by Lara Swann
She gives me one long look, but her expression is more harried than fiery. “No, we really don’t.”
I fold my arms. “You had no problem with it yesterday.”
Somehow, my let’s stay here and ignore the world plan had worked yesterday - I got a perfect night-and-day-and-night with Alana tucked up in my arms, under my body, writhing and squirming against me…
My cock throbs again, and I try not to curse.
This morning was not looking near as promising.
“We didn’t have lectures yesterday!” She says, waving her arms emphatically, as if that means something.
“Hun, you can miss one, it’s not like it’s a big deal. Everyone else does it.” I try to reason.
Shit, I’ve never had to talk a girl into fucking before.
But it’s more than that, and I know it - I just don’t want her to go out there again. I don’t want us to leave this little bubble where she’s safe and I’m getting laid and we don’t have to face whatever reality the fucked up world wants to throw at us.
Where I don’t have to walk around with constant images of how she might get killed flicking through my mind.
“I’m not everyone else.” She throws me a glare, and I know this isn’t working - but it’s pricking my temper anyway.
Why the hell can’t she be like every other college student?
I change tack, coming up behind her as she pulls a brush through her hair like it’s mortally offended her. Or something has.
I wrap my arms around her and start placing little kisses along her neck. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, hun. But it’s just one lecture, and there are so many things we could—”
“It’s not just one lecture, Caleb!” She whirls around to face me, then breaks out of my arms and backs up a step. “Look, it might not mean anything to you, but my father is paying a fortune for me to be here, learning all of this. He’s worked hard all his life putting money away to give me this opportunity, and I’m sure as hell not going to let him - or anyone else - down!”
I just stand there for a moment, briefly too stunned to respond.
“Maybe it’s not the same for you,” she continues blindly, “but if your father put in half the effort mine has to get you here—”
I laugh.
I can’t help myself. It comes out ugly and bitter and completely derisive, but I can’t hold it back as I stare at her.
This stupid, naive girl. Who hasn’t got a god-damned clue.
Ranting and raving about living up to the dirty money that got her this place. The same money that’s put me right here too.
For fuck’s sake.
My coarse reaction cuts her off, and she just looks at me for a moment, wide-eyed and unseeing.
When I finally stop, there’s a long moment of silence - and I’m actually fighting with myself not to blurt it all out. To tell her how ridiculous she sounds. I can feel the irony and frustration and resentment building in me, wanting that outlet.
“Caleb…” She starts, obviously unsure.
Then my phone cuts both of us off, shocking me out of that long, drawn out stare.
Sullivan.
Fuck.
I blink, then jump to search for it immediately. This isn’t a call I can miss.
Fucking hell. Fuck fuck fuck.
“I have to take this.” I say brusquely, as I finally retrieve it. “Go ahead - you’ve got your lecture to get to.”
She gives me one last confused glance.
Go. Fucking hell go. I can’t answer this with you here. Get out of here.
I ignore the fact this is her room, and I’m effectively trying to kick her out. I just need her to leave.
“I’ll make sure it’s locked on the way out, okay?” I try desperately to think of a good reason for this. “I don’t want my call making you late - go ahead, I’ll catch up later.”
I talk casually, as if we weren’t just in the middle of an argument - as if I hadn’t just been on the edge of telling her everything, and for the worst reasons.
Despite all that, she finally obliges, giving me an uncertain look on her way out, and then I’m slamming the answer button. Sullivan is going to fucking kill me if this goes dead—
“Caleb? Where the hell were you?” Sullivan grunts in my ear immediately.
“Just talking to your daughter, boss.” At least that much is true, “Couldn’t pick up with her around.”
“You’re talking to her?” I can hear the frown in his voice. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Caleb - it would be too easy to slip up, make her suspicious, if you get too close.”
Yeah, you’re fucking right about that. Pity about how we’ve spent the last forty-eight hours then…
I reign my out-of-control mind in hard and fast. Sullivan is too good, even over the phone, and this is a secret I’m going to have to take to my grave - or it’ll take me there.
“I’m living next to her, boss - I just saw her as I came out for morning lectures.” I try and keep my voice calm and casual - professional - but I can’t take my eyes off the door Alana just left through.
That one motion, even more than Sullivan’s call, had sent reality smashing back into me. I’d wanted her out of here…now all I can think about is the fact she’s out of my sight.
Unsafe. Unguarded. No one to watch her back.
“—careful, you’re in a…position…” I can’t focus on what Sullivan is saying over the sudden rushing of blood in my ears.
Adrenaline surges through me as I think of Alana - all alone. Fuck. I need to get moving.
She might be a pain-in-the-ass naive girl, but…she should have someone protecting her. Keeping her safe and blissfully innocent.
“Boss,” I interrupt. God-damn, I never interrupt. “Do you have an update for me? I need to go now, if I’m gonna be able to stick close to her. I don’t want her out there alone.”
Also true. And genuine enough he’ll probably forgive the disrespect.
There’s a moment of silence on the phone, then another grunt. “I just called to tell you that you’ll be sticking around there a bit longer - we haven’t got any leads yet.”
That’s news? It’s becoming fucking standard procedure - every week, he needs another week of this crap.
“Sure thing, boss.” I hesitate, then add, “Are you looking into whether the threat is credible, too? I mean, nothing’s happened…”
“I think it’s credible.” Sullivan’s voice is harsh on the phone, and there’s something else there too. “I got another message this morning.”
Chills run down my spine, and my body practically burns with the inaction. Anything could be happening out there. Fuck this.
“Understood, sir.” My response is crisp and clear, no sign of what’s going on with me.
One. Two. I’m not going to push him again. I’m not going to. Three…
“Good. Okay. Get after her then.” Sullivan’s last order finally comes through. Thank god. “Oh - and Caleb? Sounds like you’re doing a great job. Really, I appreciate it.”
He clicks off, and even with my need to get after Alana, I’m left staring at the phone for a moment.
Sullivan doesn’t say shit like that. He just doesn’t.
Fuck. I’ve no idea what that means.
And then I’m suddenly swamped with an uncomfortable feeling of…guilt? That’s not something I ever feel.
My eyes flick around at the rumpled sheets, the chaos we’ve made of Alana’s room, the obvious evidence of our passion.
My body starts moving, shrugging clothes on within moments before I dart out of the door. It’s used to acting under pressure, out of instinct and without guidance - which is a damn good thing, because my mind feels slow and confused, too conflicted about everything I’ve just done.
I don’t regret it. I can feel that as clear as day. This weekend has been one of the best of my life.
And Sullivan…hell, I don’t owe him that much. Not after everything I’ve done for him, and being le
ft in this shit-hole for weeks. It’s just that I might end up dead for my trouble, that’s all.
But I’m not the kind of guy who can play by the rules and toe the boundaries even if I tried, so to hell with that.
I just…don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I was meant to be gone by now. A quick screw, no one needs to know about it, then out - done, back to Baltimore.
Now I’ve got to stick around and keep talking to Alana. And there’s no way in hell that can happen anymore without us fucking like rabbits too.
Ah, fuck it - go hard or go home, Caleb.
I’ll take this shitstorm as far as it goes.
And just fucking hope Alana and I make it out alive.
Chapter Eleven
Alana
I sit in the lecture hall and stare straight ahead. Dutifully copy down everything the professor writes on the board. And don’t hear a single word.
It’s the first time I can remember being so unfocused - my mind buzzing with how I left Caleb this morning, what we did together this weekend, what the hell is going to happen now, just…everything.
Ironically, after everything I snapped at Caleb earlier, it’s turned out this is the one time I don’t actually want to be here.
Not that I’d take whatever morning-fucking-routine he was expecting instead.
Who the hell does he think he is anyway?! Maybe we had fun, but this is my education, damn it!
Mel and Lily keep looking at me, too, and I can only guess at the stream of questions I’m going to get when this finally comes to an end. I disappeared for the whole weekend, and now I just know they’re expecting every detail.
That thought makes me flush again as my mind skims back to the sweet, seductive pleasure of the weekend - Caleb’s sure expertise and confident sexuality…the things he showed me, did to me, let me do…
Fuck.
I’ve never been a sex-crazed college girl before.
I go to lectures. I focus. I study hard. There’s no way I’m changing that now.
Even if part of me feels sorely tempted.
Despite Caleb’s ridiculous temper this morning. His strange behavior. The brief glimpse of pure…condescension in his face for a moment there.
God, what was that about?
I keep thinking that I really don’t know anything about this guy. And then I keep thinking that I don’t even care.
Fucking hell, Alana. Stop it.
I force my eyes back to the slides looming over us at the front of the lecture hall, but I’ve zoned out and I haven’t got a clue what Professor White is saying anymore. When did this become so hard to follow?
“Psst…Alana…” Mel whispers beside me, and I glance over at her. “What the hell happened to you this weekend?”
Oh no. Definitely not.
“We can’t talk about that now.” I hiss back.
“But, I want to—” Mel starts, her voice creeping up an octave, as I knew it would.
“After.” I interrupt hurriedly, looking around. “I’ll tell you after.”
I’m not entirely sure I intend to keep that promise, but there’s no way I’m becoming the set of girls whispering and disturbing everyone at the back of the lecture hall.
Though, since we’re right at the front, there’s no chance of at least part of that.
I glance at the clock instead. Only thirty minutes in?
Oh, fuck it, if all I’m going to do is spend this time thinking about him, maybe I should’ve stayed with Caleb this morning. If only to yell at him some more.
Then I look over my shoulder, back towards the rear of the lecture hall, instinctively wanting to search him out. But it’s dark back there and I can’t see anything. He probably isn’t here anyway - he made his view on the value of education clear this morning.
I hesitate at that, wondering if I’m just being unfair. He was just having a good time and maybe he got carried away, didn’t want to let the weekend end. It’s hardly the worst crime - probably pretty normal, for a college guy who just got laid.
But you’re not like that. And he can’t get pissy at the idea of you going to lectures. It’s fucking ridiculous.
Ugh. This sort of over-thinking never happened with Andrew, and Caleb is just a casual one-weekend thing. Maybe.
I lean my head on my hands and force myself to stop thinking about him. The way we left it this morning, he’s probably realized that the girl he hooked up with is actually the super lame type planning on passing exams and doing well instead of fucking every moment of the day or night. And that’ll be the end of his interest.
Nice and simple. A bit of fun, as Mel said. And hey, at least I finally got to experience fucking good sex.
By the end of the lecture, I’ve just about managed to convince myself that’s exactly what’s happened, and I think I’m feeling pretty good about it. I mean, how often does someone like me get to hook up with the hot, mysterious guy on campus and have mind-blowing sex for a weekend?
So when Mel accosts me outside the lecture hall, I actually feel halfway ready for the questions. Empowered. All those things girls are meant to feel about sex and men these days.
Even if I’m going to have to borrow their notes for the whole of that lecture.
“So?” She starts.
“So what?” I retort out of habit more than anything.
“Oh c’mon, Alana. What the hell—”
“Um, Mel?” Lily interrupts, “Can we at least head towards the lunch hall before you start this?”
I laugh as Mel huffs. “I thought you wanted to know as much as I did!”
“I do,” Lily grins and starts walking, glancing behind her as she does. “But I’m starving, and I’d rather be sitting down with food for this kind of story.”
“Alright, babe.” Mel gives a surprised laugh and takes my arm as she starts following after Lily.
“What’s gotten into her?” I mutter to Mel, watching Lily’s back a few paces ahead of us with a little admiration.
Lily’s always been more than happy to go along with whatever Mel or I are doing - and I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of lascivious smile on her face as she looked back at me.
“Ohh, that boy was over at hers last night.” Mel pretends to roll her eyes, but she flashes a grin at me, and I can tell she’s excited. “Thomas—something. You know, I think the attention is good for her—”
“Are you two talking about me?” Lily glances back over her shoulder, then finally falls into step on my other side now that it’s obvious we are following her.
“Yes,” I say at the same time Mel says “No” with a cheeky grin at Lily, who sticks her tongue out in response.
I laugh. “What are you two? Twelve?”
“Not if Lily got up to what I think she did last night.” Mel quips, and Lily elbows her as we walk into the lunch hall.
Their antics make me laugh, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt so free and light-hearted. Even after the strange way I left things with Caleb this morning, I can tell I’m feeling good from our weekend. Sexy and fun, and on top of the world. Mel was right about having more fun this year - and from the way their eyes are shining too, it’s been good for all of us.
We settle down with food, the familiar hustle of students around us as we grab a few comfy chairs and sit around a low table.
“Okay, now you really do have to tell us.” For once, it’s Lily who insists as I dig into my sandwich, pointing a carrot in my direction with a dramatic wave.
“Me?” I grin at her, thinking of Mel’s earlier comments. “It sounds like you’ve got just as many stories to tell.”
To my surprise, she doesn’t blush in the slightest, laughing instead as she returns my grin. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. But…there’s not much to say. Tom came over last night, that’s all - he was sweet, made me dinner, and…we had a good time.”
I meet her gaze with an even smile. “Sure. And that’s all that happened between Caleb and I too - we had a goo
d time.”
I wonder briefly how ordering pizza stacks up against making dinner, instinctively comparing Caleb with this guy I’ve never even met. Probably not quite as impressive. But then, the things Caleb did with the time he saved there…mm, I think that definitely counts for something.
“To hell with that!” Mel exclaims. “You were gone the whole freakin’ weekend, girl. Didn’t pick up your phone once. If I hadn’t been so sure I would’ve been interrupting, I’d have been knocking your door down to check you were still breathing, babe.”
Lily and I laugh, amused as ever by Mel’s enthusiasm, and I shake my head at her.
“I would have been interrupting something, wouldn’t I? Please at least tell me that.” She entreats.
A small thrill runs through me again as I think back on our passion-filled weekend.
“Yeah, okay. You definitely would’ve been interrupting.” I admit, to her hoots of laughter.
“Yess, I knew it! Finally, girl.” Mel exclaims, sitting back to eat with a smile on her face.
“What do you mean, finally?” I narrow my gaze at her.
“Oh, c’mon. You’ve been sore about guys ever since Bryan made those comments…” She shrugs, and I feel a flare of annoyance.
“It didn’t have anything to do with that.” I insist, “I was just…focused on other things last year.”
I’m pretty sure that’s true. I mean, sure, Bryan wiped out any attention I might’ve gotten - and by the time the rumors cleared up, my interest in guys had disappeared - but I was focusing on my course work. Just like Mel and Lily.
“Well, I’m glad you managed to clear your schedule for Caleb.” Mel’s expression is still happy and light, and it shifts my mood back again. “So…was he good?”
I laugh at that. I think it’s the question I’d been waiting to hear from her since I slipped into the lecture a couple of minutes late.
I have no intention of answering it. But, somehow, when I meet her eyes, I can’t help the smile that breaks out over my face, and I just know that says everything.
Her grin widens and Lily laughs next to me, making me turn furious shade of red for a moment.