After the last time, she’d sworn she was over him. She’d promised to forget him, to never go back. She’d met Sean and had been sure everything would be different.
Yet here she was. Back with Shep.
She wanted to believe that he’d changed. She knew that there were signs of that. Him being here. Him waiting for her. Loving Shep wasn’t the problem, she admitted to herself. It was trusting him.
The afternoon wore on. She finished decorating the cupcakes and delivered them. Denise Hendrix was thrilled with the project and immediately ordered four dozen more for Christmas. Nancee swung by the bakery to pick up more orders from Shelby, then went to the grocery store for supplies. Honestly, if she was going to do this on a permanent basis, she was going to have to set up an account with a commercial baking supply company and order in bulk. As it was, she was decimating the baking aisle at her local grocery store.
She bought what she needed, then headed for the checkout line. But before she got there, she thought about Shep and his text. How he would be out with ski patrol all day. No doubt he would get home cold and hungry.
She turned around to do a bit more shopping. She had a recipe for a chicken taco casserole that would reheat really well. She could deliver it, and he would have plenty of leftovers.
The ingredients purchased, she headed back to her aunt’s house and started on the casserole. By five it was done and ready to be delivered. She texted Shep to make sure he was heading home, then got directions from Gladys.
“He’s quite a ways out of town,” her great-aunt warned her. “If it starts snowing later, you might get stuck.” Gladys winked. “It’d be a real shame if you had to spend the night.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Nancee said firmly. “I’m still figuring things out.”
“What is there to think about? From what I can tell, the man’s crazy about you. He’s better than that criminal back east. The one who won’t give you back your cat.”
“I know. Sean is awful.” He’d finally responded to her emails, telling her he was keeping Calvin and that she would never see the cat again.
“So?”
“Shep and I have a lot of history to work through. He’s a great guy and I really care about him, but what if he leaves again?”
“He’s been here over a year. He came because of you. If you’re looking for proof of his intentions, I would say they don’t get more concrete than that.”
Gladys had a point. Nancee hugged her, then loaded the casserole into her car and drove through town.
Shep’s property was just as far as she’d been warned. Several miles out of town and up a winding road. There hadn’t been much snow in the past few days, but there were plenty of slick spots, and she was grateful for her four-wheel drive. She took the turnoff and followed a narrower road.
The scenery was beautiful. Tall trees crowded along the road. Snow was piled up on both sides, although, again, the path was clear for her. She would bet the area was amazing in all four seasons.
She rounded a bend, then jammed her foot on the brakes and stared at where Shep lived. There was a big open clearing, his truck, a stack of wood and a midsize trailer. On wheels.
Shep might have come back to Fool’s Gold for her, but he obviously wasn’t planning on staying for very long. Although he had a house—it was one he could take with him. Nothing about his stay in Fool’s Gold was permanent.
For a second, she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. There was raw pain and a flood of disappointment, then a knowing. Why would this time be different, she wondered sadly. She should have expected this.
The door to the trailer opened, and Shep stepped outside. He waved and started toward her car.
He was tall and strong, and the ache in her heart told her that she loved him. She always had and probably always would. But the trailer...
She got out and faced him. He looked into her eyes, and his smile faded.
“What’s wrong?”
She pointed to his home. “It’s a trailer.”
“That’s right.”
“It’s on wheels.”
“Most trailers are.”
“You can take off at any second. You can just be gone, and I won’t know why you left or if I’m going to see you again.” Tears burned, and she blinked them away.
“Is that what you think?” he asked quietly.
“It’s what I know. You leave me over and over again. You said you came back for me, but what happens when you leave me again?”
“I was never leaving you,” he began.
She shook her head. “You said that before. And while I want to believe you, in the end, I’m the one who was left alone.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. She looked from the trailer to him and back again.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I’m not strong enough. I don’t want to move from place to place all the time. I don’t want to never have somewhere to call home. I love you, Shep, but I can’t do this.”
He grabbed her hands in his. “Don’t. Don’t go. Stay with me. Give me a chance.”
“I gave you three.”
“I’ve changed. I’m always going to be here, Nancee. I’m always going to be with you. Watching out for you, taking care of you. I want us to be together. I want to be the man of your dreams.”
She wanted that, too. More than she could say. But there had been too many disappointments.
She pulled free of his touch and walked around to the passenger side of the car. After taking out the casserole, she handed it to him.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“You won’t.”
“Either way, it’s not going to work out.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT WAS NEARLY impossible to decorate cupcakes while crying, but Nancee did her best. She played Christmas carols and when they didn’t cheer her up, she tried to watch holiday movies. Anything to get her in the spirit of the season. Or at least stem the flow of tears.
It had been two days. Two long, impossibly horrible, empty days of missing Shep. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat and while she wouldn’t mind losing ten or fifteen pounds, she knew this wasn’t the way.
She’d thought she might hear from him, but she hadn’t. Not a phone call or text. Certainly not one of his heart-stopping drop-in visits. He had taken her at her word and was well and truly gone.
She’d known being without him would be difficult, but she hadn’t thought it would be this hard.
Her great-aunt walked into the kitchen and took a seat at the island. “You’re a mess.”
“I’m trying not to be.”
“It’s not going well.” Gladys shook her head. “You young people today. Always making ridiculous choices. You obviously love Shep and he loves you, so why aren’t you together? If I were your age, I would jump his bones in a second.”
Nancee sniffed. “He’s going to leave.”
“So?”
She stared at her. “So? He’s already left me three times. How many chances am I supposed to give him?”
“Why does he leave?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
Gladys rolled her eyes. “Why does Shep take off? Is he mad at you? Tired of you? Looking for someone younger?”
That brought a smile to Nancee’s face, however wobbly. “No. It’s not about me. He can’t stay in one place very long. Because of how he was raised.” As it wasn’t her story to tell, she didn’t go into detail. Gladys, for all her nosy ways, wouldn’t pry.
“So it’s the location he can’t settle on, not the woman?”
Nancee considered the question. “That’s what he told me. And I guess I believe him.”
“Then the real problem is he can’t settle in one place, and you don’t want anything else.”<
br />
“What? I never said that.”
“You’d be open to going with him?”
The first time she and Shep had been together, Nancee would have said no. The second and third, as well. But maybe it was time for things to be different. If not things, then certainly her. Maybe location wasn’t as important as belonging.
“I’ve lived in Fool’s Gold all my life,” her great-aunt said. “I’ve seen a lot of people come and go. There are folks who live a few blocks from each other and never speak a word. There are others who are close, no matter where they live.” Her expression softened. “I love you, Nancee. You’re a good girl with a giving heart. But right now you’re focusing on the wrong thing. Shep’s a great guy. Don’t lose out on what matters because of convention or some silly idea you have about what’s important.”
“I’m not sure what’s important.”
“Then maybe it’s time to find out.”
With that, Gladys left the kitchen. Nancee kept on baking. When she had a break, she pulled out her laptop. She wasn’t sure what she was looking for exactly. She still hadn’t decided what she wanted to do with her life. Not go back to DC. That was for sure. Too many bad things had happened there.
She could happily stay in Fool’s Gold, but if that didn’t work for Shep, then maybe they could go somewhere else. She liked baking cupcakes, but it wasn’t as if she could do that on the road.
Or could she?
She moved the cursor to the search bar and typed in custom trailers. Fifteen minutes later she had a page of notes.
There were trailers for everything. Presentations, temporary housing and hauling just about anything that needed to be moved. From horses to boats. But what intrigued her the most were the ones that were multiuse. She’d seen several custom trailers that were divided into living space and work space. What if they found something like that? A trailer they could modify so they lived in half and she had a commercial kitchen in the other half?
She spent a couple more hours doing research, and when she was done, she thought that maybe, just maybe, it was possible. Madness, but possible. Shelby had a thriving mail-order business. She’d had rave reviews on the cupcakes in a jar. Nancee could mail those from anywhere. If she could work with Shelby to start with, then maybe get her own website up and going...
She made more notes. What if she and Shep returned to Fool’s Gold every Christmas? She would like to see Gladys, and she could bake for Shelby while she was here. Once they paid for the trailer, they wouldn’t have a lot of expenses. Shep had always been able to find work. They would be fine. And together.
The thought of simply taking off was terrifying, yet oddly right. It had been nearly ten years—she obviously wasn’t going to get over the man, so she had to figure out how to make it work for both of them.
She pulled out her phone and sent him a text, asking him to get in touch with her. The rest of the day passed in silence.
She told herself to be strong. To have faith. But as the hours ticked along, she began to wonder if she’d waited too long. Had she finally figured out what she wanted only to lose Shep? Fear blended with sadness as she waited, each hour longer than the one before. Where was he, and when was he going to give her a chance to explain?
CHAPTER NINE
SHORTLY AFTER NINE the next morning, Nancee heard a truck pull into the driveway. She’d just mixed up batter, and now she set down the large mixing bowl and raced to the front of the house. She nearly collapsed from relief when she saw Shep’s truck. Despite the cold and the falling snow, she raced out to greet him.
“You’re back! Where have you been? I’ve been texting you. We have to talk. I have so much to tell you. Please say it’s not too late. Please.”
Shep looked at her and frowned. “Didn’t Gladys tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Where I went.”
“No. She didn’t say anything.”
He shook his head. “That woman and I are going to have a talk.” He opened the rear door of his extended cab pickup and pulled out a small pet carrier. “I went to DC, Nancee. To bring you this.”
He handed her the carrier. She took it and stared inside. Familiar green eyes looked back at her, then Calvin meowed loudly.
She dropped to her knees and unzipped the front of the carrier. Calvin flew out and into her arms. He was warm, and his thick fur smelled so good. He purred loudly, and the sound eased the ache inside her. She wrapped her arms around him.
Tears formed again, but these were the good ones. Happy tears.
“Baby boy, I’ve missed you,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I had to leave you. I’m so sorry.”
Calvin hung on, purring and butting her chin with his head. She patted him, barely aware of Shep urging her to her feet and getting her into the house.
Still holding Calvin, she faced him. “You flew to DC to get my cat?”
“Uh-huh. Day before yesterday. I met with Sean—then Calvin and I took the red-eye back last night. Gladys knew. I don’t know why she didn’t tell you.”
Because she’s smart enough to know I needed to figure out my next step by myself, Nancee thought.
“This is so like her,” she said, then understood why Gladys had made a point of saying she had a brunch meeting with friends.
Shep’s phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen, then smiled.
“She said to tell you there’s a litter box set up in the laundry room and Calvin’s favorite food in the pantry.”
“She’s amazing. When I see her I’m going to hug her as hard as I can, then yell at her for not telling me what was going on.” She smiled. “Okay, I probably won’t yell.”
She took Calvin back to the laundry room and set him down so he could discover his new bathroom and start exploring the house.
When she returned to the kitchen, she found Shep pouring himself a cup of coffee. He looked good. Tired, but still very much the man she loved. The man she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. The one who had flown across the country to get a cat he’d never met, simply because she missed Calvin.
“How did you do it?” she asked. “Convince Sean that—” Her gaze dropped to his bruised knuckles. “No! Did you hit him?”
Shep sipped his coffee. “What? No. He and I had a nice talk, and then he gave me Calvin.” He pulled a letter out of his shirt pocket. “And this. It’s a release. I asked for that because I know you’re still a lawyer at heart.”
She scanned the letter. Sure enough her ex was giving her the cat and releasing all ownership. Four simple sentences, then his signature. She eyed Shep’s knuckles.
“I know you hit him.”
His green eyes were wide with faux innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She decided to let it go. Sean probably needed a good smack upside the head, and she had Calvin back. Now she just had to find the courage to tell Shep how she felt and then wait to see how everything would work out.
“I need to show you something,” she said.
He sat at the island. “Okay.”
She got out her pages of notes and pictures of different trailers she’d found online.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About you, and us. I know what I said before—about it not working out. I’m sorry about that. I jumped to conclusions. The truth is moving around all the time is something I could make work. As long as we’re together.” She drew in a breath and looked at him. “I love you, Shep. I have from the first time I saw you. I’ve tried to forget you, to get over you, but I can’t. You’re a part of me. You always have been. So if you meant what you said—if your moving on isn’t about me—then take me with you.”
His gaze locked on her face. “You’d do that for me?”
She nodded. “I’ve been looking at trailers onl
ine.” She showed him what she’d found. “We could live in the front, and I’d bake in the back. I’d get my own website and still be doing shipping for Shelby. I haven’t talked to her about it, but I’m sure she’ll agree. We’d have to take Calvin with us, but he’d be fine. He’s a good boy. You’re going to like him.”
Shep picked up one of the pictures. “You’d uproot your whole life?”
“Yes. I meant what I said. I love you. I want to be with you, and I hope you want that, too.”
He looked at her for a long time, then nodded. “Get your coat. I want to show you something, too.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
“I’m not leaving Calvin.”
“You can bring him along.”
She put on her coat, then collected her cat. Calvin snuggled close and purred as she held him in the car.
Shep headed out of town, along the familiar road leading to his trailer. There was snow on the road, but his four-wheel-drive truck handled it easily.
They turned onto the narrower road. This time Nancee knew about the trailer. She wouldn’t mind spending a little time in it so she could figure out how much stuff she could bring with her. Maybe Gladys would let her rent one of her small back bedrooms for extra storage. If they were going to be coming back here every Christmas.
But instead of stopping at the trailer, Shep kept driving. She saw that the narrow road continued around another bend. They cleared it, and she saw a large, partially constructed, two-story house. There was siding and a roof. Windows, but no driveway or garage doors. He turned off the truck, and the only sound was Calvin’s purr.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered.
Shep unbuckled his seat belt, then turned toward her. “I haven’t told you I love you.”
Her mouth dropped open. Oh no! He was right. He hadn’t. Was he saying—
He touched her cheek. “I love you, Nancee. I didn’t want to say it before because all the other times we were together, I kept telling you how much I cared, all the while showing you I wasn’t going to stick around. Love requires more than words. I finally figured that out about the time I realized I was ready to be in one place. Ready to settle down, as long as I could be with you.”
A Kiss in the Snow (Kindle Single) (Fool's Gold) Page 5