Revenge of the Wrought-Iron Flamingos ml-3

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Revenge of the Wrought-Iron Flamingos ml-3 Page 21

by Donna Andrews


  "You're crazy" Tad said.

  "Hey, you said yourself that the intruder could be a souvenir hunter – have you seen my sales today?" I asked. "And my iron was only at the scene of the crime, not made by the hand of the actual suspect. Maybe fifty percent's not enough; maybe we should double everything."

  "I think fifty percent should do fine," Tad said, chuckling.

  He cheered up a bit while we did the marking, and by the time we'd finished, he obviously felt much happier. Of course, I had no idea how much of his improved mood came from my promise that 1 was going to do everything I could to catch the real murderer.

  While we were marking things, I uncovered something that gave me pause. A large key – it had to be one of the keys to the padlock on the stocks. Had Faulk kept a key? Or was this what the intruder had come to find? Or to plant?

  Tad didn't even blink when he saw me holding the key. I waited until he wasn't looking, then tucked it into my haversack.

  "With you on his trail, that poor killer hasn't a chance," Tad said, as we put away the pens and price tags.

  "Maybe," I said, taking a deep breath. "But before I go off chasing the killer, I want you to level with me. Who were you with the night of the murder?"

  "Oh, damn, not you, too," Tad said, slumping. "That damned deputy had to say just enough in front of Faulk to make him think the worst, and it's all perfectly innocent, not to mention having nothing to do with the murder."

  "Convince me," I said.

  "Okay," he said. "You probably won't believe me, but I was meeting my brother."

  "Your brother? Tad, I thought you told me you were an only child. And an orphan."

  "I lied," he said. "My dad's gone, but my mother's still around, and I have two brothers, three sisters, and lord knows how many aunts and uncles. I hadn't seen any of them in seven years, until my brother came down here to meet me last night."

  "What happened? Seven years ago, I mean."

  "I don't know," he said. "When I came out, they didn't handle it well. Then again, maybe I didn't give them much time to figure out how to handle it. The whole thing was a mess. So when I got out of college, I didn't give any of them my address, and I rewrote my autobiography. I know that sounds tacky."

  "Maybe," I said. "But I found out recently that when we were in high school, both Rob and I had recurring fantasies about finding out we'd been switched at birth in the hospital, and that our rich, glamorous, normal, real parents would show up any day to claim us."

  "You?" Tad exclaimed. "Why? I mean, your family's fantastic."

  "Try growing up with them," I said. "So, yeah, maybe what you did was tacky, but I understand. What made you change your mind?"

  "I don't know. Maybe it's being with Faulk – family's so important to him, even though he doesn't get along that well with his. I sort of got homesick for mine, and I contacted one of my brothers. Only then I couldn't figure out how to tell Faulk. That's why I arranged to meet my brother at a coffee shop in town. I figured if it worked out, I'd tell Faulk and introduce them tomorrow. Only with the murder and everything…"

  He shook his head.

  "And Faulk doesn't know this yet?"

  "No, I can't get in to see him till visiting hours tomorrow. Unless your brother can arrange to get him out on bail, which may not be possible. We're having trouble scraping up the deposit."

  "We'll take up a collection at the fair tomorrow," I said. "I can't imagine anyone who knows Faulk thinking he's a murderer; and if they do think it, they'd better not let me know they do."

  "Thanks," he said, sounding relieved.

  "And speaking of tomorrow, we'd both better turn in."

  "Do you think it would help if I staged a protest?" Tad asked, as we turned to leave the booth. "I could put on my runaway-slave outfit and chain myself to the steps in protest. I bet I could generate a lot of publicity."

  "I don't think Faulk wants publicity," I said. "I think he wants bail and a good lawyer."

  "You're probably right," he said, with a sigh.

  "There is one thing you can do," I said. "It might help Faulk, although I can't make any promises."

  "Anything," he said. "You name it."

  "Find out exactly what Monty did on the Canton PD," I said. I gave him Monty's full name, and the approximate date he'd arrived in Yorktown.

  "I'll start as soon as we get back to camp," he promised. "I've got my whole computer setup in the van."

  Back at the tent, I tried to work up a show of enthusiasm for the coming battle, but I didn't think I was fooling Michael. He didn't remember whether the key had been in the booth when he'd been minding it, but then I didn't expect him to.

  Fortunately, he seemed as exhausted as I was, and didn't try to reopen the discussion on the state of our relationship. He fell asleep almost immediately, while I tossed and turned, trying to put the pieces of the day together in some fashion that wouldn't end with Faulk being arrested. And trying to think what I could do tomorrow to set things right.

  I doubt if Michael appreciated it when I finally couldn't stand it any longer and dug out my cell phone to make a late-night phone call and fix the one thing I could do something about.

  "It's past midnight," he mumbled. "Who on Earth are you calling?"

  "The jail," I said. "Hello, who's this? Hey, Fred. Is Horace there? Okay, what about Ricky? Great, could I talk to him?"

  "Why are you calling the jail?" Michael asked.

  "I need to get a message to Faulk," I said, covering the mouthpiece. "I don't want him thinking the worst all night. Hello, Ricky? Hi, it's Meg. Look, could you do me a favor?"

  "You don't really think you can talk the police into giving a prisoner a message at this time of night, do you?"

  "You know the prisoner Monty brought in? Right. Could you tell him something? I know, but Monty did something just to upset him, and I want to clear things up. Yeah, I agree, a total jerk. Just tell him that Monty wasn't straight with him; Tad's alibi was really his brother. Yeah, can you believe it? The man's a slime ball."

  "I can't believe you actually talked him into it," Michael said.

  "Thanks, Ricky. Give my love to Aunt Alice. Good-bye."

  "Another cousin," Michael said, as I put away the cell phone. "Is there anyone in Yorktown who's not your cousin?"

  "I'm not claiming Wesley," I said. "Or Monty either, for that matter."

  "Just hope he doesn't come around to claim you've interfered with his investigation," Michael grumbled.

  "He'll never find out," I said.

  At least I hoped not.

  The next morning was Michael's turn to rise at dawn and attempt the feat of getting dressed in a two-person tent without waking the other person. He didn't succeed either, of course, and by the time he finally went outside to deal with his boots and weapons, I'd given up hope of getting back to Asleep and was only trying to figure out why he had to be up so early, anyway. We still had several hours until I had to be at the craft fair, and the battle didn't start till three.

  Well, if I couldn't sleep, I could make good use of the time. I rummaged through die clutter until I found my cell phone. Then I curled up in the sleeping bag and spent the next hour calling relatives and neighbors to ask if they could lend me any ironwork they'd bought from me. Most agreed, and promised to drop the stuff off at my booth. Since I hardly had enough stock left to sell, I planned to put tags on the borrowed stuff saying "FOR DISPLAY ONLY; ORDER NOW FOR DELIVERY BEFORE CHRISTMAS" and see how many more commissions I could score.

  It worked fairly well; I took dozens of orders, and whenever I dashed over to check on how Tad was doing, Faulk's booth was full of customers and increasingly lower on ironwork. The bail fund grew steadily until Mrs. Fenniman came by and offered to put up the balance in return for Faulk making her a gazebo that looked like his booth.

  "Of course, if they convict him, he might not be able to make your gazebo for quite a while," Tad reminded her.

  "If he's convicted, he won't need the b
ooth for quite a while, so you can give me that," she replied. Practical as usual.

  The Anachronism Police had the bit in their teeth and were writing citations right and left. Luckily, my fellow crafters took my word that I'd do something to erase the rapidly mounting fines, so morale was high. Even mine. A night of tossing, turning, and fretting hadn't produced any brainstorms about the murder, but I had come up with a way to handle the fines, and enlisted Tad and my nephew Eric to help me carry it out.

  We didn't see much of the reenactors. Except for Wesley, who strutted by, resplendent in a scarlet British officer's uniform, all the reenactors were busy making last-minute preparations for the battle.

  "And sleeping off the beer, some of them," one soldier's wife told me, shaking her head. "Seems some of the boys must have gotten a little soused and went around playing pranks."

  "Pranks?" I said. "What kind of pranks?" Call me paranoid, but I couldn't help jumping to the conclusion that anything out of the ordinary had to be connected with Benson's murder.

  "Oh, stupid stuff," she said. "Someone going around pilfering stuff – just for the hell of it, as far as we can tell, because most of what was missing wasn't valuable. And this morning all the pilfered stuff has started turning up in places some drunk would think was funny. Like we found one woman's missing stays run up a flagpole and a stolen bayonet stuck in the wall of the privy for a toilet-paper holder. Juvenile stuff like that. So everyone's on edge, expecting to find the missing musket balls in the stew, or maybe someone's stolen long Johns."

  "Must be a Y-chromosome thing," I said, and we both laughed as she wrote a check for the iron pot rack she was ordering.

  "Whoever did it better steer clear of the Royal Welsh Fusiliers," she said, as she turned to go. "Their regimental standard still hasn't turned up, and those boys are hopping mad."

  Maybe that was why Michael hadn't dropped by all morning, I thought. Maybe he was helping soothe frayed tempers and recover purloined items. Or, more likely, maybe he was simply having too much fun marching around in the white-and-gold uniform.

  Two o'clock came, and the crafters who didn't want to see the battle began their loadout, while the rest of us headed out to the battlefields. I lagged behind. If Michael and half the men in my family hadn't been participants, I think I would have gone back to the tent and curled up for a ten-hour nap. I'd-been questioning people all morning, whenever I could steal a moment away from my booth, and I hadn't turned up a single useful bit of information, or thought of a single plan for helping Faulk. To top my mood off, the first person I ran into when I got to the battlefield was Mrs. Waterston.

  "Oh, there you are, Meg," she said, in a voice that implied she'd been searching frantically for me all day.

  "What's up?" I asked, warily.

  "I don't suppose you know where that brother of yours has gone," Mrs. Waterston said.

  "Off to join whatever unit he's fighting in, I should think."

  "Oh – he's fighting?" she said, sounding surprised.

  "Well, he's a man; they're all allowed to fight, no matter how useless they are at it," I grumbled.

  "Bother," she said, without appearing to hear me. "Well, here, you watch him for a while."

  With that, she handed me Spike's leash and sailed off. He looked up and wagged his tail as if glad to see me. I sighed, and decided to find a portapotty before the battle got going. Preferably one that didn't already have fifty people in line, which was how I ended up going back through the rapidly emptying camp to use the relatively out-of-the-way portapotties there.

  When I got out, I looked over at the tree where I'd tied Spike and saw only his leash and his empty collar lying on the ground. He'd escaped again.

  "As soon as this bloody festival is over, I am buying that dog a proper harness," I fumed, turning around to scan the surroundings. "Maybe a straitjacket."

  I strode down the lanes of the camp, calling Spike's name, which was probably a mistake. He might not even want to be found.

  I passed Cousin Horace, who was struggling with a pair of dark blue overalls.

  "Have you seen Spike?" I asked.

  "No. Could you help me with these?" he said.

  "Stand still then."

  He didn't exactly stand still, but at least he stopped wiggling his legs, and I was able to undo the misbuttoned overalls and do them up again properly. Meanwhile, above my head, he was struggling into a coat.

  "There," I said, standing up. "That's a nice uniform, Horace."

  "I'm fighting with the Third Virginia State Legion," Horace said, proudly, turning so I could admire his hunter-green coat.

  "Won't catch me in one of those dandified uniforms," drawled a voice nearby.

  Tony Grimes. Who seemed to have regained some of his courage since fingering Faulk for murder, the rat. Although when I got a little closer, I suspected it was Dutch courage. Hair of the dog.

  He was sitting outside his tent, wearing a filthy set of buckskins, trying to tie the laces of a pair of buckskin shoes, and making a poor job of it.

  "Nice outfit, Tony," I said. "I guess you usually just keep them around for gardening and changing the oil in your truck."

  "Don't forget your hat, soldier," Tony said to Horace. "Madame Von Steuben's on a tear; she's court-martialing anyone who's missing part of his uniform."

  "Oh, dear, where did I leave it?" Horace moaned.

  "If you don't know, go see Mrs. Tranh, quick," I said. "She brought spares of everything, if she hasn't run out."

  "Better hurry," Tony said, as he reached back into his tent for something. "All the redcoats were supposed to be on the field half an hour ago."

  Horace hurried off. I stopped.

  "All the redcoats?" I repeated, under my breath.

  Horace's uniform was green. Bright, hunter green.

  I turned and walked back to Tony. He was struggling to tie a knot in a broken buckskin lace.

  "What did you say?"

  "I just told your wimp of a cousin to hurry," Tony said. "Mrs. Waterston wanted all the redcoats in the redoubt half an hour ago."

  "Only Horace's not a redcoat, you slimy little weasel!" I exclaimed, leaning over, pulling Tony up by die front of his buckskin shirt, and shaking him. "You're colorblind, aren't you?"

  "What difference does that make?" Tony said, trying to pull away.

  "You told Monty the killer was wearing red plaid socks," I said. "How the hell did you know they were red plaid? They could have been green or blue or even purple plaid for all you knew."

  "I'm only red-green colorblind," he said. "I can see most other colors, and I've gotten very good at telling what kind of brown means red and what kind of brown means green."

  "Yeah, you did a great job of matching the color of my flamingos," I said. "Pink's just like red for you, isn't it? And I bet you're a little shaky on anything even close to red or green. Admit it," I snapped, giving him another good shake.

  "Okay, maybe I could be wrong on the color, but they were definitely plaid," he said. "How many people were wearing kilts at that party? Just Faulk."

  "Yeah, but there were plenty of people wearing plaid underneath their costumes," I said. "Plaid shorts, plaid socks, all kinds of things. And the killer could have changed out of his costume by the time he went to my booth. Maybe the killer wasn't even at the party in the first place. It could be anybody, you idiot."

  I let go of his shirt. Okay, I shoved him a little while I was doing it. He landed hard on his backside, then rolled over and scuttled into his tent.

  "It could be anybody," I repeated. I should have felt relieved – surely this would clear Faulk, or at least cast serious doubt on the case against him. Why did I have such a nagging feeling of anxiety?

  Maybe because I was in close proximity to the real murderer. Tony had lied time and again about what he'd done on the night of the murder. Why was Monty so unwilling to consider him as a suspect?

  Well, if Monty wouldn't tackle him, I would.

  "Damned mutt,
" came a mutter from inside Tony's tent.

  Spike scrambled out through the tent flap, dragging a muddy piece of cloth. No, not just a piece of cloth. A British flag. The one stolen from the Royal Welsh Fusiliers, perhaps?

  I bent down and opened the tent flap. The odor hit me first – a mixture of beer, sweat, and vomit, like a frat house. Holding my breath, I peered in to see Tony, sitting on a tangled wad of blankets, gulping something from a bottle wrapped in a paper bag.

  "You want me to take this flag back before they catch you with it?" I asked.

  He raised his head, looked at the flag, and frowned.

  "Damn," he said. "Where'd that come from?"

  "The whole camp was buzzing this morning about a series of daring midnight robberies."

  "Daring midnight robberies?"

  "A flag, a cannonball, some poor woman's stays run up the flagpole."

  "Oh, yeah," he said, with a sickly smile. "That's right. Hell of a prank. But don't tell anyone. You don't want to get us in trouble."

  "Us?"

  "Me and Wes."

  "You and Wes?" I said. "Since when did you guys get to be such buddies? I thought you hated him."

  "He's not so bad," Tony said. "He agreed not to write the article about me. And I apologized for locking him up. So we had a few drinks together."

  Quite a few, from the look of him, but I held my tongue.

  "So all is forgiven and you're friends now."

  "I have to get to the battlefield," he said. He started to sit up, but I shoved him down again. Something bothered me.

  "Tell me one thing, Tony," I said, fishing in my haversack. "And then I'll leave you alone."

  "Yeah, right," he said.

  "What did you do with the key?"

  "What key?"

  "The key to the padlock. This key," I said, holding up the key I'd found in Faulk's booth. "This key. The one you used to lock Wesley in the stocks."

  "I never had that key," he said.

  "Then how'd you lock him in?"

  "It was a padlock, for Pete's sake," Tony said. "You don't need a key; you just snap it shut."

 

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