by Beth Burnett
She’s laughing, too. “There’s a free workshop at the Unitarian Church on vibrational healing.”
“What the hell is that?”
“It’s also called energy healing.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay. I’ve heard of that. Leah made us watch some movie about how we are all energy and we’re all connected and you can change your life through the power of belief and positive thoughts.”
“Wow, try not to sound so thrilled about it.”
“It’s not my thing.”
“You might learn a thing or two.”
“So you’re into all of this new agey shit?”
She laughs again. “We can talk about this another time. I’m at work, I have to go.”
We make plans to meet at nine in the morning on Friday. We’ll start with a run and spend the whole day together.
I cut down a side street and head over to Davey’s apartment. Davey isn’t there, but Leah is. I flop on the couch and throw my arm over the side.
Leah perches on the arm chair with a cup of tea. “You look happy, kiddo.”
“I feel pretty happy.”
“How was your lunch date?”
“Maggie is beautiful and warm.”
“Does Heather know you went out with her?”
“We didn’t discuss it, but she heard us making plans about it yesterday.”
“Is that going to be a problem?”
“I’m allowed to have friends.”
Leah raises an eyebrow. “Friends, yes.”
“What are you doing?” I wave my hand at the pile of books Leah has open all over the living room.
“Well, this Friday is my last class. I thought I would take up something else.”
“And?”
“What do you think about doing a tantric sex workshop with me?”
This is a lot, even for Leah. “Leah, I don’t know anything about tantric sex.”
“Well, you could hold the flashcards.”
Suppressing a groan, I keep my face completely impassive. Sometimes, playing dumb is the only defense with Leah. I just stare at her until she caves.
“Well, fine. It probably wouldn’t be your thing anyway. It’s just, I was reading about a tantric sex workshop in New York City, and I thought it would be kind of cool to give one here. I could rent a hall and invite all of the people from Sheila’s seminar.”
“This isn’t New York City. This is Cleveland. People in Cleveland are not interested in tantric sex.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ve talked to hundreds of women who are dissatisfied with their current sex lives. Imagine if they could take this workshop with their husbands and open the door to greater intimacy and a deeper romantic connection.”
“Leah, I don’t want to rain on your parade, but you aren’t qualified to teach a workshop on tantric sex.”
“Not qualified? Who do you think Sting learned about it from?”
Somehow managing to keep my face still, I nod sagely. “Well, okay then. Obviously if you are set on doing this, I’ll fully support you.”
“Good, so you can be the first participant.”
I choke a little and sit up straight. “Participant?”
“Once I get it set up, I’ll need people to register, obviously.”
“Obviously.”
“Do you think Davey and Danny would come?’
A vision of Davey having this conversation with her mother pops into my head, and I can’t quite keep from releasing a small snort.
“No, of course they wouldn’t.” She shakes her head and laughs a bit. “Andy, I know you think I’m a flake.”
“A big one.”
“But I’m not as weird as you think I am.”
“Lately, Leah, I’m beginning to think that I’m the weird one.”
She nods and grins. “You’re pretty straightforward, Andy.”
“Do you know what vibrational healing is?”
“Of course. Do you want an overview?”
I shake my head. “No. No, I don’t.”
“There’s a free workshop on it at the Unitarian Church this Friday.”
“I’ve heard.”
“Well kid, we’re all searching for answers and there are a lot of paths you can follow to find them.”
“I don’t think that’s one of them for me,” I say, smiling.
“Suit yourself, Andy.”
She gets up and walks over to me, rubbing her hand over my fuzzy head.
“You’re searching for something, Andy. Maybe you should work on opening your heart and listening to what it says.”
“My heart is open, Leah. What is it with all of you women thinking that you know me better than I know myself?”
“None of us really know each other, Andy, and none of us really know ourselves. But we can keep reaching out and reaching in and before you know it, you have a keener understanding of what it is all really about.”
“And what is it about, Leah?”
She kisses the top of my head. “Love, kid. It’s all about love.”
Chapter Eleven
Tuesday morning, and I’m back at the bookstore working with Renee again. She’s in a happy mood, whistling to herself as she shelves some new arrivals. I’m perched on a stool, rereading “A Walk in the Woods”. I’m almost ready to drop everything and go hike the Appalachian Trail.
A couple of customers are browsing, but they don’t seem to need any help. It’s just as well. I’m not really in the mood to wait on anyone. Some days, I’m half-tempted to quit this job. God knows I don’t need the money, and I’ve never had a particularly service-oriented personality. Having a job just seems necessary, though. It forces me to go out into the world and do something. It gives me a responsibility. Not that I’m lazy by any stretch. Between softball, racquetball, running, dating, building furniture for friends and family, and occasionally drinking, I am plenty busy. Still, it’s nice to know that I absolutely have to be somewhere, even if it is only two or three days a week.
Renee glides up to the counter and whips the book out of my hand. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work? And does that then imply working?”
“You’re doing such an amazing job, there’s nothing else for me to do.”
“You could dust the racks.”
“Nah, we’ll leave a note for the new girl to do that. She’s too ditzy to handle anything else.”
Renee crosses her arms and looks down on me. “She seems like a sweet person. Don’t be so judgmental.”
“Fine. I’m sure she’s a quality person. I’m still leaving the dusting for her.”
The browsing customers come up with some purchases and Renee rings them up.
“See? I’ve often told Mike that this place can be run by one employee.”
Renee shakes her head. “Obviously he isn’t concerned about making a profit.”
“No, he just likes owning a bookstore. I don’t blame him. Maybe I should buy a bookstore.”
“If you owned a store, you’d have to put in an awful lot of work.”
“Eh. I’d just hire you to manage it, and it would run like clockwork. I could show up now and them to hang out, read books, and flirt with women.”
“That’s what you do anyway and you don’t have the hassle of owning the place.”
“Fair enough.” I decided to change the subject. “Renee. Did you call Maggie?”
“I did. I called her last night and we talked for a while.”
“Hmm.”
Renee looks at me seriously. “Andy…I find her fascinating. She’s very spiritual, and I enjoyed talking to her. But if this is going to cause some kind of tension between us, I’m not going to do it.”
I shrug. “It won’t cause tension between us. I promise. Besides, she’s my long, long, long ago ex. I don’t have any claims on her. In fact, I didn’t have any claims on her then. Frankly, I’m starting to wonder if anyone can ever have a claim on someone.”
“People don’t own each other. They either make a mutual decis
ion to be in a monogamous relationship or they make a mutual decision not to be. It’s when one person wants one thing and the other wants something else that you run into problems.”
“Or if both say they want one thing, but the other is lying.”
She smiles. “That’s even worse. Lying to someone is stealing from someone. You’re stealing their right to make their decision about you based on the facts.”
“Um. Maybe. But you can’t know everything about a person from the moment you meet them.”
“I’m not talking about getting to know each other. I’m talking about willfully lying to someone.”
“Maggie never lied to me back in the day. And I’ve always been honest with the women I’ve dated, too.”
Renee reaches over and rubs my head. I lean against her hand like a puppy. “Your honesty is one of the things I love about you, Andy.”
“Renee, what is the meaning of life?”
She doesn’t hesitate. “Love.”
“Phooey.”
She laughs. “It is. Everything that is good comes from love.”
“I figured you would say ‘God’.”
“God is love.”
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes and wave my hand around dismissively.
We both look up as another customer comes in. Renee goes to greet him. How did I manage to get myself surrounded by all of these sappy women? Yes, I love my chosen family but I don’t go around proclaiming that love is the answer. Love makes the world go round. Leah has a t-shirt that says, “All you need is love.” Maybe The Beatles were on the right track, but love isn’t the only thing a person needs in their life.
Renee returns with the customer and rings up the book she helped him find. I smile and nod as he takes his parcel and leaves.
“Renee, you’re just so good at that!”
“At what? Doing my job?”
“Yeah, you know. Talking to customers, helping them find books, ringing those books up on the cash register.”
“Wow, it’s almost my full job description.”
She shoots a rubber band at me and throws a box of books on the counter in front of me. “Here. If nothing else, you can enter these into the computer.”
“I can handle that.”
Tossing my own book aside, I open the box and start scanning the bar codes into our inventory system. The rest of my shift goes by pretty quickly. I’m ready to leave, though, and I’m happy when Mike and the new girl come in so Renee and I can leave.
“What are your plans?” I ask her as we get out to the parking lot.
“Youth group. I’m filling in for the regular leader. What I’m going to do with fifteen tweeners, I have yet to decide.”
“Take them to the bar.”
“Want to come with me?”
“To youth group? Ha. I’m a little past the age limit.”
She laughs. “You could talk to the kids about the importance of exercise and joining sports teams for fun and fitness.”
“Tempting,” I say, snapping my fingers. “If only I didn’t have to go to my satanist meeting tonight.”
She laughs and gives me a quick hug. “Talk to you later, heathen.”
“Bye.”
I watch her walk toward her car and then dig my cell phone out of my pocket to send a text to Maggie. “Had a great time yesterday. You’ve become more amazing with age.”
She writes back as I’m getting into the SUV. “Age is the truth of it. Time keeps on slipping...”
“Stop quoting that seventies crap at me.”
“Steve Miller Band is not crap!”
“Okay, whatever.”
Laughing as I drive, I try to concentrate on keeping my eyes on the road and only texting at traffic lights. I drop a quick text to Heather saying that I am looking forward to Friday. I make a quick stop into a little store in Lakewood called “Goddess Blessed.” Leah shops here all of the time, but I’ve never had a desire to go in. I was thinking of a present for Maggie and I think I might find it here.
The woman behind the counter is gracious and doesn’t try to make me chant or dance naked or burn incense or anything. I think she can tell that I feel a little weird because after greeting me, she went back behind the counter and is arranging some necklaces on a display. I wander around the store, but nothing is really catching my eye. Finally, I make it back to the counter. The woman behind the desk looks up from her display.
“Can I help you?”
“I need a gift for a friend. Something that says I care about you, but not something that says I want to be your lover.”
The woman laughs. “What’s her sign?”
I know this because everyone in my known universe talks about their horoscopes. “She’s a Libra.”
The woman lifts a necklace from the display and hands it to me. It’s on a longish, thin chain and it has a round token on the end of it. There’s a symbol on one side and the words “Libra” on the other. It kind of looks like something Maggie would wear. Actually, it looks like something Leah would wear. Maybe I should buy one for her, too. “Do you have one for a Scorpio?”
“Of course.” She lifts another necklace off the display and wraps them both for me. Thanking her, I walk back to my vehicle feeling kind of joyous. I suppose I could have bought one for Heather, but now that I think about it, I don’t know her birthday.
My phone is ringing by the time I’m on the road again. It’s Davey.
“Andy, hey.” She sounds upset.
“What’s wrong, baby girl?”
“My mom is in the hospital.”
All of my senses come into sharp focus. “What? Where? What happened?”
Davey is crying and barely making sense. “She was out with Steve and Erik, having a couple of cocktails, and then she started having bad chest pains. The guys brought her to Lakewood hospital and called me. Their giving her some tests now.”
“I can be there in ten minutes.”
“Thank you.”
I pull over for a second to drop a text to my buddy, Karen, letting her know that I won’t be making the softball game this evening and hightail it over to the hospital. When I get there, I call Davey and she directs me to where they are. I slip past a nurse who is trying to wave me over to the registration desk and into a room off the emergency lobby.
Leah is in bed, surrounded by machines, hooked up to an IV, and looking rather pale. For the first time in my life, I suddenly realize that she’s getting older. Still, fifty-six is nothing. She’s vibrant and strong and healthy and full of vitality, but somehow, she looks so frail to me all of a sudden. I smile at her from the door and try to keep my face completely devoid of worry.
“Andy,” Leah says quietly. “You didn’t have to come.”’
“I never miss a party.”
Carefully perching on the side of the bed, I take her hand and hold it. Davey is on the other side. Steve and Erik are sitting in plastic chairs against the wall. Danny enters a few moments after my arrival, carrying a tray of drinks. He passes them out to the guys and hands one to Leah.
“Herbal tea,” he says. “I’m not even supposed to be giving you that.”
“If I am having a heart attack,” Leah quips, “a cup of tea isn’t going to make a difference one way or another.”
“Hmmph.” Davey scoffs and frowns down at her mother.
“Relax, Davey. At least I didn’t ask for a joint.”
Suppressing a laugh, I squeeze Leah’s hand. “So what exactly happened?”
“It was just a little chest pain. The boys were worried so they dragged me in here.”
Steve looks up. “A little chest pain? She grabbed her chest and bent double.”
Erik nods. “She was saying throughout lunch that she felt a little odd. Then she started sweating and holding her chest.”
Leah rolls her eyes. “I just felt a little off.”
“She was pale and shaking.”
“Well, I’m fine now.”
Davey purses her lips. “We’
ll wait for the doctor’s say-so on that.”
Leah tosses her head. “You can’t trust western medicine. The boys should have taken me directly to Dr. Bronner as I suggested.”
“Who is Dr. Bronner?” Danny asks.
“My acupuncturist.”
“An acupuncturist isn’t going to save you from having a heart attack!” Davey exclaims.
“You don’t know that. Acupuncture has been around for...”
“Okay, okay.” My voice is just a little louder than usual. Everyone stops talking to look at me. “Does everything have to be a debate with you people?”
“Pretty much,” Leah grins. “You sound a little testy. Maybe you could use an acupuncture session?”
“Or a kick in the head,” Davey mutters.
She grins at me across the bed. Leah rests her head back on the pillow.
“How are you really feeling?” Erik asks.
“I’m fine. I’m just tired from the pain of being here.”
“You’re here to get better,” Davey cajoles.
“Tell me that the next time they stick a giant needle into my artery.”
Danny winches. “That was brutal.”
“It was pretty brutal on this end as well,” Leah states, glaring at him.
“The sucky thing about this is that you are always so healthy,” Steve says.
“It’s true. I am healthy. I’m an ox.”
“Just because you take supplements and eat roots and meditate doesn’t mean you’re completely healthy.” Davey’s worry is making her bitchy. Moving my head just enough to catch her attention, I give her a look.
Leah is unperturbed. “To the contrary, my daughter. I am naturally healthy. And scientific studies have shown that meditation lowers your heart rate, lowers stress levels, and increases brain activity. It’s important for a woman of my age to increase brain activity.”
“I don’t want to fight about this,” Davey says. “Let’s just focus on...”
She jumps to her feet as a nurse walks into the room. “Nurse,” she says. “What is going on?”
“Everything is fine.” She checks the drip leading to Leah’s arm. “The doctor will be in to see her in a few minutes. In the meantime, there are far too many people here. Emergency room patients may only have one guest during procedures.”