by Ross Sayers
After some firm negotiatin wi a sandy-haired salesman, ah also pick up the cheapest pay-as-you-go phone in existence. Even though it’s got nae numbers in it, it still makes me feel lit ah’m a wee bit connected tae the real world again.
Five Guys, which wid usually only be a viable option if it wis a special occasion, is ma next port ae call, fur a big old scran. Ah then wander aroond ootside, eatin ma remainin chips. People watchin is an underrated past-time. Especially folk in this city. Hauf look lit thur in a rush tae get tae suhin incredibly important, and the other hauf look lit thur headin fur their ain death and want tae go as slow as humanly possible. And it’s iways the slow wans ye get stuck behind on the pavement.
Ma wander takes me tae Central Station. Superior station tae Queen Street, if ye ask me. The high ceilins and ancient architecture make me feel lit ah’m inside a livin piece ae history. Queen Street’s been under refurbishment for aboot five years. It’ll niver end. Even the pigeons keep their heids higher in Central.
Ah slump doon in ma huge jaiket and take up the hale bench. Two polis go by huvin a wee chat. Their hawns urr tucked tight inside thur stab vests.
‘Thur so cute when they walk lit that,’ ah say tae the guy on the next bench.
His heid turns tae me slowly, lit a clockwork doll. Greasy lookin black hair sneaks oot fae under his cap. Probably no the best guy tae be startin a chat wi. He hus a familiar face though.
‘Whit?’ he says.
‘Ah wis jist sayin,’ ah say, pointin at the polis, ‘it’s cute when the polis walk wi their hawns in their vest pockets lit that. Cause that means that at some point, when the stab vests were gettin designed, a choice wis made that they needed pockets high up fur when they’re swaggerin aboot.’
A horrible sound comes fae somewhaur inside this guy’s skull. He gargles a grog ae spit and snot in his mooth then lets it fly ontae the groond.
‘Ah fuckin hate the polis,’ he says. ‘Ah fuckin hate them and ah don’t hink thur cute and ah don’t care if they huv pockets in their fuckin vests.’
Ah struggle tae find the words tae respond tae that.
‘Fashion,’ ah say. ‘It’s no fur everyone.’
His eyes meet mine again and ah realise whaur ah know him fae.
‘Oh ma god, you’re the guy that…’
‘Aye?’
Ah pause. Ah know his face fae a Glasgow Live tweet. He attacked two polismen in Central Station efter he jumped the barriers withoot a ticket. They tried tae take him doon. Wan ae the staff members got mixed up in it and fell ontae the tracks in the scuffle. He hit his heid and went intae a coma. They hud CCTV ae it. And in the end, ah hud tae work the finish on the tills at work.
‘Sorry,’ ah say, shakin ma heid. ‘Sorry, ah thought ye were someone else. Huv a gid yin.’
My coat scuffles aroond me as ah get up and walk away fae the guy. It feels lit the universe pit me here, in this moment, right afore this event, fur a reason. The same way it pit Steven in the lane by the B&B. The universe is tryin tae help me— tae keep me safe.
Ah walk so fast oot ae there ah’m nearly runnin when ah find masel at the taxi rank. Ah glance back and see the guy jumpin the barrier and the polis runnin efter.
Ah return tae room 22 at Clancy’s. Ah drop ma bags and collapse on the bed, no botherin tae take aff ma jaiket. The cleaners huv been in and the sheets urr tucked tighter than a Hearts fan’s wallet.
Ah stick the telly on and lie back. Ma eyes shut ower. This time travel business disnae hauf take it oot ae ye, they don’t show ye that in the fulms. Ah iways wondered whit Marty McFly and the Doc did in the evenins in 1955 while they wur waitin on the clock tower gettin zapped. Ma guess is they baith went tae bed straight efter they’d hud thur tea. Separately, mind you.
Thur’s a knock at ma door.
‘Housekeeping,’ the voice says.
Ah open wan eye.
‘Ah thought ye’d awready been in?’
‘Complimentary champagne.’
‘Oaft, awright then, in ye come.’
The door opens and a familiar face appears.
26
‘Yotta!’ ah scream and jump tae ma feet. ‘Aw god, ah’m glad tae see you.’
She’s dressed up lit yin ae the cleaners. Her face disnae exactly break intae a glowin smile.
‘Ah wish ae could say the same, Daisy,’ she says. ‘But ye’ve some explainin tae dae, lassie.’
It’s startin tae get roastin in the room so ah unzip the jaiket and shrug it aff.
‘Me?’ ah say. ‘Whit aboot you!’
‘Whit aboot me?’ Yotta says.
She begins pacin roond the room, inspectin every nook and cranny she can find. She runs a fing’r along the top ae the telly on the wall and checks her fing’rtip fur dust.
‘You knew ah wis gonnae go back in time,’ ah say. ‘That night in the subway. Didn’t ye?’
Yotta pits her dusty fing’r in her mooth. She swirls the taste aroond.
‘Ah wis aware Daisy Douglas wis tae travel on the outer line,’ she says. ‘Daisy Douglas wis tae awaken in the past wi an alternative body. Aye, ah wis aware ae whit wis tae happen tae ye.’
A tremblin starts in ma chest. She knew. She knew. She knew.
‘This wis planned?’ ah say, the questions risin lit bile in ma throat. ‘Why? Who did this tae me? Wis this you? Why did ye pit me in a different body?’
Ah move towards her, tryin tae be threatenin. Yotta barely registers. She’s too busy takin ma new toothbrush oot the packet and sniffin it.
‘It wisnae ma decision,’ she says. ‘The decisions come fae much higher up, Daisy. In regards tae the body situation, obviously we couldnae huv two Daisys runnin aboot, that’s jist crazy. That could huv unfortunate consequences. Noo, please let’s no get aff track. That’s no why ah’m here.’
‘Why urr ye here?’
She goes intae the wee bathroom and turns the shower on.
‘It’s a shame this B&B disnae huv a lift,’ she says. ‘Ah don’t trust the stairs. They’re iways up tae suhin.’
She really needs tae work on the delivery ae her jokes. Her hair hus streaks ae black through the white.
‘Did ye get yer hair dyed?’ ah ask.
‘Thanks fur noticin,’ she replies. ‘Why did ye tell yer stepda he hit ye wi the lorry?’
Ah touch ma hawn tae ma foreheid, feelin the creases and wrinkles ae the permanent frown ah’m noo wearin.
‘How the fuck d’ye know that?’
‘Come on, noo. Ye must be startin tae realise ah’m jist a wee bit magic.’
She turns away fae the shower, pits her hawns up and wiggles her fing’rs lit a magician.
‘So ye’ve been watchin me the hale time?’
‘No aw the time, naw. Ah don’t watch ye while ye sleep, let’s pit it that way. Why did ye tell yer stepda he hit ye wi the lorry?’
‘Because ah need tae save him, right? That’s why ah’m back here, eh? And ah need tae make hings different, so Steven willnae die? Is that no right? Ah’ve no exactly been givin an instruction manual.’
The water seems tae meet wi her approval and she turns the shower back aff. Next is the toilet. She flushes and watches wi interest as the bowl refills.
‘Steven knows ye’re lyin,’ she says. ‘He knows he didnae hit ye.’
‘Why’d he gie me his number then?’
‘Cause mibbe—and ah’m jist throwin oot wild speculations here—mibbe he’s a gid guy and he wanted tae help somebdy that wis clearly in need.’
Thur’s nae such hing as gid guys and bad guys.
‘Anyway,’ she says. ‘Yer wee plan, tae text him that ye need help, so that he rushes ower here and then ye convince yer mammy he’s cheatin on her? Aye, that’ll no work.’
‘Bet ye it will.’
‘Why did ye no try and stop the att
ack at Central Station the day?’
Ah slowly move ma eyes aroond the room, lookin fur cameras in the corners.
‘Cause… cause ah didnae want tae end up in a coma lit that other poor git.’
‘Oh, so noo she cares about her ain welfare.’
‘Whit does that mean?’
‘Ah hink you know, lassie.’
Does she mean…? Nah. Nae chance. She couldnae know that. Let’s get back tae the real issue here.
‘Please jist be straight wi me,’ ah say. ‘If ah save Steven, ye’ll send me back, aye?’
Yotta flicks the light on and aff.
‘Ye’ve got a life in yer hawns, Daisy. Ye’ve been given a gift.’
‘A gift? Ah’d call it mair ae a curse, Yotta.’
‘It’s a gift and ye shid treat it as such.’
We’re oot the bathroom again and passin the bed. Yotta looks oot the windae and inspects it fur streaks.
‘Please,’ ah say. ‘Jist tell me whit tae dae. How dae ah get back? How dae ah get masel back? Ah can get back, right? Ah’m no stuck here forever lit Jill um ah?’
‘This Jill,’ she says. ‘She’s no wan ae mine. Ah’m new, remember. Ah’ll look intae that though. And aye, ye can get back. Jill’s given ye some decent advice. If ye’re needin mair guidance, ah wid advise makin the maist ae the opportunity ye’ve been given.’
‘Is that it? Is that seriously aw ye’re gonnae tell me?’
‘Mibbe get tae know Steven while ye’re at it. Life savin isnae an easy business, and it’s even harder when ye barely know the person ye’re tryin tae save. Gid luck.’
Ah nearly laugh in her face.
‘Ah’m no lettin ye oot ma sight,’ ah say. ‘Ah’m goin whaurever you’re goin.’
Thur’s a breeze through the room, even though thur’s nae windaes open. The notepad by the bed flaps and a few pages fly aff and circle roond the room. Yotta smiles at me. Then she disappears right afore ma eyes. Wan minute she’s there, the next gone. Ah swipe ma hawn whaur she wis jist a second ago. The air’s warm.
No huvin Sky in the hotel room is a killer. Basic channels urr slim pickins, but ah manage tae find a couple ae Red Dwarfs on Dave
Ah replay the meetin wi Yotta in ma mind. She said ah’ve got tae save Steven. At least ah know that Jill wis tellin me the truth.
Yotta disnae hink Steven’ll turn up but she clearly disnae know men lit ah dae. A lassie hauf his age chatted him up and he gave her his number. It disnae take a genius tae know why, and it wisnae cause he’s a “gid guy”.
It’s hauf eight. Ah sent the text an oor ago.
Steven, it’s Rose, from the B&B. i know u said only to text if it was an emergency but it is. I phoned 999 but they said its gonnae be an hour before they get here. Can u plsss pls pls plssss come and pick me up and take me to the hospital, i’ll never contact u again after??
Red Dwarf finishes and QI starts. Thur’s a knock at the door. Ah mute the telly and get tae ma feet. Ma tiptoes don’t make a sound as ah cross the carpet tae the door.
Ah breathe silently through ma nose. Ah didnae hink ah wid be this nervous. A heavy knock comes again. Ma heart bangs suhin fierce inside ma chest. Ah jist need tae stay quiet fur a wee bit longer and he’ll leave.
Another thump.
‘Hello?’ comes the deep voice fae the other side.
He’s no takin the hint. Ah pit ma brave girl pants on and move closer tae the door.
‘Sorry,’ ah shout. ‘Sorry, ah’ve changed ma mind. Ye’re a strange man and ah’m sorry ah invited ye ower here. Ah want ye tae leave.’
Whit feels lit a full minute goes by in silence. Then the knockin comes back louder than afore. It’s no stoppin. The deep voice speaks again.
‘Open this door right now.’
Then ah realise. It’s no Steven’s voice.
27
Ma hawns fumble wi ma robe, clutchin it tight thigether, even though ah’ve got claithes on underneath this time.
‘Jist a second!’
Ah close wan eye and stick the other up tae the peephole. A man in a blue cardigan, shirt and tie creased below it, stands wi his hawns on his hips, lookin fumin. Minnie is next tae him. Thur faces urr distorted and swollen in the glass.
Ah open the door and greet them wi a polite smile.
‘Gid evenin,’ ah say. ‘Nae room service fur me, thank you though.’
Ma attempt tae close the door ower is stopped by the man’s meaty black shoe, wedgin it open.
‘It’s no aboot that, miss,’ he says.
‘Ah’m sorted fur towels as well,’ ah reply, pressin ma full weight intae the door. Rose’s full weight, ah suppose.
‘Please,’ he says, overpowerin me and re-adjustin his tie, the door noo fully open. ‘Ma name is John Clancy and masel and ma wife, Minnie here, own this establishment.’
‘Nice tae meet ye, John,’ ah say. ‘And whit a fine establishment it is. Could be daein wi a few mair channels on the telly though. Or better yet, Netflix? Ah dunno if ye want tae jot that doon.’
Minnie rolls her eyes.
‘That’s her, John,’ she says. ‘She’s the one.’
Minnie gies me wan last snidey look then makes aff doon the corridor, stoppin briefly tae adjust a light fixture at a crooked angle on the wall.
‘Ah’m the one?’ ah ask.
‘Miss, ah’m afraid ah’m gonnae huv tae ask ye tae check oot early.’
‘How?’
‘We cannae allow ye tae engage in illegal activities within the walls ae the B&B.’
‘Whit?! Whit illegal activities?’
‘Please, miss, don’t make this harder than it needs tae be.’
‘Nut, ah’m no huvin this. Ah don’t even know whit ye’re on aboot.’
This triggers him tae sharply dive a hawn intae his pocket and produce a notepad wi inky, messy writin on it. He clears his throat.
‘Ye checked in late last night and paid in cash. Ye hud nae luggage. We checked the address ye gave and it’s no under your name. Ye wur witnessed runnin aboot the hotel this mornin in only a dressin gown. Ye argued wi wan ae oor frequent stayers on the stairs. Ye wur seen solicitin a phone number fae a binman in the lane ootside.’
He stops, folds the paper up and places it back intae his pocket.
‘Oh,’ he says. ‘And when ah knocked on the door jist then, ye thought ah wis a strange man that ye’d invited over.’
Thur’s aroond thirty seconds ae silence while ah take in this information and process it. A scrapin noise fae across the hall lets me know whoever’s stayin in room 23 is huvin a gid swatch at the unfoldin drama.
‘Is thur any way ah could change yer mind?’ ah suggest.
John looks taken aback. The thin, light hairs at the very edge ae his moustache quiver.
‘No lit that!’ ah say. ‘Ah jist meant bribin ye wi cash. Jist a nice, traditional, cash-based bribe, that’s aw.’
‘Miss,’ he says, flustered. ‘Ah really hink it wid be best fur everyone if ye packed up yer hings and left.’
‘B-but, whit if ah huv naewhaur else tae go?’
‘It’s Glasgow, miss, thur’s iways places fur folk lit you tae go.’
Folk like you. He’s seen the real you.
Ah try tae close the door on him again but his foot holds strong. He watches me as ah pack up ma small, sad collection ae hings ah bought earlier in toon. They aw jist aboot squeeze intae ma crumpled broon Topshop bag wi the dodgy handles.
‘Ah’m keepin the gown,’ ah say, and flick wan ae the belt ropes at him.
‘Ye’re welcome tae it.’
The smell ae the B&B, fresh white sheets and auld peelin wallpaper, fills ma nostrils fur the last time as ah walk towards the stairs. The crazy-patterned carpet seems tae be alive and swirls under ma feet, makin me feel lit ah’m high on suhin.
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‘This isnae the end ae this,’ ah shout back doon the corridor at John.
He’s still standin ootside room 22, waitin fur me tae be oot ae sight.
‘Ah hink it is,’ he answers.
‘Jist you wait and see the Trip Advisor review ye get.’
‘We’re no on Trip Advisor.’
‘Well…ah’ll get ma mum tae dae a Facebook post. And then ye’ll see.’
As ah go doon the stairs, ah consider that Steven might still turn up lookin fur me.
He ignored your message. He isn’t coming because he saw what you’re really like. You can’t hide behind a different face. It doesn’t matter what face you’ve got, underneath you’re always the same.
Looks like ah need some new digs.
28
Ah’m sick ae the sight ae the subway. How dae folk ride it tae work in the mornin? Then ride it hame eight oors later? Then dae it four mair times a week, every week, fur however long they can stand thur office job? That’ll niver be ma life.
The Buchanan Street station is quiet at this time ae night at least, and the guy at the counter isnae the same yin as yesterday, luckily.
‘Evenin,’ the cheery man says.
‘Hullo,’ ah say. ‘Is Jill workin the night?’
‘Eh,’ he says, ‘let me check.’
He wheels himsel back fae the desk and shouts tae another unseen staff member lit the other fella did.
‘Viccy,’ he shouts. ‘Is Jill still here?’
‘Naw, Eddie. Finished at nine,’ the unseen voice calls back.
Eddie pulls himsel back tae the counter. He adjusts his specs up his nose.
‘Finished at nine, sorry,’ he says. ‘She a friend ae yours?’
‘She’s ma… sister, actually,’ ah say, wingin it. ‘Aye, Jill’s ma sister. Big sister Jill, ah call her.’