by Cassie Mae
“So,” I hear Peg say from the other side of the room. Peg is a pretty cool gal. She’s a senior, and has been in every musical but has never had a “major” role. Of course, she only makes about half the rehearsals, so that’s a big reason for her lack of promotion.
“How about that Seth, hey? Who would have known there was such a hottie in that guy?” Peg flips her dark hair so she can apply her mascara. I meet her eyes through the mirror she’s using. She smiles wide and gives me a wink.
All the girls sharing my mirror nod and make comments to those around them.
“Those gray eyes. I mean, wow.”
“Did you see the way he was strutting his stuff up there?”
“I never realized how confident he was. He always seems so shy, you know?”
I want to laugh. Like belly laugh laugh. Because if they'd seen how nervous Seth was before walking out on stage, they wouldn’t be saying some of these things. But who am I to steal his thunder? And it’s not like I haven’t had these thoughts myself—some of them. Like his confidence, and those pants. And how freaking attractive it all is.
“Right, Kate?”
“Hmm?” I turn with the eye makeup remover in hand and search for who’s asking me the question. The mischievous look from Peg gives it away.
Peg’s beautifully painted eyes sparkle. “That kiss was not a stage kiss.”
Those around me giggle and nudge me with their arms.
I release a half-laugh. “What are you guys talking about?” Okay, yeah, I’m playing dumb. But I don’t know how to respond to this. Telling them Seth is good at everything won’t cut it.
“You’ve been stage kissed many times before. It’s practically the reason we get guys to audition for the musicals. The lure of getting a role in which they can kiss Kate Ryan.” Peg pretends to kiss Stacey, who’s applying makeup next to her. “No one’s gone as far as Seth did with his stage kiss.”
In all honesty, the whole performance went by in a blur. All except for that one part. And like Peg said, I’ve been stage kissed before and it was never like that. Kissing Tom and Lance last year and the year before didn’t cause a current to run through my body, starting at my lips and bee-lining it straight through my toes and into the stage. Those other stage kisses didn’t make me acutely aware of where their hands were placed, or cause me to spontaneously smile after the curtain fell. Well, maybe I did smile, but it was because we’d nailed the scene. Not because the kiss was…electric.
“Oh come on, Kate!” Bridget is in front of me, shaking my shoulders. “Everyone in the auditorium could feel that wasn’t just a simple kiss.”
“What?” I shake my head and spin to take in everyone in the room. It was just a stage kiss. Seth and I had talked about it. “Seth is a great actor, you guys.” A grin quirks on my face. “We were Will and Ado Annie. This is a musical. We’re all actors.” I look over my shoulder at Wendy, who’s wearing the same look Peg is. They’re not buying it. “Wendy, you making out with Ben is not acting. It’s you two taking advantage of the script.”
Wendy nods and the room succumbs to laughter. After that it’s all casual banter while I try to get the conversation, and that dang kiss, out of my head. Why does Seth have to be so good at everything? If I didn’t know better I would think there was more to that kiss then just making sure the audience believed it. But he’s Seth. Mr. Steiman told him to make it believable. And boy did he ever.
I shake myself out of my thoughts. We have to get to the fundraising dinner put on by the Booster Club. It always takes place in the cafeteria after the first performance. And perhaps, for once, I won’t be late.
With my real face visible now, I rush over to my bag and groan at what I have inside. It’s not like it should come as a surprise—yoga pants and a fitted tee. My mom is not going to be happy when I show up to the dinner like this.
Oh well, another “Kate moment.” What can ya do?
A number of us are ready at the same time, so we weave our way through the halls to the cafeteria. The dinner is buffet-style, lines already out the door, and the space is so loud with excitement I barely hear my parents.
“Kate! Over here!”
On my way to their cafeteria table—real fancy dinner, I know—I spot Seth coming in from the other direction surrounded by three girls, all sophomores. Two are touching his arms and the other is walking backward, facing him. I can almost make out their excited conversation from here, although it’s very apparent Seth is anything but comfortable. His arms are plastered to his sides, eyes on the ground, lips pinched. Maybe he’s not enjoying the new-found fame that came from my convincing him to play Will and coaching him on how to stage kiss—even if he did expand on my teachings a little. My lips tingle as they remember.
“Oh, Kate, honey.” Mom shakes her head as she looks me up and down. “Really?”
I shrug. “Sorry. I remembered to put on clothes this morning, and bring my stuff for basketball, and I didn’t forget the few things I needed for my costumes. I’d say this is pretty good.” I smile, hoping she’ll understand, but she just continues to shake her head. Oh well.
“I think you look fine, sweetie.” Dad wraps me in a hug. “Congratulations. You did a fantastic job up there. Ado Annie is a good match for you.”
My eyebrows scrunch in confusion. I’m not sure if that’s a compliment.
“Rebecca Ann, give me that now. You will see your friends tomorrow.” Mom holds out her hand and Becca gives her the phone. Then she looks back at me.
“You did a really good job, Kate. Can we eat now?”
The five of us laugh and turn to get in line, but are stopped by Seth’s mom. I hope she doesn’t hate me for what happened to her son. Seth said everything was cool, but I wonder if he said that to be nice.
“Mr. and Mrs. Ryan?” the tiny woman asks.
“Yes? Oh, Rose! Your son did such a fabulous job. You’d think he was practicing that for months.”
Mrs. McPherson chuckles and resituates Shelby on her hip. “From what I hear he’s been practicing for months.” She looks at me.
“Yes, he has been. I knew my part thanks to him. Seriously, Mrs. McPherson. Your son is good at everything.”
Mr. McPherson comes up from behind me and lays a hand on his wife’s shoulder. We were briefly introduced when he had to pick up Seth from a musical rehearsal one day. “Funny, he says the same thing about you.” He looks up and so do I. “Speaking of, there’s the man of the hour. Shall we get in line for some grub?”
Seth’s dad leads the way, with both his and my family following. I hover in the back to wait for Seth to catch up. He looks completely overwhelmed, but he’s himself again. Converse sneakers, hoodie jacket, and looser jeans. His face is flushed and he has this quirky, half-smile thing going on, like he’s trying super hard not to run away and find his cello.
“I know I’ve said this already…” I start and Seth turns in surprise—apparently he didn’t see me here. “…but you were amazing. That standing ovation you got at the end says it all.”
The creases in Seth’s face relax a little as we get in line behind our families. “Pretty sure they were standing for you. Not me.”
I nudge him in the shoulder. “If the audience was thinking what all the girls in the dressing room were saying, they were standing for you. Trust me.” I wink and laugh, expecting him to laugh as well, but he doesn’t. Instead he looks confused. Like he has no idea what I’m talking about.
“Seth, come on. All the girls think you’re hot. You’ve moved to the top of their ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ list.” He’s still not looking happy. I don’t like seeing him so…not Seth. Especially after he literally gave the performance of a lifetime.
And my lips can confirm that.
We don’t say much until we get to the food line—he’s on one side, I’m on the other—and my stomach makes one of the loudest grumbling noises known to man. This, of all things, causes Seth to burst out laughing. He’s laughing so hard two tomatoes from t
he salad roll off his plate.
“Hey! You’re wasting good food there, buddy!” I yell and pick them up. Obviously, no one will eat them so I do what any normal person would. I chuck them at his face.
“Now, who’s wasting perfectly good food?” He chucks them back. His aim is horrible, though, so he hits my dad in front of me.
But since my dad is my dad, he just chuckles and pretends he’s going to shove a gross tomato in my mouth. Even though he’s strict about our grades and family time, he really is a big kid at heart. The only thing that stops us is my mother.
“That’s enough, you kids.” She looks pointedly at my father.
When our plates are full we make our way back to the table, Seth’s family joining us. It doesn’t go unnoticed that Ginny rushes to the seat across from Seth and me. Great, she’s got a crush on him now too? Doesn’t she have a boyfriend or something?
“So,” Ginny rests her head in her hand and looks directly at Seth, completely ignoring her plate. “Do you like my sister?”
My eyes grow to twice their size. Seth snorts, causing him to inhale whatever he had in his mouth. As he goes into a coughing fit, I throw a look at Becca and my parents, but they’re all engrossed in a conversation Mr. McPherson is leading.
“Ginny, what the heck?” I give Seth a few taps on his back to make sure he’ll stay alive.
“Well, do you?” Ginny still hasn’t stopped looking at Seth.
The poor guy gets even more red-faced. Any kind of attention makes him nervous, but how is he supposed to answer this one? Obviously people are having issues understanding that, even though it was an amazing stage kiss, that’s all it was.
Seth is, like, the nicest guy at school so he doesn’t want to say, “Oh, no. I don’t like your sister. Gross.” To my sister.
I rest my hand on Seth’s leg, and then look back at Ginny. Someone who is getting way too old, too fast.
“Seth and I are friends. And Seth’s a very good actor. Heck, he’s good at everything.” I turn and grin at him, but the look on his face is not what I expect. Usually when I compliment him on how good he is he laughs it off. Now it looks like he’s eaten something sour. Maybe he’s still kind of choking. I give him one more pat on the back.
“Yeah, sure, okay.” Ginny rolls her eyes and picks at the chicken on her plate. “I’m just sayin’. It looked like a lot more than a stage kiss to me.”
Right after the opening-night dinner, Sophie storms up to me in the parking lot and smacks me clean across the face.
“I thought we had something special!” she hollers, and I stand there like a complete buffoon, trying to give my parents the signal to keep moving to the car, but they’re glued to the spot like I am.
“Uh…” I mutter, ignoring the sting in my cheek.
“Oh don’t tell me it was just a stage kiss. I could see it wasn’t from down in the orchestra pit. I thought we had something, Seth. You held my hand, bought me popcorn, lingered in my car when I dropped you off. And all the walks together to our classes. Did that mean nothing to you?”
“Lingered in your car?”
“Obviously it meant nothing. We are over, you get it? I’m breaking up with you.”
“Were we going ou—”
“Good luck with the rest of your performances. You were flat all night, anyway.”
Then she turns around, short curly hair bouncing against her shoulders as she marches toward the entire violin section who have all come out to watch. Along with a few other cast members, including Kate, who mouths you okay? at me. I nod, even though I’m beyond the point of confusion.
“Uh, son?” Dad asks with a frown. “Care to explain?”
“I don’t think I can.”
Shelby chooses that moment to start fussing, and I take her from Mom so I have some excuse to get away from all the onlookers. I strap Shelby into her car seat, cover her in a blanket, then buckle up next to her. I can’t help but wonder—if the entire violin section noticed that the stage kiss was so obviously not a stage kiss, did Kate notice too?
I tell myself to get through the performances, then everything will go back to how it was. For someone who’s a straight-A student, I can’t believe how stupid I am.
The final two performances go by in a two-hour fizzy-soda-bottle-filled nervous frenzy, in which I freak out about the kiss even though I’ve already done it. I keep it to three seconds on performance number two. I actually think it’s two seconds because I break away before I lose my mind again.
But on the last night… I try. Really try to only stick to three seconds. I give the peck, pull back, but Kate’s lips go with me. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want it to end either, but that’s ridiculous because she’s made it pretty obvious we’re just friends. And every time I get a second with her alone to maybe talk about it, she has to race off to do something else. I’d hate to become just another person who takes up her time.
After being in the spotlight all weekend, it’s impossible to go back to how things were before the play. People who’ve never spoken to me in my life are suddenly sharing memories we have and pulling me aside in the hallway asking for favors. I have about fifty people wanting me to tutor them. I can barely make it from class to class before the bell rings. I thought it would die down after a few days, but a month later, they’re still at it.
The worst part is I have no time with Kate outside of work, and even then we’ve got customers barking at us behind the counter, pulling us out of talking with each other and forcing us to interact with them. I haven’t even gotten the chance to see if Kate still needs any trig help. She said we’d work during our break time, but now that her soccer season has started, she comes in late every day and Harry makes her work through it.
After a long day of two tutoring sessions, cello practice, and a shift at Jamba—where I was supposed to work with Kate, but she had to find someone to cover for her—I slump into the big chair in my living room, blowing out a large exhale.
“Well, hey,” Mom says from the couch, her legs kicked up and a blanket thrown over her torso. She’s eating a slice of apple and pauses whatever show she’s watching.
Instead of answering her, because I’m pretty sure I don’t have the energy to find my voice, I give a tired half wave.
“Nine-thirty. You better get in bed.”
I nod. Yeah, I know.
“Seth, hun, you have a few messages. You want them now or later?”
Her voice is light and I don’t know how she’s so awake when she’s up all the time. My lips twitch as I attempt to smile, but I don’t think I manage it.
“How about never?” I say through a yawn. If I never talk to another soul again, I’ll be hap—
“You have one from Kate.”
A jolt of electricity shoots through my feet and up my spine, making me leap from the chair. Mom giggles and my ears burn.
“Uh…” I run my hand through my hair. “What’d she want?”
“Message is still on the voicemail.” She smiles and grabs the TV remote to press play. “Maybe next time turn your cell on.”
I wave her off as I go to the kitchen. When was the last time I had a full conversation with Kate? The curtain call party? Probably…and the whole time I was analyzing what it meant by her keeping that last kiss longer than three seconds. Maybe she wasn’t counting. Maybe I tasted good. I did pop in a mint that night. Or maybe she was waiting for the curtain to close…
I’m definitely overthinking it.
Putting the phone to my ear, I hit the voicemail. There are a few I have to sift through and my fingers drum on the counter as I wait. I might make permanent marks in the granite.
Four messages. I lean my head against my arm and close my eyes. If Mom lied about this just to see my reaction—
“Hey buddy!”
Finally! I straighten up and press the phone against my ear with more force.
“So, it feels like it’s been forever, and I’m running around right now, and I know you’re at
work so you won’t answer your cell, so I thought I’d leave a message with your mom because I know it’ll take you three days to check your phone… Anyway, I’m rambling. Sorry, just got back from the doctor and now I’ve got to head to the National Honor Society banquet committee meeting. You’re coming to the banquet right? Your smart patootie better be there!”
I chuckle and relax to the sound of her breathless voice. Maybe she’s not avoiding me on purpose. All just part of her busy schedule. And mine now too, I guess.
“Oh my gosh! I’m rambling again. Geez, I’m calling because I still need major help in trig. Just got a pop quiz today and I’m pretty sure I…well, I don’t know anything. It was like I was in Greek class instead. But I have Friday night after work open. I know you’re totally busy too, but can you please squeeze me in?” She puts on an Oklahoma! accent. “I don’t know what I’ll do if ya don’t.
“Oh, and I just remembered this message is on your home phone and not your cell. So, um, sorry, Mr. and Mrs. McPherson! And call me back, Seth. Whenever, okay. No matter how late you get this. I don’t even care that I sound desperate.”
I hear a click and the recording asks if I want to delete. I don’t. I press replay and listen to it again. And again. Then one more time.
“Seth?”
Mom turns the corner to find me sitting on the kitchen tile floor, smiling like I’ve won the Nobel Prize. She shakes with silent laughter as I fumble to hang up the phone.
“Go. To. Bed.” She shakes her head and sets a mug in the sink above where I’m sitting.
I nod and leave the room as fast as my tired legs will carry me. Stripping out of my Jamba uniform, I tug my cell from my khakis and check my missed calls. None from Kate, so I ignore all the voicemails I have.
It’s nine forty-five. She said she didn’t care how late I call, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. It’s a school night, and she probably crashed after the meeting. My heart starts to pound in my throat. Why is this so hard? She basically had a conversation with herself on my voicemail just to talk to me.
I catch a glimpse of myself in my mirror, twitchy and nervous as always, but maybe…well, maybe Kate’s right about this “abs” thing. Poking my stomach, and yeah…flexing more than I usually do, I mean…I’m okay-looking, I guess. I can do this. I can be confident with these abs and all. No point in putting it off.