by Lara Swann
All I have to do is stand at the top of a large rise, with the royal family nearby, and wait. There are people spread out beneath me, watching and waiting with me, and one clear path all the way down and through them, then winds its way through some trees until we can’t see it anymore.
From what I’ve been told, the basic idea is that Derek will start at the beginning of the path and run through to get to me. People from each of the places we’ve visited - and throughout the country - will line the path, and this is their chance to help or hinder him, depending on whether they want me for their Princesca. It’s not as cast-iron as the court’s voice in the matter, but it gives them a chance to be heard - and if he meets too much resistance, then that will be a serious factor in whether the Princesca-attenciano eventually succeeds.
Mostly, though, Derek said that the people use it as an opportunity to bargain - throwing their support behind us if Derek can convince them, usually through some generosity. I find the idea of that ingenious, and find myself standing there amused, hoping that they get something decent out of him.
The only downside is that I’m not going to see him - or anything that’s happening - until after he makes it through most of the path. And waiting on a hill with three people - the King, Queen and Crown Prince, since Adele didn’t feel it was wise to come this far - that don’t talk to you isn’t that interesting. But a little bit of boredom is hardly the worst experience I’ve had of Aldora’s ceremonies.
It takes an hour or so, but eventually I see Derek - slightly sweaty but with a triumphant grin on his face that makes my heart lift - bursting through the trees and running up towards us. He waves to me as he does, and I can’t help it - I wave back, and feel myself laughing.
That’s not part of this. I’m pretty sure he isn’t supposed to do that. But it makes me smile - and even though I saw him only a few hours ago…I’m excited and on edge to see him running up towards me.
Maybe it’s the spirit of the moment that’s infecting me, but I start to see a few benefits to all these traditions. After all this hard work, and everything we’ve had to do…it does feel like a damn achievement to see him coming, exultant and glorious.
My Prince.
I can’t help it - I let myself think it. Just for a moment.
When he gets to the hill, instead of slowing down his pace increases and he practically charges up to reach me. It’s silly - he probably won’t even have enough breath to actually talk to me when he gets here - but I smile slightly giddily anyway.
And I’m wrong. He can talk.
Because the moment he reaches me - suddenly standing right there in front of me - he bows grandly, then drops to one knee. It looks almost exactly like when he first did it, a lifetime ago in our European History classroom - except that we’re outside, surrounded by greenery and people, and he’s wearing a thick, royal uniform and we’re completely on display.
Still almost exactly the same.
“Hanna, my Princesca-attenciano.” He announces loudly, though I don’t know how far his voice is really going to carry. I think I can hear the murmur of words going through the crowd as people repeat what he’s saying. “I have come to you with all my people behind me, and we ask - with all our hearts, and minds, and souls - that you join my royal family and become as much a part of this country as I am, and we are. I’m asking you here, today, to become our Princesca.”
The words are traditional - I know that, I’ve seen them. They’re a little bit adapted, a little more emphasis on become a part of this country, but they’re not his.
Except that when he’s looking at me like that, it feels like they are. It tingles along my skin and builds in my chest and I feel like I want to explode with the answer. And when I do…it almost feels like it’s me doing it.
“Yes.” I say, slightly breathless despite not having run all that way.
His grin lights me up inside, and I tell myself it’s all just fantasy, and we’re playing it very well, and no one is going to mind when it all comes crashing down…
Then he raises my hand to his lips and kisses it, and I stop telling myself anything at all. Especially as he follows it up by standing in one swift movement and pulling me in to kiss me properly.
It’s totally wrong. Doesn’t fit with Aldora’s culture at all. And I can’t get enough of it.
I can feel the moment of stunned silence - but then we get the same kind of reception we did at the opening of the tour. Maybe even more so.
He doesn’t go too far - doesn’t draw the kiss out even though I’m burning and desperate for him - before turning us both back towards the crowd and raising my hand again. The noise redoubles around us, and we slowly turn around so people on all sides can see us.
I glance at Derek’s family as we do - and even more surprising, I think that Nicolas might be smiling. Maybe his mother too. Not his father, of course. His mouth is still set in the usual grim line. But that brief moment somehow makes this even more special.
The celebration goes on throughout the night, despite the fact that this isn’t actually the official acceptance of me as Princesca of Aldora. I haven’t even met all the criteria yet, so nothing is confirmed…but everyone around us is starting to act like it is.
I want to ask Derek about it - except that after that beautiful ceremonial moment…he goes quiet on me. He’s distant and skittish around me, and I swear whenever he looks at me he seems almost…guilty. But he won’t say what’s going on, and I don’t want to press with all these people around.
I just can’t shake the feeling that despite how blissful everything was today, despite how well the whole tour went and how his family and people are finally starting to approve of him - something is very wrong.
* * *
I don’t find out what it is until two days later.
After our tour of Aldora, we have a debrief with the royal family - and then he insists on taking me away for a few days. He wants to show me some of Aldora without us being watched the whole time, and take me to some of their private, family places.
No one objects. After the week we just pulled off, I think everyone is more than willing to give us some time to breathe and enjoy ourselves for a bit.
And it’s a lovely idea - except that he still can’t look me in the eyes properly, and I think he’s avoiding talking to me.
It isn’t until we get out into a remote wooden cabin built into the mountains that he finally tells me what’s bothering him. We’re in the most gorgeous part of Aldora, and this mountain cabin is built next to a stunning lake - with no one else around for miles. I think this is one of the best places we’ve been to so far, but I can’t concentrate in the slightest - until I finally make him sit down and tell me what the hell is going on.
“I wasn’t supposed to make it to you.” He says, running a hand through his hair. “In that last ceremony. I was planning for…I don’t know, something to happen. I could’ve slipped and fell, or lost at that ceremonial fight, or…anything. That’s what Nicolas did—”
“What are you talking about?”
He sounds utterly miserable, but he’s not making any sense.
He lets out a deep sigh. “This isn’t meant to work out, remember? You’re not actually meant to get confirmed as my Princesca. You have your own life, back in America, and this was always just…a summer fling.”
Something inside me twists at that. It’s what I’ve said all along. A summer fling. Nothing important. Just helping him out and enjoying myself while I’m here.
But fuck…it kind of hurts to hear him say that. I’m not sure why, and I know it shouldn’t - he never wanted a Princesca, not a real one, and I never wanted to be one. But…
“I was planning on throwing that last ceremony - if I hadn’t got to you, that would have been a nice, easy end. It’s what I think Nicolas did with his Princesca-attenciano a couple of times, and it would have worked.” He raises a hand to the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. “But…when I was doing it…shit, I th
ink we did too good a job, you know? Everyone was so positive and enthusiastic - they barely stopped me at all. They were meant to hold me up, make it difficult, but…I guess I got carried away with all of that encouragement, and…well, you know what happened. And now I’m not sure what to do. Even my parents seem to be supporting us now, and it’s a nice endorsement and all, but…”
“But the whole point of this was to stop you from getting tied down to a Princesca.” I say, finally articulating the problem, even though there’s a knot in my gut the size of a stone.
He’s silent for a long moment. Long enough that I wonder whether he’ll say something else. Whether he might have changed his mind, or…something…
But that’s just this stupid part of me, and a silly fantasy that I haven’t been able to let go over the last couple of days.
The ‘what if it was real’ fantasy.
“Yes.” He finally agrees. “And I can’t think of another chance now, for everyone to reject you. There are some more hurdles, but…the way it’s going…and besides, you’re leaving for Europe in a week. You don’t even have time to hang around for them.”
A week.
I can’t believe it’s so soon.
My dream trip.
The one I’ve been planning with my best friend for years.
And all I can think at him is…ask me to stay. For whatever crazy hurdles are next, or stupid ceremonies and traditions he needs me for. Ask me to try…
It’s a stupid idea. He’s right. I have a life in America. I’m not a Princess. I’m not Aldoran. This was never meant to be for me - it’s just a role I’ve been playing. A role I was supposed to be shit awful at. A role I probably am shit awful at, but I’ve had a few lucky breaks, and he’s been there, and…suddenly, I’m confused.
But he doesn’t say anything, so it doesn’t matter. He was never going to. He wants freedom and independence - he wants a life in America, at least for a little while longer. Not being stuck back in Aldora tied to a Princess who fell into the whole thing by a fluke.
I lean back in the armchair I’m sitting in, curling my legs under myself and watching the fire that we’ve got heating the place. Aldora isn’t exactly a cold country, but up here in the mountains it gets chillier at night - and Derek said that the family prefer to heat the place with fire for effect. I can see why.
“I’m sorry, Hanna.” Derek’s voice sounds almost defeated, and it tugs at me to hear it. “I never should have brought you into this mess in the first place. You were right at the start - it was a stupid idea.”
Well, if you had any doubt…
I shake my head. It’s obvious what he wants.
And, a few minutes later, the answer occurs to me. Not the answer I want, but the one that will work.
“We can still get out of it.” I say softly, staring into the fire. “What if I reject you?”
I can sense some reaction from him out of the corner of my vision, but I don’t turn to look. I continue with the thought, speaking as it works itself out in my mind.
“I could say that I couldn’t get to grips with your customs - that I want to leave, that I don’t want to be your Princesca. You might be tied by traditions and ceremonies and all of that…but I’m not. I could just…go. Tell them no, that it’s all too much and I don’t feel like I fit. I mean, I almost had a panic attack just meeting your people. Sure, it got better - but they don’t really know that. We could act like I was just trying to make it better, but…it didn’t work.”
It sort of feels like a lot of things didn’t really work, right now.
“Hanna…” I can’t read the tone in Derek’s voice, but it doesn’t matter.
I’m building steam with this idea.
“It might give you the ammunition you need, too - to get them to rethink the traditions you’ve always hated. If I really was…” I swallow slightly. “If the people really did like me, a little, and I leave you, maybe there will be a bit more support for change.”
I try to ignore the crushing guilt that wants to swamp me. The idea of what those people I talked to might think of me. I stood on that hill two days ago and I said yes.
I said yes.
That only worked because something else was supposed to turn us down - the idea was that we were both striving towards my acceptance, and it wouldn’t be our fault that it doesn’t work out.
It wasn’t supposed to be me letting them down.
But I tell myself it doesn’t matter. I’m leaving, and it’s not like foreigners ever come into Aldora without an invitation anyway - I’m never going to come back. I won’t see any of the people I disappoint, and they’ll get over it. One day, Derek will find another Princesca, one he’s serious about, and then—
I stand up abruptly, glancing over at him.
“It will work, Derek.”
Then I start walking towards the door to the bedroom we’re sharing.
“Where are you—”
“I’m tired. I want to go to bed now. But think on it - it’s a good idea.”
He doesn’t say anything as I slip into the bedroom, closing the door behind me. Not something I normally do, but right now, I can’t think about Derek.
Things have gotten all mixed up and confused and I need a little time to work through it. Maybe a lot of time.
I lie awake for a long time that night, but Derek doesn’t come and join me.
Chapter Twenty
Hanna
By the time I wake up the next morning, I’m in a better place.
I’ve spent the night reminding myself exactly what this whole thing was about, and all the good things I’ve enjoyed because of it - and mostly, it works. I never expected - or hell, even wanted - anything else, so it’s really not that surprising that the silly-crazy-fantasy in the back of my mind didn’t actually happen.
And when I come out into the main room, Derek is a lot more cheerful too. He’s cooking us breakfast, and the moment he sees me, he smiles and comes over to pull me into a hug.
For one brief moment, that feels almost weird, but then the warm familiarity of him creeps over me and I sigh in appreciation.
“Something smells good.”
“Eggs and avocado.” He says, kissing the top of my head. “I almost added bacon, but then I remembered.”
“Ew, thank god for that.”
He laughs, then turns to go back to the cooking. I watch his ass in tight jeans as he walks, admiring the view. And it almost feels the same between us as it did a few days ago.
“Did you think about what I suggested last night?” I ask.
I figure he must have - there’s no other reason he’d be in such a good mood today if I hadn’t fixed that problem for him.
For one brief moment, something too quick to identify flickers across his face, but then he relaxes again.
He concentrates on the eggs as he responds, trying a forkful. “Yeah, I did. You’re right - it’ll work.”
I nod, and to my surprise the slight stab of disappointment isn’t too painful. It was, after all, entirely predictable.
“So when we get back, shall—”
“Shall we talk about it then?” He asks instead, cutting across me. I frown, but he continues, abandoning the eggs for a moment to come and stand next to me. His hands hover on my hips, and I can’t help the way seeing that powerful body right here makes me want him almost instantly.
“I was thinking, Hanna.” His eyes wander slowly over me, and the heat in them is obvious. “I’ve had an amazing summer with you - and I owe you more than I can say for all the shit you’ve put up with. I said I wanted to bring you here for a few days and show you some of Aldora - let’s do it properly. End your vacation in style. Let’s make the most of the time we’ve got left, hmm?”
I’m…not enamored by the idea.
It’s a nice thought, but I’m not sure how much fun I’m going to be able to have with the thought of letting down his whole country hanging over me.
“I already know the perfec
t places to take you.” He continues, and as I look up into the warm, eager expression on his face, I can’t bring myself to say no.
I’m too tempted.
Another few days, alone with Derek and enjoying everything that’s grown between us? Before I have to give it all up for good?
“Okay.” I say, and I try to smile.
He leans down to kiss me, brushing my lips with his and then deepening it until I feel my pussy clench with desire - and the reminder that we haven’t had some proper alone time for quite a while.
By the time he’s finished, I’m smiling for real.
And it turns out - he’s right.
I was worried it would be hard, just being reminded of what I’m about to lose…but it’s not like that. Every moment between us seems special and rare and precious, even if I know I’m being ridiculous about it.
We laugh and joke together, enjoy the time away from what feels like everyone watching us, and talk about anything and everything. Well, almost. We seem to avoid thinking about what’s going to happen when we get back.
He’s right about knowing exactly where to take me, too - and I find myself at the site of the most beautiful cathedral I’ve ever seen. I know immediately that it’s not the biggest or grandest - but it’s elegant. Exquisitely designed and decorated, with unique architectural flourishes and a stunning setting, looking out over mountains all around us.
“My god, Derek…”
He grins at me.
“This is just the first one.” He says, wrapping his arms around me from behind.
I hold onto those arms, tilting my head back and gazing up at all the impressive frescoes and displays.
“First one?”
“We’ve got sites like this all over Aldora. Some of them are in ruins, but…they’re still pretty impressive.”
Ruins, too?
Ruins of a place like this can be almost better than the place itself.
“How come I’ve never heard about any of this? Carly and I are trying to fit in all the wonders and monuments we can on this trip, and not once did anything about these places come up—”