by S. E. Rose
“Sure thing, gorgeous.” He kisses my hair lightly as he reaches behind me and grabs a pen and paper. “Here you go.”
I start writing.
Mother – Rosa Miranda Rodriguez Ramirez (died April 7, 1993, age 15)
Father – ???
Grandmother – Maria Liliana Ramirez Rodriguez
Grandfather – Francisco Alberto Rodriguez Caraval
Godmother – Lorena Daniella Abando Aguilar (went to same church as Mom)
Godfather – Felipe Jose Aguilar Sanchez (possibly cousin of Lorena)
Doctor – Dr. Juan Cristian Garcia Sanchez
Father James – worked with Mom? Baptized Mom?
Sister Margaret – taught Mom Sunday school
Maria Anna – lady who cared for Nick and me at orphanage
I stop and look at the list, tapping the pen against the counter and then putting the end against my bottom lip.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Lance says, looking at the list.
“I want to see if I can find Lorena and my grandparents. I can’t figure out why my grandparents wouldn’t have come looking for my mom at the hospital. She was only fifteen. It seems strange. I understand they were likely poor, I mean it’s not a great neighborhood. But still, something doesn’t seem right.”
“Maybe they couldn’t, or they weren’t alive or maybe they were sick or moved? There could be a whole litany of reasons why. Maybe she ran away?” he brainstorms.
“Well, we’re going to find out,” I say, feeling rather determined.
He smiles and takes my hand in his. “I have no doubt you will. But regrettably, I will need to take you back soon,” he says as he looks at the clock on the wall.
I nod and head upstairs to pack my things and shower. As I turn the faucet on and wait for the hot water, I feel Lance’s arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me against him. I can feel his hardness pressed against my back. I turn around and look up at him. He seems so much taller now as I stand naked in his arms. He grins, as though reading my mind, and in a true testament to his strength he very slowly pulls me up his body until our faces meet. I grin.
“Better,” he murmurs against my lips.
“Yes, much,” I whisper back as I wrap my legs around his waist.
He walks us into the shower and holds me under the hot water, kissing me slowly.
“I’m not sure I want to take you back this morning,” he murmurs in between kisses.
“Me either,” I sigh as I press my forehead against his.
“Do you think you could get more days off?”
“Not right now. They don’t have any other volunteers,” I explain as he lowers me until my feet hit the warmed tiles. I talk about the staff or lack thereof as he washes my hair and body. I return the favor all while continuing to talk about the kids and my time volunteering.
“You really love the kids, don’t you?” he asks with a smile.
I laugh. “Most of the time. I guess I just understand them.”
“I think I’m beginning to understand you,” he says, smiling as he brings his lips to mine. As he deepens our kiss, I feel my need for him blossom. I push myself against his hard frame, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer to me.
“Lily, we aren’t going to finish here if you keep doing that,” he says against my lips.
“I’m not on a schedule this morning,” I say, smiling back at him.
I jump up and wrap my legs around him as his arms come around me tightly. I feel protected by him, safe in our embrace. He turns and leans us against the tile shower wall. I can feel his erection against my entrance and I thrust my hips against him. He smiles at me again.
“I think I created a monster,” he says.
I smirk at him. “I want what I want. What can I say?”
“Oh really,” he says. “Greedy, are you?”
“For you,” I whisper, feeling brave at the moment.
He lifts me slightly and guides me down onto him. He makes love to me slowly, his lips never leaving mine. I get lost in our movements. I can feel his strength as his muscles strain and move against me.
“Come with me, Lily,” he says into my mouth as I feel him enlarge inside of me. And then I’m lost to the sensations as my cries are captured by his lips, his tongue, and the heat of his breath as he moans in response before stilling against me. We stay like this for a minute or two as our rapid breathing slows, our foreheads touching one another.
“Lily…,” he whispers as his one hand moves from cupping my ass to caressing my cheek. I look into his eyes and we don’t need to say anything as unspoken words pass between us. He lowers me gently down as he slides out of me. And immediately, I miss our physical connection. He washes me again with soap before we finally dry off and dress. We head out then, driving for a while in silence, his hand clutching mine as though he’s afraid to break the physical contact with me.
“When will you be able to take another day off?” he asks as we approach the orphanage.
“Maybe in a week?” I answer. “I don’t know yet. I’ll text you.”
“What about looking for Lorena and your grandparents?” he questions, bringing my thoughts back to my original mission.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m going to have to figure that out. Maybe I’ll have time to do some searching on the internet.”
“When are you going to tell Nick?” he continues.
“Soon, very soon,” I say. I know I can’t keep this from my brother much longer. He already senses that I’m keeping something. I just need to figure some more out before I tell him. There are too many questions and not enough answers. I resolve to give the directora my two weeks’ notice this afternoon. I turn to Lance.
“If I were to finish volunteering earlier than I anticipated, hypothetically speaking, do you think Cody would let me stay with you guys?” I ask him.
He doesn’t answer right away but instead pulls the car over into the parking lot of a little highway restaurant that isn’t open for lunch yet. He reaches across me and unbuckles my seatbelt and then pushes his seat back, pulling me over onto his lap. His hands cup my face and I look at him unsure of what his answer could be but hoping that I am reading his emotions correctly.
“Gorgeous, you are always welcome in any home I am in,” he says as he brings his lips to mine. Then he pulls back and looks into my eyes. “Always, understand?”
“I think so,” I say quietly. “So, you think he’ll be OK with it?”
Lance laughs. “Yes, and if he’s not, screw him! I’ll find us another villa.”
I laugh too and then my laughter unexpectedly turns to tears. The events of the past few weeks come crashing down on me out of nowhere.
“Lily, what’s wrong, baby?” he says, wiping my tears with his fingers.
“I…I’m just over…overwhelmed,” I manage to say in between sobs.
“Are we moving too fast?” he asks, his voice rising with panic. “We can slow—”
“No!” I cut him off. “No, I just…I…I’m happy but confused and there’s so much I’ve just learned and figured out and experienced the last few weeks.”
He takes me in his arms and holds me while I cry. His hands are strong but gentle as they rub my back. He reaches into his pocket and hands me a handkerchief, an actual handkerchief. Who the hell carries a handkerchief?
“Here,” he says softly in my ear.
I stop crying immediately and stare at it.
“It’s a—” he starts, but I don’t let him finish.
“A handkerchief, I know,” I say, taking it in my hand, I look down and see the initials, ABC. “It’s not yours?”
“It was my grandfather’s,” he points at the initials, “Akin Bentley Cunningham.”
“Oh,” I say and then I feel more stitching on the back side and I flip it over. In a beautiful embroidery, it says “To Lance, Because a gentleman always carries one. With all my love, Grandmom” and then there is a rainbow coming out of the clo
ud but instead of a pot of gold at the end, there is a heart. I raise an eyebrow and look at him.
“My grandmom always said I reminded her of my grandfather,” he explains. “When he died, she said she wanted me to have it. He always wore one in his work suits. I remember seeing it in a photo when I was young and asking about it. He died when we were only three or four. Anyhow, she always said that love, not money, makes us rich and so we should seek love, not riches. I keep it with me to remind me of them and of what is really important.”
I smile and dab my eyes and nose.
“I’ll clean it for you,” I say to him feeling the stitchwork against my fingertips. He wraps his hand around mine and the handkerchief.
“No, you keep it,” he says.
“Oh no, I couldn’t,” I say. I understand this sentiment. Slowly, I reach into my bra, there’s a little pocket part of it where additional padding goes into it. I pull out a small photo, one of four from a strip of photos that came from a photo booth. I hand it to him and he runs his finger over it. It’s a photo of my dad and me.
“Is this your father?” he asks. I nod. “You look young, thirteen, fourteen?”
“I had just turned fourteen. This was taken a few days before my dad died. I had a bad day at school and when my dad got home, he didn’t say anything. He just grabbed my hand and told my mom we were going out for a bit. He took me to play indoor minigolf and they had a photo booth and arcade. We split the photos. I took two and he took two. The next morning, I woke up and this one, one of his, was on my nightstand,” I explain. I watch as Lance runs his fingers over it again feeling the indentations of the pen marks. He studies our silly faces. I am making a silly face and my dad copies my silly face. You can see the laughter and love etched on our expressions. He flips it over and reads the inscription.
“Dearest Lilypond, No matter how hard life gets, just remember I love you. You are stronger and braver than you know. Love, Daddy P.S. Never lose your silliness, curiosity, and passion. That is what makes you, you and you are amazing,” he finishes and looks at me. “You always carry this with you?”
“Yes,” I say barely audibly.
He hands it back to me and I tuck it back away.
“Thank you,” he says.
“For what?” I ask.
“For sharing that with me,” he says. He sighs. “I know you are guarded, Lily. I’m doing my best to give you your space when I think you need it. But it’s not easy for me. I just want to carry you away to a deserted island and keep you safe and protected from the world.”
I grin at him.
“What?”
“My dad used to say something like that,” I say. “Lily, I wish I could fly us all away to a secret island where we could live like the Swiss Family Robinson and I could keep you all safe.” I mimic my dad’s voice, allowing myself to smile at the memory.
“He clearly loved you very much,” he says, touching my breast where I have stuck the photo. I cover his hand with mine and nod before I crawl out of his lap and back to my side of the car.
We drive the last five miles and then turn off to the orphanage. I go inside and can’t seem to muster the bravery to talk with the directora about leaving, so I get to work instead.
Chapter 11
Lily’s Playlist: “Ride” by twenty one pilots
The next few days go by quickly. I spend every free second scouring the internet and social media for any sign of my grandparents, Lorena or even Felipe, her cousin. Lance is looking as well, and we text multiple times a day trying to brainstorm other places to look. Kids seem to continue to come and go. One girl runs away at night, or so I’m told, and then a little girl is picked up during the day. I find this all a bit odd and I become curious about where the kids are going.
I resolve that I’ll see if I can meet with the foster care folks next time I’m in town. I call under the guise of researching my file and get an appointment on Friday with a woman who runs adoption services. I’m formulating a plan to get out of my duties on Friday, although I’m feeling super guilty about it and am having second thoughts. It’s Wednesday, I tell myself, and I need to figure it out soon. But then, Patricia stops in the hall and says we have a team meeting with the directora in thirty minutes. My mind begins to wonder. We’ve never all been called at once, although Patricia seems unfazed by the announcement.
The directora ushers us into her office and announces we have a new volunteer coming. She is a woman training to be a social worker that wanted to come and stay for a few months to see how things run in the orphanage. She explains that the woman, Lucia, will arrive on Thursday and that Lucia and I will split duties as she knows I’ll need to get back home in a few weeks. I decide to announce my early departure.
The directora seems sad about this. I also seem to sense relief from her. I’m confused by the emotions I am sensing from her. She asks when I’ll be leaving, and I explain that I’ll stay through this week and the next to help Lucia acclimate. She nods her understanding and then dismisses us.
Yenny gives my arm a squeeze as we leave and says how much she’ll miss me. Patricia also nods toward me, thanking me for my time here. It almost feels like they are already saying goodbye to me. The whole thing seems strange and I find a quiet moment and text Lance.
Lily: I put in my two weeks
Lance: Really?
Lily: Yes. A new volunteer starts Thursday. Can you come get me Thursday? I can stay with you Thursday-Sunday and then my last few days will be Monday-Wednesday next week.
Lance: Absolutely
Lily: Thank you!!
Lance: Anything for you, gorgeous
Lily: You’re making me blush
Lance: I wish I were there to see that but then I think my reaction would be inappropriate in front of the children
Lily: OK, now I’m bright red. NO FAIR!
Lance: ;)
I laugh and stick my phone in my pocket before heading into the courtyard to monitor a game of soccer.
Lance picks me up bright and early on Thursday, although I make him wait till Lucia arrives and I can show her around. Lance patiently hangs out in the courtyard, pushing a few kids on swings as I show Lucia various schedules and introduce the kids to her. She seems nice enough. She’s younger, in her early twenties. She asks a few questions and I explain that she’ll likely move up to my room when I leave in a week. Once I feel Lucia has the swing of things, I head outside and see Leidy directing Lance again. This time he has fairy wings and a wand.
“Nice look,” I say with a wink.
He chuckles. “Well, it was this or a princess again. I decided to expand my repertoire.”
“Your dress-up skills are impressive Obi-Wan Kenobi, please teach me your ways?” I smirk as I head toward the car.
Lance chucks the wand and wings to Leidy and gives her a pat on the head before heading toward the gate. As we walk through it, he pinches my backside and I yelp. He leans in against my ear.
“Oh, I’ll show you my ways, darling, but you won’t be dressed up,” he whispers. “In fact, you won’t be dressed at all.”
I shiver as his hand runs down my spine. He opens the car door for me, and I get in and buckle my seatbelt.
“I should warn you though, Cody’s back,” he announces as he starts the car. “And, we are invited to a dinner tomorrow night with one of his colleagues.”
“OK,” I say. “Uh, a nice dinner?”
“Sort of, why?” Lance asks, frowning.
“Could we swing by the mall then? I need to pick up something to wear,” I explain. “I didn’t really pack for going out.”
“Sure, no problem,” he says with a chuckle and he pulls onto the highway. “So, I have other news for you.”
I lean toward him with curiosity. “What?”
“I think I found your grandparents’ neighborhood.”
“What?” My mouth drops open. Why wouldn’t he have told me this? “Lance, I…you didn’t say anything.” I can feel myself getting angry.
“I know. I wanted to be sure,” he explains and places his hand over mine. “I got a text confirming it while I was playing the part of the evil fairy godmother.”
I giggle, my anger fading. Damn it, he’s hard to stay mad at for long. “You are an adorable fairy.”
“Please don’t say things like that to me,” he groans.
I giggle again. “OK, so spill it.”
“Well, I figured that they had to live somewhere near the church. So, I hired this guy, who’s kind of like a PI, to ask around and he found an older lady who claims to know them, but they don’t live there any longer.”
“Can we talk to her?”
“Yes, we’re going to drop in later today.”
I take in a deep breath. “OK,” I say as I try to ready myself for more knowledge.
Chapter 12
Lily’s Playlist: “Don’t You Worry Child” by Swedish House Mafia
We find a little restaurant on the way to meet the mysterious, old lady that Lance has found. I find myself quiet, deep in thought as we sip mango juice and eat empanadas and arepas. I watch little birds pick at a piece of fruit a child has dropped on the ground. The pigeons fight with each other for it, putting one wing up in the air while chirping.
“You still with me, gorgeous?” I hear Lance ask.
My eyes pop up to his and he has a grin on his face. “Yes, I was just thinking.”
“I could tell. Let me guess you were wondering if we will ever come down from the caffeine high we have been on while we are here?” He gives me a small grin and then stirs his coffee with a small spoon. He reaches over and covers my hand with his, stroking the back of it with his thumb. The soft, gentle touch suddenly floods me with desire and I almost ask Lance to chuck this witch hunt and take me back to the villa. I can tell that he sees right through me because he gives the smallest, nearly unperceivable shake of his head. I’m fairly certain I have a pouty face because he laughs and brings my hand up to his lips, peppering the back with several kisses.
“Let’s go meet this lady first, gorgeous,” he says softly as he leans in to kiss my cheek.