He wasn’t smiling, but his eyes were gentle. “I hope so.”
Even though it was cold, even though there was snow on the ground, Tiny walked right over and sat on the bottom step of his stoop. Then, just as if they did this all the time, she looked up at him with a bright smile. “Now, tell me everything. Tell me all about how you found her and convinced her to come home with you.”
Joel looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. But, still, he complied and went to sit by her side. “It all started when I decided to go for a walk and found the bookmobile.”
“You were looking for a book to read?”
“I was.” Looking irritated, he added, “I might not read as much as you do, but I do read, Tiny.”
“Of course. I’m sorry. That was rude. What happened next?”
Little by little, in halting phrases, he told his story. She listened and reflected and sometimes even forgot that she was cold. She thought about Yellow and how she’d overcome so many obstacles and didn’t give up hope. If a dog could do it, then she could, too.
All it was going to take was time and patience. Thank goodness, she had an abundance of both.
twenty-one
• RULE #21 •
Decorate for the holidays! Patrons like that and you will, too.
“You came back,” Sarah Anne said to Pete Canon when he stepped inside. “I wondered if you would.”
He looked surprised. “I told you I’d be back in a week. I even took a copy of the schedule.”
“That is true. I guess I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
He smiled. “No reason you should have believed me. We’re still practically strangers, aren’t we?”
Sarah Anne couldn’t disagree, but she was honest enough to hope they could be friends. “Maybe not strangers for long, though. So, how are you this week? Are you having a good one?”
“I’m good enough, and I guess my week is going well enough, too. What about you?”
“Fine. I’m good enough, too.” That phrase actually was a good summation of how her week had been. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened—good or bad. But she was hoping that might be about to change.
“Can I help you find something? Or, did you order a book online? If so, I can look…” She hadn’t thought he had ordered any books to be delivered, but one of the clerks had stocked the reserve cabinet that morning when Sarah Anne had been in a meeting.
“I didn’t order anything. I got online a couple of times, fully intending to order something, but it was difficult to make a decision.”
She nodded in agreement. “Yes, it is hard to choose a book just by reading a screen.”
“Exactly.” He grinned. But instead of turning to scan the area for books, he looked at her intently. “So, tell me something interesting that happened to you this week.”
He was her “something interesting,” but she wasn’t going to say that. “Unfortunately, there’s nothing worth mentioning.” She waved a hand in the air. “People come in, I help them as best I can, and then they go off on their way again.”
He smirked, which made a dimple appear in his cheek. “I don’t mean here, Sarah Anne. I meant in your life.”
Her life. Which meant she was supposed to have something meaningful outside of her career. Drawing a blank, she summoned the first thing she could think of. “I walked on the treadmill.”
He chuckled. “And was that a solitary event or a daily occurrence?”
She was so embarrassed. Who even cared about her exercise habits? She obviously didn’t. “Since it was noteworthy, I’m afraid it was a single event.” She blushed as she thought about all the parts of her body that could really do with more exercise.
Why hadn’t she mentioned something, anything else? “Obviously, it would be better if I made it part of my routine. What about you? Please tell me you lead a more exciting life.”
“I don’t know if it’s all that exciting, but I had a meeting in Chicago and just got back last night.”
“Oh? What do you do?”
“I’m in insurance.”
She was so surprised that she was pretty sure she gaped at him.
“Ah, do you have something against insurance agents?”
“Oh! No. No, of course not. I just didn’t peg you for an insurance type of guy.”
One of his eyebrows raised. “No?”
“Not at all. You look like you could be a logger or something.”
He laughed. “Don’t let the flannel shirts and boots fool you. Underneath this rugged exterior is a computer geek and champion number cruncher.”
“Since I’m a former accountant, I won’t make that mistake again.”
He laughed. “I’m just joking. I work with a lot of big outfits. Ranches, farms, lumber companies. I’m outside almost as much as I sit behind a desk.”
“That must be why you look so fit.” When he froze, she felt like pressing a hand over her mouth. Honestly, sometimes she thought she was developing her own unique brand of hoof-and-mouth disease, and it was very much a case of inserting her foot in her mouth. “Sorry. Um, sometimes I say things without thinking. I meant to say that you look like you do more than walk on the treadmill occasionally,” she said in a rush. “Now, please, look around.”
He didn’t move. “Hey—”
But whatever he was about to say was cut off because the door flew open, and Jack Coblentz and his little sister Becca blew in.
“Hiya, Miss Sarah Anne!” Becca called out.
“Hiya, Becky,” she replied, which, as always, drew a fresh round of giggles.
“It’s Becca.”
“Oh my stars. Indeed it is.” Turning to Pete, she tried to look remorseful. “I’m sorry. I better go help them.” She turned away in a hurry. Maybe by the time he was ready to check a book out, he would have forgotten all about her checking him out.
But even as she passed a stack of mysteries to Jack, read The Night Before Christmas to little Becca, and then pulled out another two novels for Tiny, Pete never strayed too far from her. Of course, there weren’t all that many places he could go. But still, it seemed that he was staying close by.
When the Coblentz kids walked out again with a new stack of books in Jack’s backpack, Pete turned to her. “I guess you know them well.”
“I do. The Coblentzes are a family of readers, for sure.”
“Is that little girl the man’s sister or daughter?”
“Sister. Becca’s three, and she has the whole family wrapped around her finger, I think.”
“She’s about the same age as my granddaughter, then. Do you have grandchildren?”
“No. I was never blessed in that way.”
“Oh? Children?”
“No. My husband and I didn’t have children.”
His eyes narrowed. “I didn’t see a ring.”
“That’s because I was widowed some time ago.” She figured it was no one’s business how long it actually took her to take off that gold ring—placing it in a drawer had felt like losing him all over again. “What about you? Did you marry?” Of course, she was also asking if he was still married.
“I did. Had two kids. After they went off to college, my wife decided her obligations were done and politely asked me if she could go on her way.”
“Beg your pardon?”
He grinned, the smile tight. “I had the same reaction, I’m afraid. The kids took it hard, too. We all liked how things were going.” He shrugged. “But then, the strangest thing happened. After about two years, I woke up one morning and realized I was happier than I’d been in a long time. Maybe even a decade. So maybe my ex was right and we had needed to break things off.”
“Oh.” She really had no words. What did one say to that, anyway? That she was happy for him?
He looked uncomfortable as well. “Anyway, that’s why I’m not wearing a ring, either. Like the books in here… we’ve all got our own stories.”
“I suppose so.” She racked her brain, hoping to quickly c
ome up with the right words so Pete would know she felt for him. But she drew a blank.
After a pause, Pete put down the book he’d been holding. “You know, I think I’ll be going on my way now. Glad to see you’re still doing okay.”
Before she could say another word, he walked out, leaving her alone with her questions and confusion. She picked up the book he’d left. Alive. An old book about a bunch of survivors in the Andes Mountains. She knew it well. By the time the last person was rescued, he was alive, but just barely. He was changed by his experiences and, yes, even stronger than he’d been before the tragedy had struck.
As the silence settled in around her, she realized she felt much the same way. Alive, but feeling a little battle-worn. Alive, but not completely happy.
Alive, but not completely whole.
She needed to work on that, and then she needed to work on how to patch things up with Mr. Pete Canon, if he ever returned.
twenty-two
• RULE #22 •
Make sure you have a good and detailed map of the area, one you can access without your phone or the Internet.
“How are you, Kayla?” Rose asked.
“I am fine. Danke.”
Rose lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Jah. Really.” Kayla kept her gaze fixed on Rose, all peaches-and-cream complexion and fake concern. At last, Rose looked away.
Kayla inwardly smiled. Yes, she’d sounded rather stiff and distant, but that couldn’t be helped. They were sitting next to each other on the bench in the middle of Sunday’s service at Rose’s parents’ house. That meant they were in a rather cramped space next to the metal wall of the building that Amos Byler had built for the express purpose of showing up everyone whenever they came visiting.
Well, that was what Kayla had always thought.
Maybe Rose had, too, since it was, after all, her parents’ farm they were sitting in. She’d since gotten married to Dennis and was now expecting their first boppli.
It wasn’t nice, but sometimes, when Kayla saw Rose—with her wealthy family, doting parents, attentive husband, and now a babe on the way—she practically seethed with jealousy. That emotion embarrassed her. She didn’t like being so petty. It wasn’t the type of person she wanted to be. But what could one do? She was only human, and a rather flawed one at that.
Rose looked tempted to comment on Kayla’s “fineness,” but held her tongue. Kayla surmised it was most likely more to do with the fact that Preacher James’s usually soothing voice had become suddenly booming as he shared his thoughts about the Pharisees than Rose having a desire to become sympathetic.
Kayla shifted on the bench and stared at the group of men sitting across from them. Memories came rushing back, memories of another time when she had sat on the top two rows and passed notes to her girlfriends when they weren’t supposed to. Back then, they used to all stare at the men across the way and dream of being able to claim one of them as their own. And, perhaps, she’d been the one who had looked a bit smug.
It had all been for show, though. Though she’d always been so pleased and proud to have Levi, there had also been the constant mixture of grief for her mother and worry about her daed.
Yes, Levi had been an answer to her prayers. Nee, she’d thought he was an answer to her prayers. But, of course, she soon learned prayers had very little to do with the true state of their relationship.
“I heard your father is in Pinecraft again.”
“He is.”
Rose leaned closer. “And that you are home alone.”
“I am,” she whispered back.
“I suppose that can have its advantages.” Rose smiled softly. “Ain’t so?”
Even though Preacher James continued and two ladies nearby gave them dark stares, Kayla couldn’t resist responding. “I don’t understand what you are talking about.”
“Oh, come now. Many people saw you. At least that’s what I heard.”
“Saw me do what?” She really was mystified now.
“Invite Aaron Coblentz into your home in the evening for hours.”
And, yes, she’d emphasized hours like that meant something, well, slimy. It set her back on edge and made her temper rise, too. “There was nothing wrong about what we did.”
“Are you sure? Two unmarried folks in the house together?”
“I know what we are, Rose.”
“Ahem.” Preacher James cleared his throat.
She realized then that nearly half the folks in that metal barn were staring at her in shock. Somehow, she managed to procure both a cold sweat and heated cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to the women who were looking at her with disapproval.
Beside her, Rose folded her arms over her chest, almost as if she were attempting to protect herself from Kayla’s troubling influence.
Her stomach churned. She looked around the room, trying to find anything, anything that would take her mind off both the fool she’d just made of herself and the memory of Aaron’s visit to her home. But all she found was Aaron himself, staring directly at her.
She knew everyone would be watching her. She knew she should look away. But his hazel eyes, his blond hair, his intense, serious expression… all of it was practically a siren’s call to her. A pull so strong that she could no longer look away from him, as if she’d been physically tethered to him.
So, she had a choice. She could either concentrate on Rose’s insinuations and the interested, nosy eyes surrounding her, or she could pay attention to the one thing that seemed to give her a small measure of comfort.
Suddenly she realized there was no choice. She was tired of worrying about so many things that gave her no happiness. It was time to do something else. Time to give in to what she wanted, even if it was just to share a knowing glance with someone sitting on the other side of a room.
* * *
Three hours later, against her better instincts, Kayla had agreed to help take some quilts to a community room that some of the New Order Amish members used. Often, several religious groups in the area would band together to hold an auction or a mud sale. Helping to carry quilts on a sunny winter day hadn’t been a problem. Neither had visiting the community center. She had several friends who were New Order.
No, the problem had been the women she was going to be forced to be around for a little while longer. Both Ellen and Frances were older, respected, and seemed to have no problem spouting their opinions about anything and everything. That meant, of course, they would have no problem speaking their mind to her.
At first, they’d only chatted about the weather and how nice it was to see the sun even though the temperature was in the thirties. But then, just after they’d deposited the quilts inside the building, they began their barrage.
“Kayla, you must be more circumspect,” one chided. “You were causing a scene today.”
“I wasna the only person whispering during Preacher James’s sermon.”
“You were the loudest.”
“I was not much louder than Rose.” Why couldn’t she simply just be quiet? The woman was intent on tearing her down, but Kayla personally had no desire to be pushed around anymore. Why should it matter to her what Kayla did?
“Unfortunately, we’re not referring just to today’s behavior in church, Kayla. There are rumors that you’ve been spending a lot of time with men without the benefit of a chaperone.”
Oh, that Mrs. Hershberger. She must have told all of Berlin about Aaron’s visit to her house. “I haven’t done one thing to be ashamed about.”
Ellen clicked her tongue on the top of her mouth. “You know, dear, I’m sure you miss your mother. You must think of what she would want.”
No. No, she wasn’t going to do this again. “My mother passed on to Heaven three years ago.”
“She’s still watching you, though,” Frances said.
“I reckon she is. But I don’t choose to worry about what she thinks.”
“That’s what we’re talking about, child. Y
ou should. You want her to be proud of you, jah?”
“What makes you think she isn’t proud of me?”
Ellen blinked. “Now, you know what I mean.” She glanced at the other woman. “We’re only speaking to you out of concern.”
Perhaps her mother was the voice in her ear, warning her to simply smile. Perhaps it was her conscience. Either way, she was ignoring it. “I still don’t understand to what you are referring. And why are you not asking me about my father?”
“Pardon?”
“My daed is alive and well. However, it doesn’t seem like you are concerned about me disappointing him. Why is that?”
As she’d hoped, they gaped at her.
As she feared, she felt good about that.
Just as she was wondering what to do next, she spied Aaron walking toward her. “Kayla, it is you,” Aaron said as he approached. “What a nice surprise.”
Though she was aware of the two ladies listening to every word, she beamed at him. “We were just delivering quilts.”
“Are you free now?”
“I am.”
“Gut.” Smiling at the two women, he said, “I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I don’t think I can let this opportunity slip away.” Holding out his elbow, he smiled. “Ready?”
“Beyond ready,” she said as she took his arm. “Good day, Ellen and Frances.”
“Good day, Kayla,” Frances replied. Ellen said nothing. No doubt she was glaring at Kayla’s back. But she didn’t care one bit. Aaron had rescued her, and she was now holding on to his arm like they were a true courting couple. Right now, at this moment, nothing else mattered.
* * *
By now, Kayla thought she knew Aaron Coblentz fairly well. She knew his goals, she knew what came easy for him and what didn’t. She knew he favored sandwiches and didn’t like peanut butter or ice cream. She knew he was a little shy and didn’t like to spout off about things unless he’d thought of the consequences.
Actually, Kayla thought there was little Aaron could do that would surprise her.
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