by Clare Lydon
“It means you’re letting your teenage crush affect your work judgement, and I want this business more than I want to help out your little girlfriend.”
Whoa: where was this coming from? Why was Joanna attacking her all of sudden? She felt like she was going into battle but she had no idea why. “I’m not sure why you’re bringing this up, but I don’t like your tone. At all. My teenage crush? I assume you’re talking about Sally, the woman I’ve been in love with for half my life.”
Joanna scoffed at that. “You haven’t seen her for god knows how long — half your life, actually! And then you swan in here and ask our newest client — who hasn’t even signed on the dotted line yet — to make an exception for her. I can’t believe you’d do that, jeopardize the contract before we’ve signed.”
“I just thought I’d give them a heads-up, I’m trying to be proactive and give the customers what they want.”
“Bullshit! You’re letting your libido cloud your judgement on this one, Harriet. We’ve been in business for five years and never once before have I had to question you, but this time, I do. You know our criteria for business, you know we have minimum units. And you also know that we only give contracts to clients who we know can fulfil them, who have a proven track record. Yet you are now prepared to risk our reputation and put your girlfriend up for some business she may or may not be able to fulfil.”
“She’ll fulfil it if they give her the order,” Harriet said, trying to keep calm. “I think you’re overreacting.”
She’d purely mentioned Sally’s stuff to Ava, Dan’s girlfriend, for future consideration. Plus, she’d been more than upfront about the fact Sally was just ramping up her operation and that Ava might have to give her some time to adjust. Yes, she probably wouldn’t have done it with any other client, but Sally wasn’t any other client.
“When was the last time you saw her?” Joanna asked, folding her arms across her chest, her lips pursed.
“Five weeks ago.”
“But she was meant to come three weeks ago, and this Labor Day weekend, right?”
Harriet nodded her head slowly, her skin prickling with heat. “I don’t see what you’re getting at.” She was lying, but Joanna was pissing her off.
“I’m getting at the fact she had to cancel because she couldn’t cope with the order she had, and that was from a much smaller client, do you see my point?” Joanna threw her arms up in the air. “If Ava loves her work, that order will be even bigger. You won’t see her, she won’t be able to cope, our name will be damaged. We’ve always had a solid, professional relationship with all our major retailers, so why would you ask for this so early? If you’re going to, at least let Sally get set up on her own properly first. Let’s supply Ava with some rock-solid clients who can deliver no problem, so she knows we’re not in this for a laugh.”
“She knows that anyway.”
“Not if you break all the rules and your girlfriend fucks it up for us. We live and die by our designers being business-savvy, as well as being good at what they do.” She pointed a finger. “And like it or not, your girlfriend doesn’t meet that criteria. This is one of the biggest deals of the past five years, and you’re jeopardizing it.”
“I got us this deal in the first place! I set it up!”
“Because your brother’s banging her.” Joanna rolled her eyes at Harriet with such contempt, Harriet gasped.
“I got the deal, that’s all that matters.”
“It’s not signed yet.”
“It will be. And what if they love Sally’s stuff and Sally finds the means to produce more? What then?” Harriet was on her feet now, crossing the space between them, stopping at the edge of Jo’s desk. She picked up one of her sharpened pencils, then put it down: no sharp objects nearby was best right now.
“I’d rather we had a solid run rate with them before we risk fucking up, and you would usually agree with me. But Sally is clouding your judgement.”
Harriet stood there, not believing what was coming out of Joanna’s mouth. Five years they’d worked together and never had a cross word. They shared the workload, they went forward together. But now it seemed like Joanna had lost the plot.
Introducing Sally at such an early stage wasn’t something she’d normally do, but didn’t businesses do this all the time? Sally was her girlfriend, surely that gave her some perks? And if Joanna really thought about it hard, she’d know Harriet would move hell and high water to make sure Sally could deliver.
“Look, I agree it’s a little early, a bit unorthodox,” Harriet said, holding Jo’s gaze. “But I’ll guarantee the delivery of her work. And it hasn’t even happened yet, so don’t jump the gun.” She took a deep breath, giving Joanna the benefit of the doubt. “What’s really going on here? Why are you so bothered about this?”
Joanna held up both hands and let out an exasperated yelp. “Because you’re committing the cardinal sin — mixing business with pleasure. What happens when you and her blow up? What then? Do I have to deal with her solely because you can barely look at her? You’re in the early stages of your relationship and you’re already not seeing each other. You really think this is going to work out?”
If Harriet had tried staying calm before, it wasn’t going to work now.
“What the fuck, Jo? Why are you laying into us? If you want to know the truth, I hope Ava takes Sally on and I think she will, because she’s that good. And you know what? If she does, that’s a huge contract for her in Chicago — a reason for her to move. And a reason why we could then work as a couple, because like you say, long distance isn’t easy.
“So excuse me for being a little forward, but I didn’t think you’d mind, because if I’m happy and Sally’s here, I work better — and you know that’s true.” Harriet took a deep breath and put her hands on her hips. She hadn’t even said that to herself out loud in her own head yet, but it was the truth.
“You’re pinning all your hopes on love, but love doesn’t last, believe me.” Joanna paused, narrowing her eyes at Harriet. “And have you thought about what might happen if she doesn’t come to Chicago? What then?”
“Then I move to New York, but that’s a last resort.” It wasn’t anything Harriet had truly considered yet, but it was at the back of her mind. If Sally wouldn’t move back here, going to her had to be another option. Because Sally was worth it, and doing long distance was making Harriet see that.
Joanna took an audible intake of breath. “You’d leave the business and everything we’ve worked to achieve for love, for a woman you’ve only just rekindled everything with?”
“It’s nothing concrete yet, but yes, I might.” Harriet gulped as she said it. She hadn’t even said this to Sally yet, and she hoped she’d back her up. Because Sally had already made an imprint on her heart, she made her feel like the woman she always wanted to be. She made her feel fearless because when you know there’s someone there to catch you, being fearless is the easiest thing in the world.
“And if I do, we’ll work something out — you and I don’t have to be in the same city to work together. But for me and Sally to give this a proper go, the opposite is true. We need to be in the same city — Sally was right all along. We just have to work out how that’s going to happen. I’m not going to jeopardize our company, but I’m also not going to throw away my chance at love. There are other things in life.”
“You’re a fool, you know that?” Joanna said, walking to the edge of her desk, getting so close that Harriet could feel her breath on her face, see her bloodshot eyes. Had she been crying? “A damn fool. Love never works, take it from someone who knows.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Joanna didn’t come into work the following day, calling in sick. Harriet wasn’t going to question it. There was clearly something else going on with her, but Joanna wasn’t answering her calls or texts. Harriet decided to carry on: she had work to do today, and her suitcase was already by her side and ready to fly to New York to see Sally tonight. After six w
eeks, Harriet’s heart and soul were already searching for Sally, feeling around in the dark to find their source of illumination.
These past 17 years, she’d been groping around in the dark, in clubs, in bars, in groups, trying to find Ms Right. But all along, Sally had been the yardstick they’d had to measure up to, and now it turned out the only person who could measure up in any way was Sally.
Over the past few months, her life had blown up; her carefully constructed rut had been firebombed, leaving Harriet exposed in a way she hadn’t been in years. Now, all her nerves and heart wires were frayed from the emotional strain of their long-distance relationship, but if this was the only way she could have it, that was better than nothing.
Harriet’s phone rang and she picked it up, reviewing an email to one of her key independent stationery stores to check she had their latest order correct. She was pretty sure she did, but she should run over the numbers one more time before she sent it off. She pulled her eyes away to see it was Joanna calling: so she was still talking to her.
“Hey, Jo,” Harriet said, her eyes still scanning the email. She spotted a typo and held the phone between her neck and shoulder as she fixed it, waiting for Jo to start talking.
Only, Joanna didn’t start talking; instead, she began to wail.
“Jo?” Harriet said, her friend now having her full attention. “What’s going on, why are you crying?”
“She’s… left… me…” Joanna finally managed to croak out between sobs.
Harriet sat up in her chair: she had her attention now. “Viv?” she said, knowing the answer already.
“Who else? She says I’m no fun. That all I want to do is work and save for my retirement. But I was doing it for us,” Joanna said, collapsing again on the end of the phone. “I don’t know what to do,” she said. “I can’t be single, it’s not in my life plan. And I’m fucking fun when I want to be.”
Harriet inhaled slowly and made a snap decision. “Take a deep breath, make yourself a coffee and I’ll be there in an hour. Just let me send this email, and I’ll jump in a cab. Do you have any whiskey?”
Joanna sighed heavily before replying. “Whiskey? Yes. Why?”
“Because all good sob stories need whiskey, it’s the law. Has she left already?”
“Last night,” Joanna replied.
“Okay, sit tight, the cavalry’s coming.”
“Thanks,” she said, sniffing loudly in Harriet’s ear. “And, H?”
“Yeah?”
“I said a lot of things yesterday that might have been coming from this, nothing to do with you and Sally. I’m sorry.”
“No problem. I’ll see you soon.”
Harriet hung up the phone and blew out a massive raspberry, making sure to make the sound. Because now she had to make two more phone calls: one to the airline to change her flight, and one to Sally. She wasn’t looking forward to making either, but she didn’t have a choice.
Joanna needed her, and Joanna was her friend.
She clicked the call button and Sally answered in two rings.
“Hey, hot stuff,” she said.
Harriet relaxed just hearing her voice, like honey down the line.
“Hey,” she said.
“That’s not the tone of voice that’s going to say something happy to me today, is it?”
“It’s not.”
“What’s up?”
“Viv’s left Joanna and she’s a mess. I’m going to have to fly in the morning, I’m so sorry. But I can’t leave her tonight, she’s too distraught.”
Sally sighed before she answered, which made Harriet’s heart weep.
She didn’t want to be the cause of Sally sighing, but this couldn’t be helped.
“I get it, it’s no problem. Well, it’s a long-distance problem, but this stuff happens.”
“It’s not a long-distance problem, it’s a casual-exclusive problem.”
Sally laughed at that. “It’s long distance,” she replied. “But you should absolutely go to your friend. It’s just I had a whole dinner planned tonight before I seduced you.”
“You did?” Harriet’s mind went to its go-to image of Sally, naked, straddling her. And just like always, her body heated up instantly, a throbbing between her legs telling her where she felt it most.
God, she missed her.
“I did,” Sally replied, bringing Harriet back to the present.
“What were we going to have?”
“For appetizers, crab ravioli. For entrée, me.”
“I like the sound of that,” Harriet said, licking her lips, the video still playing in her mind. “I’m really sorry.”
“Can’t be helped. I’ll just spend the night working instead. It’s what my life has become anyway.” Sally gave another sigh. “Are you going to make it out at all this weekend?”
“Absolutely, I have to see you — you’re not the only one who had plans that involved us naked.”
“Glad to hear it,” Sally replied.
“I’ll call the airline now and rebook for tomorrow, I’ll text you the time.” Harriet paused. “Will the food keep?”
“No, but I will.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Taylor dragged Sally out that night with her and Paula — she wouldn’t take no for an answer. They ended up at their favorite neighborhood bar just five minutes away from their arts collective in Queens, where everybody knew their names.
And yes, of course, that meant even Paula, not that Sally was surprised. She’d only visited twice before with Taylor, yet the bar staff were already greeting her more warmly than they ever had Sally in the past three years. She guessed it was the size of Paula’s tips that gave her the edge, along with her booming presence.
The bar was called The Scoundrel, and Sally had brought Harriet for brunch after the infamous elevator incident. The same bartender was serving, wearing what looked like the same plaid shirt; the same beat was pulsing through the speakers; and the same ceiling fans were whirring overhead, spinning warm air around the dimly-lit bar. The only thing different was there was no Harriet.
Paula and Taylor were all smiles as they took their seats at the same table Sally had been perched at with Harriet, the dark wood roughly polished under Sally’s fingertips as she sat down.
She was still sad about Harriet canceling, even though she knew the reason was a good one: her friend needed her. But dammit, Sally needed her, too. And it was just another nail in the long-distance coffin, which was providing even rougher terrain for her heart.
Something had to give, she knew that.
“Okay, you need a drink, otherwise your face might stick like that and Harriet will blame us for making it so. Beer always cheers people up, doesn’t it?” Paula said, slapping Sally on the back and making her cough. The woman didn’t know her own strength.
“Especially on a Friday night,” Taylor added, sweeping back her dyed black bangs that were so lustrous, they were almost purple. “Beer and Friday nights were made for each other.” She pointed a finger at Sally. “And women who mope over other women are so unattractive.”
“Thanks for the support, guys,” Sally said, as the waiter took their order, Paula throwing her head back to laugh at the joke she’d just shared with him as he left.
“I’ll be fine, I’m just sad she’s not here tonight. I had plans.”
Paula waved a hand. “She’s coming in tomorrow, right?”
Sally nodded, a relieved smile infiltrating her face: that was the one thing she was happy about. This weekend wasn’t a total bust, she would get to see Harriet at least.
“So you can fuck her then,” Paula said with a thick grin. “Tonight though, you can get a little messy with us before I take this one home and do exactly that to her.”
Taylor beamed at Paula. “Talk dirty to me, please.”
Now it was Sally’s turn to hold up a hand and clear her throat. “If you two continue, I’m leaving.”
Paula got up to give Sally a hug. “We’re on our b
est behavior from now on, my prudish niece,” she said, holding her at arm’s length. “Can I get a smile?”
Sally gave her one, hating herself as she did. Paula was still a menace.
Their drinks arrived and Sally eyed her aunt across the table. “So how are things with the two of you? Are you still thanking your lucky stars I introduced you?”
The look of lust Paula and Taylor exchanged was enough to make Sally blush: as it traveled across the table, steam rose from the surface.
“It’s going well,” Paula said, an unexpected hesitancy in her voice. “Wouldn’t you say?” she asked Taylor.
Taylor nodded, brushing Paula’s hand with the tip of her middle finger.
Paula flickered her lashes in response, and her cheeks colored.
Sally gave a little smile: underneath all that bravado, she was just like everyone else: nervous, unsure, hopeful that this woman liked her enough, at least for now.
“I’d say it’s going great,” Taylor said. “Although like you, the distance is a pain in the butt. But we might be solving that soon.”
“Really?” Sally said. “How so?”
Taylor shrugged, like the next thing that tumbled out of her mouth was the most natural thing in the world to say. “I’m thinking of moving to Chicago.”
Sally’s mouth dropped open.
Actually dropped open.
“You’re moving to Chicago? You never said anything to me! When did you decide this?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”
“But you’ve only been together two months!” Sally said. She couldn’t believe her ears: Taylor was moving to Chicago just like that, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
Which made her stop and think: was it?
“Nine weeks, actually,” Taylor said, shrugging. “And you know, I’m not getting any younger and this feels… right. It feels like I’ve known Paula forever, and there’s no reason to hold back. You only live once and we might all die tomorrow.”