“Thank you.” From experience, I knew people didn’t often change. Shane had, by far, made more of an effort to earn my respect than anyone in my life.
Don’t get me wrong, Shane wasn’t without his flaws. The whole bathroom subject, for instance. He had no respect for other people’s privacy. The first thing I did in the morning was brush my teeth. The first thing Shane did was take a piss while I was brushing my teeth. His clothes were always on the floor in little piles like clusters of mushrooms sprouting from the carpet, and he stole all the covers at night. I shouldn’t complain about the latter, because he was usually tangled around me in some odd position. This wouldn’t have been a problem, but I had an anxiety disorder over being held down, and I usually woke in a sweat. And the hair. I’d yet to broach the subject, but it had to go, or at least put on a leash.
On the other hand, he did have his perks. Like those early morning wake up calls and work outs. The breakfasts that followed. He knew exactly what I liked and how I preferred it cooked. I had no doubt I would have a mimosa on my tray in the morning when room service knocked on the door. The puppies will have been walked. He’ll even keep them out long enough for me to steal a hot shower.
“What are you thinking about?” Shane asked, pulling me from my musing.
“Your flaws and virtues.”
“Shit.”
“I said virtues, too.”
“But you were focusing on the flaws. Admit it.”
“Well, did you ever think that what you might’ve experienced when you overdosed was exactly what you wanted?” I asked. “I mean, I always thought of Heaven as malleable to each individual’s dreams or desires. If you were looking for seclusion, maybe that’s what you received.”
Scrubbing his jaw, he shook his head. “It was an asshole thing for me to say, Emelia. I kick myself for it every day.”
“I know why you said it.”
“It still hurt you.”
“It did, but like I said, I think you’re wrong.”
“You would know better than I would. I’m religiously uneducated. I’ve never gone to a single day of church or Sunday school.”
“That’s a sin in itself.”
“I don’t think I was even baptized.”
“My God, you’re a complete heathen.”
“I watched The Greatest Story Ever Told, and Moses. Ooh, and The Robe. That has to count for something.”
“Who played Christ?”
“Charlton Heston. The best part was when he told Judas to keep his stinkin’ paws off of him.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“What?”
“You just did a complete mash up of Planet of the Apes and The Greatest Story Ever Told. I’m sorry, but you’re unredeemable.”
“So what does that mean?”
“We’re through. I can’t marry someone who hasn’t found God. My papa’s probably rolling in his grave, and my nonna’s making the sign of the cross.”
“Beautiful,” Shane said, tilting my head up to receive his kiss. “I found God. I worship her every day with my body, heart and fuckin’ soul. If I’d had the chance meet your family, I think they’d respect that.”
Chapter 18
You have everything?” Shane asked again. Panning the room, he searched for unintentionally abandoned belongings. It was about the sixth time he asked and the fifth time he looked, despite my reassurance that I had everything. The puppies were growing impatient, whining in complaint. He looked unusually on edge. Perspiration dotted his brow. He toyed with the latch on the suitcase, unlocking and locking it again with a repetitive snap, click, snap, click, snap, click.
“Yes,” I said for the sixth time. “I checked the bathroom, the dressers, the closet, under the bed, and even the balcony. Twice. If we’re missing anything it’s because the dogs probably ate it.”
Shane’s gaze dropped to Rake, whose tail thumped guilelessly on the floor. The male ate half of Levy’s dinner and his entire baggie of cheerios the night before, while we celebrated New Year’s with half of Nampa’s population. He then went on to drink half the toilet water in the bowl, which, in turn, made him pee all over the floor, because the baby sitter couldn’t leave a sleeping Levy alone while he walked them.
“Need a hand?” Marshall asked, vacating his room across the hall. He gestured to the multitude of bags at Shane’s feet.
“Dude,” Shane said in appreciation.
Marshall took the largest, and heaviest. “Jesus, Em, did you steal the sink from the wall or you hiding a corpse in here?
“I moved, Marshall. It’s my entire wardrobe. I wasn’t just packing for the weekend.”
“You could’ve left some of it on the plane.”
“I did,” I grumbled. I had actually taken our cross country tour into consideration when I packed, but I wasn’t sure what was in the remaining bags, so I had to bring a few of them. Even then, I had to run to the Walmart across from the hotel for a few toiletries. Between Shane’s hair and mine, we used up the trial sizes of shampoo and conditioner during our first shower.
Saving me from further ridicule, the bellhop exited the elevator with a handcart in tow. I recognized Coop and Tate’s bags, which were already loaded.
Marshall’s phone chirped at his waist. Evan’s voice crackled through. “Make sure your hands are empty. You’ll need them. We’ve got a crowd outside.”
“Solves that,” Marshall voiced. Just as he was about to load the bag onto the cart, the bellboy held out his hand to take it from him.
“I can take that, sir.” The kid was young and scrawny. He couldn’t have weighed more than I did. From the way he kept glancing at Shane and the ring of sweat darkening the armpits of his white shirt, he was nervous as shit.
“It’s ok,” Marshall assured. “I’ve got it. The thing probably weighs more than you do, kid.”
Drawing my attention from Marshall’s gibes over my bags, the door to Carter’s room swung open. The blonde duo stumbled out. Their cackling resounded up the hall, grating my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. I couldn’t say—yes, I could—they annoyed me because I knew he could do better. He had a beautiful, smart, intelligent woman like Mattie mooning over him, and he was throwing it all away over a couple of road gigs. I wasn’t being mean, but they were brainless. Literally. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt the night before, and struck up a conversation with them, if you could call it a conversation. It was like talking to a fifteen year old.
“Watch your step!” Carter warned. “I know those floors can be tricky!” Winding an arm around the girl’s waist, he ushered her up the hall, strutting his stuff. The second girl rushed to catch up. Carter obliged by looping an arm around her waist as well. A wide, Cheshire cat grin spread across his face.
For a moment, and not the first time, I hated him a little bit.
“What’s wrong?” Shane asked, ever attentively.
“Nothing.”
“You look like a worm just wriggled out your ass.”
Furrowing my brows, I glanced at Shane. “Ew.”
“Just saying—you were just looking at Carter with the same enthusiasm.” Resting his hand at the small of my back, he took Rake’s lead from my hand and began ushering us down the hall, a few yards behind Carter and his guests.
“I don’t think they’re even eighteen.”
“Really?” His gaze dropping lower, he stared at their asses as if they held the answer to the girls’ ages. I made a noise of contempt in the back of my throat.
“What do you think you’re going to find, growth rings?”
“Are you jealous?”
“No!” God no. I was disgusted.
“They’re not my type anyhow. I like girls with an ass you can grab onto.”
Blinking, I glanced askance. Was he saying I had a big ass?
Realizing his gaffe, Shane sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying you have a big ass. It’s perfect.”
“You’re biased. You just said you lik
e big asses.”
“Words, Em. How many times do I have to remind you that I’m not good with words?”
“It’s not you,” Marshall said behind us. “They all do that—egregiously misconstruing things.”
“Nothing was misconstrued, and why’re you listening to our conversation anyway?”
“I’m, like, three feet behind you. It’s kinda hard not to hear.”
“Then back off.”
“Can’t. It’s my job to stick close to your body, because I’m a ‘body’ guard. I guard people's bodies.”
“So Shane,” I said, watching Marshall from over my shoulder. “When you’re fucking me from behind, does my ass shake excessively? I mean, does it look like I’m twerking?”
“Jesus Christ.” Dropping his head, Marshall pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m never going to get that out of my brain. You’ve scarred me, Em. I’m scarred for life. That’s so uncool.”
“Because my ass is that fat you can't bear the thought?”
“Because, like Coop, you're a sister to me.”
“Big help you are.”
“You're right. I'll get outta your way.” Hastening his stride, Marshall walked around us and caught up to Carter, who was waiting by the elevator doors.
“I’m not answering that,” Shane said preemptively. “It’s irrelevant. I love your ass.”
“So it is big.” If it wasn't, he wouldn't have a problem saying so.
“You’re being unreasonable. Would you complain that my dick is too big?”
“Your dick is too big.” I could feel heat creep into the tips of my ears, especially when Shane glanced over, a smug grin sweeping across his face.
“But you wouldn’t change it.”
“No,” I agreed. “I wouldn’t.”
“Well, I wouldn’t change your ass. You have curves, like women are supposed to. Otherwise you’d all look like men.”
It was all irrelevant anyway. The globular shape of my derrière was handed down through generations of Cipollini women, and despite my most fervent prayers, I wasn’t exempt. When I hit puberty at thirteen, it was comical how quickly my assets ballooned into fruition. No matter how hard I dieted or worked out, my ass refused to surrender a single calorie. I hadn’t quite reached Major Lazer status, but in time if I wasn’t careful, I would indeed inherit the much dreaded Cipollini bubble butt.
“Damn,” Carter sighed as we approached for the elevator. He patted his pockets down, searching for something he’d obviously forgotten. “I think I left my lighter in the room.” He disengaged himself from the duo and started backing toward the room, just as the bell for the elevator pinged. “You know what—I’ll meet you downstairs. There’s no reason for you to wait.”
“What’re you having?” the taller blonde inquired. She batted her thick-as-felt lashes at him. “I'll order for you.”
“Anything but eggs. Surprise me.” Turning he strode back toward his room. Neither did Carter smoke, nor did he have time to eat breakfast. He was sneaking out the backdoor so that he could evade any romanticized farewells.
The taller of the two girls stepped onto the elevator and turned to her friend, her eyes glazed with determination. “We should drive it.”
“Totally!” her friend agreed, nodding exuberantly. “We could do it in less than eight.”
“We’ll take turns driving.”
“Oh. My. God. It's going to be awesome!” Leaning their heads together in their own private bubble of giddy elation, they squeed, actually squeed.
Shane, Marshall, and I rode in silence, listening to their plans to surprise Carter in Eugene. I was torn between laughing and vomiting. I bit my tongue as we stepped off the elevator and parted ways. It wasn’t any of my business. I repeated like a mantra in my head. Carter had no problem going to bat for Shane, but I barely knew Mattie. Besides, she had apparently moved on. She had a boyfriend. It wasn’t my place to feel indignant over Carter’s blindness.
“He’s single, Emelia,” Shane told me. “He’s free to sleep with who he wants.”
“I know that.”
“Then why’re you pissed off? And don’t tell me you’re not, ‘cause even the dogs can tell.” Lord, he was right. They were heeling. They never heeled. I actually had slack on my leash. Fiend tucked her tail between her legs.
“It’s just…” I glanced at the two blondes floating into the dining room. They were seriously on cloud nine.
“You like Mattie better?” I could feel my frown deepen. Shane gave me a look, chiding my disregard of his sagacity. “She’s had a crush on him forever.”
“Does he know?”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s not going to happen. Do you know what kind of problems it could cause, especially if it didn’t work out?”
The fallout would be disastrous, possibly the end of the band. Mattie was Jake’s little sister, and he was firm on his stance about dating exes and family.
“Like I said, it’s not going to happen.”
And that was that. I let the subject drop. If I was lucky, I’d never see the blonde duo again. Maybe their car would break down on the way to Eugene. Maybe another blizzard would blow over. Maybe, just maybe, their moms would tell them no, they couldn’t chase some male rock band across this state and the next.
“You can’t help yourself, can you?”
My lips curled into a sheepish smile as Shane grasped my hand and twined his fingers between mine. “No.”
“You asked me before why I bought the dogs for you. Well, you told Jake that they required more responsibility. You like to take care of things. It’s in your nature to nurture.” Even Carter’s love life. “I know some people think of their pets as their kids, so when I saw how you reacted to them at the store, I knew they’d be perfect for you.”
Unable to express in words the affection I felt for him, I rose to my toes and kissed him. “Thank you.”
“Trust me.” Brushing his thumb across my cheek, he smiled down at me. “It was all my fuckin’ pleasure.”
“Let’s go, lovebirds,” Carter grumbled, hurrying past us. “You can fuck face all you want later. We’re heading out. Pronto.”
Shane took my hand and led me toward the doors. Outside, people flocked either side of the entrance. Evan, Derek, Taylor, Marshall, and the hotel security were doing their best to keep everyone behind the ropes.
Carter braced himself and went out the door. He didn't dally with autographs or handshakes. He slid purposefully into the large van and moved toward the back where he could remain inconspicuous.
As Shane and I went through the doors, I was hit with the ruckus of the fans screaming voices. Shane pulled me closer to his side as we rushed through the crowd and climbed in the van. Marshall slid the door closed and rapped on the cold steel, signaling the driver to go.
“Bye bye,” Levy called, waving to the crowd as we pulled away. “Bye bye!” He stretched in his car seat to see out the window. Though nobody could see through the tinted windows, he thought the crowd of fans were waving back at him, and waved harder. “BYE BYE!”
“Oh my gosh! Look Lev, they’re waving at you!” Tate lied. I loved him for it. Levy stared, and then broke into a wide smile. He turned back toward the window, waving exuberantly.
“Bye bye! Bye bye!”
“Do you ever get used to that?” I sighed. The noise. The crowds. I would think one would become inured to it, playing in front of thousands of fans. Absently I wiped my palm across the leg of my jeans. Shane’s hand was sweating. Then again, if he was that rattled, maybe he didn’t.
“That?” Shane scoffed. “That’s nothing.”
“Right.” Sure. My fingers were practically pruny.
“He’s telling the truth,” Carter said. Sitting forward, he leaned across the back of our seat. “It’s flying he’s afraid of. Hates it. Sometimes he even pukes.”
“Carter,” I sighed. Did he always have to be such a jerk? Yes, because it deflected the attention from his own problems.
“What?”
Turning in the seat, I looked him in the eye. “Your girlfriends are planning a drive to Eugene.”
The smiled faded from his face, replaced with a sour frown. “That’s just mean.”
“What you said was mean.”
“What I said was the truth. What you said was mean.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Look me in the eye and say that.”
I did better. I repeated the girls’ conversation, ending with the same vocal gusto. I squeed. And I bounced in my seat the same way they had bounced on their toes. I squeed and bounced. And bounced and squeed.
“Oh God,” said Carter, sitting back in his seat. “You’re not lying.”
“Nope.” The ‘p’ popped on the end, full of insolence.
Carter fell against his seat. “Fuck me.”
“Carter!”
“Carter!”
“Das a bad wood!”
“I know that!” Carter snapped. “So’s bah humbug, kid, but I’m a grown up so I get to say those things!”
Levy sucked a sharp breath, slapping his hand over his mouth.
“Stop the car!” Tate snapped, glowering at Carter. “Pull over right here.” The driver obeyed, sliding slowly to the shoulder of the road.
“What are you doing?” Carter objected.
“Kicking you out.”
“Wha—whe—how am I supposed to get to the airport?”
“Ride with security.”
“You can’t be serious.”
Standing, Tate tugged the door open, attesting his intent. “I’m completely serious.”
Carter stared a moment, deciding whether to protest further, but ended up jumping out of the van. Dumbfounded, we all turned in our seats as he stalked to the SUV behind us. He flipped us the bird a few times while shouting obscenities.
“Does anybody know what’s up with him?” Tate inquired. “What was that all about?”
“No idea,” Jake answered.
Breaking the Habit Page 20