by Jade Winters
‘I’m glad it was me,’ Carissa said.
‘So am I.’
‘Maybe this is our destiny,’ Carissa blurted out without thinking.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Nothing,’ Carissa said quickly. ‘Never mind.’
‘No, tell me,’ Teal insisted. ‘We agreed on honesty remember? You don’t have to be scared to say anything to me.’
Carissa took a deep breath. ‘Well, it just seems to me that you don’t like talking about anything too personal, too intimate. But with me, you seem to be able to open up.’
‘You’re right.’ Teal kept her burning gaze on Carissa. ‘It’s funny isn’t it.’
‘What is?’
‘That we only met a couple of weeks ago,’ she continued. ‘And yet, you seem to know me already.’
‘Not all of you.’ Not yet anyway.
Teal smiled. ‘I think that’s a good thing.’
Teal leant in and pulled Carissa to her, kissing her soft and slow at first, then more urgently.
‘What are you doing?’ Carissa asked breathlessly, as Teal started to unbutton her shirt.
‘I did say I wanted to ravish you outdoors, didn’t I?’
‘You were being serious?’
Teal laughed softly. ‘Apparently I was.’
She pushed Carissa down against the soft grass. Her fingers drifted along Carissa’s stomach. Her mouth on her lips. Teal’s tongue probed until they parted. Carissa welcomed her, wanting to taste every bit of Teal.
Teal’s fingers left a trail of sparks behind as she slid her hand over the curve of Carissa’s breast and the outline of her ribcage. Then slowly, ever so slowly, she unbuttoned Carissa’s jeans and slid her hand between her thighs, finding her centre. From Teal’s sudden gasp, Carissa could tell she was excited to feel how warm Carissa was. How wet. Teal stroked her there, teasing her clit with a circular motion until Carissa’s legs trembled. Teal’s fingers slid easily inside her, enclosed by her liquid fire. Teal thrust, fast and hard, then slowly and gently.
Carissa’s restless hands scrunched Teal’s hair, clawed at her back and caressed her breasts. She pulled Teal’s head down harder against her, crushing their mouths together.
If Carissa had been worried about being seen earlier, this was no longer the case as the spasms began to course through her body and she could no longer control herself. She cried out in the wilderness, yearning for release. Only when she called out Teal’s name, begging and pleading, did Teal grant it.
‘Oh fuck,’ Carissa groaned as orgasm after orgasm washed over her. The eruption spread throughout her body. Breathing hard she let out a short laugh. ‘I thought that was going to kill me.’
Teal gave her a slow grin as she nestled beside her. ‘Not yet. I’ve still got a few more things to tick off my bucket list before I let you go.’
‘Is settling down here one of them?’ Carissa asked turning on her side to study Teal’s face. Her mind lost in a world of euphoria.
Teal didn’t answer immediately. Carissa could sense little flickering thoughts pass through Teal’s mind.
‘I doubt it,’ she said simply.
‘Why not?’ Carissa asked, sensing the sudden change in Teal’s mood. The spell was broken.
‘Until I sort my head out, I don’t think I’ll ever settle down anywhere,’ was all Teal said.
Chapter Sixteen
With each passing day, the black cloud that was normally present in each waking moment seemed to subside. Teal was starting to feel alive again. Waking up each morning with a purpose for once, instead of dread. And for this, there was only one person responsible—Carissa.
Ever since the day they had visited Arlington Row and she had opened her heart to Carissa, the pangs of guilt which had plagued her had morphed into a deep sadness instead. They had discussed the incident from every angle, and considered every reason why Teal shouldn’t blame herself, and it had worked. She was finally releasing the ball and chain that had been holding her back from letting go of the past.
Now when Teal thought of the dreadful night Alana was killed, she saw it for what it was; a terrible, unfortunate accident. Something that couldn’t have been prevented, no matter how much she tried to convince herself that she could have done something differently.
If Teal had gone, would she have walked the same route as Alana? It was something she would never know. As Carissa had rightly pointed out to her, their destinies were on different paths. And it was with this in mind, that Teal gradually realised denying herself happiness as a punishment wasn’t necessary.
This saddened her somewhat. That now her circumstances had changed and she was more inclined to alter the terms of the arrangement she had made with Carissa, it might be too late. From the looks of things, Carissa was more than happy with the status quo. Not that Teal blamed her. Carissa’s last relationship didn’t exactly sound like a bundle of laughs and Teal could see why she wouldn’t want to get involved in another so soon. Or ever. No, things would just carry on as they were and in a few weeks’ time their ‘thing’ would sadly come to a natural end. Until then, Teal remained committed to getting the most out of what was left and hopefully she would continue on the path to happiness, even if she remained single.
Teal stood by the window in the living room, watching a sparrow outside pecking at the bread she had thrown out earlier. Seconds later, Carissa was walking towards her with two steaming cups of coffee. Just what she needed. She had been up since Nicole’s crew arrived at 7.00am. They had been banging and hammering upstairs all morning. The days seemed to be flying by and the downstairs was all but finished.
Teal reached out and took the cup from Carissa, their fingers touched and they both smiled. That private smile between lovers.
‘Guess what?’ Carissa said taking a quick sip of her coffee.
Teal pursed her lips together. ‘Give me a clue. Is it about the house?’
‘Nope. My mum texted me.’
‘And?’
‘And she said she has a surprise for me.’
‘Oh wow. Do you think it’s about the money?’
‘I don’t want to get my hopes up too high. Not yet anyway.’
Teal bit the inside of her cheek. Although they were sleeping together, she didn’t feel as if she had the right to question Carissa’s judgement but, and it was a big but, she felt as if Carissa was running into this deal without giving it enough thought. Yes, it was a great opportunity to make some quick money but as the saying went—if something is too good to be true, it probably is. The last thing Teal wanted was to pull the rug from beneath Carissa’s feet, but she would regret it if she didn’t at least encourage her to investigate it further.
‘I was thinking ….’ Teal started slowly. Weighing her words carefully.
‘Mmm?’ Carissa was busy adjusting a picture frame on the wall.
‘About this property deal.’
‘Uh huh.’ Carissa appraised the picture again. Happy with it, she turned to Teal.
‘If she does give you the money, maybe you should get an independent solicitor to take a look over the paperwork Nicole gave you.’
‘What for? The solicitor Nicole recommended is fine. The deal is written in black and white. And the mortgage broker was great. He said I’d get a mortgage easily.’
Teal blinked rapidly and rubbed the sides of her temples with her fingertips. ‘I’m just saying—’
‘I know you’re looking out for me, Teal, and I appreciate it. Really I do. But I think this is a good deal. I mean, you’ve only got to look at this place to see how good Nicole and her team are.’
‘Okay. I won’t bring it up again.’
‘So, I was thinking it would be best to bring the beds and furniture down here now Nicole’s started upstairs.’
‘No problem. If upstairs looks anything like it does down here it’s going to be amazing. I cannot believe the size of this room,’ Teal said looking around the newly improved open plan living room. She glanced over
at Carissa who had a huge grin on her face.
‘I told you it would make more sense. Unless you need a room to dump crap in, I don’t see the point of keeping small rooms,’ Carissa said. ‘The wallpaper for upstairs is being delivered today. It’s going to be perfect for the main bedroom.’
Teal could see Carissa’s mind ticking over. Her vision for the house was coming to life and even Teal was starting to get excited by it. Or perhaps she was just excited by Carissa.
‘Well it looks like you’ve got a busy day a head. I think I’ll go and chill out at the pub for a bit. All that banging is giving me a headache.’
‘Are you going to sketch?’
‘I might do.’
‘And if you do, will you let me see?’ Carissa said.
‘Maybe,’ Teal teased as she picked up her satchel from the floor. She kissed Carissa on her lips before leaving the room.
Just thinking of drawing invoked the familiar twitch in Teal’s fingers. It was a feeling she hadn’t experienced since the night of their first kiss. At the same time, Teal identified a burgeoning fear in the pit of her stomach. Now that she felt mentally ready, and the daunting task of actually drawing was staring her in the face, she couldn’t help but wonder if her work would be up to its usual standard. She had known many artists who had lost their touch for whatever reason. Although Teal had a vision of what she wanted to draw, could she actually infuse it with the life it needed? Could she do what she had been able to do a few months ago, when she was a fearless artist?
Teal could sense that her short-term writing career was coming to a close, at least as far as Barb was concerned. She still hadn’t received a reply from her since she’d sent in the second draft of the article she had written, and that was nearly two weeks ago. Barb hadn’t even acknowledged she’d received it.
Teal took out her mobile and scrolled through her emails. There were no new messages. Her inbox once filled with invitations to parties and gallery openings, was pathetically empty. She found Barb’s number and hit call. When Teal was put through to her, she was a little apprehensive.
‘Barb?’
‘Speaking.’
‘It’s Teal.’
‘Oh … Teal.’
That reaction wasn’t positive but it was no less than Teal had expected. ‘I didn’t hear back from you about the re-worked article I sent in.’
‘Ah … yes,’ Barb said hesitantly. ‘I meant to send you an email about that.’
‘What is it?’
‘We’re not running it,’ Barb replied matter-of-factly, offering no explanation or apology.
‘Why not?’ Teal said, knowing how lame she sounded. ‘I don’t understand. I made all the changes you asked for.’
‘Yes, you did.’ Barb broke away for a moment to speak to someone and then returned a few seconds later. ‘You did make the changes, but unfortunately it wasn’t enough.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘The writing was … flat.’
Just like that, straight to the point. No beating around the bush.
‘Flat?’ Teal repeated, trying to bide her time so she could process what Barb had said.
‘Remember the last article you wrote?’
‘Yes.’
‘That was a great piece of writing,’ Barb said, the undercurrent of disappointment unmistakable. ‘It was light, upbeat and cheeky. Most importantly it was interesting. It was fucking interesting, Teal. Do you see?’
‘Yeah, I see,’ Teal said, trying not to be insulted by Barb’s assassination of her writing skills. ‘You’re trying to pander to the masses as opposed to educating them.’
There was a split second of silence on the other line. ‘We’re not an uptight news agency,’ Barb said, in a tone that was a little less warm. ‘Our job is not to educate the masses with boring articles about events from around the globe. They can watch the BBC for that.’
A blistering retort was on the tip of Teal’s tongue but she held back. What was the point? She hadn’t studied journalism to write titillating articles. The one she had produced for Barb had been at a time when everything in her life was one big game. When she didn’t know any better. It was only now that she wanted to make a mark on the world with something more memorable. And it wasn’t like she needed the money.
‘Point taken,’ Teal said. ‘Take—’
But Barb had already hung up. Teal stared down at her phone. She was stunned, yet on the other hand, she felt a sense of relief. Her heart hadn’t been in the article, so Barb’s reaction was to have been expected but it still rankled her.
Teal had just arrived at the entrance to the pub ready to drown her woes in a glass of wine when a distinctly feminine voice called out.
‘Teal!’
A tall figure approached from across the road. Teal held her hand up to her eyes, shielding them from the glaring sun.
‘Oh God,’ Teal whispered under her breath as the person came into full view. ‘What the hell is she doing here?’
‘Surprise. I bet you weren’t expecting me.’
‘How the fuck did you find me, Channing?’
Chapter Seventeen
It was the top floor of the house that now resembled a building site. Downstairs, the walls had been painted, the floorboards sanded and the windows replaced. All that remained to complete the rooms was the furniture being delivered from John Lewis. The rugs, cushions and pictures were still in their wrappers and would not be used until the building work was finished. Even though Teal had left earlier wanting to escape the noise, Carissa revelled in it. All of it. The dust. The smell. The banging. Even the sound of the lorry’s engine that had come to collect the rubble. She took a moment to admire the open space between the rooms before she made her way downstairs, with every intention of tidying the living room which was now full of the bedroom furniture.
Carissa didn’t know what time Teal would be home but she intended to make the living room presentable so they could have a comfortable sleeping area. She couldn’t wait to be in Teal’s arms again. As she reached the bottom step, she paused for a moment.
Carissa couldn’t be certain but she heard a voice that sounded familiar. Too familiar. She momentarily held her breath. The male voice, who she recognised as Jim, one of the builders, said her name in answer to the female’s question. It was then she put the name to the voice. No, it can’t be!
Her pulse quickened. This is what it must feel like before having a heart attack. Standing there, Carissa was torn between opening the door or high tailing it out the back door and jumping on the first train to London.
‘Carissa, Carissa,’ her name was repeatedly called by Jim.
What shall I do? Oh God, how did she find me?
‘Carissa?’
If there was ever a time when Carissa wished her name was something different, it was now. The voracious curiosity about what Lara could want got the better of her. Inhaling deeply, she pulled open the door, stepped over the threshold and turned right. Ahead was Jim and the woman she thought she would never lay eyes on again—Lara.
There she was in all her glory. Lean, toned and tanned. The first three buttons of her white shirt undone to reveal her cleavage. As always, Lara looked drop dead gorgeous. Even Jim had trouble taking his eyes off her.
‘Ah there she is,’ Lara said when she caught sight of Carissa hovering in the background.
‘Thanks, Jim.’ Carissa gave him a weak smile. ‘I’ve got this.’
Almost reluctantly, Jim backed away, his eyes still glued on Lara until he reached the hallway, he then brushed past Carissa and scrambled upstairs.
‘Is that it?’ Lara said when Carissa came to a stop a few feet away from her and barely acknowledged her. She smiled playfully as she extended her arms for a giant hug.
Carissa ignored her gesture. ‘What do you want, Lara?’
‘What kind of question is that?’ Lara asked rolling her eyes.
Carissa looked down and, for the first time, noticed Lara’s suitcase b
y her side.
‘You don’t think you’re staying here, do you?’ she said, her disquiet turning to irritation.
‘Well of course I do,’ Lara scoffed. ‘Where else am I supposed to go?’
‘I don’t give a rat’s arse. You are not staying here.’
Carissa gripped the door by its edge with the full intention of slamming it shut, when Lara pressed her hand against the door.
‘What are you doing?’ Carissa said.
Her tone was cool. ‘I came here straight from your mum’s place.’
Carissa blinked rapidly. Was Lara being here a good sign? Had her mum sent her down with the money?
‘Your mum said she’s not giving you the loan,’ Lara said. ‘She said if you want to buy a property you’re going to have to do it through your own sweat and tears.’
Carissa was barely listening. All she knew was that her dream of making some money to get on the property ladder had been dashed. Not only by her mum, but to have Lara deliver the news made it ten times worse.
‘I don’t believe it,’ Carissa said, voicing her thoughts out loud.
‘She’s right. She’s actually doing you a favour. You’ll have more self-respect if you do it on your own.’
Did I just hear right? Lara’s actually talking about respect. If the news hadn’t made her feel so depressed she would have actually laughed. Right in Lara’s smug looking face. ‘And why couldn’t she just have told me this over the phone? Was it really necessary to send you?’
Lara rolled her eyes dramatically. ‘Because she knew you’d want to see me obviously.’
‘Have you lost your mind?’
‘I haven’t come all this way to be insulted.’ Lara smoothed down her hair. ‘Look, are you going to let me in? I’m knackered.’
‘What? No, of course I’m not,’ Carissa snapped impatiently as her mind raced. What should she do? Minutes earlier all she had to worry about was making sure the wallpaper she had chosen for the bedroom was the right one, but now her one and only concern was getting rid of Lara. And fast. What would Teal think if she came back and found Carissa’s ex sitting in her house? Somehow Carissa didn’t think Teal would be too impressed.