Personal Best

by Sean Michael

  “Only if you’ll eat with me.”

  “I. Uh.” His belly cramped, but he nodded. “Okay. What do you want?”

  “I’ll have the grand slam.” Those blue eyes were eating him up like he was the main course.

  “Eggs over easy and bacon, no sausage.” He knew exactly how Jessy wanted it.

  He ordered himself a bowl of chili and a side of fries, gave one of his tables their check and the other their food before finishing his soda in the back.

  When he clocked out, he grabbed their food and then went over to sit in the booth. “Hey.”

  God, this was weird.

  Deeply.

  “Hey.” Jessy cleared his throat and then looked at him. “First of all, I’d like to apologize. Walter Shell came forward today and admitted that he spiked everyone’s drinks. X in your soda.” Jessy cleared his throat again. “So I’m um… I’m sorry that I assumed you’d knowingly taken it.”

  Mike looked down at his chili, knowing he wouldn’t eat it. Couldn’t. “Walt? He got us drinks when I was playing darts.”

  “He said it was a joke. Though I’m not sure what part of it he thought was supposed to be funny.”

  “Oh.” Wow. One hell of a joke. It had derailed his whole life.

  “Yeah. Oh. So you guys are still suspended for three months, but you’ll be reinstated as soon as that time’s up, no loss in ranking. Walter’s been sanctioned by the ISO; he won’t ever swim again. Christ, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance to explain, but you didn’t wait around to talk to me about it either—you ran away.”

  “It didn’t matter.” He pushed the chili away. “You didn’t believe me. There wasn’t anything to talk about.”

  “Baby, you were telling me you didn’t take anything—I could plainly see that you were high….” Jessy looked away, voice husky. “I was angry and hurt, and all that I could see was that you’d thrown everything we were about into the toilet for a night of fun with your friends.”

  Mike nodded. “I know. That’s why I left. If you thought I would do that? We sort of were in two different places.” He gathered up his uneaten food. “Thanks for letting me know. I would have always kind of wondered what happened.”

  “Mike, please. Sit down.”

  He sighed but nodded, sat, looking at his hands. Everything hurt, like it had that first morning.

  “You know, in the over three months we were together, we never had one fight. Oh, we argued. Especially about the caffeine and chocolate, but we never really fought, did we? And then we hit a doozy and suddenly you’re running away.” Jessy reached out, fingers touching his. “I know it’s going to be a shock to you, but I’m not perfect. And I’m not always going to do the right thing. And you can’t punish me forever for this mistake. Well, you can, but then what kind of relationship did we have if we can’t admit to our mistakes and forgive each other?”

  “I didn’t do anything wrong. I even followed the stupid caffeine rule. I did everything right, and you didn’t even believe for a second I hadn’t taken something.” And fuck, but that still hurt.

  “Mike. You may not have knowingly taken something, but you were high. You ingested a drug. I couldn’t believe you’d done it. I didn’t want to believe you’d done it. But you were fucking high. I was hurt and angry. You never even tried to explain. I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong of me, but dammit, if you’re going to hold it against me forever, you might as well have knowingly taken that X.”

  “Huh?” He blinked over. “I got suspended. I got bitched out. I got drugged. I got in trouble. How am I the bad guy?”

  “No, I’m not saying you’re the bad guy, Mike. Not at all. You didn’t do anything wrong. Except maybe the running away part. But if you let it end like this. You and me… I screwed up, Mike. I’ve admitted that. I’ve said I’m sorry. Come back. Don’t close the book on us.” Jessy looked at him in the eye again, the look in those blue eyes vulnerable. “And if you won’t come back to me, at least go back to UT and Samuels. You belong in the water. You belong on the medal podium, wearing gold around your neck.”

  “I haven’t been swimming since I left home.” It hurt his heart. Swimming and Jessy had somehow gotten all tangled up inside him.

  Jessy closed his eyes, bit his lip. “Baby…. Come home. Please.”

  “I….” Oh, Jessy looked so sad. So lonely. “I can’t. I sent the papers in already.”

  Jessy took a familiar envelope out of his pocket and slipped it across the table to Mike. “Samuels gave this to me. I want you to know, Mike—even if you go ahead and send it back to him, I still want you to come home. I don’t care if you never swim another lap in a race, I’ll still want you home with me.”

  Oh.

  “I’ll have to follow you. I have my bike here.”

  Jessy blinked at him for a moment, and then hope leapt in those blue eyes. “Have you got a trailer for it or something so we could tow it?”

  “Uncle Frank does, in the garage.” He ate one of his french fries. “I missed you. Lots.”

  “Yeah, me too. I tried calling you a few days after you left. Figured you’d come back here.” Jessy was watching him, not touching his own food, watching. “Your aunt was good enough to let me know you were fine and that I shouldn’t call back.”

  “Oh. She’s sort of pissed off.” He’d cried some, thrown up a lot. “It’s been real shitty. I hate waiting tables.”

  “Go tell them you’ve quit, and let’s go home.”

  “For real?” He met Jessy’s eyes, biting his bottom lip.

  “Forever, baby.”

  He nodded. “I promise, Jess. I wouldn’t—wouldn’t ever take something like that. I mean, I still feel bad when I drink my sodas.”

  “You should—they’re strictly off-limits,” Jessy growled at him, but the look in those blue eyes was happy, hopeful. “I am sorry I jumped to conclusions, Mike. I promise to be better about giving you the benefit of the doubt in the future if you’ll promise to stick around until we have a chance to talk things out.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Okay, that’s fair.” Hell, he’d still been stoned when he’d made it to Kathy’s.

  “Okay. Well, if we’re going to head off tonight, we’d best get going.” Jessy stood and left some money on the table.

  “I’ll buy supper.” Mike stood, went over to Susan, taking off his apron. “I’m going back to Austin, I think.”

  She grinned. “Back to swimming, huh? You won’t be giving a week’s notice?”

  “No. I’m sorry. I… I need to go home.”

  Jessy’s hand slid suddenly around his waist. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. But Mike belongs in Austin.” He could practically hear Jessy’s silent “with me” at the end of that.

  She nodded, grinned. “Mail me your uniform, Mikey. Good luck with the swimming thing.”

  He gave her a quick hug. “Thanks, Sue. So much.”

  Then he turned to Jessy. “Let’s go.”

  “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

  JESSY HAD been good.

  He’d followed Mike back to Aunt Kathy’s so they could collect the trailer and Mike’s clothes. He’d driven and driven and driven until it was three fucking thirty in the morning. He was done being good.

  The next rest stop he found, he pulled in, all but crowing when it proved to be empty. He turned off the engine and put the car in park. “Baby. I need you.”

  Mike nodded, unfastened the seat belt, dark eyes huge. “Uh-huh.”

  Christ, he’d been wanting this for three weeks. Jessy grabbed Mike and tugged him over, mouth covering Mike’s, kissing his baby hard. Mike opened up, so hot, so hungry. He wrapped his hands around Jessy’s shoulders, held on. God, he’d gotten to need this.

  He tore at Mike’s shirt, fingers stuttering as they hit warm skin and then sliding over it to search out those sensitive, little points.

  Mike sobbed, moving closer. “Jess. Love you. Missed you so bad.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, baby.” He gave up tou
ching Mike to reach down and find the lever to move the seat back. He found it easily enough and shoved his seat as far back as it would go and then tugged Mike over onto him. “Need you.” Mike cuddled into him, the weight and heat delicious, so familiar, so missed.

  He took Mike’s shirt the rest of the way off and started in on his lover’s pants, freeing Mike’s hot, hard cock. Mike kept kissing him, eyes wide open, shining at him, watching him. Mike slid his hands down Jessy’s belly, around to hold him tight.

  He moaned, started moving, bringing their cocks together, wrapping both their hands around them. “Baby….”

  “Yeah. Yeah. I love you. Don’t stop, ’kay? Don’t stop touching me.”

  “Never. Never. Need you.” He slid his free hand around to Mike’s ass, pressing them tightly together.

  Mike’s kisses were salty, desperate, hungry. He returned them eagerly, hand working their cocks hard. He wanted to fuck Mike properly, wanted to spread him out and send him fucking flying, maybe use the nipple clamps, the collar, everything they had and fuck for hours. He couldn’t do that until they got home, and this would take the edge off.

  He hoped.

  Mike humped into his hand, moans filling his mouth, the scent of need strong, heady. He got hold of Mike’s tongue and sucked it, pulling it into his mouth.

  Mike cried out, jerked, heat spraying over his cock. Groaning, he came too, Mike’s pleasure spurring on his own. His cock was still hard, his need making him moan as he continued to kiss Mike.

  “Mmm…. Love you. Love you, Jess.” Mike was purring, lips on his cheeks, his jaw.

  “I love you, baby.” He let go of their cocks and wrapped both arms around Mike, squeezing hard. “And I’m not letting you go again.”

  “Promise?”

  “I promise. I don’t know why I didn’t come after you right away this time. Bad call. Bad calls all around.” Jessy kissed Mike hard and shifted him back into his seat. “I can’t wait to get you home.”

  Mike nodded. “I’m ready. Take me home, Jessy. I want our bed.”

  Jessy nodded, zipped Mike back into his pants and pulled their seat belts on. “Home. Where you belong.”

  Mike settled his hand on Jessy’s thigh. “Yeah.”

  Jessy nodded and started the engine again, got them out onto the road. His hand covered Mike’s on his thigh.

  No, he was never letting go again.

  MIKE SLEPT like the dead for a few hours and then his internal clock woke him and he wandered downstairs to make coffee, still 90 percent asleep and dazed, searching idly for things that weren’t where they belonged.

  Jessy slid his arms around Mike’s waist suddenly, dropping a warm kiss on his neck. “Since when do you make me coffee?”

  “Mmm…. Make a lot of coffee these days, Jess.” He leaned over the warm arms, cuddling, distracted.

  “You’re not working at Denny’s anymore. You’re back to swimming as your job.” Jessy slid his mouth on Mike’s skin, nibbling, licking.

  “Not for three… mmm… three months….”

  Jessy snorted. “You’re not allowed to compete for just over two more months; no one ever said you couldn’t swim.”

  He nodded, agreeing easily. “You stopped kissing.”

  “You woke up the coach.”

  “Didn’t mean to. I wanted some coffee.” He shook his head. “Of course, I was still at Aunt Kathy’s, looking where she keeps hers.”

  “No coffee.” Jessy turned him, looked into his face. “The rules are back in place. All of them.”

  He looked away, blushing. “I’ve been… way not following the rules.” Way as in a twelve-pack of Dr Pepper a day and chocolate for breakfast even.

  “Is this your way of telling me that you’re going to be a bitch for the next few days as you break a few habits?”

  “Uh-huh.” He looked up. “I was really angry at you.”

  “So you punished yourself? That’s not right. Not that I wasn’t doing the same thing.”

  “Yeah. It wasn’t on purpose; it just felt like I was in trouble for what I didn’t do, so I might as well do things.”

  “That’s faulty logic.” He was given a wink and a hug. “Look, Mike. Truth was you were high. I know now it wasn’t your fault, but you were still high. It could have been much worse if the ISO had done a random drug test the next day at the pool. It’s not your fault at all. But from now on, you’re going to have to be more vigilant. Never accept an open drink from anyone but me.”

  He sighed, shook his head. “I didn’t even get to enjoy it.”

  “I tell you what. Making love beats out being high every time.”

  “No shit. It’s never caused me as much trouble as that stupid party.”

  Jessy chuckled. “If I remember correctly, that’s often the point of frat parties.”

  “Yeah.” He wasn’t ready to laugh about it. Nowhere near. The whole thing still hurt.

  Jessy kissed him again. “You really ready to start the day? Or do you want to come back to bed with me and we’ll hide under the covers and see what comes up?”

  He found a smile, snuggled in. “I think hiding is good.”

  “No, hiding with your lover is good.”

  Yeah. Yeah. “I’m glad to be home.”

  “How glad?” Jessy’s eyebrows waggled, and he backed up.

  He chuckled. “Pretty glad.”

  “Suck me off glad?”

  “Maybe.” Jessy or coffee. Jessy or coffee…. He winked.

  Jessy stopped backing up. “Maybe?”

  Mike chuckled, feeling mischievous. “I might have forgotten how.”

  Jessy started to laugh. “You need me to give you a reminder?”

  “Maybe.” Oh, it felt good to laugh. Really good.

  Jessy kissed Mike hard and then went to his knees right there in the hallway, hands tugging down Mike’s sweatpants.

  Mike’s eyes went wide, arching. “Jess?” He thought he was going to be sucking Jessy.

  Jessy licked his cock from bottom to tip. “You said you needed a reminder how to do this.”

  “Hot. Oh. Oh, I thought….” He thought he’d never feel this again, never know Jessy loving him again.

  One of Jessy’s eyebrows went up. “You’re not supposed to be thinking.”

  “I’m not? See? I told you I forgot.”

  Jessy laughed and then, without warning, swallowed him down, nose buried in his pubes.

  His head slammed back, eyes wide and rolling. “Jess!”

  Jessy hummed around his prick, head starting to bob. Mike went up on his toes, rocking his hips, pushing deep. Jessy swallowed around his cock, hands wrapping around his hips, encouraging his movements.

  “Love. Oh. Oh, I….” He needed. Needed.

  Jessy nodded, moving Mike’s hips until he was fucking Jessy’s mouth.

  “Gonna. Love you. So good.” Babbling. He was babbling.

  Jessy’s blue eyes danced up at him, the sucking getting harder. He bucked, eyes rolling, scrabbling his fingers against the wall. Jessy slid one of his fingers along Mike’s crack, pushing at his hole.

  He went still, panted, eyes on Jessy. “Oh, God. Yes. Please. I want you to fuck me, Jess. Need it.”

  Jessy growled, pulling off his cock and turning him, then pushed him up against the wall as Jessy spread his asscheeks apart with hard fingers. Then Jessy wetted Mike with his tongue, pushing into Mike.

  He shouted, jerking his hips, and gripped the base of his cock. “Yes. Yes. Fuck.”

  “Soon. Let me get you wet.”

  He nodded, groaned. “Yeah. Soon….”

  Humming, Jessy went back to tonguefucking him, sneaking one hand up his body to tweak a nipple.

  “I’ll come. Jess. Please. I’ll come.”

  “Wait for me.” Jessy stood, spreading Mike’s legs a little wider with his foot, pushing his thick cock against Mike’s hole.

  “Oh. Yes. Yes….” He arched, bearing down, the burn sweet and necessary and familiar.

&nb
sp; Jessy groaned in his ear, cock pushing into him, filling him. Mike needed, entire body aching, arching, begging for more, deeper, harder. Jessy gave it to him, gave him everything he needed, pounding into him over and over again. One of Jessy’s hands dropped to Mike’s cock, pumping it.

  He couldn’t last. He didn’t. He arched and squeezed, coming hard. Jessy groaned into his ear, jerking into him a few more times before filling him with heat.

  “Oh, baby….”

  “Uh-huh. Needed you.”

  “Got me.” Jessy buried his face in Mike’s neck and wrapped his arms around Mike, holding on.

  He took a hitching breath, squeezing. Home. He was home.

  And he wasn’t leaving again.

  JESSY TOOK Mike back to the pool the next day. He wanted his swimmer back in the water as soon as possible. He wanted things back to normal as soon as possible.

  Truth was, he was nagged by guilt over this. He should have paid more attention to what Mike was trying to tell him that night. He should have gone to Kathy’s as soon as he’d realized Mike was gone. He should have called back and talked to Mike. There were a lot of things he should have done.

  He paced alongside the pool, watching Mike swim, feeling guilty, wrong in his skin. Mike wasn’t focused, wasn’t into it, was just pulling himself through the water.

  “Mike!” He got his swimmer’s attention and crouched down next to Mike in the water. “What are you thinking about?”

  Mike looked up, treading water. “I…. Stuff? The last time I was here. The weather. I don’t know.”

  He shook his head. “And what are you supposed to be thinking about?”

  “The wall.” Mike shrugged. “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I have stuff in my head.” Mike started moving again.

  “None of it matters. All that matters is the water. Go on, give me some freestyle.”

  Mike nodded, swimming again, trying for him, the effort obvious. He’d let Mike swim it out for today and then take him home, fuck him blind. Maybe they’d talk while they were both mellow.

  He nodded at Jeff Samuels as the UT coach came up.