by Emma Nichols
‘I’m not,’ Ariana argued defensively, turning towards the kitchen. ‘Food’s on the table,’ she said, walking speedily away.
Soph held back the laugh, bubbling in her throat, at the apparent contradiction her mother had just demonstrated. ‘I’m not hungry,’ Soph said, shaking her head and meandering down the stairs. She refused to get drawn into Ariana’s mad world. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come and the chance to spend time with Gianna. Gianna made her feel good.
6.
Ariana gazed out from the ground floor bedroom terrace overlooking the west-cove. She could see the taverna, the volleyball net, the bench-tables set out on the golden sandy beach around a large steel bowl, suspended and filled with wooden logs. The warm feeling in her chest expanded as she watched, and yet the strange sensation also caused her to jolt.
‘You do not go down to that beach,’ her mother said, her tone angry for no apparent reason, other than Ariana wanting to play with the dark-haired girl in the white shorts, who kept looking up at the house through the binoculars. Had her mother seen her waving at the girl? Her heart had raced with excitement until the point her mother had spoken. Then, it was as if a balloon inside her had popped in an instant. She daren’t ask why she shouldn’t go and play on the beach.
‘Go and see if Nikos can show you how to tend the grove,’ she said.
Ariana released a deep breath, her chin dropping to her chest with the weight of the disappointment in her heart. Nikos had shown her how to tend the grove already. She was eight years old and wanted to grow up, so she could make her own decisions. ‘I hate you,’ she mumbled inaudibly.
‘Off you go,’ her mother said, smiling sweetly.
Ariana glanced to her left in the direction of the rocky outcrop at the base of the cliff, her thoughts drifting to a more pleasant memory, and she smiled.
She had watched, the sun setting behind the west-cove, as Nikki ambled across the sand, a small bag resting over her shoulder, fishing rod in hand. She had seen her trek across the beach to the rocks below the white house on many occasions, but tonight would be different. Tonight, she would go and sit with her while she fished. Her father had returned from a business trip, which was great if only because he made her mother smile in a way that nothing or no one else ever seemed to do. He had taken Teresa out on the boat, for dinner in Lefkada. They wouldn’t be back until late-morning.
‘Will you be okay on your own this evening?’ Sophia asked. She smiled kindly, and Ariana could have sworn her grandmother winked at her. Something about the tone in her voice had given her permission to explore freely.
Ariana tried to control the bursting sensation in her chest. ‘Yes,’ she said, her voice struggling to pronounce the word, the ‘Y’ unheard. She cleared her throat, heat rising to her cheeks.
‘Good, I need an early night,’ Sophia announced, apparently ignoring Ariana’s embarrassment, promptly filling a glass of water and heading for the stairs up to her room on the second floor. ‘Good night,’ she said.
‘Night grandma.’ Ariana said, heading for the front door. She stood for a moment, taking in the sense of freedom the night offered, the lightness in her chest, the joy in her heart. With a grin that spanned her face and a skip in her step, she headed for the rocks on the beach.
Her heart thumped as she approached Nikki. ‘Hey,’ she said, excitedly.
Nikki turned to face her, a warm smile appearing slowly, her hazel eyes, dark, widening, causing her smile to deepen. ‘Hey,’ she responded.
Ariana nodded, her heart still racing, her eyes lowered.
‘Do you want to fish?’ Nikki asked.
Ariana shrugged. She’d never tried it.
‘You have to watch the float,’ Nikki said, pointing to the small, orange stick bobbing on the water’s surface.
‘Ah huh,’ Ariana said, studying the water. She moved closer, sat down next to Nikki’s feet and pulled her knees into her chest. ‘You fish a lot,’ she said.
‘It’s fun,’ Nikki responded.
Ariana gazed up at the warm smile. She liked Nikki. Nikki was always kind, pretty, and her only friend, even though they didn’t get to play together very often because of Ariana’s mother. ‘Can I have a go?’ she asked, enthusiastically.
‘Stand up.’
Ariana stood.
Nikki held out the rod so that Ariana could see the position of her hand on the handle and reel. ‘Hold it like this,’ she demonstrated. ‘You wind in the line turning this handle,’ she demonstrated.
Ariana could feel her mouth drying, her heart fluttering and her hands beginning to shake. She didn’t know if she would be able to hold the rod properly and suddenly felt very self-conscious. She flustered.
‘Here, take it,’ Nikki insisted.
Ariana was about to object, when Nikki thrust the rod into her hand, Nikki guiding Ariana’s hands into the right position. The touch was confident, warm, reassuring.
‘It’s okay,’ you won’t drop it,’ Nikki insisted with a chuckle, abandoning Ariana with the rod. She dived into her bag and pulled out a sandwich. ‘You want some?’ she asked.
Ariana shook her head. The buzzing in her stomach had stolen her appetite. This was so exciting.
Ariana watched Nikki’s movements on the beach now, from the kitchen balcony; she was a stunningly attractive woman, of that there was no doubt. Even at this distance the sight of Nikki, wavy hair dancing as she worked and her muscular, lean body, wreaked havoc with her. It had her insides doing summersaults, her heart racing, her mind playing tricks, presenting possibilities that could never exist. Urrgghh! She couldn’t allow herself the luxury of feeling any connection to this place, nor to this woman, not again. She needed to stay focused, clear the house, sell, and create a new life for her and Soph. She needed to provide Soph with opportunities that the prolonged, messy divorce, depression, and Teresa, had stolen from her over the years. She owed Soph that much.
She turned her attention away from Nikki’s activities. At least the climate was pleasantly warm. The deep blue skies, the odd wispy cloud failing to make its presence felt, the soft ebb and flow of the sea, the light breeze that rustled through the olive groves. There was something quite; she couldn’t think of the word that fell somewhere between, haunting and relaxing, about being here. The pace of life was a lot slower, frustratingly so in fact. And yet, the familiarity of it left her feeling quite, surprisingly, comforted.
She turned, suddenly alerted, her grandmother’s room calling to her. She had to start clearing the house, which remained untouched since Sophia’s death. She sighed deeply. Sorting through Sophia's belongings wasn’t a task she looked forward to, but she needed to do it. And then, she would move onto the list of repairs and redecoration. The thought weighed heavily, her feet slowed, and she climbed the stairs to the master bedroom on the second floor.
She opened the door tentatively. The homely scent of lemon and rose drifted into her awareness and she stopped, reminded of her grandmother, sadness suddenly overwhelming her senses. Her eyes welled up in an instant and tears flooded onto her cheeks. She wiped at them frantically, but they wouldn’t stop. She started to sob loudly, stopped herself to avoid being heard, and closed the door behind her. Her knees refused to carry her, and she slumped to the wooden floor, leaned against the door and allowed her eyes to explore the room, silent tears caressing her face.
The white dressing table sat underneath the east-facing window, affording a stunning view over the olive groves, the bulk of the estate and the east-cove. The white crocheted cloth, upon which rested an ornate jewellery box, a hairbrush and a small hand mirror, were all perfectly positioned. The pictures, of the wildflowers, probably growing somewhere on the surrounding land, adorning the whitewashed walls. The Mediterranean-blue throw over the bed, matching perfectly with the window frames and shutters. The west-facing window, with its view over the taverna, the same aspect as from her bedroom and the kitchen terrace. There was never a shortage of sunlight in the room. Soph
ia always loved the sun, and the warmth, she mused. For the first time, she could feel her heart aching, yearning. She hadn’t had the time to feel two years ago, or even two days ago. Hell, two years ago she couldn’t feel anything! She drew in a breath, released it slowly and stood.
Approaching the dressing table, she could see down to the east-cove to the jetty, in the direction the ledge where she had dozed. The beach was desolate; the Sophia II had departed. The sand lay undisturbed, but for the trail of footsteps leading from the jetty to the path up to the house. She wrapped her arms around her body, not that the weather was cold, the chill of isolation causing her to shiver. Where to start?
*
‘Where’s your Dad?’ Gianna asked.
‘Dunno,’ Soph responded with a shrug, pulling her t-shirt over her head.
Gianna gulped.
‘Come on,’ Soph said, dropping her top to the ground and loosening her shorts.
Gianna stared at the small, blue stone sitting just above Soph’s belly button.
‘It’s a sapphire,’ Soph said with a coy smile. ‘You swimming or what?’ she asked, dropping her shorts, revealing a bikini that in itself revealed a tattoo that climbed from Soph’s upper thigh and across the outside of her belly.
Gianna’s eyes widened. ‘Wow, that’s.’ She gulped. ‘Amazing.’
Soph smiled. ‘It’s a dragon,’ she said.
Gianna scanned the image, her mouth agape.
Soph shoved her in the arm and ran towards the water, laughing. Gianna stripped down to her bathing suit and followed her in.
‘Ahhhh!’ Soph wailed as she surfaced. She ducked under the water again, swam ferociously to nowhere, and then back towards Gianna.
Gianna laughed. ‘It’s not that cold,’ she said, standing with the water to her waist, her arms wrapped across her chest.
Soph’s brows rose, and her lips curled, immediately before she thrashed her hands in the water, dousing Gianna, and laughing hysterically at Gianna’s squeals.
‘You…’ Gianna glared with a mischievous grin. She dived under the water and upended Soph. Both sank, bounced off the sandy floor, and then emerged spluttering with laughter. ‘Have you seen the fish?’ Gianna said, with a twinkle in her eye.
Soph’s eyes widened, and she tried to move swiftly. Held back by the water’s resistance she screamed, her arms flapping until she reached the dry sand.
Gianna bent over, laughing loudly. ‘Really, you’re that scared of fish?’ she asked, through the tears.
Soph grumped. ‘Only since one bit me,’ she harrumphed, her lips beginning to curl at the irrational response.
‘They don’t bite, Soph,’ Gianna said, wading towards her.
‘You sure?’ Soph asked, absorbed by the compassion in Gianna’s sparkling eyes.
‘Sure. Have you ever been snorkelling?’ she asked with a tilt of her head.
Soph shook her head.
‘We can do that one day,’ Gianna said. ‘Come on; the water will feel warmer this time.’ She tilted her head towards the sea, grabbed Soph’s hand and ran them into the water.
Soph didn’t resist, but it didn’t stop her heart thumping in her chest either. She dived beneath the surface and headed for deeper water. With her feet off the ground, she reasoned there would be less chance of being bitten. And, at least there was the distraction of Gianna gliding effortlessly through the water in front of her.
She watched, droplets glistening on Gianna’s tanned skin, her hands pressing calmly against the resistance as she trod water, her legs working tirelessly to keep her afloat. ‘You swim a lot?’ Soph asked.
‘There’s a lot of water here,’ Gianna responded, with an adorable smile.
Soph held her gaze, her feet paddling like a swan’s, her hands steadying her. ‘My mum and dad got divorced,’ she said.
Gianna’s eyes squinted. ‘Sorry,’ she said.
Soph made as if to shrug, but the motion took her face below the water, and she spluttered. Gianna was laughing when she surfaced. It helped. ‘Come on,’ she said, indicating towards the rocks jutting out from below the white house. ‘Let’s go hunt,’ she said, with no idea about what she might catch.
‘We haven’t got a net,’ Gianna said.
‘We can practise,’ she laughed.
Gianna frowned.
‘You know, do like, a recce, and you can teach me,’ she said.
‘Race you?’ Gianna said, her arms working the water effortlessly, her body propelling her forward at a pace.
Soph got off to a slow start, her eyes consumed by the body moving through the water. She didn’t care.
By the time Soph reached the rocks, Gianna was sat on one waiting for her, smiling. Soph looked up and grinned.
*
Ariana wandered down the dirt path leading to the west-cove. She had at least sorted out her grandmother’s clothes. She had made up a bag for throwing away, and the best stuff she would offer to a local shop. Even though tempted to peak, she had stacked the photo albums and diaries without sneaking a look inside. It wouldn’t have done to drag out the process, and she knew if she had started going through them she would still be there now. Then she had walked around the outside of the house taking notes; though not sure what materials she needed to repair the walls or the shutters, other than white and blue paint, which she had found in the garage. Some of the worst affected shutters looked as if they were in need of complete replacement, but she was clueless as to how to even start and didn’t have the wood. She had searched through the double garage and found various tools, most of which she didn’t have a name for or know what to do with them, but she hadn’t found anything that looked like it could be used to repair the rendered walls. She was going to need some help to source the materials, and that would mean asking Nikki. She drew in a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to control the pounding in her chest.
With Sophia’s ashes to collect from Manos, Ariana paced across the beach towards the taverna. Music drifted into her awareness distracting her from her thoughts, and her pulse quickened the closer she got. The beads of sweat glistening on Nikki’s tanned shoulder grabbed her attention, and she cleared her throat, puffing to catch her breath. She raised the sunglasses from her eyes and perched them on her head, clipping her hair back with the move.
Nikki looked up from the table and smiled ruefully at the woman who seemed to do everything at a rate of knots. ‘Hi,’ she said, continuing to set out the cutlery. Resting a napkin under a small coloured stone on the side-plate; Ariana’s soapy scent drifted into her awareness, and the stone leapt from her hand, landing with a thud on the plate. ‘Oops!’ she remarked, her cheeks darkening instantly.
Ariana twitched uncomfortably, too consumed by her agenda to notice Nikki’s awkwardness. The one thing that should have been at the forefront of her mind when she arrived on the island had slipped down her to-do list in her haste to get the house ready for sale, and she was feeling ashamed. ‘I need to collect grandma’s ashes,’ she said, sheepishly.
The smile on Nikki’s face shifted to something more sombre. ‘Ah, yes, of course,’ she said, stopping what she was doing. She left the cutlery in a pile on the table and stepped towards the bar.
Ariana stared, entranced by the view; her eyes tracking the bare shoulders, the exposed back and resting for a moment on the trim waist and the light-blue denim shorts hugging the narrow hips and the firm arse. She gulped, fighting for the words that deserted her. ‘Umm, it doesn’t need to be right now,’ she said, suddenly backtracking as a wave of anxiety hit her in the stomach. ‘I, umm, just mean… I mean I hadn’t mentioned before… I erm…’
Nikki stopped, turned, and gazed at the flustered woman. Her heart slowed a fraction, and she swallowed down the sadness that still clung at the back of her throat at the mention of Sophia. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she asked with genuine concern.
Ariana stood, her eyes locked onto Nikki’s. She didn’t know whether the electric feeling passing do
wn her spine was preferable to the tension and stress that had become her constant companion. At least she seemed to be able to control the latter. The tingling warmth that she experienced around Nikki scared the shit out of her. ‘I… umm. Can you bring the ashes to the house, maybe tomorrow?’ she asked. Her eyes dropped to the sand at her feet. ‘Please?’ she added.
Nikki could feel the ache in her heart growing with the torment of seeing Ariana, of having loved her all these years, and yet feeling so estranged from her. Ariana being here now was even more painful than the years of absence and longing had created. She seemed to have changed beyond all recognition. The woman who stood before her now appeared detached and strangely aloof, just like the woman who had made her leave the island twenty years ago. Teresa. Had Ariana become the very person she had despised back then? ‘Of course,’ she said, answering Ariana’s question. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ she asked. ‘Since you are here,’ she added.
Ariana glanced around as if looking for a reason to reject the offer. There was so much to do and so little time, the mantra started.
‘Please?’ Nikki insisted.
‘Thank you,’ Ariana nodded, a tight smile containing the desire that niggled just below the surface; a longing that would have her racing back across the sand, up the hill and locked behind the walls of the white house for fear of the consequences of acting on her feelings.
‘Coffee?’ Nikki asked, studying Ariana curiously. She was even more beautiful, she mused.
‘Yes, thanks.’ Ariana replied, averting the quizzical hazel-eyes resting on her, causing her to flush. Settling her gaze on the driftwood bench, her feet responding to her thoughts, she strolled towards it.
Nikki smiled at the apparent slowing of Ariana’s pace.