by Emma Nichols
*
Nikki rubbed the sandpaper aggressively over the newly repaired wood on the boat, her mood oscillating between fiery anger and profound sadness. She wiped at the tears trickling onto her cheeks, berated herself, for what, she wasn’t quite sure, and continued rubbing fiercely. She cursed as the coarse paper ripped the skin off her finger, studied the sore spot vacantly until the red liquid oozed from the cut. Served her right for not taking better care, wearing gloves, slowing down. She ignored the small scrape and continued to sand down the wood, with a little less force.
She had drunk too much last night, but not enough to kill the pain. After returning from fishing, she had studied the copy of the finance contract then ripped it into tiny pieces, an empty gesture but symbolic nonetheless. Then she had tossed and turned all night, eventually falling asleep as dawn appeared. By the time she awoke, Manos had taken the ferry to Ithaka.
She stopped rubbing, studied her fingers, raw from the friction, and noted that her hands were shaking. Anger exhausted and the feeling of vulnerability encroached, guiding the shaking to her core. She doubled over, crumpling to her knees and sobbed.
Ariana gasped at the sound emanating from the workshop. She hurried through the bar and came to a halt in the open doorway, her mouth agape, her breath poised. ‘Nikki!’ she exclaimed, rushing towards the heap on the floor.
Nikki shrugged off the contact, turned away, silently screaming, the intensity of the pain increasing with Ariana’s presence.
Ariana faltered at the rejection. She stood, for what felt like a lifetime, unsure of the right thing to do. If she walked away now, there would be no going back; they would have nothing left to repair. She had come down to the taverna to talk, to explain, to work out how to stop the sale. Dropping to the floor, she pulled Nikki into her arms with a quality of strength and confidence she hadn’t known existed within her.
Nikki’s initial resistance softened in the warmth and security of the embrace, Ariana’s arms firmly clasped around her body telling her she wasn’t going to let go, her head pressed against Ariana’s chest.
‘I’m not leaving you,’ Ariana whispered.
Nikki continued to whimper unable to process the words she so desperately wanted to hear.
‘I’m not leaving,’ Ariana repeated.
The sobbing stopped, the rocking continued.
‘I love you,’ Ariana said, placing light kisses to the top of Nikki’s damp hair, squeezing her tightly. Nikki felt so good in her arms.
Nikki could feel her breathing relax as the sobs abated, and the warm sensation against her cheek felt comforting and reassuring. Ariana’s sweet scent transformed and transfixed her at that moment, and her world shifted on its axis. The dense darkness that had pushed her to the floor was slowly lifting, a light, airy feeling bringing with it a new, fresh, wave of tears. She eased out of the hold, Ariana’s arms still clinging around her waist, searching for a visual affirmation of the words she had just heard. She smiled wearily through the tears, at Ariana’s wet face.
Ariana smiled affectionately and started to chuckle. ‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to leave, no matter what happens with the house,’ she said.
Nikki’s smile grew slowly, and she rubbed at her wet cheeks. ‘I love you,’ she said, in a whispered voice.
Ariana leaned in closing the gap between them. She needed to feel Nikki’s lips on hers. ‘I love…’
Nikki’s mouth stole the words from Ariana’s lips, crashing down and connecting them with such intensity that nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed. She pulled Ariana deeper into the kiss, seduced by the salty taste on her lips and the feel of Ariana’s tongue playing with her own, her hands pulling Ariana’s body closer.
Ariana eased out of the kiss and gazed into Nikki’s eyes, her fingers tracing the line of her cheek and jaw, her voice soft. ‘What am I going to do?’ she asked.
Nikki hadn’t heard the question. Ariana was in love with her. The words circled, built, settled. That was all that mattered. ‘I love you so much,’ she said, with a smile that lightened her hazel eyes. She leaned into the fingers caressing her face, closed her eyes, and cupped Ariana’s hand to her mouth.
Goosebumps flew up Ariana’s arm and down her neck, and she shuddered. ‘Mmm,’ she murmured, the tingling down her spine continuing to light up her core.
Nikki stood, pulled Ariana to her feet, swept her into a firm hold and studied her adoringly. The intensity in her dark brown eyes seemed to open a path directly to Ariana’s soul. The dimple in her flushed cheek revealed the depth of the smile on her red lips. The delicate lines caressing her almond-shaped eyes highlighted the sun-tanned skin of her cheeks. And then her ash-blonde hair, bleached by the sunlight. She looked stunning. Intoxicating; so beautiful. Engrossed in Ariana’s sweet scent, Nikki drew closer, her lips touching Ariana’s, delicately sensing her, calling to her. She caressed Ariana’s mouth with her tongue, tasting, testing.
Ariana groaned softly, her mouth eager to respond, paralysed by the seductive touch to which Nikki was subjecting her. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed this feeling, longed for this connection, this sense of oneness. Completeness. Nikki’s soft lips were pressing against hers, and her strong hands were holding her with such assurance and yet such tenderness; it felt perfect. Nikki was perfect.
‘Huhum.’ Soph cleared her throat, observing the intimate embrace with embarrassed amusement.
Ariana eased away from Nikki’s lips, but not from her arms. ‘Hey,’ she said, her eyes soft, her smile warm.
‘Hey Soph,’ Nikki said, her tone displaying the vulnerability that still lingered. She leaned closer to Ariana and placed a tender kiss on her head.
Soph’s grin widened. ‘Sorry, I was just coming to see if we could take a boat out and fish,’ she said, directing the statement at Nikki.
‘Sure,’ Nikki said, nodding towards the beached motorboat to the right of the jetty. ‘Make sure you wear life-jackets,’ she said, with mild authority.
‘Sure,’ Soph said, bouncing back through the bar and informing Gianna. The two young women chased across the beach, squealing with delight.
Nikki sighed wearily and pulled Ariana into a hug. ‘She looks happier,’ she said.
‘I told her we’re not leaving,’ Ariana replied with a warm smile.
‘What about Gianna? Nikki asked. ‘Manos mentioned Nikos has another job,’ she added.
Ariana took in a deep breath and released it slowly, her head resting heavily against Nikki’s chest. ‘I don’t know what to do about the sale,’ she said.
Nikki nodded. ‘Later,’ she said.
Ariana nodded.
‘Want to help me prep for lunch?’ Nikki asked. She didn’t want the house sale to cast a shadow over Ariana’s decision to stay.
‘I’d like that,’ Ariana said, easing out of the hug a fraction and pressing a tender kiss to Nikki’s deliciously tanned neck.
Nikki groaned. ‘That’s not helpful,’ she said, with a chuckle. She was finding it hard to adjust to the shift between them, wanting to believe Ariana was in love with her, yet expecting to wake up from some horrid trick of her imagination. She chastised herself for the insecurity that had her defences raised, her heart competing with her innate desire to protect herself.
Ariana continued to kiss up her neck, lingering, taking in the flowery-spicy scent, nipping at her ear, groaning, ‘Mmm.’
Nikki pulled back with a wild look in her eyes and a tired smile. ‘We’ve got work to do,’ she said with a broken voice, taking Ariana by the hand and leading her through to the kitchen. She stopped, turned Ariana towards her, and caressed her cheek. ‘We’ll talk about the house when Manos gets back,’ she confirmed.
Ariana glanced around the bar and then across the beach to the water. She hadn’t noticed the vacant spot at the jetty when she’d walked from the house. ‘Where is he?’ she asked suddenly distracted.
‘He’s fetching some wood and bits,’ she said, indi
cating with her eyes to the workshop.
‘I need to speak to him,’ Ariana said in a hushed voice, as if to herself.
Nikki nodded. ‘Later,’ she whispered, coaxing Ariana into the kitchen.
18.
Ariana sat on the wooden slats, her feet dangling in the warm sea at the end of the jetty. Looking into the clear water, she marvelled at the vast shoals of tiny sandy-silver coloured fish, darting this way and that, holding formation as they navigated the rocks on the seabed. Her toes tickled the water; the fish reacted; Ariana smiled. She didn’t need to look up to know the ferry was larger than it had been a moment ago, the jangling nerves in her stomach told her so. She tried to breathe through the tightness in her chest, but the pounding of her heart was making it impossible.
She had insisted to Nikki that she wait for Manos alone. Nikki had simply nodded, and taken herself into the workshop after lunch. Ariana had wandered along the beach for a while going over what she wanted to say to him, but now all that was redundant.
Her mouth dry, her lips refusing to move, she stood and stared at the approaching boat, her body trembling. She watched as the whirring and grinding of the engines, and the white foam spurting at the rear of the boat brought the ferry to a stop next to the jetty. ‘Aye,’ Manos shouted, with a broad grin, throwing a rope from the deck onto the wooden slats.
Ariana instinctively grabbed the rope and wound it around a metal post. She stood, speechless, time slowing, observing Manos step off the deck and secure the ferry firmly to the jetty. Two local men followed him off the boat and ambled up the beach towards the bar.
Manos stretched, studied Ariana’s intense silence, and smiled warmly. ‘Everything okay?’ he asked.
‘Are you my father?’ Ariana said, the words coming out with more calmness than she felt.
His eyes shifted from her for a moment, his lips pinched, and he sucked through his teeth. When he looked back at her, the sincerity in his gaze was unquestionable. ‘Yes,’ he said, his voice quiet, his head nodding, almost imperceptibly. A coy smile teased at his lips, pride danced in his eyes, but he remained respectfully reserved.
Ariana’s eyes fell to the wooden slats under her feet and then her restless hands by her side. ‘Oh!’ she replied. It wasn’t one of the well-rehearsed lines, and she didn’t know where it came from. She hadn’t known how she might respond to facing Manos and directly confronting the truth. She hadn’t expected the anxiety that had plagued her to disappear in an instant, or the tenderness of affection she felt as she held his loving eyes. There was warmth spreading from her chest, releasing the tension from her muscles, and a soft chuckle bubbling up inside. She looked up. His gaze held concern and reassurance, and a smile slowly emerged on her face. The urgency, the questions she wanted to ask, had diffused. They needed to talk, but that could wait. He stepped towards her with arms open, and when they folded around her, she melted against his chest, the subtle smell of diesel-oil triggering something recognisable, something intangible yet genuine. Home.
Manos kissed the top of Ariana’s head and released her from his grip, his chest bursting with pride, and love. He hadn’t believed Sophia at first, though he had wanted to, when she had assured him repeatedly that Ariana would return. ‘You want to give me a hand?’ he asked, indicating to the planks of wood and other items lying on the deck and stepping onto the boat.
Ariana nodded. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ she asked, unable to contain the question that had been burning on her lips since the penny had dropped.
He stopped and held her inquisitive gaze. ‘I promised your mother,’ he said, a solemnness overcoming his eyes as he spoke. He studied his daughter as she processed the words, an unfamiliar surge of adrenaline reminding him he was totally unprepared for the discussion he knew he needed to have. ‘Let’s get a drink,’ he said, the unloading of the ferry could wait. Nikki would have questions too, and he owed it to them both to provide the answers he had.
Ariana nodded and followed him up the beach.
‘What would you like?’ he asked, approaching the bar and urging her to sit at table number 5.
‘Beer, please.’
Ariana sat, her breathing relaxed and an unexpected feeling of calm occupying the muscles in her body. The taverna was empty but for the two men who had just disembarked the boat, who leaned on the bar chatting happily, as they probably did after every trip.
‘I’ll get Nikki,’ he said, heading through the back of the bar.
He approached with two bottles of beer and a clear glass filled to the brim. Placing them on the table, he sat at the head of the table, to Ariana’s right. The aniseed aroma drifted into her awareness, warming and unexpectedly comforting. She watched his eyes studying her and welcomed the interruption when Nikki approached, with tiny wood shavings stuck to her arm and forehead. Ariana smiled. Nikki sat opposite her, closing the triangle around the table, reached for the beer and gulped down the cold liquid with ease. She had turned her attention to Manos, her eyes seeking answers. She looked tired, drained. Ariana’s smile oozed the love that she felt.
Manos cleared his throat, picked up his drink and took a long slow sip. He placed the glass delicately on the table, rotating it on the spot. ‘Teresa and I were engaged to be married,’ he started.
Nikki flinched.
‘I loved her more than life,’ he said, a soft twinkle in his eye. His demeanour shifted in the same moment. ‘But, she never loved me back, not really,’ he said, with genuine remorse. ‘I think, in honesty, she agreed to marry me because the prospect of anyone else coming along was slim and she couldn’t leave the island, not without someone to take care of her. At that point, the estate was financially struggling, and she didn’t have the funds to be able to leave on her own. She never wanted to stay here though; she had grown to hate it.’
Ariana frowned, hating her mother more by the second.
‘When Aaron Carter arrived, we had been engaged for about eighteen months, but Teresa had been putting off setting a date for the wedding, and.’ He paused, reached his glass to his lips and sipped. ‘She married him within two months of knowing him,’ he continued, his tone flat, a thin sheen forming on his dark eyes. ‘I didn’t know for sure when you were born, but the timings gave me cause to suspect. Teresa vehemently denied that I was your father and invested all her time ensuring you kept away from me, and this place,’ he said, his eyes wandering fondly around the taverna. ‘I think she hated me by then, too. Especially being stuck here for so many years before Aaron made his fortune,’ he added philosophically, his eyebrows rising. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t have the heart to challenge your mother,’ he said, glancing at Ariana. ‘It would have ruined her life and her marriage, and I couldn’t do that to the woman I loved. I wouldn’t have wanted her living here with me and resenting every moment of it. And, out of respect for Sophia, I couldn’t bring disgrace to her family either. And, at that point, I still wasn’t completely sure. Lord knows I’ve questioned whether I should have done things differently every day since,’ he said, his hand shaking as it made its way uneasily to his lips. ‘I got lucky,’ he said, a half-smile forming with his thoughts. He looked from Ariana to Nikki and back again, both women poised, waiting on his words. ‘I assumed Teresa would leave the island at the earliest opportunity and as luck would have it for me, that turned out to be fifteen-years later than she would have liked.’ He chuckled. ‘I had the privilege of having you in my life, even if at a short distance.’ He held Ariana’s gaze. ‘It was only after Teresa took you away from here that Sophia and I talked.’ He stopped, waited.
Nikki sat up in her seat and her eyes rested longingly on Ariana.
Tears flowed down Ariana’s cheeks. ‘Sophia knew,’ she said, her voice broken.
‘Yes. Sophia had suspected from the start too, but by the time she found out the truth you had settled in the UK. She never trusted Aaron, but Teresa was a strong woman and adept at getting her own way,’ Manos said, sucking through his teeth.
; Ariana swiped at the tears with one hand, Nikki reached across the table and held the other.
‘I’m sorry, Ariana. I feel I’ve let you down. I didn’t think about the impact on you.’ He wiped at his damp cheeks.
Ariana released a long breath, reached out and squeezed his arm. Reminded of the many times he had entertained her and Nikki on the beach as a child, cooked for them and hidden them in the face of Teresa’s wrath, she smiled warmly. She didn’t understand her mother, she never would, and she didn’t plan to try. Teresa was dead to her. She wiped at her cheeks, a confident smile directed at Nikki before looking back to Manos with a sense of having been reborn.
‘You have a granddaughter,’ she said, a slight chuckle bursting through the tears.
‘I do,’ he said, his cheeks glistening, the stubble curling on his dimpled cheeks. He glanced across to Nikki. ‘I’m sorry, I couldn’t say anything to you,’ he said, reaching out and squeezing her hand.
Nikki nodded. She couldn’t feel more vulnerable than she did right now, her insides still trembling from the events of the last few hours, but she understood his dilemma. ‘What about the house?’ she asked.