by J. S. Scott
The two men winked at me and strolled off still arguing about Maine wild-blueberry cake as I turned to Xander and threw myself in his arms. “You’re scratched up,” I said remorsefully.
“Baby, you haven’t seen your own reflection,” he rumbled as he caught me up and lifted me into his body. “Let’s go home. I want to clean up your scratches.”
He swung me around as I squealed, my heart overflowing with a joy I’d never experienced.
Probably because I’d never loved like this before. Not even close.
He put me down, but I’m not entirely sure my feet ever touched the ground as we skirted the fairgrounds to the car so we could go home.
CHAPTER 34
SAMANTHA
“Jesus! What in the hell did you do to yourself, Samantha?” Xander asked gruffly as he ran his fingers and eyes over my naked body, looking for any tiny cuts or scratches he hadn’t already seen.
We’d been in the master shower for at least a half hour so he could make sure none of my injuries were dire. I could have told him that they were just scratches, but I think I secretly liked the way he was fussing over me right now.
Having somebody who cared as much as Xander was something pretty special for a woman who had been alone for over a decade.
“Xander, they’re clean,” I assured him. Honestly, it was a good thing he had hot water on demand or we would have run out of warmth a while ago.
He had an antibacterial wash in his hand, and he’d been using it since soon after we entered the shower. I was surprised the bottle wasn’t empty.
The man needed a distraction. Badly.
I took the nearly empty bottle from his hand. “Give me this.”
“Wait, I’m not sure . . .”
Oh, he was done. I was determined to make sure he stopped worrying.
I put a healthy amount of soap in my hand and set the bottle down on the shower bench.
Most of Xander’s scratches were on his chest and back, minor injuries that had happened when he’d sacrificed his shirt to protect my body as we were leaving the heavy briars, bushes, and trees.
I stroked my soapy hands over the tight muscles of his back, then made him turn so I could get to his chest.
His old stab wounds were visible, and my heart ached just as much as it always did when I thought about what Xander had been through. But I pushed that into the back of my mind, knowing we were starting something new and precious. There wasn’t room in our lives for regrets or guilt.
It was time to start a lifetime of loving each other.
Xander took the brunt of the spray with his back as I stroked down his chest, then farther to his well-developed abs. The man was so beautifully made that I lingered over the happy trail of hair under his navel, following it until I lightly stroked over his fully erect cock.
“There’s no scratches there,” he said in a guttural tone.
“None,” I agreed. “But it feels good.”
“Samantha,” he said in a warning tone that sent shivers down my spine.
“I want you, Xander. Here. Now.”
“Your injuries—”
“I’m not injured. I have a few scratches.”
He tipped my face up so he could see my eyes. Our gazes collided, and I knew the love and adoration I saw in his gaze was shining back at him from mine. It was going to take me some time to get used to his raw, real expression of his emotion.
“I hate seeing your beautiful face scratched up for nothing. If you would have just waited, I would have told you how I felt,” he said huskily as he ran a gentle thumb over the scratch near my mouth.
“I was scared. Sometimes I love you so much it terrifies me,” I told him earnestly. “When I had the slightest hint of you not feeling the same way, it destroyed me.”
“Everything with us has always been real and so damn intense, Sam. Well, except maybe the first time I fucked you like an idiot,” he grumbled.
“I wasn’t ready to give anything right then, either,” I confessed, not willing to let him take all the blame for our first sexual encounter.
“How can you love me, Samantha? How? I’m an alcoholic and an ex-junkie. I’ve hurt my family, my friends, and I haven’t done a whole lot I’m proud of. You? You’re easy to love. You worked your ass off to accomplish your goals. You honor your deceased family. You’re young and beautiful. You see where I’m getting here?”
“I only know who you are now, Xander.”
“Hell, I wasn’t even nice to you when you first came here.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I don’t know you as anyone else except a man who fought through the pain and came out okay at the end of the battle. I love the guy who jumps through hoops to make me happy on a date. I love your creativity and the way you keep trying. I love your thoughtfulness and your determination. I even love your stubbornness . . . well, sometimes.”
“I’ll make you proud of me, Samantha,” he vowed, his eyes dark and tumultuous.
“You don’t understand, Xander. I’m already proud of you.”
“You’re crazy,” he said with a small grin.
“So are you,” I told him as I stretched to kiss him.
He made it easy for me by wrapping his arms around me and lowering his head to my mouth. I closed my eyes and savored the intimacy of his kiss, moaning as his tongue invaded my mouth and entwined with mine.
The soap was still clinging to our bodies, and we slid sensuously against each other, skin-to-skin. I wanted to climb inside him and never leave, but I couldn’t get close enough.
My hands speared through his wet hair and fisted the locks as his mouth lifted from mine. “Samantha,” he growled.
“Fuck me, Xander. I need you,” I pleaded, my head falling back as his mouth invaded the sensitive skin on my neck and shoulders.
“I want to go slow. I want to enjoy this. I was so damn worried that you’d walk away.”
“Never,” I told him adamantly. “I love you too much.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he rasped, his hands roaming over my still-soapy body.
I let my hands slide down his back and to his tight ass, my fingers digging into the firm flesh. “We can do this slow later. I need you right now.”
He turned my body roughly, making me let go of him so my back was against his front. My head hit his shoulder and my arms wrapped around his neck as his hands roamed over my breasts, teasing the taut nipples with his thumbs.
“This is what it’s like to be happy,” he said in a low voice near my ear. “This is what happiness feels like.”
“Yes,” I moaned.
“I love you, Samantha. I’m not sure why you love me back, but I’m not going to question it anymore. You’re mine. You’re stuck with me.”
I opened my mouth to answer, but as his slick fingers stroked through the folds of my pussy, I forgot every thought except the powerful man behind me. “Xander,” I said in a breathless voice.
He urged my foot up onto the bench so he could have better access to what he wanted, and I was nothing more than a mass of trembling desire when his fingers invaded my desperate flesh.
He teased.
He touched.
He stroked until I was ready to sob.
I fisted his hair again as I pushed my body back against his rigid member.
“No more,” I begged.
“Then there’s only this,” he answered as he bent my body over and braced my hands on the shower bench.
Instinctively, I spread my legs wider as I planted my feet, ready for what I knew was going to happen. “Now,” I demanded, pushing my ass back against him.
My head fell forward and my wet hair formed a curtain around my face as Xander dug his fingers into my hips and thrust into me from behind. He went deep, and the muscles of my sheath stretched to accommodate him.
Xander groaned, and I pushed back to impale him to the root of his cock.
My body was on fire, but the sensation of him filling me eased the frustration h
e’d built as he’d played my body a few moments ago.
“Yes,” I hissed, a satisfaction I’d never experienced coursing through me as he moved back and then plunged into me again.
We moved in a dance as old as time, both of us straining for the same goal.
I needed more, but I wasn’t sure exactly what I had to have until Xander pulled me up, turned me around, and then pinned me against the tile of the shower. “Wrap your legs around me, Sam.”
I lifted my lower limbs around his hips, and my whole being sang as our bodies met.
This was what I needed.
I had to feel all of him.
He slammed back into me, and I held on as I felt my climax building every time he entered me. His hands supported my ass, his fingers digging into my flesh as he claimed me in the most elemental way imaginable.
I tightened my legs, surging against him with every stroke. I finally fractured apart with a helpless cry, my head buried in his neck as the pulsations assaulted my body ruthlessly.
“Sam. Christ! I love you so much!” Xander cried out hoarsely as my channel milked him of his hot release.
My body relaxed as I panted against his neck, trying to catch my breath.
As usual, the intensity of emotions that flooded me as I spiraled down left me spent.
We stayed tangled together for a few minutes before Xander finally stepped back and let me lower my legs to the tile.
We rinsed, and when I stepped out of the warm enclosure, Xander was there to enfold me in a big, fluffy towel.
He dried me off, and then himself. My legs felt like limp noodles, but it didn’t matter because Xander was there to pick me up and carry me off to bed.
My lids were heavy, and I snuggled against him as his arms wrapped around me.
Completely sated, I lay there wrapped up in Xander, knowing it was exactly where I belonged.
I’d started this journey not knowing if I could find peace, but I’d found so much more.
I remembered Xander’s words, and they floated through my mind as I drifted off to sleep:
This is what happiness feels like.
I knew now exactly what he meant. It was, indeed, exactly what happiness felt like, and I was pretty sure we both liked it so damn much we’d be in the same state together for the rest of our lives.
EPILOGUE
SAMANTHA
The following summer . . .
I stopped to watch Xander at a distance as he picked up his cousin’s infant daughter, careful but with an experience that he’d gained from plenty of baby handling over the last several months.
We’d picked a great day for a family picnic, and the amount of Sinclairs that filled up the grassy area of the park was pretty amazing.
Nobody had turned down their invitation, and I was happy to see every member of the Sinclair clan present.
Xander was getting pretty skilled at quieting crying babies, and it was a darn good thing, since every one of his Sinclair cousins now had at least one child, and Sarah had just told us that she was expecting her second.
I sighed as I pulled food out of the ice chest and helped Kristin and Tessa get the picnic tables ready for lunch. Both women were still getting around fairly well considering they were each expecting a child themselves in the near future. Their due dates were within a month of each other at the ends of September and October.
“Are you going to tell him?” Tessa asked curiously as she pulled out some of the lobster rolls she’d made at the restaurant to bring to the picnic.
I had a secret of my own that I still needed to break to Xander. I chewed on my lower lip nervously as I plopped chips on the table. “Maybe today isn’t a good day,” I hedged. “Everyone is so happy, and I’m not really sure how he’ll react.”
“He’ll be ecstatic,” Kristin said.
“We never talked about children, and we haven’t even celebrated our first anniversary yet,” I argued.
I had to admit that my husband hadn’t taken much time to put a big and probably very expensive ring on my finger. We’d been married just before Halloween the previous year, and we were happier than I could have ever imagined since then.
Xander was an amazing husband and partner. He was there for me whenever I needed him. He was still in counseling, but he’d cut back as he’d resolved each of his issues, and was requiring limited time with his therapist now.
Really, I swore that sometimes he had it more together than I did. He’d opened his recording studio to a couple of different artists, and was going through the process of developing his own label.
He performed occasionally, but limited it mostly to benefits to raise money for the charities that his parents had always supported.
Meanwhile, I’d turned my finished book in to my publisher, and was nervously awaiting the launch while I wrote a follow-up title.
Tessa smiled at me mischievously. “I doubt your news is going to wait until your anniversary. You’re already starting to show.”
I put my hands protectively on my slightly rounded belly. “Doubtful,” I agreed. “Xander hasn’t noticed yet, but it won’t be long.”
“What haven’t I noticed?” Xander asked curiously from behind me.
“Oops,” Tessa said with a snicker.
“Here. Let me take the baby. Your wife wants to talk to you,” Kristin said as she cheerily moved to Xander and relieved him of his cousin Jared’s daughter.
“What’s wrong?” he asked me with an anxious look on his face.
“Nothing is wrong,” I assured him as I took his hand and led him across the grass with me.
I automatically reached up and clasped the teardrop necklace Xander had given me. I never took it off, and it was like a talisman that gave me comfort.
He stopped and grasped my other hand, making me let go of my grip on the chain around my neck. “Tell me, Sam,” he insisted.
I faced him, my heart fluttering as his dark eyes surveyed me warily. “I know we never talked about this, and I’m not sure how it happened.”
“What? I swear whatever it is, I’ll fix it,” he said earnestly. “You look worried, and I hate that.”
I smiled up at him, my heart in my eyes from his words of reassurance. He had no idea what I was going to tell him, but he was willing to face down any problem for me. “You can’t fix it,” I told him teasingly. “Especially since you caused it.”
“Then I’ll fix whatever I screwed up,” he promised.
“God, I love you, Xander,” I said with a sigh. He was so loving, and he gave straight from the heart. “I’m pregnant,” I blurted out without censoring myself.
His face turned pensive and maybe a little bit confused. “I said I’m pregnant,” I said with a little more conviction. “I’m on birth control, so it shouldn’t have happened, but I’m that tiny little statistic where it actually failed. But some of it is probably my fault. I forgot my shot a few months ago when I had that virus. By the time I remembered, I was pretty late.”
“You were sick.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t get pregnant while I was sick, but I must have put the shot off long enough to ovulate. Sometimes that happens. Are you upset?”
His expression was still incredulous, so I had no idea how he was reacting in his thoughts. Kids were something we’d discussed as a plan for the distant future. I wasn’t certain how he felt about speeding up our life plan.
“Are you okay?” he asked gruffly. “Are you sick? Is the baby all right?”
I put my hand to his cheek and cupped his jaw. “We’re both fine.”
He wrapped his arms around me and lifted my entire body into the air, then spun me around gently. “Then I’m fucking happy,” he answered huskily as he set me back down.
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’m happy, too. Sometimes life doesn’t always go the way we plan, but I’m starting to be okay with whatever surprises come along.”
He grinned. “My little planner has come a long way.”
I kisse
d the side of his mouth. “How could I not be thrilled about having your child, Xander? I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart,” he answered as he stroked my hair. “As long as you and my daughter are healthy, I don’t care when we have a child.”
“You want a girl?” I asked with my heart in a vise.
He nodded. “I want her to look just like you. She’ll be spoiled rotten.”
I burst out laughing because I knew what he said was true. Boy or girl, the kid would be spoiled. His tiny cousins had already proved that they could wrap Xander around their baby-sized fingers.
“It doesn’t matter which sex it is, you’ll be a good daddy, Xander,” I assured him.
He grinned happily. “I can’t believe I’m going to be a father. I was lucky enough to find you and talk you into marrying me. Now I’m getting a major bonus. I can’t wait to tell Julian and Micah. Hell, all of our kids will grow up together.”
“Should we go tell them?” I asked happily.
“Yeah, let’s go,” he agreed readily.
I should have known that Xander would never be anything but supportive. Deep in my heart, I probably had already known he’d be happy. “In a minute,” I agreed as I pulled his head down to kiss him.
He smelled like soap and temptingly masculine, and my heart still tripped every time we kissed. Xander took his time and explored my mouth before he finally lifted his head. “I love you, Samantha,” he said in a suddenly serious, hoarse voice. “The day you found your way to Amesport was the luckiest damn day of my life. Thank you for loving me. It changed my life. It changed me.”
“Your love changed me, too,” I answered tearfully, touched by his honest admission.
I had thought I was going to Amesport to help Xander, but he actually saved me, too. Maybe I had been successful and driven, but I’d never gotten over feeling like I was all alone in the world.
Xander and I just fit. The reason was unexplainable, but I didn’t question it anymore. He filled every corner of my soul, and his family had become mine, too.
I’d finally found the place where I belonged.
He reluctantly let me go, but reached out his hand.