Mayur Albatross

by brabim karki

  She got addicted on playing guitar more and more, going to the window, glaring

  at the outsiders, sometime playing guitar, listening to music had became her daily schedules. To her, the worlds shown by the window was only the real world. She had no idea how the world was moving and where it was. 

  In her view, she could see different incidents happening day by day. Some were running fast, some were lying on the street, some met with accident, vehicles, couples fighting with each other, throwing anger against each other, and many others. 

  Once, she saw a crowd of birds outside. Suddenly, one man hit one bird with stone. All bird flew away except that one. Its wings were hurt badly, bloods were out. It was fighting with pain, struggling there. Really, it seemed it was a cruel and bad pain. It tried hard and suddenly it flew away and reached with its crowd. 

  Simrika was moved this time. She compared herself with that bird. Though that bird was badly hurt, it eventually met its group. She realized she should move forward in life but every time she did, she was pulled back by that last night. 

  That was the last night where she could last take a glimpse of her father. That night, when a father raped her daughter and how a daughter killed her father.Now, he was no more.

  When she always remembered this, all her body started becoming cold and her mind completely went in the past. The feeling of insecurity always arouse in her. 

  All were going with a flow but Simrika still lost in her past, trying to move a little forward but again becoming helpless and moving to a square one. 

  Whenever she tried to think, feel like others and move a step forward that night incident, her father act made her to hate the people in this world. 

  She used to take a step back in her life, she remembered how amazing her life was and that may be, just may be the reason that she liked living that way. 

  Amidst the scene she saw through the window, her eyes were mostly focused on Sandwich Park. Sandwich Park was the cafe which was opulent for organic coffee and sandwich. The wooden table, art, crafts were the TLC of the café. It wasn't big enough but was a cozy place to enjoy and relax. It wasn't pack always but wasn't empty also. Some visited as a time pass; some for lunch but it was prominent for dating and junction. 

  Its customers were also of various kinds. Some were old, some foreigners, some lawyers and mostly young folks. She had seen many jamborees of guys and girls for the purpose of dating and get together.

  Some were tall, some were dark, some had bike, some had car, among these costumer there was one regular costumer. 

  He was a guy of about 21,long hair like Jim Morrison, rough clothes, guitar in his hand, a novel by his side and a cigarette in his hand. 

  He was different from the rest. He used to always arrive there at 2,spent 3-4 hours, read novel, sometime play guitar, sometime order coffee, puff the cigarette and left place on his bike. He never talked with anyone. He didn't have friends to chat and girlfriend to date. What classic about him was the bike. 

  When he sat there, he was completely in the novel, sometime looked up at the window where the beautiful lady was, sometime puffed his cigarette releasing out the smoke and again going back to novel. The novels were usually of Paulo Coelho. 

  The window lady got more interested to the guy. When clock stroke 2 and she heard the sound of bike, her eyes shifted to Sandwich Park. Now slowly the feelings of being human had started being inside her.

  What made her so was not still sure, maybe she was struggling out to come off her past and live a normal life. Whenever she saw that guy she had a feeling like going near and flash out all her feelings, memories which were struggling to come out. 

  She sometime started thinking of going to streets and shouting with great amplitude and energy, sometimes wanting to be wild, loving people, being loved by others. But time and again her past memories made her to hate the people and think that they are just the selfish. 

  One day, guy came in bike, saw up at the window it was empty. He ordered coffee and sat in same place in same way. 

  That day she was taken out for her check up. Really, it was a boring visit, she hated the crowd. Above, the sun was struggling to find place among the dark clouds.

  When she returned back home, she felt like going to park as she was drenched due to rain. This time she asked her grandfather and he was really happy to hear her voice after long time and he allowed her. 

  She went there and ordered coffee and sat outside by his side. It was good place to spend time.

  Full ac inside, wooden chair around, peaceful environment, bunch of lights hanging around and pleasant environment was there around. The rain began dropping down. The air became colder and colder, made her shiver. Some were with their bfs and gfs sharing in gloomy environment. 

   

  In real, she was looking forward to talk with him, share all her pains and take a step forward leaving besides all her past. She wanted to live but the flash back of her past that made her again pull back. 

  Luckily, she gathered courage and thought of   speaking with the guy. Coincidentally, that guy asked her,

  "DO you have matches?" 

  Girl kept a silence for a while and nodded her head. The boy again asked ,"you are the same lady, I used to see in that window, ya?, I always see you there in same window, What’s your name?" 

  “Simrika” She replied, and then she paused for a while. The boy looked at her and kept a silence for a while. The girl again asked “You are the regular customer here, what you actually do?" 

  "I am guitarist and writer, I learn and teach guitar. We have band. I write articles and read novels in my leisure period. I love travelling. I sometime saw you there playing guitar, are you interested in guitar?" 

  "Yup" she replied. "I love music, I listen rock. I am not a classic guitar player but I try to play with them." 

  The boy again puffed smoke and spoke after the silence "I listen Nepali pop and heavy metal, really they are doing great." 

   

  "I am really interested in guitar, but i don't have proper medium to learn It." said she. 

  He took his coffee. Rain began dropping quite heavy this time. So he spoke with more energy. 

  "I have a guitar book at home, if you are really interested i will provide you tomorrow." 

  "ya, sure" she says. Suddenly there was call from her grandfather.  

  She took sip of coffee and left half empty and said "ok. Have to leave see you soon, bye". 

  She hurried through the rain. 

  She found the boy really interesting. He was really different from the rest of the guys. Her lost feelings were struggling to grow again. Among the groups he was only the guy, she longed to talk, share and speak up with. She was really moving ahead in life. She started liking the sun, feeling the hotness and loving the nature and cycles. She started knowing this world and the people. Before this, the world to her was the only the scene shown by the window but now she had started realizing its greatness and horizon.

  She had become like a drug addict who never care about the world. The entire world she lived in was all in all. 

  Next day, she went to coffee earlier than the guy, environment was little chilly and gloomy, sun was in hide and seek with the clouds. So, she ordered two coffee of Nepali taste. She sat outside, tried to play with guitar without rhythm. Flipping through pages of novel and somehow waiting for the guy. 

  Then the guy appeared, came near to Simrika and put guitar and guidebook of guitar in the table. She looked and smiled and went on playing guitar in her own way. She looked at the book but couldn't understand what there was. It all contained about notes and rhythm. 

  Boy took out the note book and started writing something. 

  After listening to the sound play by guitar, he closed his notebook and came near the girl. And slowly took her guitar. 

  He said, "okey, sing your favourite song" he started playing notes. 

  She started song of B
ryan Adams………………………………… 

  She was really a good singer. Her soft voice and guitar were perfectly sounding, he was also a great player. Really the environment was too cool and musical. The boy then tried to teach how to play the guitar, how to read the notes and rhythms. She kept on listening as the good student. 

  Their coffee arrived and song was given a pause. 

  The boy asked, "By the way I again forgot your name, what is it?." 

  She replies, "I am  Simrika and what about you?” 

  "Kazim" said he. They went on talking for the hours. They sometime talked about the sandwich park and its customer, sometimes about the environment and sometimes about writing. 

  "I feel really comfortable here, I forget my pain of my life. When I sometime feel lonely, want to talk to someone, I just come here.

  “Well! Don’t you have partner, or you broke with him." she interrupted,

  "Nope, I don't have and what about you?" he asked. 

  "NO,” she replied.

  “Are you here looking for one around streets who passes by” she asked with little smile.

  “Every dog running after car doesn’t mean he wants to be its driver, likewise every boy looking after girl doesn’t mean he wants to be their boy friend “ he replied with considerable smile on his face.   

  “Actually I didn't feel such any day, where I was in love. Love can't happen anytime, anywhere and with anybody. To fall in love, minute and second hand of a clock of two heart must point exactly to the same hour. If that doesn't happen and we go on crying that we are in love, then simply a lust which eventually results in lost, I think guys make partner for to have sex and time pass only.

  “I may be wrong also but people i had met up to now had undoubtedly proved my sayings." Continued he.  

  "Ya, you are right but i don't think all guys and girls are same as others. I think the boys pay to girls because he wants to have real satisfaction in life." says she. 

  They were paused for a while. 

  After that he started writing in the notebook. 

  "What are you writing?" asked she 

  "I am completing my poem. I write a article and poem in my good time "says Kazim. 

  "Oh, that’s superb, can you read out that for me, please." She shared she was too much interested in writings. 

  He began :

          Darkness in light....... 

   

  you may wonder wat I m talking, darkness in light

  but its gone be happen, its true n i m right 

  no matter how bright may be the sun

  one day it will stop n may nt b on n on. 

  u may say there cant be dark in light

  there is, its just u cant c its sight. 

  Just the crowd see only smile

  when pain is darkened for a while. 

  Success is the light that is seen

  insecurity is the darkness that is in. 

  Take ur life as a huge dark

  n ur death as light n c how u can put a mark. 

  if u can't c dark in light

  u r the fool, that can never might 

  u may say blind has only dark

  he has inner light that makes him walk. 

  Never be always happy that u got a light

  darkness is there on rest for a while. 

  i take myself as a huge dark

  so that i can see light when i have a talk. 

  ……………………

  She did like the poem. She got more into the guy and found him as more interesting guy.

  He wasn't as bore as he seemed. Next day also, they chat on the same place but on different topics. This time, about their personal life. 

  "Did you listen the name of Raghav Thapa?" says Kazim.

  "Hmm... that top businessman of country who became lunatic" shared she 

  "Ya, he is my father. He is made lunatic. One day; his partner fraud him. He was charged heavy loan due to this. We lost all our huge business empires. There was a day where we had to struggle for single food also. Days were tough. My mother however managed to open a hotel through the support of my maternal uncle. I sometime help her. This is my story and what about you?" 

  She felt little gauche to share her own. So she remained silent this time.

  In order to make her comfortable he decided to read her out two of the articles he had

  written. He took out notebook and went on saying. 

  She was little sad . 

  For her, He read out from his notebook : 

  He turned out his note and selected the best one for her and began reading: 

  OPTIMISM

  Optimism is the powerful tool to conquer the happiness.It is the last and best option to adopt when we discover that we can't win the game by anything else.Optimism is an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions or to anticipate the best possible outcome.It is the energy which gives us power to think

  that everything is possible.It enlightens us to feel that we live in the best of all worlds.No matter what is happening around us, if

  we can develop our positive attitude at the core of our being, we will equip ourself to survive any challenge, any disappointment, 

  any crisis, and any source of upset.An optimist always thinks that some terrific will happen no matter how dark the present.

  An optimist always hopes a glimpse of light even in a scary

  darkness. If a door is closed, an optimist tries for next door or make a door himself.A common conundrum illustrates optimism-versus-pessimism with the question, does one regard a given glass of water, filled to half its capacity, as half full or as half

  empty? Conventional wisdom expects optimists to reply, "Half full," and pessimists to respond, "Half empty" . An optimist

  thinks the entire world belongs to him. Optimism develops

  confidence that eventually results success.Pessimist always complains about the problem whereas an optimist tries to find the solution for it. An opimist can create a new way whereas pessimist doesn't see any way.

  Optimism does have positive influence on other also.Once, there were two business partners. Unluckily,one partner lost 2 billions in share. So, he felt very guilty and couldnt face his partner. He even tried of winding up his life for that huge loss. Surprisingly his partner came and thanked him that he lost only 2 billions and further added if there were other, they would have lost further

  more. These positive words influenced that depressed partner so much that he toiled himself and made the business in profit instantly. Finally, their business became opulent.

  People who consistently exhibit a positive attitude are more likely to stay healthier, look fitter, and recover faster from any illnesses they do undergo. There is certainly something about optimism that goes far beyond merely being “upbeat” or “perky” — it’s a way of thinking and a way of living that actually improves our overall sense of wellbeing.Instead of viewing an illness as proof of how hopeless life is, an optimist looks it as the body’s way of telling that something needs to change, and then work on changing it.Optimism is the best cure for the patient who is not sure wether he will recover or not.

  Without optimism, you don't even dare to move. So be optimist, have some guts and achieve the success eventually.

  Never give up

  "Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees"

  -J. WILLARD MARRIOTT

  Success is the final outcome of many hard experiments and bad failures. We should all understand that if we don't get the desired outcome we want, then it is simply feedback. Humans have learned only through mistakes. Nothing is impossible in this world if we have real motivations and desire to achieve it. Failure is the small obstacle that tries to pull us back. Many obstacles can be found in our way and make us fail but we should go on with new strategies and more energy.

  History has shown time and
again that if people maintain the belief systems that encourage them, they will keep coming back with enough actions and enough resourcefulness to succeed eventually. Abraham Lincoln lost some elections, but he continued to believe in his ability. He refused to be cowed by his failures and finally he achieved it. When he did, he changed the history of his country.

  Sometimes people produce result simply because they don't know something is impossible. There is a story of a young man who fell asleep during his math class. He woke up as the bell rang, looked up at the blackboard and quickly copied two problems that were there. He thought they were the homework. He went home and labored all day and night. He couldn't figure out either one, but he kept trying for weeks and finally he got answer to one and brought to the class. The teacher was absolutely stunned. It turned out the problem he'd solved was supposedly unsolvable. If he had known that he probably wouldn't have solved it.

  Dedications, hard work, motivations are the key components of success. If people had given up, then would have been still in that Stone Age. People are now able to reach other planets and moon also. If Einstein had given up then, we wouldn't have seen the atom bomb and if Thomas Edison had given up after his 9,999 times of failure, then we would have been still living in darkness. We must thank to his failures and most importantly his courage and dedications to his work.

  Our doubts are traitors. The fear of failure makes the things impossible to achieve. Many struggles, failures, complications make the final product really beautiful. The timber tree becomes tougher when it bears heavy winds. Future is really uncertain. We don’t know what the result may be. The result that is obtained easily may not be as beautiful and perfect as the result obtained with great struggles and failures.

  We know that failure is temporary but giving up makes it permanent. So never give up, always go on. 

  She requested him to show some of his best works. This time, he showed his two piece, one article and other story about his friend-

  WHAT MEN WANT FROM WOMEN??

  All women out there…please listen to what we boys have to say….and girls agree to this alright..!!.. lol

   

  MEN WANT IMPERFECTION

   

  It’s okay my dear opposite sex pals if you are flawed. It’ll go well with our blemishes. Nothing annoys us more than someone who’s always chirping like a bird, whose outfits doesn’t match her. Its okey if your hair doesn’t shine or is too short.We need a little friction. We don’t need sexy move or walk like cat. The typical screen heroine with screaming like oouch! Ouch!! and may go well with a bag of popcorn. When it comes down to real life we don’t want someone unknowingly perfect. We want real and true friend and companion..