by Danah Logan
When I don't speak, he continues. "Ellis had been laundering money for businesses like your uncle's for years. E took over when his father died and added his own services into the mix. Anything from prostitution to small weapons deals. He had his hands in many ventures. He used drugs to keep his girls in line."
All I hear is my uncle.
I was aware from an early age that Uncle Ronnie, aka R.J. Turner—my father's older brother—was not a good man. He wasn't a bad man either. He was one of the worst. Everyone feared him, which was why I never met him. Gray kept my mother and me far away.
I woke up many nights as a child, listening to my parents fight. R.J. was a few years older and supplied my father with his drugs. Gray had also worked for him since he was a kid, even through his time in the military, which, in the end, cost him just that. He was dishonorably discharged for attacking a superior officer while he was high. But when my father died, so did the mention of his brother. I didn't find out why until later, when Gray came back.
"Uncle Ronnie has been dead since—"
"Since I killed him and faked my death, yes." Gray nods. "My brother deserved what he got." He doesn't show guilt. "Unfortunately, his business didn't die with him. His second-in-command took over. I didn't stick around, as you know, but when I got word that you walked into E's place and asked for a job, I made sure to get involved again. R.J.'s original team was still there, and they didn't suspect an ulterior motive for me to want in. I failed you and your mother because all I saw was the next fix. The drugs and alcohol fucked with my judgment for as long as I remember. R.J. made sure to get me hooked before I hit puberty. When I finally realized what it had done to me—to my family—it was too late. After that, I kept using to forget. I had nowhere else to go. I didn't exist on paper, but I would check on you whenever I was in the US for a job. When Stephanie died—"
His voice cracks for a second before he can compose himself. "I'm not a good man, baby girl. I will never be able to redeem myself. You know just the tip of the iceberg of what I've done in my life. I learned my lesson when the person I blindly followed betrayed me. Then, your name flashed across the screen. You asked for help." He chuckles. "I don't delude myself. I'm aware you only reached out because you had no other choice, but it was my…wake-up call. I wasn't near you. Vic took care of the body and erased the footage. I arrived later that night, drove eighteen hours straight. After we spoke, I made Vic lock me up until I was one-hundred-percent detoxed and no longer needed a fix to make it through the day."
I'm stunned by his recollection. I knew he wasn't there, but I also didn't ask who cleaned up after me. Gray had called me back, ordered me to pack a bag and leave town. I had been curled up in my bed. At every sound outside my door, I expected the cops to burst into my apartment and arrest me. So, when he told me to run, I did.
I have so many questions, yet only one will form. "How did Rae know where you were?"
"Your sister found me many years ago."
She did? "How?"
He doesn't answer. Instead, he says, "We're not far from our destination. Let's keep going."
We drive in silence, and I replay everything Gray has said in my head. Every so often, I glance over at him, trying to find evidence that he lied. That he's not gotten clean for me. But he looks good. He is less gaunt. He has a natural tan, and the gray tint he had for as long as I remembered, from the old pictures from my childhood, is gone.
"Why did Rae warn me that you were on your way to Stonebriar?" I hadn't heard from my sister in years. "Were you going to hurt Wes?"
Gray's gaze flickers over to me, and he snorts. Actually snorts. "No, baby girl. The Sheats boy is of no consequence to me. Do I like that my daughter has a boyfriend? No. But that would apply to anyone with a dick."
"Gray!" I exclaim in disgust. Hearing the word dick out of his mouth is…just no.
His expression sobers. "I came back because when you killed E, many people lost a lot of money. Your uncle's business wasn't E's most dangerous customer. You stopped moving, as I told you. I wasn't happy, but you were safe. Vic and I alternated watching you. It was his turn, then I got word that Vic was found with his throat slit."
Holy shit!
Something in my memory triggers. "Wait…was that the murder behind MPU's track?"
Gray nods, and I touch my hand to my throat while my other arm wraps around my belly. I heard two of my regulars at The Grizz talking about it a couple of weeks ago. This was big news for a small college town like Stonebriar. I didn't watch much news, so all I heard about it was from our customers. I never asked about who the victim was. I had lived through too much gruesome shit in my short life. I avoided the reality of the outside world, aka outside of my bubble, at all costs. Avoid and pretend, as Mags called it one night when I explained myself to her.
"I was on a job and would've been here sooner, but I suspect a business rival or one of Ellis's goons got wind of who killed E. And you being family of R.J. Turner, they wanted to send a message."
My heartbeat accelerates, and I swallow over the nausea building in my stomach. Someone is after me? Wants to kill me? Kill my baby.
Oh, God.
"Dad?" I don't know what made me call him that, but he is as shocked as I am. His head whips in my direction while trying to keep the highway in his line of sight. I blurt it out before I lose my courage. "I'm pregnant."
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I cross my ankle over my knee in a failed attempt to stop it from bouncing—I'm making myself nervous. The whole motion is more than awkward because my six-foot frame does not fit comfortably in the last row of coach. I'm starting to question if this damn seat has less legroom than the ones ahead of me? I've never felt this claustrophobic on an airplane. My mind starts to chastise me: That's what you get for waiting until the last minute to book your ticket—like, literally, the last minute.
I went online last night to check if there were still any seats available. I told myself if the flight was full, I was not meant to go. Joke was on me: one seat left.
"First time flying?" the middle-aged man next to me asks.
I peer at him out of the corner of my eye. "No."
I'm a rude asshole, but that seems to be my usual setting these days. Plus, I haven't had a drink since last night, which doesn't help. I've grown used to the dark, numbing void that Kai's BFFs, aka whatever amber-colored liquid we can get at TMH, grant me each night. However, showing up sauced at my parents' house for the first time in two and a half years is not an option—certainly not on Christmas Eve.
Den's visit over Thanksgiving seems like a lifetime ago. To say she was shocked after I dropped the "my ex-girlfriend is the daughter of the guy who almost killed your best friend" bombshell would put it mildly. If King hadn't disappeared weeks ago, D would've chased her out of Stonebriar herself in her four-inch patent-leather winter boots—the sole winter attribute being knee high vs. ankle. There was nothing winter appropriate about those death traps.
It took several shots of Kai's private stash to calm her ass and prevent her from calling Lilly to sic George on King. If anyone could track her, it was The Ghost—the name George got after disappearing twenty-some years ago. He got injured in the line of duty and vanished like a ghost after that. Why? That's another story no one has been able to get out of him.
I still avoided everyone with a pulse, and the one person who knew King's secret was on my shit list—he had even replaced Rhys at the top. My feelings toward Devon "Kiwi" Kiwinski were… I needed to define them ASAP. The risk of sucker punching his pretty face steadily increased and would most likely end my friendship with Zeke.
During one of my clear(er) state of mind moments, I had concluded that Zeke was not to blame. He had no idea what kind of person Kiwi was when he first stuck his dick in. Kiwi's loyalty was to King—and just King—which Zeke probably had no idea about.
All in all, it was good to get out of Stonebriar. A few days ago, Kai t
hrew a bitch tantrum about my avoidance tactics, and school and practice were on break for two weeks. Despite the extremely tempting option of drinking my way through the holidays, I chose to make my mom happy. I'd been a selfish prick for too long, and my parents deserved better. Den was the only one aware of me coming. She would pick me up from the airport and take me home to surprise my parents.
Home. I had no idea where that was these days. I hadn't belonged anywhere—until King. Was she what turned Stonebriar into home? There was a chance I would never know. She took that knowledge with her when she ran. My chest constricts, and I curl my fingers around the armrest of my seat.
Goddamn her. Why did it have to be her?
I can't wait to get back to practice in less than fourteen days. My hand is healed, and I got the official okay last week. The toned-down version of my workouts was getting on my nerves. I wasn't burned out when Coach blew the whistle, which led to restlessness and resulted in self-medicating myself to sleep. All of this would change when I got back, though. I promised myself I'd concentrate on football, even if I wasn't going to start any more this season. I lost that when I punched a hole in the wall next to Grizz's office.
New year, fresh start, and all that shit.
Mom instantly teared up when she opened the door, and the sense of peace that spread through my coiled muscles told me that I had made the right decision. I would not go another two years before coming back.
Dad and I spent Christmas Day lounging on the couch while my mother fussed over us. I could see that he enjoyed the special treatment as well. I don't think he had to get up once, which only happens when he's deathly ill. My mom is a very outspoken, "you have two feet, get your own stuff" kinda woman—and we love her for it.
I didn't venture out for the first few days. As much as I enjoyed being here with my family, it still felt weird to be back. Lying on my old bed brought back memories I'd rather forget—too much unfinished history.
The unknown of where Rhys and Lilly were spending the holidays also kept me on edge. Were they in town or on the West Coast? I constantly expected Rhys to walk out of my bathroom like old times—when he lived with me. I would hold my breath and then…nothing. I was alone. What irritated me even more was when the realization hit. The space behind my rib cage would feel hollow, like I was missing something. Someone.
A text from Den eventually answers the question to the McGuires' whereabouts.
BK: Hi.
Clue number one: no insult or faux sexual innuendo.
Me: What's up?
BK: I saw Lilly last night.
My heart stutters, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, I squash the tingly sensation the same way King killed our future. No matter how short a time we had together, there was no doubt in my mind that we would've had one—if she wasn't the person she turned out to be.
Me: Cool.
BK: ?
Me: What do u want me to say?
BK: I may have told them that you're here. They want to see you.
I stare at the screen.
Maybe it's time to forgive them, King's voice reverberates in my head, and I squeeze my eyes shut. My chest feels tight while my body heat rises to the point of sweat pooling in my palms. Why does it have to be her that gets through to me? D has tried to talk me into moving past my anger and resentment for years, yet the girl I should despise more than Lilly and Rhys combined is the one that makes me consider it.
Why can't I hate her for who she is? She lied to me.
Me: K
The reply is instant.
BK: K?
The sensation of a thousand insects crawling up my stomach walls increases.
Me: U heard me.
Me: Well, not heard. U know what I mean.
The bubble pops up and disappears several times, and the little clock in the top corner shows that it takes her three minutes to form her response.
BK: Do you want to meet at Magnolia's?
Me: Now?
BK: Maybe.
That would be a yes. I catch myself smiling because I sense through her words that she's squirming. Am I ready? Probably not. Do I want to see them? Before I can talk myself out of it and send D another text, I push off my bed. Let's get this over with.
Me: See u in 10.
I borrow my mom's car and drive to the café we used to spend hours at in high school. When I walk in, it seems like nothing has changed—except for me. The guy who used to frequent this place and flirt with every female that looked at him longer than two seconds doesn't exist anymore. The place is packed with kids from Westbridge High on their winter break. One of the baristas recognizes me, and her eyes light up. She's in her mid-twenties and worked here the entire time I went to WH.
"Wes," she greets me. "What a surprise." Her smile is genuine, and some of my nerves ease.
"Hey, Piper. How have you been?" I plaster a fake grin on my face—one anyone who knows me would see right through.
"Great. How long are you in town for?" She scans me up and down, biting her bottom lip. Is she checking me out? My old high school self fist pumps in my head. Hell yes, we always wanted to have a go with Piper. Instead, College Wes wants to run for the hills—Montana mountains.
"Just a few more days, visiting my family." I've reached my socializing quota and want to order my drink. I'm about to ask for hot cocoa when two arms sneak around my waist. "Hey, grumpy."
Piper glances behind me, a frown wiping the flirty look away, and I chuckle. Finally. Twisting, I lift my arm and drape it around Den's shoulders. "Hey, BK." She punches me playfully in the stomach as I place a kiss on the top of her head. Two figures hover behind her, and I draw in a deep breath as I hold Rhys's stare. His expression is impassive, but his locked jaw gives him away. I know the guy better than myself sometimes. Correction: knew him.
My eyes flicker to the side, and Lilly smiles carefully at me. I force the corner of my mouth up, but then realize I don't have to put any effort into it. It feels…natural.
"Hi, Wes," she says softly and shuffles closer to Rhys, who interlaces their fingers.
"Lil." I should probably greet him as well. Facing my former best friend, I dip my chin in Rhys's direction, and he mimics my gesture.
"Well, that's almost civil. Next time, maybe try a verbal greeting with this manly head bobbing," D remarks dryly from somewhere tucked under my arm.
I shut my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from bursting out laughing. Shaking my head, I face the three. "I'll order. What do you want?"
"Oh, you don't ha—" Lilly begins, but Rhys cuts her off.
"Let's go find a table, babe." Guess he can read me, too. That was my way of saying I needed a moment to collect myself.
Their drinks are not hard to memorize, Lilly asks for her signature Earl Grey, and Rhys wants coffee—black. Hesitating at first, Den follows the other two to a table by the window. My phone vibrates, and of course, I find Den's three-line-long custom beverage demand on my screen. We have to work on her using the word please.
With a chuckle, I place our order, and while I wait, I take stock. The emotional tsunami that sent me into a tailspin last time I was confronted with them is not present. Huh, interesting.
Everyone is sipping their drinks. How long have we been sitting here? This is beyond awkward.
My hands are wrapped around the mug, and I'm staring at the cocoa when Lilly's voice breaks the silence. "How have you been?" Her tone is careful, and Rhys stiffens at her attempt at small talk.
"Pretty good," I lie. Den clears her throat but doesn't make eye contact with anyone.
"That's good," Lilly replies.
Several more minutes of this deafening silence passes, and I can feel the vein in my neck throb. Am I wasting my time here? Every muscle in my body coils, and I swallow over the simmering frustration. Finally, I have enough. I came here for a reason—one that, up until this moment, I wasn't sure I was ready to accept. But I'm here. They're here. I had let the disappointment
in my friends and their actions, as well as my pride, drive me to seclusion from everyone I cared about in my life. I miss my old self. I miss my friends. At that realization, my chest immediately feels lighter. "I understand why you did it," I say to no one in particular.
There are audible intakes of breath, and I lift my head. Meeting Rhys's gaze, I repeat myself. "I get it." Then I add, "But that doesn't change the fact that it was a shit move."
"I know," he agrees without breaking our stare down.
"I told you I didn't want the money. You made an idiot out of me." The more I say, the more my pulse turns to rapids in my veins. "Pine Hill would've never looked my way if it wasn't for your bribe," my voice rises. I snap my mouth shut, not wanting to cause a scene. All the hurt and humiliation comes flooding back and is magnified by the events of the last three months.
A hand lands on my thigh, and Den silently wills me to tell them—confide in Lilly and Rhys about King. I should, yet I can't. I shake my head, and she glowers at me disapprovingly.
"Wes." Rhys directs my focus back to him. When he has it, he leans with his forearms on the table and continues, "I made a mistake. I was selfish, and I want to make it up to you. Tell me what you need from me, man."
He sucks in his cheeks. I glance over at Lilly, who is chewing on her lip.
Picking up my mug, I take a big gulp of my cocoa, my throat suddenly feeling drier than Kai's latest conquest—his words, not mine.
"So, you're getting married?" I divert. I have no idea what he can do. It's not that easy.
Baby steps, a voice I don't want to hear whispers in my mind. I squeeze my eyes shut.
Why won't she leave me alone?
I count to five and blink. My…friends—yes, friends; this is my first stride in rebuilding and forgiving—study me with confused looks. I lift my brows, prompting them to answer my question.
Lilly stretches out her hand, and I whistle, peering at Rhys. "Dude, did you sell the R8 for that thing?"