I’ve said goodbye to my home, Baldachin. Goodbye to my parents. Goodbye to Miss Lilith, my teacher, my friends. All acted as if it wasn’t a permanent thing, like I’d be strolling back home in a few months’ time, safe and sound. I did, too. I guess it hadn’t hit me, what this journey means.
Until now.
I know I’ll never see any of these people or places again. Once I finally get out of the kingdom, beyond the wrath of King Araroa and onto safe shores, I’ll never be able to come back. I’ll be starting over, starting a new life from scratch. I’ll even be saying goodbye to Tui, eventually. I picture him strolling back to Baldachin with the good news that I’ve made it across the sea. It’s the best I can hope for.
“Raven?” Leif is speaking from somewhere far away. “What do you think?”
I’m jolted back to the present. “Sorry, what were you asking?”
“Mr. Benford thinks the Finneys would be interested in buying the horses,” says Tui. “That is, if we’re able to go over the pass before winter. Otherwise …” He pauses, considering his next words. “Otherwise we may just have to backtrack and cross via the main route.”
We all know this would be even more dangerous than attempting a winter crossing of Zenith pass. At this point we have no idea of where the Hunters may be. It would be all too easy to fall into a trap. We simply must get over the pass and onto the next town, where Leif thinks we can get some information on where the Hunters are looking, so we can bypass them and get on to the Bastion.
I sit up straight, trying to look composed. “We’ll just have to wait for Billy. See what choices we have.”
We depart from the Benfords’ home. Leif excuses himself, saying he has a quick errand to run. Tui and I continue on back to the house where Mrs. Mulberry is probably loading the table with lunch.
Neither of us says anything as we walk. I can sense Tui has something on his mind, but I just wait.
Finally he breaks the silence. “Leif sure seems fond of you.”
I shrug. “Yes, he seems to be. I do appreciate all his help. I feel like we’re safe here. If it hadn’t been for him, we’d never have found Sagegate.”
Tui looks down at me, one eyebrow raised. “You know that’s not what I’m talking about, Raven.”
I look down, watching our feet on the packed dirt road. “I know. I hope he doesn’t get his hopes up. It’ll be a shame when he’s disappointed one day.”
Tui stops walking and turns to look right at me. “What do you mean?”
“He seems to think I’m going to be a Woman King one day. Or something like that. He’s got some pretty fancy ideas. Like I said, I hate to disappoint him, but, well, it’s not like that. At all. I’m just trying to get out of Nadir, as far from King Araroa as I can be.”
Tui’s trying to suppress a smile, but his eyes are twinkling. “I suppose time will tell on that. But that’s still not what I mean.”
I can feel my cheeks heating up. “What are you talking about then?”
Tui smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder. “The way he looks at you. The way his face lights up when he sees you enter a room. I think he’s sweet on you.”
Of course, Tui is right, but there’s no way I’m going to admit it. “That’s absurd.”
“Why?”
“It just is. Besides, I can’t worry about that right now. I’ve got too much else going on.”
“You’re sure right about that.”
“I still think he’s just trying to help.”
“Maybe so. Be sure to let him down gently.”
“Ha ha.” I look straight ahead, continuing my march down the road. “I was going to ask you something. But never mind now.”
Tui stops. I pause a few paces ahead and glance back at him. He’s got his hands on his hips. Head tilted. His dark eyes are boring right into me. I slowly turn around and walk back to him.
His mouth curves into a half smile. “What is it, Raven?”
“I was wondering … I wanted to see if you … I mean …” I can’t believe I’m stumbling on my words. It’s a simple request. Sort of. I’ve got to do it now, before Leif—
“Spit it out.” He’s still smiling.
I take a deep breath and exhale. “I want you to go with me. To Nuimana. I know it’s a huge thing to ask. I know you want to go back to Baldachin as much as I do. And you don’t have to, but I’d love to have you along … the whole way.”
Tui doesn’t even hesitate. “Of course I’ll go with you. I couldn’t stomach watching you sail off. I’m glad you asked.” He wraps his arm around me and we start walking again. I lean my head against his shoulder.
I feel about a hundred pounds lighter knowing I won’t have to say goodbye to my friend. Not this one, anyway.
While we wait for Billy, we keep ourselves busy preparing for the crossing. I have to assume we’re going to undertake it—the alternative is so undesirable I don’t even want to consider it. We’ve found a buyer for all three of the horses, purchased warm clothing, and have begun putting aside provisions.
I’ve been spending as much time as I can with Pearl. I brush her daily, until her silver coat gleams brighter than ever. We have soft conversations while I ride her, alone, in the hills around Sagegate. I tell her how thankful I am for all she’s done for me, for how far she’s carried me. I know she’s listening.
It’s been nearly two weeks since we visited the Benfords. Pearl and I have just gotten back from a ride and I’m brushing her in the barn. I’m going to miss all her horse smells: her musky scent, her soft, hay-scented breath. I’m inhaling deeply when I hear footsteps approaching the door of her stall. It must be Tui, checking in on us. He’s been spending many hours with Pango, too.
“I’m not looking forward to saying goodbye to P—” I start to say as I turn around. But it’s not Tui standing there. It’s Jude.
My heart leaps into my throat. “Can … can I help you?” I croak.
He’s standing with his arms crossed over his chest, eyes steely. Half his mouth is turned up. It’s not a smile, though. It’s a sneer.
“Yes, I think you can,” he says. “You can leave Sagegate immediately. We don’t want any trouble here.”
I don’t flinch. “I’d like nothing more than to do just that. But we’re waiting for Benford Jr., so he can help us across the pass. I think you know that.”
His face is hard. “Yes, I do. Billy won’t help you, though. He’s not going to want trouble, either. Besides, he never crosses this late in the year.”
My heart is pounding even faster, blood rushing through my ears. I will my voice to remain steady. “I’m not sure what kind of trouble you mean.” I hope he doesn’t see through my blunt lie.
Jude uncrosses his arms, resting one on the stall gate. He leans in. “You know exactly what I mean. I know you are running. I know Araroa wants you captured. I was in Dunfall, on the main road, the week before you and your crew arrived here. The place was crawling with the King’s Hunters. They were trying to be secretive about their mission, but after a few ales at the pub—well, they were more than willing to tell all.”
I pray that my face doesn’t betray my growing panic. “And why do you believe I have something to do with these … these rumors?”
“You look just like her.”
“Who?”
“Your mother.”
“I don’t know what you mean. I look nothing like the Queen.” Oh god. He hadn’t mentioned the Queen at all. I’ve just completely given myself away. But somehow he doesn’t seem to notice this. Or if he does, he doesn’t let on.
“Raven, you’re not fooling me. You’re the spitting image of Her Majesty Queen Araroa.”
“Thank you for the compliment. She’s quite beautiful; I’ve seen pictures of her. But she’s not my mother.”
Jude doesn’t believe me, I’m sure of it. But I figure fully denying his accusation is the best way out of this.
Strangely, his sneer transforms into an authentic smile. A very small one
.
“Be that as it may, you and your friends need to move along as quickly as you can. Like I said, we don’t need any trouble here in Sagegate.”
“Mr. Mulberry, we’d like nothing more. We have family waiting at the Bastion, anxious to see us. And we certainly don’t wish to create problems for you and the other Sagegate residents. You’ve all been very kind to us. We appreciate your family’s graciousness in particular.”
I think I detect a slight sheepishness cross his face.
“Don’t let our generosity fool you. You’d best be off. And soon.” Jude tips his hat, then turns and walks away.
I can’t move. I watch like a statue as he makes his way back to his horse tied up nearby. My heart finally starts to calm as he rides off in the direction of his family’s cabin.
Sagegate is no longer the utopia it has been. Any one of the residents here could get word to the Hunters that a raven-haired girl is traveling with unknown companions to the Bastion. This late in the season we are even more suspect. At least Jude hadn’t known about our arrival here when he was in Dunfall, but there's no telling who he’s been talking to since.
One thing is clear: we are no longer safe here. We must go now, guide or no guide.
Late that night in the barn I tell Tui, Leif, and Catriona what happened.
Tui is furious. “How dare he threaten you like that. I’ve got a mind to give him a piece of—”
“Hold on, Tui,” I say. “I’ve been thinking all day about it. I’m grateful he said something, even if it was, well, quite insulting. If he hadn’t …” The thought of Jude taking action instead of simply warning me overwhelms my ability to speak.
“If he hadn’t,” Leif says, “we wouldn’t know that word has gotten as far as Sagegate. I’m sorry for thinking we’d be safe here.” He looks crushed.
I put my hand on his arm. He’s sitting next to me on my cot, while Catriona and Tui sit across from us on Leif’s bed. We’ve only lit a single lamp, placed on the floor between us so the light doesn’t shine out of the barn windows. “Don’t worry, Leif. We’ve been safe here, but it’s time to go.”
“You don’t mean we should start over the pass without Billy, do you?” Catriona asks.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a piece of paper, unfolding it and laying it down so everyone can see. “Look, I went over to the Benfords this afternoon and had the old man draw this map.”
Everyone leans in to look at the diagram of the pass, which shows distances, dangers, and places to camp—caves and such. He’s even roughed out the final leg to the Bastion, although he apologized for the lack of detail of this area, saying he’s rarely traveled that far.
“We have this,” I say. “We’ve got our warm gear ready and we’ve been packing food away. And besides, we’re bound to run into Billy along the way. He might be willing to turn around and guide us the rest of the way across.”
They are silent for a few minutes, considering my plan.
“I don’t know about this, Raven,” Catriona says. “I think it’s too dangerous to try it on our own. I know of this pass—many have tried to cross it without success. And I don’t mean they’ve simply turned back. People have left to cross it and haven’t been seen since. In the summer, too. Maybe we should backtrack, cross over the main pass. We could disguise ourselves … or something. There’s got to be a way to evade Hunters out that way.”
I consider this. But I know that to go the other way would mean certain capture. Based on what Jude said, it’s not just Hunters we need to be worried about. Word has gotten out and anyone could be looking for me. I remember the WANTED FOR TREASON notice, still folded away in my jacket pocket. I shudder.
I look at each of my three friends. “No. We’ve got to attempt this pass. I know it’s going to be difficult, but we’d be easily trapped on the main route.”
Catriona starts pacing back and forth. We all wait for her response. She stops in front of us, hands on her hips. “You’re being foolish. Do you know what it means if we fail? We’ll freeze to death, that’s what. You heard the Benfords—it’s an extremely difficult crossing at any time of year—and this late in the season? Without a guide? Foolishness!” She walks off to the far end of the loft where she pauses, facing the window.
Leif stands up. “You are out of line, ma’am.” His voice is stern. Commanding. “It’s Raven’s call. She’s the one with the most at stake here.”
Catriona walks back over to us briskly. She stops and glares. Tui is still looking down at the map, keeping out of our confrontation.
“The most at stake? Do you mean to say our lives have less value than hers? Because if that’s what you’re saying …” Catriona’s words trail off.
“That’s not what he means,” I say.
“What does he mean then?”
“What I mean,” Leif interjects, “is that she holds our lives in the palm of her hand. Many more lives than just ours, in fact. She needs us to help her get to safety, and we need her for the future of our kingdom. For a better—”
“Oh Leif, I don’t know about—”
“For a better future,” he continues, ignoring my interruption. “Furthermore, when you agreed to help, you must have known Raven would have the final word, and you need to respect that.”
“No,” Catriona says, “I knew nothing of the sort. I was told I was helping these two get to the Bastion, an easy journey I’ve completed a dozen times. They said there’d be danger, but not of this sort—this is completely different. They didn’t fill me in until after I’d agreed to come.”
“It’s true,” I admit. “We weren’t entirely honest with her. And I truly regret that.” I look up into Catriona’s eyes. “We should have told you the whole truth at the outset, so you could have made a fully informed decision. I’m sorry about that.”
Catriona says nothing. She continues to stand looking at me with … scorn? Disappointment? Whatever it is, I know there is only one thing to say.
“You don’t need to continue on with us, if you don’t wish to. You have every right to return to Baldachin. It was never my intention to put your life in danger; I had no idea it would come to this. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you. I appreciate all you’ve done to help me this far.”
Catriona sighs and sits back down next to Tui. “On the other hand, I suppose neither of you knew what you were getting into, either. I’m going to sleep on it. I’ll give you my answer in the morning.”
I nod at her and smile. “I look forward to it.”
Tui looks up from his intent study of the map. “Raven’s right. This crossing is going to be treacherous, but there will be no danger of Hunters. And this town”—he points at a mark on the map that indicates the village of Pinehaven on the other side of the mountain—“would be unlikely to be visited by Hunters. It sounds like they’re patrolling the main routes only.”
I’m not sure if he’s completely ignoring Catriona’s protestations, or truly didn’t hear her.
Leif nods. “I agree. Besides, the Hunters are lazy sots. They’re not going to go out of their way to check towns and villages that are difficult to get to.”
I look down at the diagram. Pinehaven is remote, but we’ll be traveling blind once we reach it. Not even Catriona’s map has detail that far off the beaten track. Plus we’ll be traveling on foot. But it’s the only way out.
“We’ll leave the day after tomorrow then. That will give us the chance to gather our final provisions and get the horses to their new owner,” I say. I take my knife out of its sheath and place it in its usual spot under my pillow.
The others take that as a cue to head to their own cots. After tomorrow, our nights won’t be anywhere near as comfortable.
I lie in the darkness, trying desperately to fall asleep. I can’t stop thinking about what Catriona said. She’s right about me misleading her at the start. But we had no idea what we were up against when we first asked her to accompany us. Still, I shoul
d have been more honest. I hope she decides to continue on. We need her skills to cross this pass without a guide. We could not have gotten this far without her.
There’s something I realize I need to say to Leif. “Leif? Are you still awake?”
“I am.”
“There’s something I wanted to tell you too.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“I don’t want you to feel obliged to continue on either. If you don’t wish to put yourself into such danger, please don’t feel like you need to. You’re free to go back the way you came. It will surely be safer for you.”
“Raven—”
“Yes?”
“I wouldn’t dream of not continuing on with you.”
I can’t see his face, but I can tell he’s grinning.
“Good,” I say, smiling too.
I wake just before dawn and get up immediately—we have a lot to do today. My movements wake Tui and Leif, and the three of us notice at once that Catriona’s bed is empty.
It’s then that I realize the barn has a sort of emptiness about it. We’d normally hear the horses snuffling around in the morning, but that sound is missing. I pull on my boots and practically jump down the ladder.
The horses aren’t in their stalls.
I pull open the barn door and look around.
Catriona and the three horses are gone.
Chapter 12
Tui and Leif join me in the barn doorway. We stare out at the empty landscape.
“I guess Catriona’s not coming with us after all,” Tui says, breaking our stunned silence.
I sigh. “Looks that way.”
Where could she be heading with three horses in tow? There’s only one direction she could have taken—toward the main road. Where she’s sure to encounter legions of Hunters. I can only hope her intentions are good, but I truly have no idea. I feel like I don’t know her at all.
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