by Tegan Maher
“Coralee, we’ve been together fifteen years, four months, and sixteen days”—if it weren’t so weird that he knew that, I would have been impressed—“and this has been a long time comin’.” He cleared his throat and scooted a little closer to her. “Will you do me the honor of marryin’ me?”
I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head, then her face broke out in a grin and she started to laugh. “Lordy,” she said, waving a hand at him. “You almost had me there for a minute. You big goof, this is Valentine’s, not April Fools! I thought you were serious ...” her words trailed off when she realized he was still on one knee, and hadn’t so much as cracked a smile. As a matter of fact, he was waiting with bated breath.
Her expression shifted back and forth between a few emotions, then settled on something between panic and horror. “Oh, no, no, no. For the love of god, Buddy, get up! Have you lost your everlovin’ mind?”
“No, Coralee!” he said, earnest as could be. “For the first time since I met you, I’m in my right mind. You’re beautiful and sexy and you make the best fried catfish I’ve ever tasted. And that little thing you do with your—”
Thank the stars, Coralee slapped her hand over his mouth before he could finish that sentence. There are just some things you don’t want to know about your friends. Or anybody.
“Anyways,” he continued, “I ain’t got no fancy ring, but I can get one. The important part is that you say yes!”
She kept staring at him and blinked a couple times as if the train wreck in front of her would fade away. When it didn’t, and he was still on one knee staring at her all calf-eyed, she swatted him on the shoulder and tried to haul all six feet, four inches of him to a standing position. He allowed her to, and she nudged him backward ’til he plopped down in her second barber’s chair.
I studied his enraptured expression and glazed eyes, then sucked in a breath when I realized what was going on: he’d been hit with a love spell.
CHAPTER TWO
“Coralee, you may wanna close up shop for a bit. You’re gonna have to babysit him awhile.”
“What? Why? I can’t just close up shop. I’ve got a full book this afternoon!” She lowered her brows and glared at Buddy.
A sloppy grin spread across his face. “Boy, you sure are purdy when you’re mad, Coralee. Your eyes are all glittery and your cheeks are rosy. You just go ahead and work, and I’ll sit here and drink in your beauty.”
Coralee’s drawn-on brows shot straight up into her hairline. “What the hell’s the matter with him, Noelle?” She waved a hand his direction. “He’s a drooling idiot.”
Buddy turned to me. “Ain’t she just an angel when she’s fired up?”
“I’m not fired up, you nimrod. I’m startin’ to wonder if I need to take you to the ER.” She narrowed her eyes and looked at him closer. “Did you hit your head on something? Is that it?”
I took her by the arm and pulled her to the back. “Buddy, wait right here. We’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be countin’ the minutes,” he said dreamily.
I rolled my eyes. Good lord, this was gonna be a whopper to fix. As I pushed through the door to the storage room, Coralee in tow, my phone buzzed with an incoming text. Then another. And another, and another. “Oh, good grief!” I snatched it out of my pocket and swiped the screen to see what the big emergency was. Oddly enough, they were all from Hunter. When I pulled up his messages, I groaned.
He’d made a picture message using little hearts for the letters and flowers for the background that read I ♡ U. That was actually kind of sweet. Annoying because his ringtone was the Doppler Effect with a motorcycle sound, so I felt kinda like I’d just been buzzed by an entire race team, but sweet.
I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and turned to Coralee. “Buddy’s been hit with some kind of love spell. Where’s he been?”
Whatever she’d been about to say died on her lips. “A love spell?”
“Yeah. Though I have no idea how.” Rumors had floated around town for decades about my family, but only a select few knew for sure we were witches. Coralee was one of them, which was a good thing for us all today because I could work with her rather than around her to fix her overly amorous beau, and do whatever was necessary to keep him occupied until we could figure out how to unflick his love switch.
I peeked out the door to make sure he hadn’t wandered off in search of that big fancy ring and was relieved to see him sitting there, though the longing look on his face as he tried to look past me for a glimpse of Coralee wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for.
Coralee grabbed my arm. “What are we gonna do?” she hissed. “He ain’t gonna be like that forever is he? I mean ... we have an agreement!”
Shifting my weight, I tried to loosen her grip on my arms; those fake nails hurt. “You know as much as I do right now,” I said, rubbing away the half-moon imprints she’d left in my hide. “I was sitting here same as you when he came in that way. What was he supposed to do this morning?”
She shrugged. “No idea. I mean, I know he was goin’ out to Sam McCauley’s to work on that airboat they’ve been buildin’. Can’t imagine he coulda gotten into anything there.”
I sighed. “I was hoping you were going to say he was at least within sight of a woman who may have her sights set on him, but that would have been too easy, I reckon. The only way we’re gonna find out is to ask him. Let’s go. And we should probably get Raeann here, too. She’s the herbalist in the family and knows a whole lot more than I do about potions. Unless I miss my guess, that’s what we’re dealing with.”
She pushed back into the front of the store and Buddy grinned at her like a love-struck teenager while I sent Rae a 911 text. She was at her coffee shop, Brew4U, which was just down the street. I’d barely read her return text before she rushed through the front door, huffing a little. Neither one of us is fat, but that’s due to high-ish metabolisms rather than regular exercise.
“Where is he? I gotta see this!” She pushed past me and went straight to Buddy, sliding to a halt when she saw the burly equipment operator holding his heart and grinning like a dope.
“Oh lordy. He’s got it bad.” She puckered her lips and put her hand on her chin, her expression clinical. “He’s not sweating and his complexion’s good. No frothing at the mouth. He’s not been poisoned.”
“Course I ain’t been poisoned,” he said as if it we were being ridiculous. “What’s all the hullabaloo? I just came to beg the most wonderful girl on the planet to be my wife. It is Valentine’s Day, ya know.”
Coralee frowned, but concern was etched on her face now, too. “That’s real sweet, Buddy. Just let Raeann take a closer gander at ya. There’s a bug goin’ around.”
“Yeah,” Belle muttered. “The love bug.”
Rae stepped closer. “I just need to check a couple things, Buddy. That okay?”
He shrugged. “Sure, I reckon. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with me though.”
She put her head on his forehead and her thumb on his eyebrow, lifting his lid a little, then checked the bottom lid, too. “Eyes are dilated, but the tissue’s nice and pink. His skin’s a little warm.”
Buddy was starting to fidget. “What’s this all about? Is somebody gonna watch the shop so we can go pack and head to Vegas, or what? I don’t wanna wait another minute.”
Coralee shifted her weight and made a point to look anywhere but at him.
“Buddy,” I asked, “where have you been today? What have you had to eat and drink?”
“Why?” he asked.
“Just humor me.”
He lifted a shoulder. “I had the lumberjack breakfast and coffee out at the diner, then grabbed a couple power drinks and headed out to Sam’s to help with the boat. On the way, I realized what I needed to do, and made my excuses to Sam so I could rush straight here. He didn’t seem too disappointed though; he had to get home to Callie, anyway.”
“That’s it? Who did you talk to?” He had to have gotten i
nto it somewhere, and I knew for a fact Ray and Jeanie, the owners of the Starlite diner, were working that morning. That meant nobody had touched that food besides people who were trustworthy beyond a shadow of a doubt.
He shook his head. “I talked to Ray for a spell, then the guys and I shot the breeze outside the diner, but that’s it. Oh, and Lorraine was working at the QuikStop where I bought the drinks.”
Lorraine, huh? She was single and about his age.
Before I could say anything else, my phone chimed with another incoming text from Hunter. I couldn’t think of anything else to say anyway, so I glanced at Raeann and pulled my phone from my pocket. He’d sent five of those little heart-eyed emojis, a middle-school-style poem and a message.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if love was a sickness, I’d have a fever for you. I stopped and picked you some flowers and am on my way. Can’t wait to see you.
Then, not ten seconds later, he blew my phone up with three more messages that combined to make a picture. This time, it was of a heart made, again, out of emojis. The heart itself was made of red hearts and the background was made of pink ones.
I rolled my eyes, then did a double-take. He never sent gooey tripe like that, and he wasn’t a wildflower-picking kind of guy. I could count how many times he’d sent emojis on one hand and have fingers left. My palms started to sweat and my heartrate doubled. “Buddy, did you see Hunter this morning?”
“Yeah, at the diner. So what? Listen, is somebody gonna watch this place so me and Coralee can go get hitched or not?”
“No,” she snapped. “They’re not. Not today, not tomorrow, not when kingdom comes. Not ever. We ain’t getting hitched, so you may as well get that through your thick skull now.” She slammed her hands across her chest and scowled at him.
Rae’d noticed the note of near-panic in my voice when I’d asked about Hunter. “What’s up, Noe? Why did you want to know if he’d seen Hunter or not?”
I pinched my lips together and handed her my phone. She swiped it open, and when she saw the text, her shoulders slumped and she looked up at me.
“Yeah.” I said, resigned. “I don’t think Buddy’s the only one who’s been exposed. I think Hunter’s been bespelled, too.”
CHAPTER THREE
“Coralee, keep him here or take him home, but don’t let him out of your sight, and for the love of god, don’t let him convince you to get married. It’d be a disaster when we get this mess turned back around,” Rae said as we headed for the door. “We need to wait for Hunter, then figure out what happened.”
Turns out, we didn’t have to wait long. We hadn’t even made it all the way back to Brew4U before Hunter pulled up alongside us. It only took a quick glance to recognize the same sappy, out-of-focus grin that Buddy’d been wearing when he came into the salon earlier, and I cringed when he spoke.
“There’s my beautiful girl! Raeann, look how the sun glints off her hair!” he said, his eyes wandering over my face.
Rae glanced at me, half amused and half grossed out. “Uh, yeah. Why don’t you park and come into the shop?”
I craned my neck to keep an eye on him while he pulled to the back and winced when he hit a garbage can because he was looking back at me.
“I don’t think you have to worry about him going anywhere else,” Rae said, her tone wry. “I’m pretty sure he’s gonna be attached to your hip until we undo whatever’s going on.”
A car backfired from the street and scared the crap out of me, and I caught a glimpse of Keyhole Lake’s water tower when I whipped around. I squinted to get a closer look because there was something written on it in huge, glittering gold letters. Cody ♡ Shelby. I tugged on Rae’s arm and pointed.
“Oh crap,” she huffed. Shelby was my little sister, and Cody was her boyfriend—her boyfriend who was deathly scared of heights.
I pulled up Shelby’s number on my phone, and while I waited for her to answer, Hunter grabbed me from behind and nipped me on the neck.
“Okay, there Romeo,” Rae said. “Down boy.”
Though we were affectionate, neither of us was big on PDA; we tended to keep it to hand-holding and the occasional peck. His open lovey-doveyness was disconcerting. Thankfully, we were the only ones in the shop.
Shelby picked up after several rings. “Hey. I just finished the stalls. What’s up?”
“Have you by chance seen the water tower?”
“Nooo,” she drawled. “Why? Did somebody steal it?” The tower wasn’t visible from the farm, so I wasn’t surprised.
“No, smarty pants. You’ll be delighted to know that your name is there in shiny gold paint.”
“Wait, what?” she said, confused.
“Cody hearts Shelby is written in giant gold letters on the water tank.”
“Aww,” she said in typical teenage fashion. “That’s so sweet!”
“Yeah,” I said. “So sweet I’m getting a stomachache. Let me ask you this though—have you ever known Cody to be one for defacing public property, especially from a hundred fifty feet in the air?”
“Oh,” she said as it sank in. “Yeah, probably not. Definitely not.”
I gave her a rundown of what was going on. “Track him down and call me as soon as you do. We have to get this straightened out, and right now we have no idea how it even happened.”
We disconnected, and I shrugged out of Hunter’s grasp again. The man was like an octopus.
“I just can’t seem to keep my hands off you today, sweetie pie. You’re irresistible.”
I smacked his hand and led him to a table. “Try harder. Trust me when I tell you that you’ll regret it later if you don’t.”
His face fell and I growled in frustration. “Ugh. That wasn’t a threat—you’ve gotten into a love potion somewhere along the line.”
Rae joined us, handing us each a cup of coffee. “Yeah, loverboy. Where all you been?”
He scowled at her. “Nowhere. I went to the diner for breakfast, then started to go to work, but just had to see Noelle first.” He turned his expression to me, hurt. “Why would you think I’ve drank something, magical or otherwise, just because I’m a little affectionate?”
“Oh, c’mon, honey,” I said. “It’s not like that. It’s just that I know you. You’re not exactly an emoji kinda guy. And you’re definitely not one to act like a hormonal sixteen-year-old in public.” I smiled to take the sting out of my words.
He crinkled his forehead. “Now that you mention it, I do feel strange. I can’t focus on anything but you.”
I arched a brow and turned up a corner of my mouth.
“You know what I mean. I always think about you, but I can usually multitask and control my impulses.”
That made me feel better—and hopeful that the potion was wearing off. Until he opened his mouth again.
“But you’re just so beautiful ...” His eyes had glazed over again.
“You didn’t really think it was going to be that easy, did you, sugar?” Rae nudged me with her elbow. “This one’s a doozy. I checked my supplies. Nothing you’d use in a love spell is missing, so it had to have come from somebody else.”
Cheri Lynn, a friend and recently deceased exotic dancer—stripper’s a rude description, even if it’s accurate—popped in beside me, and I sloshed my coffee. She usually gave a little advance notice by fading in rather than popping, but she was excited. “Is it true? Have the guys been dosed with a love potion?”
Cheri was a true southern belle, despite her former less-than-ladylike profession. She’d been dealt a raw hand in life, but since her murder, she’d proven to be a loyal friend.
“So it seems,” Rae said.
Cheri was staring at Hunter’s goofy expression, amused. “Looks like he got a double dose. So who all got into it? Have you figured out who done it yet?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. So far, it’s Hunter, Buddy, and—we suspect—Cody.”
“Ah,” Cheri Lynn said. “Yeah, I seen the water tower but just figured he was
making a grand gesture of his undyin’ love since it’s their first Valentine’s Day together and all.” She sighed and dropped her chin in her hand. “Young love.”
She’d recently met a fine gentleman when we girls had gone on a cruise after our greedy, no-good sheriff was murdered. The funny part of the story was that the sheriff had paid for it, post-mortem. It was probably the nicest thing Hank ever did for anybody, and if he hadn’t already been dead, just the thought of spreading joy—or spending money on other people—would have killed him. At any rate, Cheri Lynn was looking at life through some seriously rose-tinted glasses right then.
“Sorry to burst the little heart bubbles floating from your eyes,” Rae said, “but the water tower thing was because he’s stoned on liquid love. My guess is he’s gonna be mortified when he’s put back to rights.”
“Speaking of”—I stole a quick glance at Hunter to see if I needed to wipe drool off his chin—“don’t you just have something here you can use to fix him?” I wanted my motorcycle-riding, manly-man cop back. Frankly, I preferred him a bit less in touch with his feminine side.
She shook her head. “I can’t give him anything until I know what he took. We need to go to the diner.”
I turned to Hunter. “You didn’t go anywhere else other than the diner and work?”
“I did stop by Sam McCauley’s, just to see the airboat everybody’s talkin’ about. But that was only for five minutes.”
Huh. So he and Buddy had both been to Sam’s too. It seemed a call to Callie McCauley was in order, though I wasn’t sure I had her number. I was pulling up my contacts when my phone rang and Shelby’s face popped up on my screen. She’d found Cody at the animal shelter/vet clinic he helped his uncle run, tying red bows around the necks of an entire litter of puppies. Apparently, he was taking the “more is better” approach to Valentine’s Day gifting, between the water tower and the puppies.
I’d have been okay with one puppy, but Max, our donkey, had already threatened barnyard rebellion if we brought home another dog. Yes, he talks, but that’s another story. Matt, the guy who rented the apartment above our barn, had a big German Shepherd named Wiz. Even though he was friendly and mannerly, one dog was all Max was willing to tolerate.