“Amanda, what the hell?” he asked, Looking up at me, straining against my hold on his arm.
The valet rushed back outside. “Is everything all right, sir?” He asked Johnny, probably assuming I was some groupie or criminal.
Johnny nodded to the valet and he returned to his post. I stared down at him. My blood pressure was at an all-time high as he wriggled his arm underneath me.
“Amanda, let me go,” he demanded.
“No! I’m not going to let you go anywhere. What the hell do you think you’re doing? You can’t leave…not alone like this. You know it’s not safe.”
“I need to get out of here. I’ll be back in a while.”
“You have to take someone with you when you go. What were you thinking?”
“Get in.”
“What?”
“Get in the car, Amanda. Now.”
I let go of his arm and walked around the front to get in the passenger side.
“I needed to get away from that hotel room,” he finally said, his voice much softer than before.
I ran my hand over my face. “You can’t just leave, Johnny. You could have been hurt.”
“I don’t care anymore. I won’t be caged up.”
“We need to get back upstairs, it’s not—”
He took my hand from his face and put it back into my lap. “I’m not going back up there right now. So either stay with me, or get out.”
Wow. I didn’t expect that.
“With those two options, do I really have a choice? I guess I’m going on a ride with you, then.”
“Fine.”
I buckled up and relaxed into the seat. Neither of us had anything else to say.
He drove down the Strip, all the way past the Luxor. He then turned onto a side street. About two blocks in, he parked outside an all-you-can-eat buffet. I had no purse, no weapon and my phone battery was low again. We went inside and waited to be seated. I silently wondered how long it would take for Fred and the guards to notice we were gone. They may have assumed we were in Johnny’s room.
Who knows. No one called.
At this time of night, the buffet was busy, but not overly so. It was a large, modest restaurant, and the food was simple, but well-presented—American binge eating at its finest. We were both starved, and wasted no time walking the food lines to fill our plates. We barely exchanged any words. It was the usual pleasantries that could be heard at any dinner table—‘pass the salt’, ‘would you like more water?’, and who could forget, ‘are you gonna finish that?’ He probably asked the last question to make nice.
I was on the final few bites of my second plate when he excused himself to use the restrooms. No one had recognized him to that point, so he insisted on going without me. I finished my plate, and he had not yet returned, so I put down my napkin and went to look for him. I got to the men’s restroom and peeked in as the odd man entered or exited. At one point I called out Johnny’s name. He did not answer.
God. Two frantic searches for this man in one night?
Maybe Johnny wanted to ensure I was earning my keep. Christ, this was getting old. I looked back and forth down the corridor. I stood there a moment, wondering where he could have gone, when two strong arms laced around my waist from behind.
“Listen, woman,” Johnny said in my ear, full of self-assuredness. “You are going to forgive me right now, and you’re going to let me kiss you and make it up to you.”
I tried really hard to ignore the scorching heat that radiated off his chest and into my back. I could not. I tipped my head back and soaked it all in. There was no resisting him now. He kissed the top of my head and moved back to kiss me softly against my neck. I held my breath when he turned me to face him. My body urged me forward, to step into his arms and remove all the space between us, emotionally and physically. Something held me back. There was a small voice in the back of my mind, telling me not to forget about the profile and the lies. I couldn’t do it. I had more trust issues than I knew what to do with in the best circumstances. It wouldn’t work.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, Johnny.”
“You mean you won’t.”
“Okay fine. I won’t. We need to get back now. Have you settled the bill?”
“Yes.”
He walked past me and back down the corridor toward the front door. I followed him out. He was visibly upset, but still held the restaurant door open for me to exit, and the passenger side car door. He did not say a word to me when we were both inside, or for the trip back to the hotel.
We got back upstairs. The guards were out at the door. One looked over at us in amazement. They did not even know we had left. I told them everything was fine, and we went inside. I was looking forward to getting to bed—without Johnny—but it appeared there was more in store for me tonight.
Chapter 6 - Johnny
This was torture. I felt like shit. Being within feet of Amanda with no communication or physical contact messed me up. There was no way I could sleep now. My next performance was less than twenty-four hours away. My mind should have been focused only on getting ready to entertain. Yet every time I moved, caught a glimpse of her or thought of anything other than music, she would be right there, at the center of it all. There was no avoiding that. She still had a job to do, and it involved staying close to me.
Fuck.
I should have told her, but now that she knew, I wished she would get past it. Amanda was done with me. She made that clear tonight. Maybe finding my online profile was the last straw for her. She had been through a lot these last few weeks. It could not have been the main reason she was stepping back, but it sure as hell gave her decision to back off a lot more sticking power.
The drive home had been awkward and silent. If I had held on to any hope that the next week would give us a chance to work things out, the past two hours had smashed it to pieces.
She wanted nothing to do with me.
Once we were back in the hotel suite, Amanda went into the den. I got a water bottle from the kitchen and started walking to my room. She came out of her room, and I caught her out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look, only to find her staring right at me.
“I’m going for a run in the gym downstairs. Fred’s in the next room, and the guards are at the door, so they can…”
Her voice trailed off.
“So they can babysit me.” I finished for her. “Yes. Fine. I’ll be here.”
“It’s for your own safety, Johnny. If something were to happen to you…” She paused. I waited eagerly for what she would say next. “It’s not just about the job.”
I went into the bedroom suite with my water, and heard the door close when she left.
* * *
Nearly an hour later, the front door opened again. I had left the bedroom door open, and heard her light footsteps in the hall. I turned to look. Amanda stood in the dim hallway, doing stretches against the wall. She was in her running gear—a dark sports bra and a pair of tiny black shorts. Her body glistened with sweat. My cock sprang to life at the sight of her sweet ass and sexy legs. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her body.
She went to the den. I followed, telling myself I would let her know again—she was not sleeping in that little love seat tonight. I stood at her slightly open doorway, about to knock. Through the narrow space, I noticed she had started to strip out of her gear, not realizing I was right there. I felt some guilt as I watched, but hell, it was not enough guilt for me to look away. My need for her was too strong. She took off the sports bra. God, I could reach in and bury my head between her breasts. I held back a groan. She slipped out of her shorts and disappeared into the bathroom. Moments later, I heard the sound of the shower spray hitting the wall. I turned and returned to wait in the living room.
“You’re a dog,” I whispered to myself. My cock was rock hard. I used up every ounce of self-control to stay in my room and not go to her.
; A few more minutes passed and she emerged, dressed in a long sweatshirt.
“Oh hi. You’re still up?” She asked, walking toward the kitchen.
“Yeah,” I answered. “Look. I’m sorry about everything.”
“Okay. We should get some rest.” Her voice was back to business.
Trying to talk to her was a painful and forced affair.
“I’m going to bed,” she announced, heading to the den again.
I stopped her. “I was serious about earlier, Amanda. You’re not sleeping in the den. I’ll use one of Kevin’s spare rooms tonight.”
“That’s not necessary,” she said sharply.
“Yes it is.” I crossed her path and headed to the den. “I’ll get your bags.”
She huffed out a breath and followed me. “Why do you have to be this stubborn? I told you I’m fine in there.”
I got to the den and picked up her bags. “Oh, I’m being stubborn?”
“Let’s not go there.”
I stopped and turned to her. “Maybe that’s exactly where we should go. Just face the facts, Amanda. You’re only acting this way to make it easier to leave when your gig’s up in a week.”
She reared back, clearly caught off guard that I would call her out. “You…you think I’m looking for an excuse?”
I put the bags down. “If it’s not that, then what?”
“Wow, Johnny. You can’t even take responsibility for what you did, can you?”
“I took responsibility. I apologized. I promised to make it up to you. So what did you do? You basically told me to go fuck myself.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but it’s damn close!”
The tone and volume of our voices spiraled higher now.
“And why do you feel all you have to do is apologize, and it would make everything all better? You never gave me a choice.”
“Shit, Amanda. I can’t do this anymore. I made a mistake. I didn’t tell you. I should have. Well, now you know. I can’t go back and change any of it. You want to stay mad? You don’t think I’m worth one chance? Fine.”
Her jaw clenched. I didn’t want to be an asshole, but I couldn’t deal with it anymore. Not like this. I picked up her bags again and left for the master bedroom.
“Really?” she called after me. “You’re gonna spit that out at me, then just drop the mic and leave?”
I spun on my heel to face her when I made it to my room. She was pissed. Her arms were crossed, eyes narrowed and nostrils flaring.
“What else is there to say, Amanda? I fucked up, and you can’t move past it. I can’t force you to get over it. That’s on you.”
“I’m not the bad guy here!” she shouted. “I’m not the one who stalked you. I didn’t even know who you were before Kevin called me to offer me the interview. I had to Google you.”
“What do you want me to say? I didn’t realize that following you on social media and being a fan of your career was going to be such a big deal.”
“It’s not just that!” She railed, throwing her hands in the air.
“Then what? Tell me. What did I do that was so wrong?”
“It’s not that you followed me. I mean, you have been messaging me for nearly three years now. I get here, and you don’t mention it at all. Don’t you think that was a little underhanded?”
“Amanda, it’s not like you sent me naked pics or we had an online relationship. You make me sound like I’m some kind of predator.”
She chewed at her lip and stared at me. I wondered if finally my point had been made. “You should have told me. You could have said, hey, I’m stonefaceviper79, long-time Roxy Punisher fan over here, nice to meet you.
“Okay I should have. I didn’t.”
“Johnny, back at the beginning of my time here, you told me to trust you. If you can’t come clean about something as quote, unquote small as this, then how can you believe I would trust you with anything else?”
I didn’t have an answer for her. I messed up. I apologized. She refused to let it go. “This conversation isn’t going anywhere.” I ran my fingers through my hair and growled under my breath. “I’ll be over in one of Kevin’s spare rooms tonight.”
“I told you already, you don’t have to do that.”
“It’s fine.”
I walked over to my open suitcases and pulled out some sweat pants. “This is all I need until morning. Have a good night.”
I turned and left, heading to the front door again.
Chapter 7 - Amanda
I let him leave.
It was only after climbing into bed and shutting off the lights that I finally let myself breathe. Why did this have to be so difficult and awkward and uncomfortable?
I needed a release.
I shimmied out of the sweatshirt I had thrown on after my run and tossed it to the side before lying back against the pillows. I let my cool hands run down my warm skin before dipping into the waist of my silky panties. No matter what I told myself, being so close to Johnny—in the car, and at dinner, and even during our blowout—had done nothing but arouse me. As angry as he made me just now, he had smelled so damn good. I fought hard to resist the urge to pull him back into bed with me and nestle into his neck.
Alone in his bed, his scent still lingered. My cheeks heated up as I imagined a vivid scene of what would happen if Johnny were still beside me. I relaxed against the cool sheets. My body was on fire. I wanted Johnny’s hands on me. I traced my fingers down my sides, slower this time, then back up over my naked breasts. I held back a small moan, picturing Johnny above me.
He would pin my hands above my head, forcing me to submit to him in a way that both frustrated and excited me. He would caress my body, not stopping until he had explored every inch of me, making me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet. I shifted on the bed, writhing under my own fingers, fantasizing that they were his, or his lips. I slid my other hand down my stomach, and lower until my fingertips hit the edge of my panties again. I closed my eyes and slipped them under the fabric, enjoying the softness of my trimmed mound. I tensed as my fingers reached my clit, making slow circles around the bud.
I wanted Johnny.
Without the arguing. Without the deception.
I wished we could start over.
He had such power over me, even now.
Gasping softly under my own touch, I worked a little faster. I was so lost in the fantasy, my body took over. I slid a finger down to the slick wetness between my folds.
His fingers.
They traced circles against my clit. One of his strong, sure fingers would enter me and stroke me, driving me to insanity. His tongue would soon join in, dancing along my lips, circling my clit. He would take it between his lips as he gently tugged and stimulated me, sending me closer to heaven. Wave upon wave of pleasure would course through me, taking me higher and higher, until…
My body trembled. A moan escaped my lips as I got to an intense climax. I convulsed as a second rush followed quickly behind while I continued to stroke myself. When it released me, I sank back against the pillow, slightly disoriented, letting my body take its time to return to normal.
With it came the reality of the last four hours. I placed my hands over my face. What the hell was I going to do?
* * *
Thoughts of Johnny echoed through my mind for the rest of the night, making it nearly impossible to sleep. Somehow, I managed to get a few hours rest, only to be stirred when my alarm went off. I hit the snooze button a few times and covered my head with a pillow. I had barely been awake for twenty minutes and there was already noise from out in the living area. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the door.
Johnny’s band members were all out there with the road crew and a small horde of private security. Kevin was with them, but I didn’t see Johnny among the crowd. That did not surprise me—he hated mornings more than I did.
I did my best to shake off the sense of dread hovering over me like a black
cloud, sinking lower and lower the longer I stared at the bunch. We would fly back to LA after the concert, so I showered and dressed quickly, double-checked my room to make sure I had all the essentials packed away, and went out to the living room. I was met with and returned the nods and morning greetings as I passed through the large room to get to the kitchen.
I met all of the band members before, but nothing had happened past the initial introductions. Johnny didn’t seem that close to them. He rarely talked to or about them, outside of practices and their work in the studio. I glanced at them as they all huddled together around one of the tables. There was Stevey, the drummer; Tony, the bass player; Mike, who worked the keyboard and small percussion instruments; and Luke, another guitar player and backup vocalist. They all seemed nice enough, but it was obvious they were much closer to each other than to Johnny. Thinking back, I remembered what he said about Kevin replacing all the members of his original band. I guess it made sense he had never bothered to get too close to this new group. He probably had no idea whether they would stick around for more than a few years.
I made it to the kitchen. I was not hungry, but coffee was essential if I had any hope of making it through the rest of the day. Kevin shouted instructions back and forth as they went through technical details about tonight’s performance. Tuning it out was easy. I had very little idea what they had been talking about. I waited for the coffee machine to brew the single serving cup I put on. Johnny made his appearance just as my drink was finished. He said a loud ‘morning y’all’ to the group and made a beeline to me.
“Morning,” he said, stopping short once he stood facing me.
“Hi.”
“How did you sleep?” He moved to the coffee machine I had just finished using. I took a good look at him. He was dressed in jeans that fit him snugly, and a T-shirt that gave a hint of his fit biceps and chest. My eyes ran his body while he had his back to me, working on making his own drink. Regardless of how my heart and mind felt about him, my body seemed to have the same reaction it always did to his presence. Raw lust and desire.
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