“How old was he?”
“Two years younger than I, I mean… he’s a man now. I’m sure he’s got a job by now, he’s fine.” Lucian’s voice wavered as he tried to sound certain. Emmie hugged his arm around her tighter, and he pulled her back against him.
With a sigh, she looked at the door, wondering if the crowd had cleared out for the evening meal, so she didn’t have to walk past them all. “I guess I’ll go, and… I am sorry about earlier.”
She tried to sit up, but he pulled her back down and leaned over her. “What do you mean? You don’t need to go.”
“I just —”
“You can sleep here, Emmie. Try it out at least. I know my bed is a lot better than the ones in the stable.” His words were sincere as he cupped her chin and ran his thumb over her lip.
“You’re sure? That’s okay?”
Lucian laughed. “Where did you think Alice has been sleeping? Or Clara? It’s normal to stay with someone. No one is going to question it.”
She looked at the door again, debating as to whether or not it was a good idea to sleep in Lucian’s bed. Alice had done it with Quentin multiple nights and ended up mated, and Clara had done it with multiple men and was still in the stable.
Emmie still wasn’t sure which half of the coin she wanted to land on with Lucian, in her mind it was still spinning on its side, waiting for her to decide – because Lucian had made his goals clear.
“Okay. I’ll stay.” She said it softly, her own decision still wavering, but Lucian pulled her tightly against him and dragged the blanket over them, enveloping her in the warmth of his skin.
“Good.” He said, and she could practically hear the smile in his voice. “So, you said you and Mathias have a plan to get us back inside the city?”
“We have an idea, but it’s going to take a lot more than that to make it work.”
“Well, I believe in you, Em.” Lucian pressed a kiss to her shoulder as night overtook the village, the last rays of sunset disappearing to leave them in dusky darkness.
“Thanks,” she whispered, and he held her close as he went quiet, but her own mind was racing.
Would her ideas even work? And did she really want them to knowing what waited for her?
Chapter Thirteen
“Wake up, beautiful.” Lucian’s kisses roused her, first at the ticklish spot behind her ear, and then down her neck to her shoulder. She had woken up almost the same way for two days in a row, and it felt unreal.
This Lucian she could imagine waking up to all the time. Especially considering the morning before he had slipped between her thighs and woken her up in a way that made them both very happy.
“Do I have to wake up?” Emmie groaned, shifting herself backwards until her ass pressed firmly against his morning wood. He grabbed her hips to stop her.
“Yes, I actually do have something to do this morning, and as delightfully distracting as you are we both need to get up. Mathias will kill me if you’re hours late to his house again, but don’t worry, I’ll be by later to see you.” He tilted her face up to his and pressed a kiss to her lips before pushing her out of bed. “Now, go on. Up.”
Emmie stumbled to her feet, flinching against the morning light seeping into his house, but her eyes popped open when he landed a spank across her ass. “Really?” she asked, turning to look at him.
“Irresistible.” He grinned wide, and climbed off the bed to pull on his pants. “I’ll grab us some fresh water to wash off with from the creek.”
She nodded as he snagged the large bowl and slipped out the door. The air that came in was chilly and she wanted to climb back under the covers, but knew that would just irritate him, so instead she snuck into her pack and grabbed the last of the dried meat to snack on. It was mostly tasteless, and required more work than she wanted, but it was better than the gruel they served out of the communal pot in the morning.
A few minutes later, Lucian returned and kicked the door open, balancing the bowl before he set it gently on his desk. “All right, time to make ourselves presentable.”
“Here, have some of this first.” Emmie held out the tiny bag of dried meat and he took the last two pieces from it and sat down beside her. She was still naked, but that had become normal over the last few days. Around him at least. The idea that some of the women and men undressed out in the open to hand wash their clothes near the river was still uncomfortable, and it was why Emmie had been glad for her extra set of clothes in the pack.
“You know, we make our own dried meat for the hunts. If this is what you prefer, I could —”
“No, no, it’s okay.” Emmie shook her head. “We agreed, no special treatment, right?”
He nodded, chewing on the piece in his mouth as he did. “You’re right, but I’ve tried the stuff they make from those seeds and oats and it’s terrible.”
Emmie laughed. “Don’t tell Clara that. She helps grow it.”
Lucian rolled his eyes, a sincere look of disgust crossing his face that surprised her.
“What?”
“Nothing. Just… don’t listen to Clara, okay?”
She paused for a moment, swallowing the piece she had been working on. “Why does everyone brush off Clara like that? I mean, according to her she’s been here for a couple of years and no one has even asked her to be a mate.”
“Have you met Clara?” Lucian laughed, tearing a fresh piece to chew as he stood and tossed a ragged piece of cloth into the bowl of water. “She’s a fucking nightmare. Who would want to mate her?”
“Have you ever…”
“No!” He almost choked, but recovered enough to shake his head. “First, I’ve had it as a principle for years not to take any of the women we found. The men needed them for encouragement, for hope that they might find a mate someday. And second, after I met Clara, I wanted no part of that woman’s attitude. She’s crazy. I was just fine with me and my hand.” He grinned and this time Emmie almost choked.
“Lucian!”
“What? Were you hoping I had bedded her?” He was starting to wash up, and Emmie didn’t mind watching the trails of water as they moved over his skin, naturally following the ridges of his muscles, down between his legs.
“I wasn’t hoping anything, I was just wondering.” Emmie shrugged and finished the last bite of meat. “So you really never took a woman for yourself?”
“I wouldn’t say never, but it’s been a few years. In the beginning I was just as interested as the rest, but after I found myself in a leadership role with Mathias… it just didn’t seem right.” He shrugged, wringing out the cloth on the floor before slipping it back into the bowl for her. “And I also got the chance to see what it looked like when people were really meant for each other, and I just never felt that with anyone.”
Until me?
Emmie felt like her mouth was frozen shut as half of her mind begged her to ask the question, and the other half was working just as hard to strangle that side into silence. What in the hell had he just meant by that?
“I really do have to run, Em, I’ll see you later. Promise.” Lucian smiled and stepped over, kissing her softly on the lips before he stepped out the door, making sure to close it tight behind him.
Complicated.
As nice as the last couple of days had been with Lucian, he was still a giant knot of complication. He had a sweet side… that was clear. In the way he could be with her when he tried, in the way he talked to the other villagers, the kids – but he could also go dark. He could lose his temper as badly as anyone else, and when that Lucian came out… he was intimidating, a powerful force that made her want to fight him, and submit, in equal measure.
Emmie washed up quickly, tugging on her clothes to make sure she would be able to avoid the dropping temperatures outside. Autumn was fading into winter faster than she ever could have predicted, and she still wondered how she had ever planned to survive the first snows with her small pack and her blanket.
Mathias and Lucian hadn’t just save
d the rest of the village. As much as she hated to admit it – they had saved her too.
And now you’re sleeping in Lucian’s bed every night.
She groaned and finished pulling her shoes on, leaving his house with a fresh crop of thoughts in her head. The walk to Mathias’ was too short to clear her mind, so when she knocked, it was only his gruff frustration that shook her out of it.
“Girl, are you still knocking? Just get in here.”
Emmie pushed the door open with her shoulder and stepped inside, appreciating the windbreak the structure provided as she closed it. “Morning, Mathias.”
He was still eating a bowl of something, but he nodded at her and gestured at the other chair. As she took her seat, he spoke up, “All right, so we should get an answer sometime this morning. Then we can review the map and make some decisions. You’re confident in the guard rotations?”
She sighed, nodding to confirm for the tenth time that she was completely sure. “Based on the letters over the last six months, there’s a pretty clear pattern. I even looked over some of the older ones from before that and even those confirm it.”
“Good, then we should be ready. I told the group here, and they each have the names of who they will tap when we decide to move. All of the hunting groups should be back today and we won’t send them back out.” Mathias had a new energy inside him. He seemed younger, less tired, even his eyes looked brighter as he skimmed something in his hand.
“Who will be going? Not everyone, right?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Most of the women, and the kids, will be here. We’ll take the free men, and, of course, leave a few mated men to protect the women from wildlife.” Mathias wasn’t even looking at her, but Emmie was straining to see what was in his hands.
“Most of the women? Some will go with you?”
Mathias finally lifted his eyes to her. “Yes, some of them are actually pretty good with a knife, and strong enough to do something with a spear or a staff. Numbers will matter once we’re inside.”
“Like who? Who will go with you? Will I —”
“I know who’s going, don’t worry about it. I need you focused on the details. Are you sure you’ve written down the rotation accurately?” Mathias gestured to the document on the table and she realized he was reading the second page of the guard rotation log she had written down. Emmie had been careful to write it in a large, clear print so his eyes could pick it up.
He could have at least said thank you.
Reaching for the first page she picked it up and skimmed it, finding everything to be accurate as far as her memory went. “Yes, it all looks good. Are you serious about doing it soon?”
“Of course, didn’t you give me an entire lecture on why we shouldn’t wait when we get new information? Be consistent, girl, I don’t have time for your female flights of fancy.” Mathias huffed and turned back to the page in his hand and she had to grit her teeth tight to stay silent.
If her stomach hadn’t been turning so badly at the idea of returning, she might have shouted at him for his misogynistic, dictatorial tendencies, but all she could focus on was the idea of being back in the city. The realization that everyone in the village that she had started to become friends with would learn the truth.
She was Jules Daniau’s daughter.
Family to the man who had ruined all of their lives.
How would they react to that? Would Justine still talk with her when they passed each other? Would Lucie still come to tell her about her growing baby? Would Inès still occasionally sneak her an extra piece of potato with her mid-day meal?
“Mathias, I’m happy to look over the map with you now, we can start —”
He laughed, and she fought the urge to toss a rock from the table at his face. “I don’t think that will help. You’ve done enough figuring out this pattern, we’ll take it from here.”
“Okay, then why am I even here?” Emmie crossed her arms over her chest, and he glanced over at her.
“If you don’t want to be, leave. Just come by later this afternoon to see if I need anything.” He glanced up at her for a moment, and then he went back to scribbling with the pen and ink. She stared at him, waiting for him to ask her to stay for something, anything, but it was like she didn’t exist. After everything she’d done for him, for all of them, in the last few days – she’d expected a little more, but that had been foolish.
“Fine. I will. I guess I’ll just go do whatever flights of fancy enter my feminine head.” Emmie had meant for it to come across as scathing and sarcastic, but Mathias didn’t even lift his head this time.
“All right, go on then.”
“Fine!” Emmie stood up, shoving her chair back hard, and she was gratified to see Mathias glance up at her with a bit of surprise on his face, but she ignored it. Yanking his door open with more force then necessary, she then pulled it shut as hard as she could. Part of her wished for the ability to slam a real door just so she could hear the satisfying sound of it crashing closed.
She was still fuming when she faced the morning hours of the village, the sky was turning blue, but it was the wintry gray-blue that would soon become a normal in the coming weeks until the thick clouds rolled in to threaten snow. Emmie grumbled, wrapping her arms about herself to find someone to chat with in the village.
Lucie was easy to find, sitting in a group of other women sculpting huge carrying baskets out of the dried stalks and leaves that Emmie had failed so miserably at. They were good to spend time around, each of the women were funny and bright, happy to talk about themselves and their mates. They tried, again, to teach her to make baskets, but when she failed even worse than before, they relieved her of the most recent abomination with a round of laughter.
“I’m sorry, I really don’t know how you do it so easily.”
“Oh, it takes time. I only do this when I’m not prepping the evening meal. Honestly, it’s just a way to keep my hands busy.” Amandine smiled at her, not even watching the basket in her hands as she continued to weave it. The casual perfection made Emmie groan inwardly.
“It’s true, Emmie. Don’t be frustrated, I know you’ve helped Mathias a lot. He’s been in much better spirits.” Lucie smiled, and the other two women leaned forward conspiratorially.
“What’s this, now? What have you been helping Mathias with? I thought it was Lucian you were helping.” Sophie grinned, and Emmie shook her head quickly.
“No, NO! Nothing like that, don’t even think that!” she argued and the women burst into laughter as a crimson blush suffused her cheeks.
“Emmie is helping Mathias with reading and writing. She learned in the city.” Lucie filled in the blank and the laughter drew to a quick close.
“You know how to read?” Sophie asked.
“And write?” Amandine continued.
“Um, yes.” Emmie wasn’t sure it was possible but the blush burned deeper, and she wished she could urge Lucie into silence without speaking.
“She learned how in the city. Used to take down letters for all those fancy people. Mathias was beside himself when I told him!” Lucie patted Emmie on the thigh and she forced a smile for the kind woman.
“Wow, that’s impressive.” Amandine whispered.
“Really nice. I think I still remember my letters, just never practiced!” Sophie laughed, and the women joined. “Maybe you could refresh us when you have a minute?”
“Sure. Of course.” Emmie nodded, and the other women’s looks of interest were clear. “I’d be happy to talk through it with all of you.”
“That would be great!” Lucie cheered, and the other women echoed the sentiment, but Emmie just felt awkward. She wasn’t sure how you taught someone to read, but she had noticed a few dirt-covered books in Lucian and Mathias’ homes that she could use if people really wanted to learn. The woman who used to come to her house when her mother was still alive had made it her profession to educate the children of the aristocrats in the city, and it hadn’t been easy even when E
mmie had focused. She was pretty sure Gabrielle had only learned after Sarah had started reading to them when they were all still young.
“You’re so nice, Emmie.” Sophie smiled at her, and Emmie smiled back.
“Thanks,” she mumbled, but her heart wasn’t in it. Would that be her next job in the village? Teaching a bunch of exiles how to read and write?
Maybe.
“Enough about that! I’m hungry, let’s see if the mid-day meal is prepped. I’m crossing my fingers for no more radishes. I’m so tired of radishes!” Amandine put her basket down in a huff.
“Two of the hunting parties are due back today, we should have meat for the evening meal at least,” Sophie commented, stretching as she put her own basket down.
“Evan will be back today.” Lucie practically glowed with happiness and all of the women made sympathetic sounds.
“Aw, Lucie, my Ariste will be back today too. We can all celebrate tonight, if you know what I mean.” Sophie laughed loudly, and this time Emmie laughed too reveling in Lucie’s sweet blush.
“Yes, yes, we’ll all have good nights. Now, can we go get something to eat?” Amandine stood up and the others brushed themselves off as well.
“That sounds good to me.” Emmie smiled and the woman smiled back at her as they all moved towards the village center to see what vegetables had been scrounged up for the mid-day meal.
With her belly full of radishes and spinach, she decided to leave Lucie and the other women to check on Mathias again. Everyone was dispersing anyway and it meant that she could either sit uselessly back with them while they made beautiful baskets, or return and try to be of help to the grumpy leader she had become an assistant to.
Instead of knocking like she had that morning, she just pushed the door open and she was shocked to see a group of men standing around Mathias’ table. They turned to look at her and she froze. Mathias, Ben, Victor, Lucian, and two other men she didn’t recognize.
“There you are, girl. Read this out loud for us.” Mathias reached forward and then held a piece of paper out to her. Victor took it and passed it to her as she walked over, her eyes skimming it quickly as she took it.
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