Scarred by Love

by C. A. Harms

  “Damn it Riley, it is important. You think what you saw was more than what it truly was. You need to know it wasn’t. I’m sorry for falling asleep like that with her, but baby we’ve done that for years. It just seems natural between her and me. There is nothing between us but friendship.”

  I watched her eyes gloss over and it made my chest ache and burn.

  “Ry please, believe me. We’ve never had to think about how our relationship looks to others. I can see how it looks to you though and I’m sorry.”

  I pulled the covers aside and slipped in next to her. I was only wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt. I had left the house so quickly I didn’t even bother to get dressed. I just grabbed my wallet and keys and jumped on my bike.

  I removed both my keys and wallet from my pocket, placing them onto her nightstand, before bringing my body to rest over hers. I looked down into her eyes.

  Three words floated around in the back of my mind but I pushed them aside. I didn’t want Riley to feel like I threw them out there because of what happened. I needed her to know that I meant it when I said it, so I decided now wasn’t the time.

  “Riley I’m sorry that I made you cry. I don’t like that at all. I need you to believe me when I say you are the only girl that I want.” I kissed her swollen lips softly. “You are the only girl I dream about.” I kissed her once more, “The only one I fantasize about. I want you and only you.” Her leg fell away and I inched my way closer, until I was tucked perfectly between her thighs.

  I traced her lower lip with my thumb and it trembled against me. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry.” I took her lips with mine, gently. I slowly devoured her tongue and moaned into her mouth. “You mean so much to me Riley…so damn much.” I felt her tears against my cheek and I kissed just below her eyes.

  She looked up at me, “Don’t leave okay?”

  I shook my head telling her I wouldn’t. She laced her fingers together behind my neck and pulled my lips to hers. She began to kiss me once more, wrapping her legs around my waist tightly.

  Our kissing heated up quickly and I ran my hand up her thigh to grip her hip. She wasn’t wearing anything under her shirt and my eyes shot open. I pulled back to look down at her. How the hell was I getting out of this one?

  “Don’t.”

  It was the only word she spoke.

  “Don’t what Ry?”

  “Don’t stop it.”

  Oh fuck me…how could I tell her no? If I did then she would feel like I didn’t want her. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to stop it anymore.

  So instead of thinking about it I just pushed on. I slipped my shorts down my legs and pulled my t-shirt over my head. The only two pieces of material still separating us was her shirt and my boxers.

  I let my tongue trace her lower lip before sliding down her neck. She let out an aroused sigh and I pushed my hardness against her center.

  I was ready to take this step in our relationship. I wanted her to know how attracted I am to her. I needed her to know how badly I wanted her.

  “Do you have anything?”

  Her voice broke the silence and I looked up from her neck where I had been kissing and nibbling softly.

  “Yeah, in my wallet.”

  She reached above her head and grabbed it from the nightstand handing it to me.

  I quickly removed the condom from the inside pocket and dropped the wallet to the floor. I held the condom in my hand while I went back to kissing her neck.

  I lowered my body back down to hers and lifted her shirt slowly. I began kissing across her stomach as I let my hand roam lower. Once I felt her wetness I ran my finger over her slowly. Spreading her arousal over her folds and then I inserted my finger inside her warmth. Riley moaned and arched herself upward. I began fingering her slowly and using my thumb to rub her swollen clit.

  “Oh my god…yes. Don’t stop!”

  I grinned and kept up with her request. After a few minutes her body began to shudder and I felt her muscles clench tightly around my fingers.

  “Damn.”

  Her hips bucked forward as she rode out her orgasm using my fingers to drive her to completion. Her body had a thin layer of sweat covering it and I ran my tongue over her lower stomach. She shivered and I pulled my fingers out from within her to open the condom.

  Riley removed her shirt and threw it to the floor. I felt like I couldn’t get the condom on fast enough. She looked so gorgeous lying before me. Her body was perfect and I took a minute to admire it before I raised myself up and over her once more.

  I guided my cock to her wetness and pushed forward just enough to tease her. I ran the head of my cock though her wetness and silently cursed the thin layer of barrier between us. I would have given anything to feel her fully. When I began to push into her she gasped and bit her lower lip. I slowly slid into her until I could go no further. I took a few seconds to kiss her before I began to move inside of her heat.

  “Baby you feel so good.”

  I buried my face in the crease of her neck and slid out slowly. I sat up onto my knees and lifted her hips up to meet me, slowly sliding back inside of her. I watched between us as she took all of me inside and let out a deep moan.

  “Zander…please faster.”

  I chuckled, “Faster huh?”

  “Yes…oh god please.”

  I gripped her hips and began to move into her faster and harder until she screamed out my name. That was all it took to drive me over the edge. Hearing my name fall from her lips as her insides squeezed tightly around me, I had no fighting chance.

  I slammed into her once more before I collapsed on top of her, both of us gasping for air. I could feel her fingers running through my hair and I slowly slid out of her lowering her hips back to the bed.

  “I’ll be right back.”

  I crawled from the bed and went into the bathroom to clean up. When I got back into bed with her, I pulled her tightly against me. She was silent and I started worrying about what she was thinking.

  “Are you okay?” She just nodded her head against my chest. “Are you disappointed?”

  She giggled and I felt a little better.

  “I’m far from disappointed you nut job. I’m exhausted; you were right it was so worth the wait.” She sighed and I relaxed my shoulders.

  “Hell yeah it was. You do know now you’re not gonna be able to keep me off of ya.” I felt her laughed against my chest. “Get some sleep baby.”

  Riley fell asleep in my arms quickly and I lie awake listening to her breath for a while before I finally fell asleep myself.

  ***

  Waking up with a naked Riley was the best damn thing ever. I felt every inch of her against me and couldn’t help my instant reaction. I needed to think about puppies or something because I didn’t have another condom with me.

  She kept wiggling her ass against me trying to get comfortable and I felt like I was being tortured. There would be no way to get rid of my erection if she didn’t lay still.

  Eventually her movements stopped and I heard her giggle into her hand. “Oh yeah really funny, that’s just cruel.”

  She turned to face me, “How is it cruel?”

  I looked down at Riley beneath me and her breasts were pressed against my chest.

  “I only had one condom Riley.” She smiled and pointed to her nightstand.

  “What?”

  “Check in the top drawer all the way to back in the corner.”

  I slid open her drawer and felt around. Sure enough she had a brand new unopened box of Trojan’s hidden. I held the box up in front of her. She shrugged her shoulders, “I bought ’em last week.”

  I leaned forward and kissed her, “Smart…smart girl.” I felt her smile against my lips.

  Over the next hour I made her come a total of four times and each time she screamed out my name I felt like jumping up and throwing my fist into the air. The look on Riley’s face when she was at her peak was so damn sexy.

  We took a
shower together and we had to make it quick because we both had classes, and due to our morning Sex-a-thon we were already running late.

  She walked me to my bike and we said our goodbyes before heading out for the day.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ~Riley~

  Oh my god…sex with Zander was mind boggling. I felt like I was floating and I didn’t want to come down. I had an extra skip in my step all day and I wanted to savor my memories of it.

  Class flew by in a blur and to be honest I don’t remember much of it. As I was leaving my class I heard my name being called out. I looked around and my eyes landed on Grant. He was walking in my direction quickly. I almost turned and walked away but he smiled and I told myself I would stand my ground.

  “What do you want Grant?”

  “Listen Riley I want to apologize…for everything. For kissing you that day at my parents, after you told me you only wanted to be friends. I’m sorry about that night at the bar, I was drinking and I was a jerk.” He smiled, “Can I buy you a cup of coffee to say I’m sorry…Please?”

  I don’t know why I agreed but I followed him to the Student Center and accepted his gesture. I don’t know maybe I was hoping to find out from him why he and Zander hated each other so much. Maybe he could shed some light on the entire situation.

  We sat down on the bench outside and talked for a little while. He talked about the internship he would be starting next semester and a fundraiser party they were planning to throw at his parents’ house. He got silent for a few seconds before he continued.

  “So how’s it going dating Zander?”

  I rolled my eyes and grabbed my bag to stand. “You know what? I knew it would be brought up. I should have trusted my gut. I knew you were up to something. My relationship with Zander has nothing to do with you.”

  “No Riley, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be pushy. I was actually just wondering how you were handling it. It has to be hard wondering if they were messing around together this whole time behind your back.” I shook my head and looked at him confused. “I always knew they had feelings for each other but to drag you through their game of denial was just wrong.”

  “What are you talking about Grant?”

  He stood up and looked me directly in the eyes. “Zander and Beth…I saw them yesterday afternoon at Marco’s pizza. He had her wrapped in his arms and he kissed her right after that he told her he loved her and always would. It was in plain view of anyone around them. When I asked him about you, he just told me to mind my own business and that I shouldn’t worry about you so much.”

  My knees were wobbling and I was having a hard time remembering how to breathe.

  “Riley are you okay? Do you need to sit down?”

  I just shook my head, “No thanks Grant. I need to get going. Thanks for the coffee and the talk. I got another class in twenty minutes so I need to get myself moving.”

  I practically ran to my car. I couldn’t fight the tears anymore. How could I be so stupid? All their touching and grabbing each other right in front of me; just friends my ass.

  I texted him…

  What are you doing?

  His response was quick.

  Just sitting at home. What are you doing?

  Can I come over and talk?

  I held my breath waiting for him to respond.

  Can it wait an hour I need to run over to Assholes house and sign a couple papers?

  I guess it would have to wait.

  Okay call me later.

  I felt empty and miserable. What the hell was I gonna say to him.

  Oh hey by the way Grant told me about you and Beth. Does she know that you and I spent the morning having sex?

  What a jerk, I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. I felt like such a fool.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ~Zander~

  “So do you want me to ride along still?”

  I looked up from my phone in my hand. “Yeah I need someone to stop me from doing something stupid. Come on I wanna get this over with.” We made our way outside and Beth climbed onto the back of my bike and I handed my helmet to her. When she had it strapped on I sped down the road toward my father’s house.

  He called me earlier and told me the lawyer’s needed my signature for some final paperwork regarding my mother’s will. I wanted to get this all handled so that I would no longer have to deal with him. This was our only tie.

  Beth waited outside while I ran up the front steps and rang the doorbell.

  Queen Bitch, with a stick up her ass, Victoria, answered the door. “Where’s he at?”

  She glared at me, “Do you always have to be so rude Zander? I’m sure your mother raised you better than that.”

  “Listen here lady…leave my mother out of this. In fact don’t even talk about my mother. You aren’t good enough to even think about her. And if we’re judging here, maybe you should take a closer look at the scumbag you raised.” Victoria gasped in disgust.

  “Enough you two, Zander come to my office.” I brushed past her and followed the asshole down the hall. “You need to learn to respect her…this is her home Zander.”

  “You know what? I didn’t come here for a father and son lecture. Let’s just get this shit over with.”

  My father turned to face me, “But I am your father Zander. I want to be here for you. Can’t we just move on from the past and start fresh?” He slid the papers across the desk and I bent over quickly scanning and signing each form.

  “You’re joking right? You and me start over? You’re more delusional than I thought.” I took a step toward him trying to contain my anger. “You gave my mother a thousand dollars to have me aborted when you found out she was pregnant.”

  His eyes grew large at the fact that I knew that detail.

  “For eighteen years, you just threw money in our direction so we would continue to stay away. You didn’t want us ruining the image of your perfect little family. Well guess what old man, I don’t need you and I sure as hell don’t want you in my life.”

  I was so fucking pissed I felt like I could explode. I had so much anger toward him for hurting my mother all those years. Every time I was near him my emotions went wild and my anger skyrocketed. I knew when it came to this house and these fucked up people I went nuts. They had that effect on me and I couldn’t control it.

  I barged out of his office and went for the front door. When I got to my bike Grant was just pulling into the driveway. I needed to leave now because I knew if I didn’t I would get myself in trouble.

  “Well if it isn’t the happy little couple. Speaking of couples, Riley and I just shared a cup of coffee and a nice long chat. I think we may be able to be friends after all.”

  I started to walk in his direction when Beth grabbed my shoulder from behind. “He isn’t worth it Z…lets go.”

  I fought the urge to strike out. I had so much attitude built up within me at this point. I needed to get far away from this place.

  We drove around for about thirty minutes and Beth didn’t say a word to me. She just held me tightly and let me work it out in my head.

  I was just turning left near the main drag when I saw Riley walking out of a little sandwich shop. She looked up and saw me at the stop sign. When her eyes landed on Beth on the back of my bike her face fell. I hung my head and pulled my bike to the side of the road. Riley didn’t walk to me right away. She looked toward her car like she was debating on the idea of just leaving.

  I turned my bike off and Beth swung her leg over the side. “Hey I’m gonna get a drink and let you two talk.”

  She smiled up at Riley before slowly walking toward the café on the corner.

  I took a few steps toward Riley and my eyes met hers. “I thought you were busy?” Her voice was just above a whisper.

  “Yeah, I was. Beth just rode along to keep me level headed. She always seems to help me keep my cool. She has the ability to keep me calm.” When she flinched I regretted saying it. It c
ame out all wrong.

  “I could’ve ridden with you, if you would’ve asked me.”

  I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to sound like an ass but I was still feeling wired from the trip to asshole’s house. To be honest, I wanted to keep Riley away from that part of my life. I hated who I became when I was around my father. I was the worst version of myself; Riley was too sweet for that shit.

  I didn’t want to fight with Riley. I honestly just wanted to punch something or scream.

  “Is there something going on with you two? Please just be honest with me.”

  I turned to face her and it all hit me at once. All the anger built within me spilt over and Riley just happened to be the one in the line of fire.

  “You know what? I don’t have to stand here and explain anything. In the end you’re not gonna believe me anyway.”

  I took a step toward her, but Riley backed away holding her bag and drink close to her chest.

  “I know all about your little coffee date with Grant. So he already told you everything and you already believe him. You’ve got this image created in your mind and I’m just gonna have to spend every day defending my friendship with Beth. You want me to be the bad guy Riley? Then fine…I’m the bad guy. Beth is in my life; she always will be in my life. I’m done making excuses for our closeness.”

  I turned back toward my bike and I heard her whimper behind me. “I’m sorry Zander; I didn’t mean… this won’t work. Not like this.”

  I was beyond pissed about everything in my life right now and I didn’t think before I made my next step. I turned to face her once again. “You’re right Riley this isn’t working anymore. I can’t be who you want me to be. I’m over it. I don’t want this anymore. Just run back to Grant…because we’re done.”

  The moment I said it I wished I could’ve taken it back because the hurt that filled her eyes broke my heart. I stepped toward her and she dropped her bag and drink before turning around and running to her car.