by Jill Sanders
He knew the shiver was coming and gripped the wheel harder when it racked his body. He felt sweat bead on his brow, trickle down his back. He didn’t doubt that he’d lost most of his coloring too. His psychiatrist had said these were the classic signs of remorse and guilt, and to be expected when you’ve realized that the man you thought you knew wasn’t who he’d been pretending to be.
Maybe that’s why he no longer trusted anyone. He shook his head quickly. No, that wasn’t right. There were still a few people he trusted. His parents, his brother… A pair of silver gray eyes and emerald green one’s popped into his head. Shaking it again, he wondered why two ladies he hardly knew had been added to that very short list.
He pulled into his driveway. There was plenty of time before he would head over to Xtina’s for dinner after her parents’ funeral.
His mind rushed over how she’d looked that day. Her long hair had been pulled away from her face. She’d worn a dark skirt with a cream-colored blouse, which had only made her skin look creamier. He’d instantly wanted to test it to see if it tasted as good as it looked, which had been very awkward since he’d been sitting inches away from Jessie.
He knew Xtina had a full day ahead of her. He’d read in the local paper that her parents’ funeral was being held at their church with the dinner afterwards at the house. But the paper didn’t really say anything more.
His mind still raced over the possibility that her parents’ accident wasn’t… well, just that. His gut told him there was something more behind it, and after what happened to him last year, he’d learned how important it was to listen to his gut.
Chapter Four
There was nothing Xtina hated more than sitting in a church full of people. Except sitting in this church, full of these people. She knew almost everyone crowded in the small hundred-year-old white building. The church was one of the oldest in Hidden Creek and its congregation all believed it was the oldest because it was the most righteous. The building may have stood for a very long time, but its congregation and the people who ran it had all come and gone several times in just her lifetime.
The current pastor, a man in his mid-thirties, was new to her. She listened to him talk about her parents and preach his side-sermon and could see why the building was packed. He was a very good speaker. He kept the crowd entertained and added some emotion into what he said about her parents, and before she knew it, it was her turn to climb the stairs and stand in front of the microphone.
She’d toiled over her speech since being asked to speak a few days ago. What should she say? That she was grateful she’d escaped her parents’ clutches years ago? That she believed her mother and father had been some of the worst parents known to man? Should she talk about the hours she’d hidden from them in fear? Or all the things she had to keep from them because of the punishment they would inflict or the methods they used in the name of God to cleanse her from the evil that had gripped her?
Taking a deep breath, she focused on the back of the room and started her planned speech about how they had impacted the lives of the people in town. How they had both been raised in Hidden Creek, met in grade school, fallen in love in middle school, gone on to marry shortly after high school, and settled down into their lives until the night they were tragically ripped from this earth.
When she sat back down, she noticed that a few more eyes in the audience were wet and realized that she’d done her duty as a daughter. She felt a jolt travel up her back and turned slightly as the pastor was finishing up his speech. When she noticed Jessie step in the back door, still in her uniform from the Coffee Corner, she felt a wave of relief flood over her. One person she could trust was now in her corner.
Jessie made her way towards Xtina after everyone stood up and started talking quietly.
“You okay, hun?” Jess started to touch her arm, but then held back.
“Yes, much better now that it’s over.”
“Sorry I couldn’t make it to hear you talk.”
Xtina almost laughed, but then glanced around the room and the somber people surrounding them. “I took it almost word for word from my mother’s journal I found last night.”
“Oh?” Jess sidestepped to allow an older couple to walk by.
“Later.” Xtina tucked her arms into her jacket and hugged it tight. She hated this part. The part where she was supposed to stand by the door and shake hands with everyone while they sniffled and told her how great her parents were. “Stay with me?” Her eyes must have looked panicked because Jessie reached over and touched her arm.
“Sure.” She dropped her arm quickly enough that Xtina felt nothing but love from her friend.
A little over an hour later, Xtina’s head felt like it was going to explode. Her body needed a recharge and her mind needed a break. But there was a string of cars following her down the bumpy lane to her home and she knew no such break would happen for a few more hours.
The fact that Jessie’s little blue car was right behind hers did cheer her up some. Then, when she pulled into the driveway, she noticed Mike standing on the front porch with a large brown paper bag in his hands. She couldn’t stop the smile or the feeling that with him and Jess by her side, the next few hours would fly by.
“Hey,” he said as she climbed the stairs towards him.
“Hi.” She stopped right in front of him. He looked even better than last night and this morning at the coffee shop. He’d changed into dark slacks and a dark blue button-up shirt and had a black tie on. His dark hair was combed back and he’d shaved. She could smell the fresh scent of his aftershave, which almost caused her knees to buckle when he leaned closer to her.
“You look tired.” His free hand reached out and took her elbow. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”
It still jolted her to feel his touch without all the extra things flooding her mind. Her eyes traveled down to the spot where his skin touched hers. His fingers were long and strong looking. She’d noticed they matched the rest of him and felt her face heat.
“I’ll survive, as long as that’s what I think it is.” She nodded towards the bag and watched a smile form on his lips and felt her heart skip a few pumps.
His hand stayed on her back as she unlocked the front door. Then it dropped away when Jessie started up the porch stairs.
“Hi.” Her friend smiled and rushed over to them. “I’m sure glad I won’t be the only one here to support Xtina.”
Xtina felt stronger with the two of them by her side. She knew that Mike still felt awkward around Jessie but was pretty positive that would pass since Jessie had a way of making people relax around her.
Leaving them to talk just inside the doorway, Xtina walked into the kitchen. She needed to check up on the meals she’d pulled from the freezer and placed into the oven on low before heading out to the church earlier.
The house smelled like her mother’s chicken casserole. Flipping on the coffee pot, she pulled the casserole out of the oven and checked it. It was perfect. Then she put in the three apple pies she’d found in the freezer and started setting out other items she knew she’d need.
Several of her mother’s friends walked into the kitchen, all with their arms full of food and baked goods. Soon, the large kitchen was full of other scents and voices.
She avoided bumping into anyone by sitting down at the oversized bar top, after one of her mother’s friends, Crystal, told her she looked too tired to help out. Jessie had come in and sat next to her, keeping her company while the women worked in the kitchen area and the men gathered in the living room.
She was thankful when Mike walked into the kitchen almost half an hour later. He took her shoulders in his hands and leaned down to whisper in her ear.
“How’s it going?”
She’d stiffened under his touch and when he noticed, he didn’t drop his hands, but instead started gently rubbing her tired muscles, causing her body to vibrate. She was finding it harder and harder to keep her mind from wondering what else those hands
could do to her.
“Once I get some food in me, I should be better.”
“I think that they’re almost ready.” Jessie stood up. “Want me to get you a plate?”
Xtina shook her head and stood up, dislodging Mike’s hands from her shoulders. “I can handle it myself. Thanks.”
“Too bad there isn’t some booze in the house,” Jessie whispered, frowning at them.
Mike looked at Xtina. “Mike brought some… for later.”
“Oh,” Jessie said, then her eyebrows shot up. “Ohhhh.” She dragged it out. “Wow, I guess things move fast…”
“Don’t,” Mike said, shaking his head. “Xtina asked…”
“No, I get it.” Xtina could tell that Jessie was teasing, but she could also see a hint of hurt in her friend’s eyes.
“I had hoped you would stick around too.” She reached for her friend’s hand. A shocked look replaced the hurt in Jessie’s eyes when her palms touched hers.
Xtina hadn’t braced for it, and the memory slipped in under her defenses.
Mike and Jessie where on a date at Shay Burbone’s, a fancy restaurant at the edge of town. Then they were sitting outside her place as Jessie moved closer to Mike, their lips meeting for the first time. Heat and something else close to sparks spread through her friend. Next, they were on Jessie’s sofa, arms and legs wrapped around each other as clothes were tossed aside.
Xtina could feel her friend’s heartbeat spike as Mike reached for the clasp of her slacks, then, Jessie opened her eyes and… something was off. Mike wasn’t… well, Mike. He was, but something was off about him. Instead of his longer messy hair, which she’d just enjoyed running her fingers through, it was much shorter, almost military. The soft smile she’d come to enjoy was gone, replaced by a hard line as he frowned down at her. Somehow, his nose had changed, too, it looked slightly crooked. Everything about him was… different.
When she blinked, Mike was back. This time, his soft full lips were frowning down at her.
“What the hell?” he asked, pulling back. “What the hell was that?” He shook his head.
Jessie jerked her arm free from Xtina’s and the memory faded just in time for Xtina to see the room spin before everything went white.
***
Mike caught Xtina just before her head hit the countertop. Several ladies in the room gasped when they noticed that she’d passed out. He easily and gently picked her up and walked with her in his arms as Jessie led him up the stairs into what he assumed was her bedroom.
When he laid her down on the small bed, she moaned.
“I’ll get her a cold washcloth,” Jessie said as she disappeared through a doorway.
He glanced back down at Xtina just as her green eyes opened.
“There you are,” he said softly.
“It was you, but it wasn’t.” She blinked a few times. “I…” She shook her head and he could see her eyes focus. “I guess I should have had more than a muffin to tide me over today.”
He brushed a strand of her dark hair away from her face.
“Have you always had black hair?” He didn’t know why he asked the question, but something told him he had to know.
“No.” She shook her head slightly. “It’s my way of rebelling.” He watched her ample chest rise and fall slowly as she took a couple deep breaths. “That and this.” She scooted up and exposed her upper left arm. An impressively colored tattoo covered most of her left shoulder.
“May I?” he asked, his fingers hovering over her skin. When she nodded and moved to sit up, he gently pulled down her loose sweater until he had exposed the entire piece of art.
It started at her collarbone, a black raven whose wings were spread out and had beady eyes red as blood. As his eyes slowly moved downward, he could see that the color of the bird’s wings turned a shade lighter until they were purple, teal, blue, and hues of pink. When he looked at the piece completely, it no longer looked like a raven, but a beautiful black swan whose head was dipped down as if in a graceful defeat. The raven’s eyes were no longer predominant, and instead, the swan’s green eyes were the focal point.
“Wow,” he said under his breath.
“Here’s the water and some food…” Jess walked in, then did a double take. “Wow!” She set a tray of food down then rushed over to look at the art on her friend’s body. “Where’d you get this?” Her finger brushed over Xtina’s shoulder.
He watched as a shiver pulsed through Xtina’s body. Quickly, Jessie’s hand pulled back.
“Sorry.” She frowned down at Xtina. “I didn’t mean…”
Xtina reached for her hand. “It’s okay, I’m just tired and hungry.”
“I brought you up a tray.” She walked over and brought the tray to her. “You stay here. Everyone is helping themselves and then I think I can get them to leave early since you’re not feeling well.”
“I couldn’t…” Xtina started to say, only to have him hold her in bed.
“Sure you can.” His hands gently held her back. The shoulder of her sweater was still down, exposing the colorful skin. “Jessie can get everyone to leave quickly, then we can open the wine I brought. That is, unless you want to hang out with everyone downstairs.” He felt her shiver and watched her eyes close.
“Not particularly,” she said dryly.
“Good, then it’s settled. I’ll let you know when the coast is clear,” Jessie said, then disappeared out the door, only to peek her head in again. “Don’t start the party without me. The wine, I mean.” She winked then shut the door behind her.
“I think she still likes you,” Xtina said, throwing him off even more. He dropped his hands from her skin and tried to think of something to say. “Don’t worry, she has mixed feelings about you that are causing her not to act on anything.”
“Um.” He felt his mouth go dry. “I like her… I thought things were going well, until…”
“Yeah, I saw what happened.” She scooted up in the bed, shifting the tray of food in her lap.
“You saw?” He frowned down at her, not sure he understood.
“Sure, I mean…” Her green eyes grew large, then moved slowly towards his. “I mean… she told me…” She blinked a few times and he could tell she was lying.
“Xtina.” He stopped her from continuing. “Why are you afraid?”
“I’m not.” Her chin rose up a little.
He chuckled softly at her. “The night I meet you, I tell you I see ghosts, then—”
“She’s not a ghost,” she interrupted, scooping up a spoonful of casserole and taking a bite.
“Right, so you say. So, I tell you I’m seeing…” Her eyes moved up to his, stopping the word from coming out of his mouth. “A woman, who is see-through and floating at the foot of my bed,” he supplied, and Xtina smiled slightly and nodded. “And you act like it’s no big deal. But I’ve watched you. Here and at the coffee shop. You cringe every time someone comes near you. Every time someone touches you, your eyes go misty and grow blank. Then you’re racked with—for the lack of a better word—spasms. All of the color leaves your body and you look like you’ve got a massive migraine. What’s going on? Are you sick?”
She laughed, a rich, full-bodied laugh that filled the room.
“You could say that.” She took another bite and closed her eyes. “You know, my mother was sure a bitch, but boy could she cook.”
He felt his own head spin at the turn of the conversation. “Christina…”
“Don’t call me that.” Her eyes darkened and the smile disappeared from her lips.
“Then don’t avoid the subject,” he demanded.
Her eyes narrowed. “No, I’m not sick. At least not in the traditional sense.”
“Then what? Why did you pass out downstairs?” he asked again.
She pushed the tray aside, then crossed her arms over her chest. Since the sweater was still pulled down over her shoulder, her breasts pushed together with the movement. A wave of desire struck him hard and fast.
>
“I’m just tired. That’s all,” she insisted.
He waited as he forced his eyes to remain on hers instead of her beautiful breasts.
“I have a knack for telling when someone’s lying. It’s what made me a great cop and I know for a fact—”
“You were a cop?” she interrupted.
“Yes, but you’re avoiding the conversation again.”
“Where? In Atlanta?” She uncrossed her arms and leaned towards him.
“Yes, I was on the lower side.”
“For how long?” Her green eyes looking eager.
“Almost four years.” He still felt the loss of the job.
“Why’d you quit?”
“Who said I quit? Maybe I was fired?” he muttered.
She shook her head. “No, you quit. I can see the sadness in your eyes.”
“Why couldn’t I be sad about being fired?”
She chuckled. “I guess you could say I have a second sight about these sort of things, too.”
His chin went up. “Tell you what, you answer my questions, and I’ll answer yours.” He waited until her lips puckered in a slight pout. “Fair?” He held out a hand. Her eyes zeroed in on it until finally, she slowly reached out and took it in hers.
“Okay, ask.” She tried to jerk her hand away, but he held it firmly.
“First question. Why are you afraid to touch people or have them touch you?”
Her eyes moved to their joined hands. “I’m a germophobe.”
He chuckled. “Okay, new rule. I promise not to lie… as long as you don’t.”
She sighed loudly, then nodded. “I see things.” His eyebrows shot up.
“Like our non-ghost?”
She waited, then slowly nodded. “And more. When I touch someone, I can see… their memories.”
He felt his skin goosebump over. “All of them?” His hand tightened in hers.
“No, just what they’re thinking about at the moment.”