Cree kisses me gently on the top of my head and stands. I can hear Wild’s protest as the door is shut with a gentle click.
Axel takes Cree’s spot kneeling down in front of me. “What’s going on, Riley?”
“Please, not now, Axel. I just want to clean up and try to forget everything that happened. Is that okay?”
“Of course. Let’s get you in the bath. Can you stand?”
“Yeah, I think I’m okay, Axel.” I stand and slowly make my way to the bathroom door. I can see Axel at my side, forcing his hands to stay at his sides. He wants to reach out and help me but is respecting my need for independence and space.
Stopping in the doorway I look back at Axel. “I’m okay, Axel, but I could really use some space right now. I just really want to be alone for a little.”
I can see the strain on his face but he relents, “Whatever you need, Riley. If you need anything just call out, I’ll wait here.”
“Thank you, Axel.” I give him a small smile before I close the door behind me and break wide open.
Wilder
Standing outside Riley’s bedroom with Cree, sobs sound from the other side of the door and my wolf goes into a rage. Riley’s pain is so thick in the air, it’s enough to choke you. I just want to go to her, to hold her and comfort her. But she kicked me out and wouldn’t even look at me, let alone talk to me.
Cree places a hand on my shoulder seeing my turmoil. Taking a deep breath, I regain control.
“Why did she kick me out? She wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, Cree. What the hell did Alastair do to her?”
“We don’t know what she went through, Wild. Give her some time. When she’s ready she’ll share with us.”
Listening to the sound of the water stop. I hear Riley climb into the tub, her cries faint but they’re still there. So much hurt and pain in that sound. I know what she needs. My wolf tells me.
Fuck! Yes!
”I’ve got to go make some phone calls. I’ll be right outside; when she’s ready someone please come get me,” I inform Cree as I head down the hall to the elevator. Pushing the button to the rooftop for some privacy, I pull the burner phone from my pocket, turn it on and wait.
Making it to the roof, I walk over to the edge to look out over the city. Looking up at the night sky, I whisper a little prayer, “Gods, please let this work.”
Powered on, I hit dial on my only contact. I hold the phone to my ear and wait for the call to connect.
“Hello,” the female voice on the other end states with an air of confusion.
“Did you get my message?” I snap.
“Wild. Yes, I got your message but I can’t be there right now.”
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t be here right now. If you had any fucking clue what he did to her... He fucking beat the shit out of her and stuck her in a coffin. She fucking needs you right now. More than that she needs fucking answers.” My blood is boiling with fury and the need for vengeance.
“Wild, you need to calm down. You are no good to her like this. Now listen to me. Riley is strong. She will be okay. She’ll pull through this and be even stronger for it. Just like everything else she ever went through. I will be there as soon as I can. I am in the middle of building an alliance for the coming war.”
“He said something to her. I don’t know what it was but whatever it was, she won’t talk to me or even fucking look at me.” My soul breaks at that moment as fear of losing Riley takes hold.
“It’ll be okay, Wild. Have a little faith in our girl.”
“Just get here, please. She needs you more than she needs an alliance right now.”
Hanging up the phone, I tuck it back in my pocket and grab hold of the iron banister. My breathing gets heavy as my fear at losing Riley grabs hold of my soul. I fist the banister as I scream my fears into the starry night sky.
Entering the living room, I find Riley and the guys all sitting in silence. Riley’s eyes meet mine and I see the evidence of her pain, not just the physical but the emotional as well. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, her complexion is pale, and what I can see of her body is still covered in faint bruises that neither her wolf nor Axel’s energy was able to heal yet. The look in her eyes is filled with confusion, pain, and anger. “What’s going on?” I hesitantly ask the room.
Riley gets to her feet slowly, untangling herself from her Axel-Cree sandwich on the couch and climbing over Enzo who is seated at her feet. Her eyes never leave mine as she walks up to me. However, mine leave hers the moment her fist connects with my cheek.
“You fucking asshole!” she screams at me.
“Wooh! What the fuck is going on?”
“Why don’t you tell me? What were you doing out there on your secret phone call? Updating Alastair some more? I mean you are his little puppet after all. Doing your master’s bidding like a good fucking dog?”
Shit, fuck, Godsdamnit. This can’t be happening.
Riley punches me again, this time with more force, over and over again pounding on my chest. There is so much fury in her uncoordinated but passionate hits, I am at a loss on how to quell her rage. She ends with a shot to my other cheek causing me to take a step back. I raise my hands with my palms out in a nonthreatening, I surrender kind of way. “Riley, I’m not sure what you think you know…”
“Think I know? Think I know? He fucking told me, Wilder. He showed me the fucking photo you sent him. The one of me that I sent to you, only fucking you. He couldn’t have gotten it except from you. So don’t you dare fucking try to placate me, Wilder. I fucking know you are his spy. How could you fucking do that to me?
“Do you have any fucking clue how hard it has been for me to open up to you all? To let you in, let you fucking see me? You know I’ve been hurt by guys in my past. So, explain it to me, Wild. Justify breaking my fucking trust.”
She stands before me, arms and legs still weak and shaky, jaw quivering on the verge of a cry. Tears pool in her eyes as she waits for the epic explanation I can’t deliver. Frustrated, I shove my hands into my hair and begin to pace. “Fucking hell, Riley. Don’t you think I want to give you an explanation? I never, and I mean never wanted to keep this from you. I always said you deserved to know, but it wasn’t my secret to share.”
Anger boils inside me, my chest feeling as though it’s on fire. Becoming too much to hold inside I turn and my fist ends up inside a wall. “Shit.”
“Will everyone stop putting fucking holes in my walls,” Reed exclaims as the front door swings open.
“Now, Wilder. Get ahold of yourself,” Grace chastises.
Riley
“Grace? What are you doing here?” Not that I’m not happy to see her. I’m just baffled by her sudden appearance.
“Hey, sis. Wilder called me.” Grace walks over to me and gently wraps me in a hug. “He told me what happened to you. About Alastair. I am so sorry he got to you. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.”
Confused by Grace’s statement, I step back and ask, “Grace, what are you talking about? What wasn’t supposed to happen?”
“Let’s sit and I’ll tell you everything. But please listen to the whole story before you react because some of this will be hard to hear.” I nod as we both take a seat on the couch in the living room. Enzo takes a seat on my other side and places a hand on my knee which I immediately grab ahold of. Cree and Axel take the love seat. Reed stands in his usual sentry spot by the large windows and Wild stands near the exit, seemingly afraid of my reaction to whatever it is Grace is about to tell me.
“Start at the beginning and leave nothing out,” I command. Grace nods her compliance.
“You remember my dreams, correct?” I nod my head to her; I remember those all too well. “About a year ago I had a dream about Alastair and you. This wasn’t a happy dream, Riley; it was one full of death and sorrow. You were standing in a large open field, flooded with the blood of the fallen wolves that surrounded you. Alastair stood in front of you holding what ap
peared to be a ceremonial dagger. He killed you with it, Riley.
“I had that same dream three times and no matter how I tried to change it, intervene somehow, the outcome was always the same. A few months ago, it suddenly changed. A man was in the field with you, standing by your side when Alastair suddenly commanded him to his side and the man reluctantly went. The look in his eyes was one of defeat and guilt, he really didn’t want to betray you. I knew what that meant so I started hunting for him. When I found out he was a dream walker as well, I started to visit him in his dreams, the one place Alastair couldn’t control him. Wilder became the key to misdirect Alastair and keep him off your back until we were ready.
“Wilder didn’t want to betray you or spy on you. He wanted to tell you everything for some time, but I told him not to. That was my call. There are circumstances that you are not aware of that made keeping you in the dark necessary.”
My mind begins to swim with everything she’s telling me. All of it becoming so unreal. Something hits then, something she said. “Wait just a fucking minute. You said you started having the dreams a year ago. How long have you been alive?”
Her face becomes blank, not a shred of emotion showing. “That’s one of the hard to hear parts, Riley.” She takes a deep breath, a look of uncertainty flashing across her face before she continues, “I’ve been alive for a little over a year now.”
Anger takes hold of me, my breathing comes in short rapid breaths, and I begin to see red. “Over a fucking year!” I scream at her. “All those nightly dream visits. What was that shit about coming back and being able to hug me here and not finding my name on a tombstone? Were you planning to ever tell me? If I hadn’t been attacked or gone through the withdrawal, would you have ever come to see me?”
Enzo’s hand squeezes mine as I try to stand up from the couch. “Riley?” he asks.
“No, Enzo.” Pulling my hand free I point at Grace as I yell, “She fucking lied to me for over a year. She let me continue to hurt, to die a little more every fucking day. She could have fucking stopped it if she had just been honest with me.”
Stomping over to stand in front of Wilder. I stare into his eyes, seeing the guilt and hurt I state, “I can’t fucking do this right now.” With that, I turn and head towards my room.
“Riley?”
“Not now, okay, Wilder.”
“Alright, babe. When you’re ready I really hope you’ll give me a chance to explain everything.”
Closing my door behind me, I turn the lock and sink to the floor. Hugging my knees to my chest, my strength shatters right along with my heart. The heart that was just starting to mend into a beautiful new picture that included a piece of each of my mates.
“How could I be so fucking stupid? I have known these guys for less than two months. How could I think I could trust them already?”
Mates. My mates. Our mates.
“I get that, but…” my voice breaks on hitching sobs. One of our mates betrayed us. He’s the reason we were kidnapped. He’s the reason we were tortured. He’s the reason we were put into a fucking coffin. I can’t trust him. He broke me.
No. No betrayal. Plan.
It doesn’t matter. It still fucking hurts.
On shaky legs, I stand and make my way to the bed. Crawling to the center I curl up in a ball and shout and sob into my pillow. Letting out all the pain caused by Alastair and his men. By the betrayal of my goofy, fun-loving mate. And from the lies of my only living family.
Chapter Ten
Riley
A gentle knock at my bedroom door drags me from my restless sleep. The light outside my window tells me it has only been a few hours. My body fucking aches everywhere and I swear my aches have aches. A knock sounds again, this time accompanied by a voice filled with worry, “Riley, it’s Wild. I know I said when you’re ready, but I was really hoping you’d let me in so we could talk. Riley?” Rolling back over, I ignore the pleading voice on the other side of the door and fall back asleep, only to find I’m not alone this time.
“Fucking hell, Grace. Get the fuck out of my head.”
“Nice, Riles. Is that any way to greet your baby sister?”
“What the fuck did you expect from me? That I wouldn’t be fucking pissed as hell that you lied to me for over a year? Or that I would be okay with you and my mate conspiring behind my back? Making plans about my life without me. How many of them knew? How many of them were in on the whole thing?” I demand with a raised brow, daring her to challenge me. “Don’t you fucking lie to me either, Grace.”
“Do you want to hear the rest of what I had to tell you?”
“Just answer the fucking question, Grace.”
Plopping down on my bed, Grace’s hands hit her thighs in defeat. “Fine, I’ll answer this one question. But then you will sit there, silently, and fucking listen to what I have to tell you. Understood?”
Grace takes a deep breath and continues, “They all knew but only a few were in on the planning. And only Wilder before a couple months ago.”
My entire world just shattered into pieces. They all knew. They all knew and not one of them could be honest with me.
“The dream I had shortly after returning from Valhalla told me that Alastair would approach Wilder to spy for him. I knew Wilder would deny his request but we both know Alastair has his ways of persuading people to meet his demands. I was able to approach Wilder first, through the dreamscape. I told him what I saw of Alastair and their arrangement. I also told him about you, who you were and how he would meet you, and about your men. He already knew each of them or at least knew of them, which made things a bit easier in the long run when it came time to bring them into this as well.
“When Alastair first contacted Wilder it played out just as we expected it to. Wilder denied his request and in retaliation Alastair threatened him with physical violence. It wasn’t until Alastair threatened those whom Wilder loves, that I fully understood why he sided with Alastair in my dreams. Wilder’s mother and little sister both rely on him completely, Riley. I won’t tell you about them or the situation, but you really need to let him explain his story to you. What I can tell you is they are the only reason he went along with Alastair’s demands. Alastair had left Wilder on death’s doorstep the first time he denied his request.”
Well, holy fucking shit. Wild didn’t want to go against me. Alastair all but killed him when he tried to deny him. Oddly, that increases his endearment levels a smidgen.
“Anyways, we devised a plan to feed Alastair just enough truth amongst a shit ton of false information to keep him pleased, but still guessing when it came to you and what was going on. It was working fine until you met all of your mates. Cree and Reed sort of sped things up with the whole ‘let’s get Riley sober’ rehab. Alastair apparently had another spy on you that I was unaware of. When Alastair cornered Wilder with questions about your rehab and why you weren’t working, he had no choice but to be truthful. While we adjusted, it wasn’t enough to stop Alastair from finding you. Him getting to you yesterday was a surprise we weren’t prepared for. We were supposed to have a couple of years to plan and prepare you to take him head-on. Alastair may seem dimwitted but he’s a mastermind at deceit. You cannot underestimate him, Riley.”
I nod my head, acknowledging her statement while waiting for her to continue.
“You asked who else was a part of the planning." Raising her fist, she puts up one finger. "First Reed. He used, and still is using, his security company to keep tabs on Alastair and his movements. Gathering intel and other important information." A second finger goes up. "Second Cree, because he was the closest to you. As your boss, he was able to keep an eye on you in case you went too far off the deep end. Which you did, and in doing so, other things accelerated as well, but that’s not important right now." A third finger rises on her hand and my blood begins to boil. Were all of my guys in on this? "Third Enzo. At first, he was on the fence about working behind your back, but after your attack… Well, let’s just
say he was more than agreeable to train you. Which you know Cree was not on board with, so to him that was just an added bonus.” That pulls a small chuckle from me, deflating some of my anger. It’s true, Enzo will do anything to poke the bear. “Axel is our hold out. He couldn’t keep a secret from you. Although he was aware of our conspiring he was not actively involved in it so he wouldn’t have to lie to you.”
“At least one of them was not outright lying to me,” I cut in with an eye roll to match my snarky attitude.
“Shut it, Riles. They were trying to protect you while you healed. While you learned to trust someone again. While you got your life back on track. Can’t you see how much they fucking care for you? They are your Gods damn mates, Riley. They would burn this fucking city to the ground for you. So, to keep a few secrets while you figured your shit out, was like asking them to hold your purse while you take three long-ass hours in the dressing room trying on clothes. They’d do it because they love you and they would do anything to keep you happy, healthy, and safe.”
Assessing her expression — her eyes — I see nothing but truth in her words. She’s fucking serious, they love me. Me. Fuck.
“Breathe in, Riley. Let it out. Repeat.” Grace can see the panic in me at the idea of them genuinely loving me.
“Grace,” I whisper. “Fuck. What am I supposed to do with all this? I am still fucking pissed at you.”
With a snorted chuckle she replies, “I get it, I do. You can be pissed at me. I don’t care, because one day you’ll come to forgive me. When you realize that I had to stay away so you could end up at Cree’s bar, meet your mates, and become the alpha you were meant to be. As for your mates, I can’t tell you what to do. However, I can tell you what I would do. I’d listen to them. I’d love them because they truly and wholeheartedly love you. I’d trust them even though it seems impossible. I know it’s scary as hell, entrusting your heart and soul to another person again after what happened, but you need to let them in, Riles.”
Shattered Strength: Shadowcrest Pack Series Book Two Page 8