by Amber Garza
After dinner Dr. Vega waves down the waiter and asks for the check. My shoulders visibly relax. Mrs. Vega stands, pushing away from the table. “C’mon, Lola, let’s get the car from the valet. Let the boys talk while they wait for the check.”
My stomach twists. Lola gives me a wary look, but I nod at her to let her know that it’s fine. Only I’m not sure that it is. Why do I feel like this is some sort of setup?
Once the women leave, I glance up at Dr. Vega’s smug face and know that it is. I sit forward waiting for the inevitable.
“So, Ryker.”
I snort. “Glad you finally figured out my name.”
“Oh, I know a lot more than just your name, son.” Dr. Vega leans forward, his eyes darkening. “I know all about you. You see I have friends in all sorts of occupations. So I had a little background check on you. And do you know what I found out?”
Yes, I do.
“I found out that you’re not really the person my daughter thinks you are. Right, Ryan?”
Hot and cold flashes rip up and down my spine. So the whole Ryan thing wasn’t a mistake. It was calculated. Dr. Vega has found out the secret I’ve spent years hiding. I sit still as if frozen in place. All the air leaves me, and I’m momentarily dizzy. I feel both sickened and free at the same time.
“I know the entire story, son, so there’s no reason to keep up the charade any longer.” Dr. Vega sits forward, tenting his fingers in front of him. “Here’s the deal. If you break it off with Lola, then your secret is safe with me. If you insist on continuing to date her, I’ll make sure she knows the whole sordid tale.”
My body starts to shake, as sweat trails down my spine. Bile rises in my throat, and my stomach rolls. Taking a deep breath, I regain composure and lift my eyes to meet Dr. Vega’s. I nod, knowing exactly what I have to do. There really is no other choice.
28
Lola
I descend on Ryker the minute he and my dad exit the restaurant. The whole time Mom and I waited, my nerves were completely frayed. I wasn’t born yesterday, so I know Mom’s whole plan to get the cars was just a ruse for dad to talk alone with Ryker. Only why? What did he say to him? Ryker’s face is pinched and pale. My stomach tightens. I grab his hand and thread my fingers through his, but he stays stiff at my side.
My dad’s face is smug, and I narrow my eyes at him wondering what he said to upset Ryker. Anger courses through my veins. My parents have been horrible all evening. I just want to get the hell out of here. Gratefully, I see the valet pulling up with Ryker’s car.
“Thanks for dinner,” I say to Mom and Dad, my voice tight. Then I yank Ryker toward his car. Once inside, I heave a sigh of relief. When he pulls silently away from the curb, I can’t help but notice the warning look my dad shoots him. What is going on?
“I’m so sorry about my parents,” I say. The air is bitter cold even in the car, and I rub my hands together in an effort to get warm.
“It’s fine.” His voice is strained and he keeps his face forward, staring out at the stream of light spilling from his headlights.
I glance out the window at the pitch black sky with only the brightly lit restaurants and shops breaking through the darkness. “What happened when Mom and I left to get the cars?”
Ryker presses his lips together, but doesn’t respond. His knuckles whiten as he grips tightly to the steering wheel. Fear snakes around my heart.
“Ryker?” I speak tentatively. “What happened? Please tell me.”
A stream of air pushes past his lips. “Lola, I will. I’ll tell you everything. Let’s just go somewhere that we can talk. I don’t want to do this while I’m driving.”
I nod, alarmed by his words. What could have happened that was so bad? I mean, I assumed dad was just being a jerk or giving Ryker some warning about not hurting his daughter or something. But the way Ryker is acting makes me suspect that it was something more; maybe even something sinister.
By the time he pulls into the parking lot of his apartment, I feel like I’m on the verge of a panic attack. He doesn’t utter a word until we are safely in his room with the door closed. Bracing for the worst, I sink down on the edge of his bed cradling my hands in my lap. My gaze flickers to his walls which are covered in rock n’ roll posters, bands I don’t know. His dresser is littered with CD’s, an ipod sits in the corner. There is a faraway look on Ryker’s face as he runs a hand through his hair. A strand gets caught on his finger and when he releases it, it sticks up crudely from his head like a horn.
“I haven’t told you everything about me, Lola.”
His words stop me cold, my heart freezing. I want to say something, but I seem to have lost the ability to speak.
His face is pained as he rests his back against the wall near the door. It’s almost like he’s scared to be near me. This terrifies me further. He angles his head toward the ceiling, the back of his head hitting the wall. “My real name is Ryan Walters.”
I recoil from the force of his words. “What?”
His gaze is still trained up at the ceiling. Neither of us makes any attempt to move from our spots. “My dad is Rufus Walters. He was quite a bit older than my mom when they started dating. And she fell for him hard. My parents lived in New York when I was conceived. My dad ran with a pretty rough crowd, but my mom didn’t realize just how bad until after I was born. That’s when she found that my dad was involved in a local gang. When I was just two years old, he was arrested for multiple murders and sentenced to life without parole.” Ryker pauses a minute, and I force myself to breathe, realizing that I’d been holding my breath as he spoke. “At that point my mom moved here and changed my name. Collins is my mom’s last name. She decided on Ryker because she always called me Ry. This way she could keep calling me that.” Finally a smile breaks through, reminding me of the Ryker I fell in love with. “Besides, she said that even then she knew I would one day be a rockstar. I loved music from the time I was born. She figured Ryker sounded like a rockstar name.”
“Why Seattle? Did your mom have relatives here or something?”
Ryker nods. “Yeah, an aunt. My mom’s parents disowned her when she got with my dad. She ran away to be with him. He was an adult, but she was only seventeen when she had me.” He chuckles gruffly. “We’ve grown up together, I guess you could say.”
It finally all makes sense. “So, is that the real reason you’ve never slept with anyone?”
Ryker’s eyes lock with mine, a sad smile passing over his lips. “Yeah, sort of. I mean, my dad ruined my mom’s life. She was a mom at such a young age. I never wanted to risk that, you know? So I made a vow at a young age to wait until I was with the person that I was certain I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”
My heart jumps in my chest, knowing he’s talking about me. It feels like the greatest honor in the world. Like a precious gift we can one day share in together. At times I’ve been embarrassed about being a virgin, but at this moment, I’m so glad. I stand up, my legs wobbly. “You’ve kept this a secret all these years?”
Ryker nods, looking over at me. “I’ve had to. Not just to keep us safe, but also because I don’t want anyone to know. The only people I’ve told are Beckett and Pierce. Well…and Fiona.”
“Who’s Fiona?” Lola narrows her eyes.
“My ex-girlfriend. She was a singer, and she was enamored with me because I was in a band. Beckett and I have known Fiona since we were kids, so when we got together she had been under the impression that my dad had been a rockstar. I didn’t ever really correct her. After we’d been together for awhile I told her about my dad. I thought she loved me, you know?” He laughs bitterly. “But she didn’t. She went after Beckett, tried to seduce him.”
“Oh, no.” I gasp, clamping a hand over her mouth.
“Yeah. So, that’s why I’ve kept it to myself. I didn’t want to lose you that way too. I thought I loved Fiona until I met you. Now I really know what love is. It was so hard when I lost Fiona, but it would kill me to lose you.�
�
“I’m sorry, Ryker.” I don’t know what else to say. “What made you finally tell me tonight?”
“Your dad forced my hand, actually. He did some digging and found out the whole story.”
“What?” The familiar anger I feel toward my parents’ surfaces. “Why would he do that?” I take another step toward Ryker. I want to touch him, to hold him, but he seems skittish, like a dangerous wild animal.
“Because he wants me to break up with you. He told me that if I walked away from you then my secret was safe, but if I stayed with you then he would tell you all about me.”
“Ryker, I’m so sorry. He never should’ve done that to you.” I bridge the gap between us and reach for him. “God, I could kill him.”
His eyes widen in shock. “You’re mad at him? Not me?”
“Why would I be mad at you?” I peer up at him in wonder.
“I kept something from you. I lied to you about who I am, Lola”
I reach up and touch his face. “No, you didn’t. I know exactly who you are. I don’t care that you were born with a different name. This is the person you are. You’re Ryker Collins. The most kind and gentle person I know. You’re sexy and super talented. But more importantly, you’re the man I love.”
“But my dad was a horrible person. He’s a sociopath. A murderer. And I have his blood pumping through my veins.”
“You’re not anything like your dad. Hell, you don’t even know him. You’re a product of your mom, and she’s wonderful.” I trail my fingertips down his cheek and over his jawline. “I hate that my dad brought all this doubt and worry into your mind. I hate that he brought this up at all. But I’m so glad that you didn’t break up with me. I’m glad you told me.”
Ryker studies me a minute, his brow furrowed. Then his hands slide up and rest at my waist. “I’m glad too. I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I was scared. Already I don’t fit into your plan, Lola. I’m not a doctor or lawyer. I may never have any money or be able to give you the life you want. I didn’t want to admit to you that I also am the son of a murdering gangster.”
A thought strikes me. “Are you scared that he’ll find you?”
Ryker shakes his head. “I used to worry about it a little. But he’s in prison, and he’s never getting out. Mom assures me that we’re safe. All of his friends are in prison too. And there’s really no reason for any of them to care about us. Especially not now. Besides, even when they were together Mom wasn’t privy to anything that he did. He kept her out of the loop. I guess I should be grateful to him for that. Sometimes I wonder if that was his way of loving her.”
“The whole thing must have been so terrible for her,” I say, thinking about how sweet and kind Dana is. I can’t even imagine her being with a guy like that.
Ryker pulls me even closer. “Thank you, Lola.”
“For what?” I rest my hand on his chest.
“For being so understanding about all this. I know it’s a lot to take in.”
I shake my head. “Ryker, you’ve been so great to me, and you’ve helped me through so much. I’m actually honored to be able to finally be here for you this time.”
“I love you, beautiful.” He lifts my chin and leans in close. I move even closer until our lips meet.
“I love you too.” I kiss him, breathing in the feel and taste of him. “And I really am sorry about what my parents put you through tonight. I can’t even believe they did that. I mean, I knew they didn’t want us together, but this is ridiculous.”
“Maybe it was a blessing in disguise.” Ryker shrugs, his hands still sitting on my waist. “It got us to talk, right?”
“It doesn’t matter. It was still a shitty thing to do.” I grunt in frustration. “Besides, they didn’t even try to get to know you, and that bothers me the most, I think. I’ve dated some real jerks, and just because they were aspiring doctors or something my parents liked them. You are the best guy I’ve ever been with, and they’re too clouded by greed and money to see that.”
“The best guy you’ve been with, huh?” Ryker cocks a half smile.
“By far,” I say. Then I sigh. “Tomorrow my parents are leaving, but we’re going to breakfast first. I plan to have a little chat with them about all this.”
Ryker squeezes me. “No. Please don’t. This isn’t your battle.”
“Like hell it isn’t.”
“Lola, you don’t have to do this.” Concern etches his face.
“Ryker.” I push away from him and turn around. “I’m not so fragile that you have to worry I’ll break at any minute. I’m strong enough to stand up to my parents.”
“I just worry about you, Lola.” He comes up behind me, circling his arms around my waist. “You’re doing so well with your therapy and everything, and I just don’t want them to mess that up.”
I lean back, resting against his strength. “I won’t. I promise.”
“You want me to come with?”
I shake my head. “I think it would be best if you didn’t.”
“Okay, I’ll stay out of it on one condition.” He grabs me by the shoulders and spins me to face him. “You have to call me if you can’t handle it.”
I nod. “Deal.”
My nerves are frayed as I step into the restaurant. Sweeping my gaze around, I don’t see my parents. My stomach is in knots, and I jiggle my legs in an effort to remain calm. The hostess is leading a couple to a table. The restaurant is loud. Voices and the clanging of dishes pour over me and swell around me, a sweeping crescendo.
“Hey,” Star sidles up next me.
I turn to her. “What are you doing here?”
“Ryker texted me. He told me what you planned to do.”
“He did?”
She links arms with me, holding me close. I rest against her, grateful for the support. “It’s not that he didn’t think you could handle it. He just didn’t want you to be alone.”
I smile. As much as I wanted to do this by myself, I’m glad Star is here.
“There you are, Lola.” Mom appears before me, her eyes puffy, her face drawn. Her gaze flicks to Star. “Oh, hi, Star. I didn’t realize you would be here.” Dad walks up, his dress shoes clicking on the floor, his expensive cologne overpowering the room. His dark hair is slicked back with gel, his dark eyes hard.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Vega,” Star says. “Good to see you again.”
Mom’s eyes rove over Star’s body. “I see you’re still dressing the same.”
“Yep,” Star says emphatically. “Still like my comfy jeans.”
“Let’s get a table. What’s taking the hostess so long?” Dad looks around impatiently.
“I’m actually not that hungry,” I say. Star squeezes my upper arm, encouraging me. I’m so nervous, my body quivers.
“What?” Mom’s eyes widen.
“I thought we were having breakfast,” Dad says, a sour look cloaking his face.
A couple pushes past us, a toddler in tow. “Um…no, actually I just stopped by to say something to you before you headed back home.” I pause, swallowing hard. “Ryker told me what happened last night, Dad.”
“Oh, did he now?” Dad wears a smug expression. “Well, he must not have told you everything if you’re still calling him Ryker.”
“I know he was born with the name Ryan, Dad,” I speak through gritted teeth. Star still hangs on to me, and I’m so appreciative. I feel like I might fall over at any second. “I know all about his dad too. But his name was legally changed to Ryker Collins, and that’s who he is. Ryker is the most loving, kind, loyal man I have ever known. He treats me so much better than any of my previous boyfriends, especially Nolan. But you don’t care about any of that, do you? All you care about is the fact that he’s a struggling musician.”
“You’re making a scene, Lola. Keep your voice down,” Dad hisses, glancing around.
“Yes, Lola, you’re being awfully dramatic,” Mom adds, c
lucking her tongue in disapproval.
I snort. “Oh, are you two worried that everyone will figure out what horrible parents you are? Too late. I think most people know. You don’t care about me. You have no idea the stress you have put me under. Ryker is the best thing in my life. He and Star are the only people I can count on. So stay the hell away from both of them. And don’t ever threaten Ryker again. I’m going to be with him whether you like it or not. He’s good to me, and he makes me happy.”
Star nods, pride evident in her eyes. It gives me strength to hold my head high, to continue on regardless of the consequences.
29
Ryker
I let out an audible sigh of relief when Lola texts to say that breakfast with her parents ended and she’s on her way over. I’ve been worried about her all morning. Now that I’ve met them I see just how formidable they can be. I should’ve insisted on going. I shouldn’t have taken no for an answer. Then again, I don’t want her to think that I don’t trust her or that I don’t believe she is capable of doing anything on her own. It’s important to me that she knows she has me in her corner, since clearly her parents don’t give her the support she needs. Although it does give me some relief to know that Star is with her. At least she’s not alone.
When she arrives, she wears a giant grin on her face, her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are bright with excitement. Honestly, it’s not what I was expecting, and it throws me a little.
“I did it, Ryker. I did it,” she says in a rush of breathless words as she flies into my arms. “I totally stood up to them. You should’ve seen me.”
When I release her, she starts untying the belt on her thick black jacket. After peeling it off she discards it haphazardly on the couch. I’m amazed at the whole display. This is a new side of Lola. Definitely one I haven’t seen before.
“Hey, you two.” Pierce emerges from his room, still in his pajama pants and wrinkled t-shirt he wears to bed. His hair is messy and kinked.