eri flipped to the front of her book. “I need you to help me with my English homework. Everyone says you know English, Auntie Aiko.”
At the sound of Aiko’s voice and name, Junko emerged from the kitchen, a pleasant visage bellowing beneath her usually stoic face. “What do you say, Eri-chan?”
The little girl clapped her hands together in a dramatic rendition of Japanese manners. “Onegaishimasu!” she begged.
Aiko was more than obliged to help her niece with her English homework. Only a year earlier she had graduated with a degree in English Communications, focusing on literature and translations. Compared to that, Eri’s homework was almost as easy as reciting the ABCs. All she had to do was take simple sentences and insert her own nouns.
As Aiko instructed her niece on the differences between “bowl” and “bowel,” Ren wandered into the room and climbed on Aiko’s back. Giggling, she pulled him into her lap and hugged him, his round body melding into hers. His much-desired pacifier twirled in circles.
“Ai-chan,” Junko sang, coming into the living area with a floral apron tied around her waist, “I’m so glad you’re here now. We have a guest coming soon I’d like you to meet.”
She wondered what that stupid smile on her mother’s face was for. Has denial completely infected her? “What guest?”
“Oh, never you mind. It has to do with my friend.” Junko bent down to pat Ren’s head. “You’re so natural with children! If I didn’t know better, I would say these were your kids!”
Aiko blushed at the thought. Long ago she wanted children of her own, or at least assumed she would have them, but falling in love with and deciding to be with Reina had changed those matters.
Shizuka arrived from the toilet to offer her son to Aiko. After receiving a polite refusal, Shizuka mumbled to herself about shotgun marriages and took her son upstairs. That left Aiko with her niece, who released a battle cry the moment she completed her homework. She thanked her aunt and packed up her things. As a reward, Junko let her turn on the TV to watch anime.
More minutes passed with Aiko sitting and wondering why she was there. Her mother mentioned something about picking up items, but Aiko already had everything she wanted and needed at her new house. Junko came out during a commercial break and asked Eri to go upstairs with her cousins. Whining, the little girl did as told, turning off the TV and taking her pink bag of belongings with her.
Junko went to work cleaning off the table and picking up crumbs off the floor by hand. When Aiko offered to help her, she was rebuffed – politely. Almost too politely. What is going on? Maybe Aiko hadn’t gotten used to being a guest in her old home yet. Although whenever her older siblings came home to visit, they were never turned down on an offer to help clean. But Junko remained adamant that her daughter sit at the table and rest beneath the air conditioner.
Soon enough, Aiko learned what was going on.
The doorbell rang, drawing Junko out of the living area with a bounce in her step. Voices wafted from the front hallway and into the closed off room Aiko sat in. Her throat clenched at the sound of a man’s voice.
No.
Junko barged back into the living room, an older woman and a younger man trailing behind. Although taken aback, the man and the woman exchanged basic pleasantries with Aiko.
“Sit! Sit!” Junko gestured to the other side of the table. “I will get some tea.”
The woman, whose hair was recently dyed dark brown, sat in the formal style with her legs beneath her. The man, who looked around the room with youthful eyes, sat cross-legged. Both of them smiled in Aiko’s direction.
As promised, Junko returned with the tea and served everyone, including her daughter.
“Aiko,” she said, “I would like you to meet Mrs. Youko Nakajima and her son, Kenji.”
Trapped by the chains of cordiality, Aiko plastered on a pleasant demeanor and formally bowed her head. “Pleasure to meet you,” she said again. “My name is Aiko Takeuchi.”
Youko and Kenji bowed back at her, the mother raising her head before the son. She had a large, plump face bedecked with sun spots, but her eyes twinkled and the curls in her hair bounced in playfulness. He likewise had his mother’s split chin and detached ears, although he was thinner and had tasteful hair. When Kenji smiled, his cheeks collapsed into deep dimples that Aiko had never seen on a man before. It almost kept her attention. Meanwhile, I look awful. She had thrown on a brown skirt and thin cotton blouse to combat the heat, but had sweat through both. Her own hair coiled from its bun, greasy.
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