His parents casual dismissal of his passion for art, their disregard for how important it was to him, and their abandonment of him when he pursued it as a career, was nowhere near as painful as seeing Dani deal with the sorrow of losing her parents. It brought tears to his eyes, which he rapidly blinked away. Thank God she didn’t see them.
To have her fall asleep in his arms… That was a nightmare and a dream rolled into one. He loved how it felt to hold her, the press of her body against him, the curve of her hip under his hand, the brush of her russet hair under his chin and across his arm. It was a heaven he never hoped to experience. He was afraid to fall asleep and miss a moment of it. There was, however, other parts of his body that were enjoying it too much, turning it into something of a nightmare. Those parts urged him to run his hand down her back and across her behind. To caress her neck with his fingers, before heading lower, to push under the neckline of her shirt. To kiss her forehead, to tilt her chin up so he could taste her full lips and drink of her sweetness. He’d most likely go to hell for what he was thinking. Not merely because she was a student where he worked. She was grieving for god’s sake. It was not a proud moment.
He looked out the window to see the night sky was now tinged with gray. How much longer would she sleep? She needed rest and he was glad she found it in his arms. What having her there did to more southern parts of him was irrelevant. What it did to him emotionally was most likely irrelevant too, but didn’t stop him from wishing he could be there for her in her time of trouble. Make all her problems disappear. Care for her forever. Be her rock. How stupid was that? He hardly knew her. And yet… There was a connection there he couldn’t deny. He’d felt it throughout the evening and he’d bet his Matisse she had too.
She snuggled into him, making him aware again of the soft breasts pressing into his chest. Then she moved her hand from his waist, sliding it across his belly before moving it down to the place where he both ached and dreaded to feel her touch. She rubbed her cheek against his chest, moaned softly, then stilled. Dreaming... And who the hell was she dreaming about? Her boyfriend? Surely she had one. Didn’t she? Though she told him she had nowhere to go but home. If she had a boyfriend, wouldn’t she have wanted a ride to his house? Wouldn’t she be sharing her grief with him?
He shifted slightly, hoping to dislodge her hand without waking her and making things awkward. She didn’t need to know simply holding her in his arms turned him on. It would most likely freak her out since he was supposed to be comforting her as a person of authority, in a position of trust. Like an uncle or something. It was a line he wasn’t willing to cross.
She wriggled again, stroked her hand slowly up and down. This time he wasn’t able to stifle a groan. His brain quit functioning, his blood buzzed in his ears. He laid his head against the back of the couch and lifted his hips slightly before he could stop himself. This was insane. He was risking years’ worth of hard work. He raised his head and looked out the window in an attempt to distract himself from what she was doing with her hand. He was torn between encouraging her touch and jumping up off the couch, away from temptation.
The sun was peeking over the horizon now. Things were getting risky. Several of his colleagues liked to arrive on campus around sunrise. Any one of them could walk in on them. Though some might turn a blind eye, it wasn’t a chance he wanted to take. If the rumors, and hints by those in the know, were to be believed, they were going to offer him tenure in the fall. But he wasn’t the only one in the running. Professor Edwards was too, and he was tough competition. Getting entangled with a student could be the thing to tip the scales in Edwards’ favor.
All logical thought, along with his common sense, flew out of his head when she stroked him for the third time. He moved a hand to cover hers and applied the pressure he craved. Just this. Just this little bit. Then he’d wake her up and get her the hell out of his office. Get rid of her so he could get on with his life.
His stomach dropped to his toes when she spoke.
“I should apologize, but I’m not going to. When you moved your hips, I knew what started out as my dream was something we both wanted.”
“Dani…” He moved her hand off him and placed it on her thigh, then let it go like it was a hot potato. “Just because you want something doesn’t mean you should take it. Men can be horny in the mornings. You should ignore it. We generally do.”
She yawned as she pulled out of his arms and leaned back against the couch, though she didn’t move away from him. The feel of her thigh burned like a brand, but in a way that made him want nothing more than to feel the length of her burning underneath him the same way.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep. You should’ve woke me. I can’t believe you sat here holding me all night.”
He bent forward, rested his elbows on his knees, and looked at her over his shoulder. Every muscle in his body was rock hard with wanting her. It was crazy, what she did to him. Without any sleep, he had no hope of coherent thought and it took everything he had to keep his hands to himself. To form the words that must be said.
“You needed the sleep, and you said yourself you didn’t want to go home. I didn’t have the heart to wake you. But I want to leave before someone sees you in here with me. It wouldn’t be good for either of us. Though probably for me more than you.” He dropped his head and covered his face with his hands for a moment before lacing his fingers together and resting his chin on them. She was an emotional mess right now and he didn’t want her feeling like he was rejecting her. Looking at his feet rather than her, he confessed, “I’m hoping to get tenure in the fall. I don’t need rumors of romance with a student ruining my chances.”
“I’m sorry. How embarrassing. Pretend it didn’t happen, okay?” She placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment. “But, it’s Saturday, remember? Who’s going to be here this early on a Saturday? I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.”
He nodded and scrubbed his hands down his face. “True. Hopefully no one will show up around here until after we’re gone.”
She moved again and when her thigh rubbed against him it short-circuited his brain. He didn’t want to stop touching her now he’d started. His emotions were whirling around inside him like a compressed spring suddenly let free, bouncing and careening out of control, rejoicing at their freedom.
“To hell with it. You’re right. It’s Saturday. But for a technicality that goes away in mere weeks, you’re not a student. And you’re not my student.” He gathered her in his arms, pressing a hand into the middle of her back to bring them flush from shoulder to waist, while the fingers of his other hand threaded through her hair. “I’m at least allowed a kiss, aren’t I?”
Not waiting for a verbal answer when he could read it in her eyes, those gorgeous, mind-blowing eyes, he claimed her lips and drank deeply. This needed to last a long time, most likely forever; therefore he was going to get as much from one kiss as humanly possible.
Without removing his lips from hers, he pressed her backwards onto the couch, so they were lying prone, bracing his weight on his forearms and tangling his hands in her hair. She arched up against him as his tongue entered her mouth and his head spun, making everything go black for a moment. The feel of her under him was beyond anything he’d imagined. With her or anyone. Fear frizzled down his spine when he realized he was on the verge of completely losing control. He might not be able to stop himself now he’d started. Her tongue entering his mouth turned him into one throbbing ache and only the length of her under him brought some sense of relief.
He rocked his hips in an effort to alleviate the ache, hoping to get enough satisfaction to give him the strength to end the madness. When he finally managed to pull his tongue out of her mouth, he caressed her lips with it before he nibbled them with his teeth. Good God, he was thirty-three years old and he’d never experienced a kiss that felt so good. So right. He buried his face in her neck and licked it just below her ear. She tasted heavenly. So delicious he groaned. She shuddered under h
im and he nearly lost it. He had to get a grip. This could not go any further. It couldn’t go anywhere. He was not the kind of bastard who took advantage of a grieving woman.
His voice was hoarse as he whispered, “Dani, this is insane—”
“Shane, I’m glad—”
He swore violently under his breath and scrambled to his feet. “Edwards.” His brain refused to give him a coherent thought after that.
“Well, I certainly didn’t mean to interrupt. I noticed the light on and your bag on the desk as I walked by. Though it seems now isn’t a good time to talk.”
If Shane had been able to think at all, he would’ve positioned himself so his colleague couldn’t see exactly who was with him. As it was, he was standing by Dani’s feet, giving Edwards a clear view of who he’d been couch surfing with. Had he showed up a few minutes later, the view may very well have revealed a lot more of Dani than his colleague should be allowed to see.
The fact things could be worse wasn’t much of a comfort at the moment, though. Of all the people who could walk in on them, there were only two who could ruin his future. Edwards was one of them. The head of the art department was the other.
“Professor Edwards, it’s not what you think.”
His brain was so fuddled he didn’t realize Dani was standing next to him until she spoke. The only thing his brain computed was Edwards standing there with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face.
“Really? Professor Bancroft wasn’t sprawled on top of you, a student, on the verge of screwing her? Tell me, what else could it have been?”
Dani blew out an exasperated breath, while Shane stifled the urge to hit something.
“Listen, Jack, I know this looks bad, but seriously, there’s nothing going on here. I got carried away for a moment, but—”
“Shane,” Dani interrupted. “If you’re not going to say something, then I will. It’s earlier than we were planning, I know, but really, it’s okay.” She rubbed his arm in a soothing manner.
Shane looked at her in confusion. What the hell was she talking about? Lack of sleep and being so turned on every cell in his body ached, made normal brain function nearly impossible. She tucked her hair behind her ears before she pressed herself against his side and threaded her arm through his.
“Shane and I are engaged. We wanted to keep it secret for a few months yet, until after I graduated and the decision had been made about tenure, but I guess the cat’s out of the bag now. It’s all happened rather quickly for us and we didn’t want people getting the wrong idea. It wasn’t something we planned on, or sought out, it just sort of snuck up on us. Love has a will of its own, no matter how hard you try to control it.”
He didn’t think things could get worse, but he was certainly wrong about that.
Chapter Four
The Professor's Secret Page 4