“How long will she be asleep?” I hate the sound of my voice breaking.
“We don’t know for sure. We have given her medicine to keep her in the coma until the swelling on her brain eases, and after that, it’s up to her.”
We’re all quiet as we take it in. Jesus, Jack did a number on her. Cara is wrapped in Josh’s arms, slowing rocking back and forth. Jill is sitting next to Zack, leaning on his arm, hiccuping from her sobs.
“I need to see her.”
“I can take you back, but, Ty, I’m warning you, she doesn’t look like herself. She’s heavily bandaged, and bruised. Swollen. And she’s hooked up to a ventilator.”
“She’s not breathing on her own?” I ask incredulously.
“Not while she’s in the coma, no.”
I blanch, nod once, and take a deep breath as I stand. “Can they come back as well?”
“One at a time, but only people you approve.”
“Jill?”
She nods and takes my hand as we follow the doctor to Lauren’s room. It’s quiet back here and smells of antiseptic. The lights are dim in Lo’s room. She looks so small in the bed, her head elevated and eyes closed. Bandages cover her nose and her neck.
“What happened to her neck?”
“She has a shallow cut. We suspect he held a knife to her.” Dr. Black’s voice is low.
I’m going to kill that motherfucker with my bare hands.
“She actually looks better than she did when we found her.” Jill sniffles.
I can’t move. My world is in this bed, unconscious and broken. The machines beep softly, measuring what I’m not sure, and Lo’s chest rises and lowers with each breath from the machine.
“Is she going to be okay?” I whisper.
“I believe so,” Dr. Black murmurs. “But it’s going to be a painful recovery. I need that swelling in her brain to go down, and then we need her to wake up before we’ll know for sure.” He pats me on the shoulder and backs away. “I’ll leave you with her.”
“You can touch her.” Jill squeezes my hand once. “Do you want me to leave you alone with her?”
I nod and feel Jill kiss my hand, then she leaves the room, the door shutting softly behind her. Finally, my feet move and I lower slowly into the chair at Lo’s bedside. I reach out and take her soft hand in mine, relieved to feel how warm her skin is, and it’s my undoing.
I pull her hand up to my mouth and the tears come. Why didn’t I tell her yesterday how much I love her? Why didn’t I show her more often how fucking amazing she is?
“Baby, I need you to get better for me, okay? I have stuff I need to say, sweetness, and I need you whole and strong and with me for a very long time. So you just sleep and get better.”
The tears continue to flow as I watch her still body. I sit for long minutes that stretch into hours, just watching her face. Nurses and doctors come and go, checking on her, asking me if I need anything.
I just need her well.
“Hey, man,” Josh whispers as he comes in the room, then swears under his breath when he sees Lo. “Fucking Christ.”
“I’m going to kill him.”
“I’ll help you,” Josh replies grimly. “How are you?”
“Pissed off and devastated. Imagine how you’d feel if this was Cara.”
He shakes his head and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I get it, man. I just wanted to let you know that we’re going to go get some food and some sleep. It’s already almost nine.”
“I had no idea.” There is no sense of time in here, just the measure of Lo’s heartbeat and the breaths the machines give her. “You guys should go.”
“Do you want me to bring you back anything?”
“No.”
“We’re going to come stay with you in shifts. Zack and Jill are coming back after we eat, and then Cara and I will be here in the morning.”
“You don’t have to do that.” I feel tears form in my eyes as I gaze up at my best friend.
“Yes we do, Ty. You’re our family. My parents were here for a while, and they’ll be back tomorrow. My mom will probably bring you food, so just eat it and save yourself the argument.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“She’s going to be okay. She’s strong.”
I nod and brush Lo’s hair off her forehead, barely grazing her warm skin with my thumb. “I pray you’re right.”
“Good morning.” Cara pokes her head in the doorway two days later. “Zack and Jill just left, and Josh and I are here.”
“Come on in.” I’ve been staring at the same article in the newspaper for the past thirty minutes. I still have no idea what it says.
“You look like shit.” She sits across from me on the other side of Lo. She offers me a hot cup of coffee, which I take gratefully.
“I feel like shit.”
“Well, you look like it.”
“If this is your idea of a pep talk, you can just go now.”
She shakes her head and looks down at Lo. Tears fill her hazel eyes. “I’m so sorry about this.”
“It’s not your fault, little one.”
“Jack’s being charged with attempted murder, Ty.”
My head jerks up to meet her gaze. “Not just an assault charge?”
“No. He beat her with the intention of killing her.” Cara shakes her head and takes a sip of her coffee. “He’s crazy.”
I swear under my breath and rub my fingers over my mouth as the doctor and nurse that just came on shift walk through the door. In the days since the incident, little has changed in Lo’s condition.
I haven’t left the hospital since I got here. Have barely left Lauren’s side.
I want to be here when she wakes up.
The girls have taken turns sitting by Lauren’s side, reading to her for hours on end. I’ve managed to tune out their voices, concentrating only on my girl, willing her to recover as quickly as possible.
“Mr. Sullivan,” Dr. Shay nods at me and peruses through Lo’s chart. “There is definite improvement on this morning’s CT scan.”
“There is?”
The doctor nods again and glances up at a monitor before making notes on the chart. “Her swelling is going down. I’m hoping to lessen the medication keeping her asleep today to see if she’ll wake up on her own.”
“Hear that, sweetness? You’re doing great.” I lean in and gently kiss her cheek. Her face is still battered, but the swelling there is going down too. Now she’s just a riot of color, almost everywhere. When they gave her a sponge bath last night, pulling up her nightgown, it took everything in me not to run out and beat the shit out of Jack.
I don’t give a shit that he’s in jail.
“In fact, let’s not give the next dose and do another CT scan this afternoon.”
The nurse nods, takes notes, and they both smile at me before leaving the room.
“This is good news.” Cara has a wide smile on her face. “Oh! I almost forgot! I have Lo’s phone.” She pulls it out of her bag and passes it to me. “Someone named Emily has been blowing it up.”
“Shit, she’s going to be worried. They talk just about every day.”
I wake up Lo’s phone and dial Emily’s number.
“It’s about damn time! Just because you’re having naughty sex with the hot lawyer doesn’t mean that you can just ignore me!”
My lips twitch and I clear my throat. “This isn’t Lauren, Emily, this is Ty.”
“What’s wrong?”
I relay the story to her, and by the time it’s over, she’s crying. “I’m so sorry,” she murmurs.
“It’s not your fault, Emily. I thought you should know why she’s not been responding to you.”
“I’m coming out there.” I hear her clear her throat and begin shuffling papers around. “I make a ton of money, there’s no reason that I can’t just pack up and come out. Let me talk with the nanny and my husband and make the arrangements and I’ll call you back.”
“You don’t have t
o—”
“Yes, I do. She’s my best friend, Ty.”
I look over to Lo and realize that she can use all the friends she has here with her. “Okay. Let me know when you’ll be flying in and I’ll make sure someone picks you up.”
After we hang up, I see a few missed calls from a contact labeled “Mr. Darcy’s nurse.”
I dial it and am patched through to a nurses’ station here in this hospital, in the extended-care wing, and it occurs to me that Mr. Darcy must be the family friend that Lo visits at the hospital.
“Oh, I’m so glad you called,” the nurse replies when I tell her who I am and why I’m calling. “Lauren missed her standing appointment with Mr. Darcy this week, and he’s been worried sick.”
“Is there any way that someone can bring him to ICU so he can visit with her when she’s feeling better?”
“Of course. Just call us and we’ll bring him down to you.”
“Just gonna surround her by people she loves, aren’t you?” Cara asks, watching me carefully.
“She needs all the love she can get.” I don’t meet Cara’s eyes as I set Lo’s phone on the nearby table. “Will you please bring me some clothes? I’m going to take a shower here, shave, and change so I’m not such a mess when she wakes up.”
“Look at me,” Cara murmurs softly, and I raise my eyes to hers. “It’s okay to love her, Ty.”
“I do, with my whole heart.”
“None of this is your fault.”
“I wasn’t there,” I reply softly. “I should have been there, and instead I was home, not sleeping because we’d had an argument. I was lying in bed, overthinking a stupid disagreement while the woman I love was being brutalized. I may not be at fault for putting her here, but I am at fault for not keeping her safe. Just bring me the clothes, please.”
“Okay.” Cara nods and rises from her seat. “This conversation isn’t over. I’ll be back in a while.”
“Thank you.”
Cara leaves and I’m left with Lo. I caress her hand, as I’ve done for the past two days.
I was lying in the comfort of my bed while the woman I love was being brutalized. The enormity of the past few days, the lack of sleep, the fear and dread, all come crashing down on me.
I want Lo.
The tears come again, and I lean in and bury my face in her neck, careful not to jar her, but needing to feel the connection to her.
“Wake up, baby,” I cry. “I miss you so much. I need you to open those gorgeous blue eyes of yours so I can tell you how much I love you.”
I hear the door open, but I don’t look up as Josh takes the chair that Cara vacated not long ago.
Finally, when the sobs subside, I sit up and wipe my eyes, then glare at Josh. “If you say one word—”
“Hey”—he shakes his head slowly—“I would have broken long before this.”
I nod and firm my lower lip, pissed that it’s still quivering. Josh and I sit in silence until Cara returns with my clothing and some essentials.
“Will you two stay with her? I won’t be long.”
“Of course,” Cara assures me as Josh nods. I step out of Lo’s room for the first time in two days and walk down to the nurses’ station to ask for directions to a shower.
The hot water feels like heaven. I shave and dress quickly and shove the dirty clothes into the duffel bag Cara brought with her. I’ve been gone less than thirty minutes, but it feels too long. I need to get back to her.
When I return, Lo isn’t in the room. “Where is she?”
“They took her for more tests,” Josh responds. “They’ll be back in a few.”
“They took the ventilator out.” Cara grins. “She’s breathing fine on her own.”
“Did she wake up?” I ask anxiously.
“No,” Cara replies. “But hopefully she will this evening.”
I nod just as they wheel Lo back into the room. “How did it go?” I ask worriedly.
“The doctor will be in with the results in just a few minutes, but she seems to be doing really well. There are no breathing issues, and she’s reacting normally to stimuli, so that’s all really positive.”
Dr. Black bustles through the door with a smile on his face. “The swelling is going down further. We’re not quite out of the woods yet, but this is a great sign. Now we just need her to wake up.”
I sit back in my chair in relief, my body sagging as though the weight of the world has been lifted. “Thank you, Doc.”
“It’s all her, Ty. Your girl is strong. I hope you do actually ask her to marry you.”
I look up in surprise, and Dr. Black laughs. “She’s not wearing a ring, son. I wasn’t born yesterday. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”
He chuckles as he exits the room, leaving Cara, Josh, and I staring at each other. Finally, we all break out into laughter.
“You guys go ahead and go,” I suggest as I lean over and kiss Lo gently on her uninjured temple. “We’re good here.”
“Are you sure?” Cara asks.
“Yes. Go eat and get some rest. I’ll call if there are any changes.”
They both nod and kiss Lauren on the cheek before leaving the room. With her hand in mine, I lean in to talk to her, to hopefully ease her out of sleep.
“I’m so proud of you, sweetness. You’re doing great. Now just open those eyes for me and wake up.”
“Need water,” she croaks.
CHAPTER
Eighteen
“Baby?” I lean in close to her face, speaking softly. “Lauren, are you awake?”
She tries to move and scowls. “Fucking hurts.”
“I know. Don’t try to overdo it.” I reach over and press the red call button.
“Can I help you?” a faceless voice asks.
“Lauren is awake. We need the doctor, please.”
“Happened?” Lo opens one eye, trying to focus on me.
“I’ll tell you everything. Just relax for now and rest, beautiful. You’re in the hospital, but you’re going to be okay.” I kiss her forehead and gently caress the hair at her temple. “I’m so relieved to hear your voice.”
“That was quick,” Dr. Black murmurs as he bustles through the door with Dr. Shay on his heels. “Please stand back, Ty.”
The doctors take over, taking vitals, checking her pupils, asking her questions. A nurse stands at the end of the bed taking notes.
Finally, Dr. Black addresses me. “This is very encouraging, Ty.”
“How is she?”
“She’s going to be sore, and we’re going to keep her for a couple more days to watch that head injury, but I think she’s going to be just fine. We’ll do another CT scan tomorrow morning to monitor the fluid on her brain.” He grins down at Lauren and pats her hand. “You’re a very lucky woman, Lauren.”
“Don’t remember anything,” she whispers, and licks her lips.
“She asked for water,” I say.
“I’ll go get her some ice chips,” the nurse offers, and hustles out of the room.
“You’re going to be sleepy for the next day or two because we’re going to keep your pain meds up,” Dr. Shay informs Lauren. “You’re going to be very sore for a few days, so be careful when you try to move around.”
“Ty,” Dr. Black says, “why don’t you step out and make some calls while we remove her catheter and make her comfortable?”
“I don’t want to leave her.” I take her hand in mine.
“’S okay,” Lo whispers. “Call everyone. I’ll be here.”
I kiss her forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
I hurry out into the hall and call Jill, then Josh and Zack, informing them that Lo’s awake. By the time I’ve called Cary and Emily, I’m itching to get back into that room to her.
I have things to say before she falls back to sleep.
I knock and wait impatiently for the nurse to open the door for me. Dr. Black is helping Lo back into bed.
“Why is she up?” I rush to her side.
“Had to pee.” She winces as she eases back against the bed. “My ribs hurt like hell.”
“How is your head?” I ask softly.
“Sore. Did I get hit by a truck?”
“No.” I shake my head and press my lips to her forehead.
“Call if you need us. We’ll be in for the next round of meds in about an hour.”
The doctors leave and I drop into the chair beside Lo’s bed, watching her carefully. “God, baby, I’m so happy that you’re awake.”
“What happened? All I remember is e-mailing my editor, and then waking up here.”
“Maybe we should have this conversation after you’ve had time to recover a bit more.” I don’t want to upset her and make her hurt any worse than she already does.
“Just tell me.” She raises her hand to cup my face. I feel tears in my eyes as I turn my face and press a kiss to her palm.
“Jack came to your house two mornings ago.”
Her eyes register confusion as she watches me. “Two days?”
“You’ve been asleep for a few days, letting your body heal.” I kiss her hand again. “Jack hurt you, sweetness.”
She frowns and closes her eyes, then they open quickly, wide, and she stares at me in shock. “He destroyed my office.”
I nod, waiting as it all comes back to her.
“He hit me.” Her breath catches and she winces. “He was pissed because he found out about the books. How did he find out?”
“I don’t know. I suspect he was the one who had been in the house while you were gone.”
“He was going to kill me,” she whispers, and a tear falls as the events of that morning play through her head. “He was drunk, and he had a knife.”
I feel physically ill with the need to go after him and hurt him, but suddenly, she blanches and tries to sit up, reaching for the call button. “I need a nurse.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I need to ask them something.”
“Lauren, stop, you’re just going to hurt yourself.” I settle her against the bed and hold her shoulders in my hands, looking deep into her injured blue eyes. “What is it?”
“I should talk to a nurse,” she repeats in a whisper.
“You still don’t trust me?” I ask incredulously.
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