by Fiona Starr
“What the fuck, Jesse? You’re not sure? How is that even possible? Olivia is fantastic. She’s…” I had to stop myself. Olivia was fantastic and smart and amazing and beautiful, and so much more, but she loved him, and there was nothing I could do about that. I couldn’t let my own feelings about my best friend’s girl show. Not now, not ever.
“I know she is. She’s perfect, but something doesn’t feel right.” He looked up then and I saw the truth in his eyes.
“Oh man, you’re serious.” I could tell he was miserable.
“Fuck!” He stood up and started pacing the floor. “The wedding is in less than twelve hours. I am supposed to be happy. But it feels like I am tied to the tracks and there is no way to stop the freight train coming at me. You have to help me, man. I don’t know what to do.”
All I could think about was Olivia. Sure, my friend was a mess at the moment, but Olivia… this would crush her. I would do anything in my power to protect her from being hurt, but this… how could I protect her from this?
“If you’re not sure, you need to tell Olivia, like right now.” I pulled out my phone. “Call her and ask her to meet you. I’ll go with you if you want. She deserves to know.” I struggled to keep the intensity from my voice. “Jesse. We’re talking about Olivia. She doesn’t deserve this. If you don’t love her, you have to call it off before it’s too late.”
“I do love her. Jesus, whose side are you on?”
“Sides? There are no sides here, man. Come on, Jesse. You’re my best friend. You’re like a brother to me. But we all love Olivia, too.”
He popped the cap on the water bottle and took a swig. Then he leaned back and sat there with his eyes closed, as if lost in thought. “Maybe you’re right.”
“About which part?”
“I think I’m just nervous.”
Relief mingled with a twinge of regret in that moment and I realized that a part of me wanted him to call it off. A part of me saw a glimmer of hope that if he broke up with her perhaps there would be a chance…
I’ve loved Olivia Blaze since Jesse met her years ago. From the moment she came into his life there has been nobody else that even kind of lit a spark inside me. It always felt disloyal thinking about her in that way. They were in love. She picked him, but I’ve never let go of that torch I’ve carried for her.
Jesse and I hung out the rest of the night and talked until we were both convinced that he was just nervous about the wedding and the ‘forever’ part. He crashed on my couch and I set the alarm to make sure I got him home in time to get ready for his big day.
Then we stood together at the altar, the groom, his brother, our friends and me, the best man, watching the door for a glimpse of Olivia. I couldn’t let go of all Jesse had said the night before, but I knew that if we could just get through the ceremony, things would work themselves out.
Jesse turned to me and whispered. “No. I can’t do it.” His face was calm and serious.
I stared at him. “What?” I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“You were right. She deserves the best. Tell her for me? Tell her I am sorry.”
I reached for his arm. “Jesse, no. You can’t.”
He pulled back and held his hands up in surrender as he stepped back. “I have to.” Then he turned and shoved his hands in his pockets and made a bee-line for the door on the side of the church.
Jesse’s brother, David, stepped out from behind me and ran after him. Nobody else seemed to realize that the groom just took off when the organ music started and everyone stood.
I turned back to the entrance and saw Olivia standing there with her dad, all smiles and excitement. She took one look at me and realized something wasn’t right. I tried to stay calm as I made my way to her at the back of the church.
She grabbed my arm. “Luke? What’s happening? Where’s Jesse?” she whispered.
“David’s gone after him. I am so sorry, Olivia. I knew he was nervous, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”
“Didn’t think what was this bad?” she asked as she pulled me off to the side into a tiny chapel at the back of the church.
“Liv. I am so sorry. Jesse’s changed his mind. He’s gone.”
“Gone? Like, gone? Today?” The steel in her voice made me oddly proud of her. She wasn’t going to lose it. She wasn’t going to let Jesse’s weakness make her cower. She was angry.
“I know. I am so sorry. I didn’t think he’d leave you. Not like this.”
Her beautiful face went pale as she closed her eyes. “Oh my god. The guests.” She turned to her father who was holding her flowers. “Go to mom. Don’t let her cry over this.”
I watched Olivia as she marched right up to the front of the church and addressed everyone who was standing there waiting to witness her marriage. She stood tall and her voice didn’t waver even a little. “Hi everyone. Thank you all for coming, but it looks like the wedding is off.”
Gasps rang through the church and people began murmuring in confusion.
She raised her voice over the growing noise. “We’ve planned quite a reception, so it would mean a lot to me if you’d please join me and my family and celebrate the fact that I seem to have dodged a bullet here. I am so sorry.”
I could tell she was holding it together by sheer will as her bridesmaids surrounded her and they walked through the church to the waiting limo.
It was awful, and I think we were all in shock, but Olivia was right about dodging a bullet. I would rather see them both single than to know they were unhappily married from the start. Still… as heartbreaking as it was, my guilt was overwhelming. I knew. I could have stopped it and I didn’t say anything.
As terrible as I thought Jesse was for leaving her the way he did, it was the best thing. I just don’t think I could ever forgive myself for letting it happen the way it did. I should have warned her. I should have apologized to her that night. Instead I went back to my hotel room and emptied the minibar, trying to dull the ache in my own heart.
Chapter Three
OLIVIA
I check my schedule for the fourth time as I slip my sandals on. I’m not nervous about meeting with Ginny, the resort’s event manager, but can’t deny feeling on edge. It takes me a bit to realize it’s because I will be seeing a lot of my old friends tomorrow for the first time since my big bad wedding day.
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later; it’s been three years and it feels like everyone got engaged recently. There would be lots of wedding invitations in my future.
Normally, I’d have spent hours with the event staff by now, getting tours and walking through the plan several times, but with destination weddings, we have no choice but to cram all of that into whatever time we have after we arrive.
When Heather decided on this spot for her wedding, she surprised me by arranging for the resort and booking it herself. She said she knew the owner and it was already set. Now that I’m here, I can see why she chose this place to get married.
It’s a small, private island with a large twenty-bedroom manor house, complete with a wing of staff bedrooms and outbuildings as well as all the amenities any five-star all-inclusive resort would have. Except this is intimate and quiet.
I walk round the manicured gardens as I follow the signs to Ginny’s office, which is located in a small, pale stone building on the south side of the island. Massive flowering trees and shrubs in bright reds and purples and sunny yellows line the walkways around the grounds, their fragrance sweetening the air.
Everything about the resort says understated wealth and endless island charm. As I step onto the porch, I must walk through a beam of cell signal, because my phone notifications go off like a series of beeps and jingles. One look at my screen shows twenty-six texts, nine missed calls, and forty-three emails. I turn my phone on silent and drop it into my bag as I approach the door. The last thing I need is to be on my phone when I meet the hotel’s event coordinator. I lift my hand to knock, and the door swings open an
d Luke Morgan is standing there with a goofy smile on his face.
I am so surprised I actually take a step back. “Luke?” I shake my head, confused. “What are you doing here?”
“Ginny is home with a bad cold. I’m here to take her meeting with the wedding planner.” He grins so widely the corners of his eyes crinkle.
“Wow. I had no idea. I didn’t expect…” I blink as my mind races to put the pieces together. I remember something from years ago about Luke’s family being in the resort business like my family is, but I thought his family owned boutique properties in Europe.
“Yeah. I know, me neither.
“This is your place?”
He nods. “It was my uncle’s, and then he and his wife retired and their sons run properties in Italy and Spain, and, well… long story but here I am. Welcome to Little Perrin Island, Bermuda’s Hidden Gem.” He makes air quotes and laughs as he pushes the door open wider and steps back. “Come inside before you melt.”
I follow him into the small bungalow to an office off the front hall. The room is cool and decorated in white and various shades of blue. Large wooden plantation shutters keep the sun out while letting the light into the space. He directs me to a conference table near the door and I sit down, smoothing my skirt over my legs.
He walks over to a small fridge hidden behind a wooden door disguised as a wall panel. “Can I get you some water?”
I nod. “Water would be nice.” I realize that my mouth has gone dry. “How are you? When did you come down here? I haven’t seen you since…” I let my words trail off. We both know when we last saw each other.
“Yeah.” He frowns and then continues. “I’ve been good. Keeping busy here, loving island life. I took over the place about two and half years ago. Not long after…”
We both stare at each other awkwardly and then laugh.
I close my eyes and just swallow it. “Yeah. Look. It seems like we’re going to keep bumping into that day all weekend. So, why not get it out of the way? I am fine. I’ve been living in St. Louis since. I haven’t heard from him at all, and I am a little nervous about seeing everyone this weekend.”
He blows out his breath and leans back in his chair. “I am glad to know you’re doing well.” He watches me for a moment and smiles and I realize how good it is to see him.
When Jesse left me at the altar, there were no goodbyes with anyone. It was like Jesse was a bomb that exploded all of us, and we just broke off and left without looking back. But seeing Luke now I remember how big a part of my life he was back then. I remember what a good guy he was, how good a friend he was to Jesse.
“I’ve missed you, Luke. You look great. Island life agrees with you.”
“Thanks. You too. I can’t tell you how good it is to see you. I’ve thought about you a lot. I feel so badly about how everything went down. I wanted to… You deserve…”
I shake my head. “Don’t. You don’t have to say anything, Luke. I have spent so much time letting Jesse weigh in on my life since that day. He’s the one who left. He doesn’t deserve our time or energy. It was the most humiliating experience of my life, but it’s done. We don’t have to pretend it never happened. But we can let it go, all right?”
He looks stunned. “Sorry. You’re right. I’ve never thought about it like that. But he has been a factor in so much since.”
Something in the way he says that strikes me. “You don’t talk to him?”
“Me? No. I couldn’t. Not after what he did to you. Olivia…” He pauses for a moment as if thinking how to say what he wants to say. “I knew he wasn’t sure about marrying you. I could have stopped it before he made such a spectacle. I feel so guilty for what he put you through.”
I am both relieved and surprised. Part of me was worried that Jesse would crash the wedding this weekend or something, that he would make a scene with our friends and ruin Heather and Steve’s day. Deep down, I was preparing myself to remain calm and not make a scene no matter what. It’s a relief that he’s not in touch with anyone anymore. But I am surprised that Luke feels so strongly about what happened, that he feels guilty for any of it.
I reach across the table and grab his hand. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. Jesse is responsible for what Jesse did. Not you.”
He leans forward and covers my hand with his free one. His blue eyes lock on mine with an intensity I’ve never experienced from him. “Thank you, Olivia. You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that.”
I don’t want to pull my hand away. His skin is warm on mine and as I watch his face, I feel like he’s truly glad I let him off the hook. “I didn’t know you felt like this. I wish I had; I would have freed you years ago.”
His eyes hold mine. “Yeah, well… maybe I am a glutton for punishment.”
I sit back and pull my hand away reluctantly. “I hope not. Because I don’t intend to let this weekend’s wedding go anywhere but straight and according to plan.”
“Oh, good, because if I screw this up, Ginny will kill me.”
Chapter Four
LUKE
Olivia is exactly how I remember her, only better. Her brown hair is longer now than the chin-length bob she used to wear, and she has it pulled back in a twist with a few strands loose so they hang down around her face. Her eyes are the same hazy green as always and her smile still makes my chest feel tight. When she touched my hand in the office, I thought for sure she could feel my pulse racing through my skin.
After catching up with small talk and going over the menu and other details for the wedding in Ginny’s office, we decide to tour the property so Olivia can familiarize herself with the venue. We step outside the back door of the office and walk over the brick pavement to a waiting golf cart.
I wave my hand in a flourish. “Your chariot, my lady.”
“Oh thank you, kind sir.” She giggles as she climbs aboard and slips her sunglasses on.
I can’t stop smiling. I hop into the driver’s seat and we’re off to the first stop on the client tour.
Little Perrin Island is a little over eight acres, and it doesn’t take long to get around. Heather’s chosen to get married on the beach pavilion and then take photos at the end of the dock, so I steer the cart in that direction, with the intent to do a walk through of the entire event from start to finish.
When we arrive at the beach, two members of our landscaping crew are wrapping fresh greenery and flowers around the thick wooden posts of the pergola. The breeze coming in off the water is warm and steady, and they have to work to keep the woven garland from escaping as they go. When they spot us in the cart, they finish up the strand they are working on and wave to me as they walk away, leaving us alone on the beach.
Olivia steps out of her sandals and walks barefoot in the sand toward the shore. “It’s so beautiful.” She closes her eyes. The breeze pushes her hair off her face and presses her dress against the contours of her slender form.
I watch as the reflection of the sun off the water lights her neck from below, the ripples playing off her jawline. “Yeah. Beautiful.”
She shields her eyes from the sun and looks out at the view. “I know we’re just off the mainland, but it feels like we’re the only people on the planet.”
“It takes a little getting used to. I came here to get away after… well… after Jesse and everything, and I never left.”
Her brow furrows and she turns to watch me. “You mentioned that earlier. Luke, I had no idea Jesse leaving me at the altar had such an impact on you.”
I can’t look at her. I must have imagined an opportunity like this hundreds of times in the past few years, but now that she’s here and the moment has arrived, I don’t know what to do.
“Olivia, you don’t understand. I’ve… I mean. Ever since…” I’m rambling. I clamp my mouth shut. I don’t want to have this conversation. I’ve built Olivia up in my mind for so long I don’t think I am ready to risk losing the dream.
She touches my shoulder. “What is it?
Luke, you can talk to me.”
I close my eyes and take a breath and decide to leap. Whether she catches me or lets me fall flat on my face is up to her. It’s always been up to her. It’s never been within my control. When I open my eyes she’s standing right in front of me and I don’t think.
“He never deserved you, Olivia.” I heard my voice deepen, and I hated that it took such a serious turn. Now I can’t look away. I need to know if there is a chance.
She looks down at the sand. “I know. I didn’t at the time, of course, but… hindsight and all that.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
When she arches her brows, it forms a furrow between her eyes. “But why did what happened between Jesse and me throw you off the rails?”
I swallow hard. “Because from the moment he brought you to our apartment, Olivia, from the first time I laid eyes on you, it’s only been you.”
Her mouth opens a little in shock, but she doesn’t run away screaming, so that’s good. I decide to keep on going.
“You chose Jesse, so I never… I would never get in the way of that. He made you happy. And I know it sounds sappy but seeing you happy, even if that meant you were with him, well… that had to be enough.”
“Oh my god, Luke. I had no idea.” Her eyes seem to glow in the sun.
I hold her gaze. “I know.”
“All that time,” she whispers, taking a step closer.
“I know.”
“It must have been so hard.”
I feel pathetic. “I guess I got used to it. And then when he left you like that, I had no idea what to do. I thought about going to see you and got in my car a few times, but in the end I chickened out. You chose Jesse and I am so not like him. I think I had built you up in my mind for so long, reality wasn’t real anymore. You know?”
“Well, that wasn’t the best time for any of us.” She smiles and whatever tension there was in the air dissipates as we laugh.