by A. C. Bextor
11:30 p.m. Whatever it is you’re cooking.
Another loud burst comes from the kitchen and then my phone rings in my hand. I don’t know how to answer. Texting Sarah was always easy, and after everything I said to her I’m nervous about talking to her for the first time without the barrier of “words on phones.”
I sigh, trying to get through it and remind my beloved friend, “You said you’d be here to see me through this, Bean.” The picture I’ve grabbed of Sarah, Bean, and me shines dimly in the light from the hall that barely makes its way through Sarah’s cracked door. But it’s enough. I feel Bean’s hand helping guide me where I want to be.
With Sarah.
Minutes go by and I don’t hear anything, but I see the shadow of her feet under the door and smile to myself as I wait for her to open it.
She doesn’t.
I hear a small thump outside where I know she’s standing so I get off the bed and stand on the opposite side of the door.
“Travis,” I hear her loudly whisper.
I don’t answer.
“If you’re in there, could you tell me?” her whisper increases this time to almost her full voice.
“I’m here, Sarah.”
The thump hits the door again, this time with more force. When I open it I see Sarah’s head fall slightly, leaving her to look down at her bare feet, which oddly enough I’ve found I’ve missed rubbing.
“Does Ace know you’re here?” she asks the ground.
“Yes.”
Her head rises and tears stream down her face, one after the other. These aren’t the tears I’ve seen from her so many times before. She’s scared and confused—about me.
“Sarah,” I say first, willing her to come toward me.
“Did you leave something here?”
“No.”
“Did you come to talk to Rae?”
“No.”
I watch her foot come off the ground, almost as though she’s in position to start a race, but she places it back down and stands quietly in front of me.
“Ace came to my dad’s place last night.” She inhales a deep breath before I continue. “We talked. Things aren’t easy between us.”
“He’ll forgive you as long as we’re not together. I know he’ll get over it.”
“I won’t.”
“Yes, you will,” she states petulantly, again looking down. “I was afraid you’d be cast out like a criminal from the group because of me. I read Ace’s letter from Bean and I listened to what he had to say, so I think he’s willing to be friends with you again.”
It’s funny to me that she thinks as long as she does what Ace says, then everything will go back to being like it was.
“Sarah, we’re not eight. You’re not a trophy.”
Crossing her arms over her middle, she shrugs. “You guys are acting like it.”
Without saying anything in return, I walk to her and position my hands at her waist. My eyes close on their own once they feel her warmth, and my fingers lift her shirt, accessing her soft skin.
Her hands catch both wrists and hold them still.
“Why are you here?”
The sound of her voice, so lost and unsure, makes me open my eyes to hers. She tilts her head to the side and waits for my answer.
* * *
Sarah
Please be here for me.
Dear God, please say Ace gave his blessing and things will be okay.
Please don’t walk away and leave me hurting again.
Wait!
“Why the fuck are you here?” I hear myself snap. His neck pulls back as a look of utter confusion crosses his face. “Travis? Why?”
Walking past him and into my room, I move around in a small circle, trying to get a handle on what the fuck’s happening.
When I came home from a shitty night at the diner, all I thought of doing was washing away my guilt and sadness in a hot bath. Ace told me he was taking Rae to Hayden’s dad’s beach house. She hasn’t been happy with him since all this shit started, so to pull himself out of the doghouse he told Rae he wanted her and Deck to go with him for a few days away. She agreed with reservation.
When I was in the kitchen and got the text from Travis, my heart sank.
When I figured out he was here, at Ace’s, I wanted to run to him and almost did. I stopped myself inches before opening the door.
Hearing his voice solidified how much I’ve truly missed him. Looking into his eyes cemented how much he’s missed me. Now, though, as he stands so close, my heart isn’t broken . . . it’s tired of searching for the rhythm Travis gave it.
It’s furious.
“I asked why you’re here.”
“Sarah,” he starts and I roll my eyes. He’s trying to calm me.
“Just say it! Why did you come here?”
He walks in my direction while removing his shoes and I’m stuck looking at his feet. One drops, and then the other, before I’m able to catch a breath.
“Why?” I hear myself whisper.
Standing in front of me, looking into my eyes, Travis says nothing. He lifts the hem of his shirt, his muscles shifting with the movement of him removing it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, whispering again. I feel my eyes widen in awe of being in his confident and strong presence.
His hands make their way to his jeans. After releasing the button, he unzips them and closes the distance between us completely.
“I love you,” he says in my ear while his hands roam the expanse of my waist. They lock themselves tight behind me, holding my body hostage to his.
“That doesn’t tell me why you’re here,” I answer, feeling my skirt being unzipped.
Travis drags it down my thighs, kissing each in turn, then grabbing each ankle, one after the other, to help remove it. Feeling his aura surround me, I’m not as pissed as I was.
Stretching his large body, he stands to face me again. This time, his fingers work the buttons on my shirt. One after another, I watch with bated breath as he works them with ease.
“Are we going to have an affair?”
He smiles wide at my ridiculous question. I hadn’t meant to ask that out loud.
Once he has the last button undone, his fingertips touch my shoulders and he removes my shirt. It drops to the floor with the rest of our clothes.
“You’re not talking.”
He smiles again, this one bigger than the last. Leaning in, he kisses my shoulder near my bra strap and drags it down, then kisses where it sat. He does the same with the other.
“I don’t understand,” I say on a light moan once he unclasps my bra and aggressively takes my nipple in his mouth.
My hands make their way to his hair and I shamelessly pull as much of it as I can, holding him in place. I feel his breath against my skin and it causes my body’s reaction to him to spur; I feel warm all over.
His hands clutch my ass and I feel the tear in my favorite panties before he tosses them aside.
Swallowing hard, feeling exposed and vulnerable, I ask, “What are we doing?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead he grabs my wrists and pulls them to the waist of his jeans. Without words, he’s telling me to remove them. Without hesitation I do as he wants. I bend, removing his jeans and boxers, waiting for him to step out of them. I look up from where I’m crouched; rest my knees on the floor and continue to stare into his eyes.
My hands make their way to his cock. With my confidence already waning, my fingers circle it gently, root to tip, back and forth, keeping the circle tightly closed. When Travis breaks eye contact and looks at the ceiling to exhale, I take it in my mouth.
I’ve never heard Travis moan.
The walls echo his surprise as he continues straining to look up. He grabs my head. One hand braces the back, the other holding tight against the crown. Immediately he starts to move his hips, forcing me to take him in and out of my mouth with quick, gentle thrusts. I close my eyes and listen.
He’s saying my name. .
. .
But this time, it’s not to console me, call out to me, and definitely not to calm me. He’s saying my name in pleasure.
I hum with satisfaction and he uses more force in response.
Looking down at me, he pulls my hair to stop me. I continue sucking eagerly, attempting to deter him from stopping this. His eyes narrow slightly before he hisses loudly.
“You need to stop,” he demands, concentrating on my mouth.
I have nothing to say. I continue to move him in and out of my mouth until I’m given a taste of what’s coming. I’ve never tasted him. I’ve never pushed him over the edge in any physical sense. When I’ve told him he’s aggressive, I meant it, but now I realize I had no idea what I was saying.
My hair is pulled again. This time it causes me to drop my hold on him. My mouth stays open and my eyes stay trained on the part of him he’s taking away.
“You’ve never done that,” he whispers.
I nod in agreement because I haven’t. My inexperience kept me from exploring all parts of him.
“I’m going to come all over you, Sarah.”
Dear God in heaven, please make that happen.
“And you’re going to look at me when I do.”
I’ve never heard Travis talk about sex, let alone talk about it with such raw vulgarity. I start to smile, thinking he’s not serious, but hoping like fuck he is.
He doesn’t smile back at all. His eyes are blazing. Bending down, Travis reaches under my arms, lifts me in the air and tosses me gently on the bed. Thinking he’s going to get in, I start to move over, but he grabs my legs, spreading them wide. He crouches until his knees hit the floor and his mouth covers my entire pussy.
Fuck me. I’ve never felt anything like this.
His tongue explores my clit, racing around it then adding pressure. I start to buck off the bed, unable to control my own movements. His hands find my waist and his fingers dig in harshly, holding me in place. I feel my eyes roll in my head as my back arches off the bed.
The aching in my clit stops, but only long enough for me to feel his tongue dip inside me.
My body jolts with a pleasure I can’t contain it. I let out a loud, gut-wrenching scream. My hands fist the sheets as I try to pull myself up. I fight uselessly with my body until Travis eases his torturous but pleasurable assault.
His head pulls back and I catch my breath before looking down on him. His smile is back.
“You’re happy with yourself,” I say, joking.
His smile drops. “Not until you come all over my face.”
Fuck.
Fear races through me. So far with Travis, my inexperience hasn’t mattered. He’s not pushed me further than he knows I’m willing to go.
He’s pushing now.
“Travis,” I start, realizing I’m using his name to calm him, but in an entirely different scenario.
His eyes are still blazing and his hands are still holding me in place.
“I’m going to take your ass, too.”
I gasp, not from pleasure. His proclamation scares the piss out of me.
His finger pushes against the ring of nerves there and I sit up and try to back away. I don’t get far. Travis stands, grabs me again and tosses me further on the bed. His body falls between my thighs and he’s poised at my entrance. His hands are braced on either side of my head.
“Not tonight,” he says, sliding into me with a hard thrust. “Soon, though,” he continues, pushing in and out. “If you’re goin’ to be mine, I’m goin’ to take that, too.”
I freeze. I can’t help but look at him then at the ceiling as my brows furrow in thought. I bite my bottom lip briefly as I continue thinking. Travis senses this and stops moving. His cock is inside me, pulsing. My soft tissues surrounding him are already swollen from his fingers and tongue.
Pushing at his chest, I force him further up. “What did you say?”
“I’m going to take your ass.”
Slapping his chest quickly so he doesn’t forget, I ask again, “No, before that. What did you say?”
I see the smile on his face. The hall light spotlights his chiseled features. “I said if you’re going to be mine. . . .”
“How’s that possible?” I whisper with hope.
“Not about possible, it’s what it is. If you still want us, Sarah. Do you?”
“Yes,” I return softly, my heart less heavy than it’s felt in the week that passed without him. “Are you sure?”
“Sarah, I’m in your bed. I’m naked and on top of you. My cock is in your pussy. Ask again, am I sure.”
“Aggressive,” I respond.
“Not yet, but it’s about to be.”
My eyes widen before his mouth finds mine and takes it in a violent claim. I taste myself on his lips and tongue. I don’t resist him; I accept him with all I’ve got in me.
“When I come on your stomach, I want you looking at me,” he whispers after releasing my mouth.
I start to say something, then stop. Not because I don’t have a million thoughts running through my head, but because Travis is hitting the same spot inside me he’s done before and my insides clench in tormented pleasure.
“Ready?”
I can’t verbally respond, so I nod.
His body picks up speed, his hands hold my arms above my head and his words fuel the drive he’s already pushed me toward.
“Come for me, baby. I want to fuckin’ hear you.”
It’s there. My body shakes, my head thrashes, and he doesn’t stop until I’m completely taken.
“Sarah, look at me!” he shouts, the vein in his neck protruding as he holds himself up on one arm and uses his other to pull out and hold his cock against me. His warmth spreads over my thighs and stomach.
The thought comes and I can’t let it go. I have to smile. I never thought a man’s cum could be so hot!
After he’s done, I feel his hand against my stomach as he spreads it. He continues the warm trail up to my chest and back down to my sex. His fingers dip in and out. I gasp, sensitive to the touch.
“That was intense,” I say, exhaling.
I’m watching the small space between our bodies, but he’s studying it. Finally, he looks back at me with a serious expression. “This is us if you want it, Sarah. It won’t change.”
“I don’t want to change anything. I just want it back.”
Kissing me, gently this time, Travis covers my body with his completely. When he’s done, his neck pulls back and we’re nose to nose.
“I meant it when I said I loved you.”
“I know.”
“And I’m sorry about forcing you to go.”
“I know.”
“I did it for you. I’m still nervous you’re going to wake up one morning and realize that I’m all you’ve ever known. I’m scared you’ll hate me for it.”
I shake my head as I tell him, “Won’t happen. You get me and I don’t think there’s anyone else that does.”
“I put up with you, you mean.”
“There’s something I want to say,” I start, and watch his eyebrow rise in question. “And this may piss you off, but you need to hear it ’cause I need to say it.”
“What now?”
My face is as honest and serious as I can make it. “Ace won’t just go away. He’s going to meddle. He’s never going to agree you’re enough for me.”
“Fuck Ace,” he returns quickly with a look of irritation.
Pulling out from under him, I sit up to give us both space. “That’s not what you said before. You left me.”
“Sarah,” he sits up, grabs my face and holds me still. “I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure you’re taken care of. Always. And you saw Ace after he found that shit out. He was livid. I did what I had to do to make you happy.”
My eyes are welling with tears. I look up toward the ceiling to avoid having them fall. “If I don’t have you, Travis, I won’t ever be happy.”
“I won’t leave you again.”<
br />
“I don’t think I could handle it.”
He sighs softly. “You could, Sarah. But you have my promise. I won’t leave you again.”
Kissing his cheek and smiling to myself, I aim to lighten the mood. “You’re a moody ass with a boss complex.”
“Boss complex?”
“You’re bossy.”
Rolling over to his side, he takes me with him. “Go shower. You’re a mess.”
“See!”
“It’s not bossy if what I’m telling you to do benefits you.”
“You need a shower, too. I’m not the only mess,” I plead in my own defense.
“I’ll be in soon if you insist.”
“I fucking do,” I reply. Standing up, I don’t make a move to hide what he’s done. Before he can complain about my mouth, I tell him, “I like wearing you. That was hot.”
“When I take your ass, you’ll tell me it’s hotter.”
Shaking my head nervously as Travis laughs, I start to walk backward toward the door. “One thing at a time, okay?”
“Sure, Sarah,” he responds, looking toward the ceiling.
Of course he’s an ass man. I should’ve been able to call that shit.
Once we’re out of the shower, where he cleaned us both, I take more time than he does to get ready for bed. When I make my way back to my room, I find Travis lying under my sheet that only reaches his abs.
He’s already fallen asleep.
My finger itches to trace his face, but I don’t. He looked so tired when I finally got a good look at him in the light of the bathroom, proving he hadn’t slept either.
Crawling in beside him, completely exhausted myself, I lay my head on his chest and feel his arm wrap around my back.
“I love you,” I whisper.
“I know,” he answers.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Travis
SARAH 09:38 A.M. Where the hell are you?
Sarah’s text doesn’t come as a surprise. After the last time I left her with a note on my pillow, she has good reason to be worried. It’s understandable.
09:39 a.m. Running errands. Be back soon.
Sarah 09:39 a.m. You run errands?
Looking down at my father’s grave marker, I smile, thinking he’d probably call me crazy for choosing a life with a woman who drives me to the brink of insanity. I’d have to make him somehow understand that her insanity gives me an unexplainable peace.