CHAPTER SIX - The red carpet.
The following days after the meteor shower Ryan didn’t call or come over to my house. I ended up hiding out in my room and doing nothing all day or lounging in front of the T.V downstairs. I never had many friends growing up, but I’ve always managed to have a good time doing whatever whenever. Now I can’t seem to remember what I did for fun or entertainment during all those years by myself.
Life was unexpectedly boring and lonely all of a sudden.
‘I miss him, I want to see him,’ my heart rampaged.
I sighed. I’ve become very pathetic lately.
Sighing again, I rolled around on my bed with my comforter in my arms. The airplane tickets he gave me a few days back were still in my hands, but after our recent fallout I’m not sure if he’d still want me to tag along with him to San Diego. He probably hates me after what I did the other night. He wanted to hang out with me all alone and I screwed it up by saying something that I didn’t mean. It was my fault. I should probably apologize to him somehow.
Deciding I should go outside for some fresh air instead of sulking inside my room, I made my way to my front lawn only to find Ryan sitting on the grass pulling the petals off of my mom’s flower garden. She was going to destroy him if she ever saw – I knew that much. Her garden was worth more than my life, my brothers’ and my dad’s combined.
Ryan hadn’t noticed my presence when I stepped outside and I stood by my front door observing him for a bit before I spoke up. “What are you doing here?” I asked, crossing my arms defensively.
I hated that. I sounded hostile, but that wasn’t what I wanted to express or what I wanted to say. It was just easier for me to act that way.
Ryan looked up at me from the grass, and the corner of his lips instantly curved upward in a smile before he frowned and looked away. His hands returned to his floral killing until he decided it was better for him to tug out the grass on my lawn instead. “You didn’t call me,” he muttered.
I have no idea how that’s an answer to why he was loitering on my front lawn all by himself, but I dismissed the question. “You didn’t call me either,” I said. Ryan didn’t say anything after that, and my insides constricted, urging me to apologize. “Look, I’m sor-”
“I’m really sorry for last time,” he said, interrupting me. “I was overreacting and didn’t mean to take it out on you. I’m sorry.”
I liked that he apologized first. “I’m sorry too. It was partially my fault.” I hesitated before sitting down beside him with a one metre distance in between us. My heart started beating faster and my hands became shaky and fidgety until I started pulling out the grass on my lawn. “I thought you would hate me after.”
His shoulders rise and fell in a nonchalant shrug. “Like I said, I was waiting for you to call all this time.”
“To apologize?”
“No.” His hands paused for a moment before he started vigorously tugging out the grass – even faster and more violent than before. “It’s sort of like, you never call me and I always call you. I mean, I don’t mind calling you, but it would be okay if you called me too.” He gave me a fleeting glance before turning his entire body away from me. “But this time, I just wanted you to call me to tell me I was wrong – that you wanted to spend time with me as much as I wanted to spend time with you.”
“Well...” I grabbed a weed off the ground and started peeling off its needle-like petals. “That’s very nice and all Ryan, but why are you saying that with your back facing me?”
“Uh, well, um...” The soft summer breeze flew passed us. “Those are uh... embarrassing words for a boy to say out loud.”
And because I’ve been a tomboy all my life, I said to him, “I’m feeling ya.”
After we settled our misunderstandings, Ryan and I moved onto other issues. It had completely slipped my mind during all this time, but apparently the talent contest Ryan had signed up for in City Park was tomorrow. He was flipping out with anxiety and since he finished writing the lyrics and the music for the piece, he wanted to play it for me to see if it was any good.
It wasn’t so much the song being a problem as it was himself. Ryan was way too nervous and especially since this was his way of showing the world who he was, he was even more self-conscious than usual. In the end, he practiced his song all day in my room, and we worked on strategies for him to keep his cool, but it all went down the drain when I met up with him backstage the next day at City Park.
He had completely forgotten everything we said and his fingers were doing the chicken dance across the strings of his guitar. “Hey, you’ll do fine. Remember? You played it perfectly in front of me yesterday.” I couldn’t help, but laugh secretly when he wasn’t looking. It was probably quite sadistic of me, but he was such a mess that I found it adorable.
Ryan took a deep breath. “Yeah, but that was in front of you. I played it for you. I sang it for you. It’s different.”
A security guard walked up to us after making his round with all the contestants. “Miss, you’ll have to leave now. The show will start any minute so please cheer for him from the crowds.”
I nodded even though Ryan looked at me with eyes that begged me not to go. “Good luck,” I told him. “I’ll be cheering for you.”
Ryan gave me an uneasy smile as I started walking away. Outside, amidst the crowd of people in the blazing heat, I waited impatiently for the event to start. His competitions turned out to be pushovers – though a couple of the dance performances were really good – none of them were quite as amazing as he was.
When it was finally time for Ryan’s turn, he walked out to center stage before knocking over the mic with the base of his guitar. The crowd burst into laughter which just made him more agitated. He tried picking up the mic, but then dropped his guitar and knocked over the stool, swearing a couple times under his breath into the mic.
I wanted to cover my eyes. His stage fright was just unbelievable. Even when everything managed to settle down and he began playing his guitar, it was completely off key. I’ve heard it more than enough times to know that he was messing up – big.
Ryan’s eyes scanned the crowd over and over again and it was then that I realized he was looking for me. Smiling, I threw my fist in the air and shouted, “Go Ryan!!! Show them how amazing you really are!”
He gave me a nervous smile from upstage – a look that told me he really couldn’t do this after all, but I wasn’t going to let him back down from trying to overcome his fear. “Just do it like how you did yesterday,” I shouted. “Play it for me, sing it for me – like I’m the only one here with you.”
The crowd burst into excitement and laughter and I could hear some perverted things being said as some others wolf whistled. My cheeks lit up like a volcano. I had just done something completely unnecessary and rather than calming him down and giving him confidence, I had probably made Ryan more anxious than before.
My eyes flickered over to where he sat on stage, but to my surprise, he was perfectly calm and gave his guitar strings a soft pat to stop their movement before he started again – from the top, his eyes locked on mine like we were the only ones here – this time his playing perfect.
I wouldn’t ask you a single thing
If you just grabbed my hand and ran
Let out just a single word
I’ll do whatever I can
Oh because I’d do anything
Jump off a cliff if it’s for you
Baby, I’d do anything
Anything, if it’s for you
And I wouldn’t ever let go
Because there’s no other girl
No, there’s no other girl
I’d rather say I love you to
Oh because I’d do anything
Jump off a cliff if it’s for you
Baby, I’d do anything
Anything, if it’s for you
And I’d get you red roses to fill your room
Every Wednesday night
I’d take you on
a shopping spree
Baby, whatever you like
So girl, please tell me
Tell me you love me too
Say you’re feeling the same way about me
The way I feel about you
Oh... Because I’d do anything
Jump off a cliff if it’s for you
Baby, I’d do anything
Anything, anything
Oh, I’d do anything
Anything if it’s for you
Oh Baby, I’d do anything
Because you’ve got me falling in love with you
When It Rains Page 6