The next afternoon, after the battalion staff was withdrawn, the company was ferried back to VCB. It was Sunday. Father Riordan, the battalion chaplain, thought it would be comforting to hold a memorial service. The colonel and the Three readily agreed, even though regular services had already been held that morning.
Goodwin had to bully everyone into going. Supply dropped off new uniforms. The company walked down to the canvas bag showers next to the stream. Unfortunately, when they washed off the dirt and crusted blood and pus, their jungle rot oozed fresh pus onto their new uniforms. Still, it was a pleasure to be able to squeeze the pus out and watch it run clean and yellow-white and soak into the clean crisp cotton of the new jungle utilities. There was bitching, but the clean water, the new clothes, and a hot meal held it to a minimum.
At 1550 Fitch and Goodwin walked over to the muddy area where the troops were pitching their shelters. OK. You got ten minutes to get over to the chapel, Fitch said. Well see you there. After chapel, youre on your own until oh eight hundred tomorrow. He looked around. His company was pitifully small. Then he looked down, unable to talk, his shoulders slumped.
Look, you guys, he added. He tried to smile. No words would come. His nose began to run. The muscles in his throat ached. Then he reached up and took his cap off. Look . . . he croaked weakly.
People rose from the ground. Those with caps on took them off and remained standing, some with hands folded in front of them, looking at Fitch standing there beneath the leaden sky.
Fitch put his cap on and walked toward the chapel.
At the service Father Riordan led everyone in a hymn. Most of the blacks didnt know it and neither did half the whites.
Riordan introduced Simpson.
Simpson surveyed the freshly washed young faces in front of him, feeling a stir of pride and valor. He stood with both hands behind his back, his legs slightly apart, and told them how proud he was of every one of them, how proud of those who had sacrificed everything. It was a textbook assault. In the very best traditions of the Marine Corps. He paused, searching for words that could convey how he felt. I dont know if you know it, but I keep a bulletin board in my quarters that has all my units listed on it. If one of my units does a particularly outstanding job, I put a gold star next to it so everyone that walks in there can see it. Ive only put two gold stars up there the entire time Ive been in-country. Well, this morning I added two more. One for the eighty-one-millimeter mortars, my personal weapon of opportunity, and one for Bravo Company. He looked at the faces looking up at him. Theres never been a prouder commanding officer. He sat down, holding back the tears that flooded his eyes.
Father Riordan stood.
Let us bow our heads in prayer. He waited for the shifting and rustling to stop. Our Heavenly Father, we ask thee to take the souls of these departed young men who in the past several days have died for their country, giving that last greatest gift that any man can give that others might have the taste of freedom, the chance to worship thee in the way in which they . . .
Whispering had already started in the back of the tent. Hey Gambaccini, you wops listen to this shit all the time?
This is a fucking travesty to Jesus.
Our colonels a fucking gold star mother.
Hey, Scar, can we get the fuck out of here?
. . . comfort and solace to the dear ones left behind by these our departed comrades in arms. Let them know that their sacrifice was not in vain, but grant, loving Father . . .
Fucking loving Father wasnt cutting us any slack up on the hill.
I aint angry with God, but He sure as shit must be pissed at me.
Cortell, you get up there and show that mackerel how to preach, man.
There were also some who said nothing, like Mole and China.
The colonel retired at about midnight, thinking it had been a pretty good day. At 0200, shadowy figures crept to the downhill side of his quarters. In front, the Marine assigned as security guard fought hard against dozing off. He heard someone shout down on the mud path by the supply bunker. Whoooeee, we can be some kind of fucked up. Then another one joined in. Hee ya. Sheeit, man. Laughter floated up the path. He watched two black Marines slapping hands. The guard smiled.
The iron pipe caught the guard across the side of his face, caving in his jawbone and dislodging five teeth. A second one came from the other side, catching him above the eye. He sank to his knees and was hit again across the neck. His moan was stifled by a dark hand, and he was gradually lowered to the muddy ground.
There was a quick flurry of activity. The two supposed drunks ran out of sight. The two pipe wielders ran in the opposite direction. Someone coolly lifted the flap of the colonels tent and tossed in a grenade. Then he, too, ran quickly into the darkness.
The clunk of the grenade on the floor startled Simpson awake. He made a muffled, frightened gruntand ran. He fell over the tents ropes and slipped in the mud in the dark, desperately trying to beat the explosion. He dived into the mud outside, covering his head.
Nothing happened.
He looked up, feeling foolish in his muddy underwear. He saw his security guard slumped on the ground. Duty officer! he shouted.
The heavy door of the COC bunker opened and a shaft of light spilled onto the ground before the blackout curtain closed it off. Stevens came running.
Get a fucking corpsman, Simpson shouted. My guards been bushwhacked.
You all right, sir?
Get a fucking corpsman.
Stevens turned around to one of the battalion radio operators who was running up to him. You heard him, get a squid. The kid went running for the battalion aid station.
Simpson was trembling. Someone tried to fucking frag me. I heard the grenade come in. It was a dud.
Holy shit, sir, Stevens said. The two men stood watching the colonels tent. You sure its a dud, sir? Stevens finally asked, afraid the colonel would ask him to go look.
Simpson stood still a moment, his muddy underwear turning cold. Fuck yes.
Others were coming out of the COC bunker. One had a flashlight. Then two others came running from the aid station. The corpsman also had a flashlight. Simpson took the light and walked into his quarters.
Lying on the floor was a grenade with the primer taken out. Wrapped around it was a sheet of paper. Simpson took the paper off and smoothed it out. It was a mimeographed company roster, with names, ranks, serial numbers, and tour rotation dates. It was Bravo Company. Names had been heavily crossed out with a ballpoint pen. Neatly typed next to them were words like murdered, crippled, maimed, blinded . . .
Simpson crumpled the paper. Blakely burst into the room. You all right, sir? he asked.
Yes, goddamn it. A lot of good your fucking security guard did.
Hes pretty badly beat up, sir.
He deserves it. Probably asleep. I ought to fucking court-martial the puke. He handed Blakely the grenade.
The primers out, Blakely said.
Simpson looked at him coldly.
Ill get it in for prints, Blakely said.
Dont bother. You know the chances of that. Simpson turned on the light. He handed Blakely the crumpled paper.
Blakely swallowed. He handed the roster back to Simpson. Sir, I suggest action be taken immediately.
What? Simpson asked.
Disarm Bravo Company until we get them out in the bush again. Collect all grenades, all weapons. Put extra men on guard duty. My quarters too.
OK. Get Staff Sergeant Cassidy in here. They were his men. And get Lieutenant Goodwin up. Its his company.
Within half an hour Cassidy was standing with three Marines from H & S and sadly surveying the pathetically small tent city of ponchos and prone bodies that was his old outfit. Some kids were sleeping exposed to the rain where theyd passed out drunk. Then he set his jaw.
Goodwin had refused to help him. OK. Everybody up. Wake up in there. Everybody out of the rack.
Kids groaned. Some looked at their watches: 0300. Fear struck. Somebody was in the shit so bad that they were being sent in again. The fear raced through the squalid mud compound. But Marines must be in trouble. Theyd go.
Someone in the shit, Sergeant Cassidy? someone asked.
Yes, he replied grimly, Bravo Company.
Kids shivered in the drizzle. Some pulled on flak jackets for warmth.
I want to see all the acting platoon commanders, Cassidy said. Three former squad leaders walked up to him: China, for Second Platoon; Connolly, First; and Campion, Third. Three concerned faces looked at Cassidy.
Someone beat the colonels guard tonight. Almost killed him. He looked straight at China as he talked. A good fucking Marine. Three more days until he would have rotated out of this fucking place. And some assholes beat the shit out of him because he drew guard duty. Some real proud dudes.
China stayed cool. Connolly and Campion exchanged glances.
A dummy grenade was tossed into the colonels quarters. It had the Bravo Company roster on it. He paused. With some modifications.
Like what, Gunny? Connolly asked.
Cassidy was still looking at China. Like the ones whod died for their country had their names crossed out and the word murdered was typed in.
You think someone from Bravo Company did it, Gunny? China asked, wide-eyed.
Cassidy hated China but at the same time admired his cool. I dont think anything, he said. Ive got orders to collect all grenades, weapons, claymores, everything. I want them stacked up in piles right here, by platoon.
What kind of shit is this, Gunny? Connolly said. Others had gathered around the group of four and echoed his protest.
Just do what youre told, Conman.
I earned that fucking rifle.
Yes, you did. You all did. Cassidy clenched his teeth. He looked at their drawn, haggard faces, their dead eyes. He looked around him at the squalor, saw the kids hed humped with through the heat and cold, now shivering in the darkness, puzzled, angry. He wanted to cry out to them to make this easier on him.
But no one moved.
Am I going to have to take them away from you? Cassidy asked.
You aint wrong, Gunny, Connolly said. He walked over to his hooch, pulled out his rifle, and threw it in the mud. He then sat down and stared at it.
Pick it up, Conman.
Fuck you, Cassidy.
Cassidy strode over, towering above Connolly, who continued to stare at the muddy rifle. Then Connolly wrenched around, reached into the sagging hooch, and pulled out Vancouvers modified machine gun. He threw it into the mud. There. The fucking asshole can have that too. Tears welled up in his eyes and he tried, unsuccessfully, to blink them away.
Cassidy stared at the gun lying in the mud.
I want all the grenades too, Conman, Cassidy finally said.
Thats right. You fucking bastards want everything, dont you?
Wheres your fucking pride, Conman? Cassidy said softly.
I left it on that fucking hill we just abandoned.
Cassidy wheeled away. His parade-ground voice came back. Goddamn it now, I want all ammunition and grenades piled neatly.
I want the rifles stacked in an orderly manner. I want the stacks right here.
Some kids began to move for their weapons. Then China said, Uhuh. Everyone stopped. China reached for his machine gun and threw it into the mud in front of him. He stood erect above it. Others did the same. Soon the area was littered with grenades, rifles, ammunition belts, bandoleers, claymores, and captured weapons.
How about our fucking can openers, Gunny? That little chickenshit fuck want our John Waynes?
I got a needle in my sewing kit. You want that?
Cassidy stood alone, saying nothing. Eventually he motioned to his team from H & S to collect the weapons. The Marines from Bravo Company, disgusted, started crawling back into their hooches or rolling up in wet ponchos on the ground.
China continued to stand over his machine gun, waiting. When one of the H & S Marines approached it, China kicked it away. The kid stood up. Look, man, this aint my idea. He bent over for the gun again. Again China kicked it aside. The kid turned to look at Cassidy, who hadnt noticed the exchange, then turned back to China. Hey, come on. Just let me get this shit over with. I aint got nothing against you.
You touch that gun and Ill kill you.
Christ, dont get personal about it.
China leaned over. Aint nobody gettin my machine gun but Cassidy. You pick it up and you gonna get fucked with real bad, whether I be here or not.
All right. All right. The kid moved on.
Cassidy had noticed. He walked up to China.
How come Schaffran didnt pick up your gun?
He didnt want to.
Did you threaten him, you fucking puke?
How can I threaten somebody? I aint got no weapons.
Someone snickered. Cassidy was aware now that everyone remaining was watching him to see what he would do. He and China stood there, eyes locked.
You gonna do your duty, Cassidy, and pick up my gun? China asked softly.
Cassidy looked directly into Chinas eyes. His hands began to tremble. Then he bent over to get the machine gun.
China kicked it away. Parker, he said.
Cassidy stood up. His voice quivered with anger. If you think Im going to order you to do something so you can refuse it, become a fucking martyr, and hang around in the rear waiting for trial with the rest of the vomits you call your friends, then you got another think coming.
He reached again for the gun. Again China toed it aside. Broyer, he said.
Cassidy stood. I lost friends too, China.
How a fucking cog have a friend? How a fucking cog ever be a man?
Cassidy clenched his fists and saw China steel himself for the blow. Cassidy hesitated, struggling to restrain his anger. Manhoods something youll never understand, he said. He stooped down and picked up Chinas machine gun.
You make me sick, cog. China walked away toward his hooch, leaving Cassidy with the muddy weapon. The rest of Bravo Company turned their backs on him.
Some, however, did not forget him.
Its time to off the motherfucker, Henry said. Now.
We seen nough killin, China said quietly.
Henry stood up and whirled around. Man. Do I have to listen to you we-seen-nough killin shit, like Im some kind of small boy look wonder-eyes at big daddy home from the wars? You know who you been killin out there donchew? You own brothers. Yeah. You own brothers. Thats who you been gettin you nough killin with. Well, I say we finish with that shit. We gonna do some killing our own. And for our own.
China could see that Henry had most of the brothers with him. Still, some of them, like Mole, looked to China to say something. Chinas rhetoric failed him.
You gonna just sit on you ass while that racist cracker throw our brother Mallory in the fucking conex box like some kind of animal? Henry asked. And then you run you ass up that fuckin hill like you some kinda nigger Audie Murphy and half you fuckin company get killed for nothin, and he send you fuckin Coca-Colas, like you on some sort of football team? Hey, man. And then cut you balls off by takin you rifles. You dont think maybe that fuckin lifer hasnt been practicin violence on you? Or you just turnin white in more ways than one? Maybe you daddy be a white motherfucker and leave you all them white spots.
The familiar taunt made China clamp down his teeth so hard that he was afraid hed break a molar. He knew what Henry was doing, and he knew that too much was at stake to give in to his rage.
Henry strutted over to the Mak
assar ebony trunk and opened the heavy lid. You think about it, brother, while I fix us up some good brother Roogie and try and understand why you so fucked up. He carefully removed the clothing and other items in the trunk to reveal a beautifully crafted box with a sliding drawer. He opened the drawer and took out a silver bong with a crystal water bowl and an ornate cigarette roller and some paper.
Matterhorn: a novel of the Vietnam War Page 62