by Roddy Doyle
–Do we want the girls? Jimmy asked.
They did.
–They could give us a rest, said Derek.—They could sing a few slowies. For the oul’ ones.
–An’ the young ones.
–That’s the lot though, righ’, said Jimmy.—No fuckin’ politics this time either.—But, yeh know, Joey said when he left tha’ he didn’t think soul was righ’ for Ireland. This stuff is though. You’ve got to remember tha’ half the country is fuckin’ farmers. This is the type o’ stuff they all listen to.—Only they listen to it at the wrong speed.
–We’ll put them righ’ though, wha’. Play it again, Jimmy, will yeh.
–Will we have names? Derek asked.
–Ah Jaysis, no, said Jimmy.—Not tha’ shi’e again. This is different.
Outspan agreed with him.
–Would yis mind, said Mickah,—if I had a bit of a name?
–Wha’?
–Tex.
They laughed. They liked it.
–Tex Wallace.—It sounds righ’, doesn’t it? Said Mickah.
Jimmy was putting the needle down when he thought of something else.
–Oh yeah, he said.—We don’t have a name.—
Anny ideas?
–Well, said Derek.—Yeh know the way they’re The Byrds an’ Bird is another name for a girl, righ’?—Couldn’t we be The Brassers?
It was a great name.
–Dublin country, said Jimmy.—That’s fuckin’ perfect. The Brassers.—We’re a Dublin country group.
–That’s an excellent name, Derek, said Outspan.
–Ah—I just thought of it, yeh know.
Jimmy put the needle back on its stand.
–Another thing I forgot to tell yis.—I was in touch with your man, Dave, from Eejit Records, remember? I asked him would he be interested in a country-punk version o’ Nigh’ Train, an’ he said he migh’ be.
–That’s brilliant, said Derek.
–Hang on, said Mickah.
–STARTIN’ OU’ IN MULLINGAR
MOVIN’ ON OU’ TO KINNEGAD—
Somethin’ like tha’?
–That’s very good, said Jimmy.
They laughed.
–That’s very good, alrigh’, said Outspan.—I like tha’. Fair play.
Jimmy had the needle ready.
–Righ’, lads, give us a month an’ this’ll be us.
He let the needle down.
–Deadly, said Derek.
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