by A. C. Bextor
Pulling her head up, Travis frames her face. “This doesn’t change you, Lacey. This is dirty and you’re not.”
“Manny was killed in a motorcycle wreck two years ago,” Cheryl adds. “He served time for what he did to me.”
“That’s why you hate me,” Lacey draws out softly.
Cheryl doesn’t say anything.
Travis moves to sit next to Lacey again, but she stops him. She looks at Travis, but her words are meant for her mother. “I always knew there was something I had to be missing,” she whispers. “Some reason unknown to me why my mom couldn’t stand to look at me.”
“I loved you,” Cheryl states. “I was sick and when I found out I was pregnant I thought of aborting the pregnancy. I almost went through with it, but couldn’t.”
Travis pulls Lacey closer to him, and then focuses back on Cheryl. “Why’d you leave my dad?”
“Because it was what he wanted. He was angry. After it happened we tried to stay together. I begged him to forgive me for putting you in danger.”
“He didn’t forgive you,” Travis assumes out loud.
Cheryl’s head shakes. “No, and I was spending more time trying to keep him than heal myself. I was using more and more to forget the pain. It was too late for my marriage, so I left.”
I watch Trav’s eyes soften. He’s softening toward her with pity. “You were a good mom, I think. From what I remember anyway.”
“I was a good mom to you. It wasn’t until I found out I was pregnant with Lacey I realized I had no business being anyone’s mother.”
“Travis,” Lacey whispers, calling his name for protection. “Please make her go away.”
Travis nods and stands. Immediately Lacey moves toward me and grabs my hand. Tears fall from my eyes but not from sadness for what happened to Cheryl all those years ago. The tears are for her kids; those she left in pain in the wake of her fucked-up life.
“You need to go,” Trav tells her.
“And never come back,” I add, looking at Lacey sitting next to me, so lost and broken.
Cheryl stands, her legs having a hard time keeping balance. “I hope I gave you whatever you were looking for.”
“Yes,” Travis replies.
“I’ll go,” Cheryl says, walking toward him.
Travis backs up and points to the door without another word. Cheryl walks to it and doesn’t stop until she’s closed it behind her.
The wail of anguish that leaves Lacey breathless is heart wrenching.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Travis
“SARAH, CAN YOU call Hayden for me?” I ask while holding Lacey on the couch. “She can’t drive and he needs to get here soon. If he doesn’t answer, have him paged at the Ward.”
Sarah nods and heads toward the kitchen, surprisingly doing exactly what I’ve asked.
“Lacey,” I call, hoping she’ll hear me. She hasn’t said a word in the twenty minutes that have passed since our mother left. “I didn’t want you to hear any of that. I wasn’t sure it was true until today.”
She sniffs against my chest and I rub her back for comfort. “I knew, Travis. Barry and I don’t look anything alike really. I mean, I guess I believed he was my dad because that’s what I was told. He was always so nice to me.”
“This doesn’t change who you are.”
“I’m the result of my mother’s rape. Jesus, no wonder she fucking hated me.”
“I love you,” I tell her, running my hand over her head, trying to offer reassurance.
Sitting up, she wipes her eyes and turns to look at me. “I really want to go home.”
“We can do spa day another time, Lace,” Sarah tells her, situating herself on the edge of the couch. Sarah hands her a bottle of water and watches to ensure Lacey takes a drink.
“Thanks,” Lacey returns, accepting the drink. “We’ll go later this week.”
Sarah stews for a second. I watch as she bites the inside of her lip, but I’m waiting for her to say what’s on her mind. Then she does.
“Your mom’s a cunt,” she starts. Lacey and I turn to look at her as she keeps talking. “I mean, seriously. Who the fuck keeps something like that a secret from their kids?”
“I feel sorry for her,” Lacey answers. “It makes me sad to know a person’s soul is so dark that they are able to keep something like that in for so long.”
“Cunt,” Sarah utters again.
I move my hand to Sarah’s knee to keep it from bouncing. “We get it, Sarah. You hate her.”
Sarah shrugs, looks to Lacey and replies, “Hate cunts, yeah.”
This causes Lacey to grin a little, which I’m thankful for—cunt talk or not.
“Lacey.” I get her attention. “Hayden’s on his way. Is there anything you want to talk about before he gets here?”
Now sitting up, Lacey shakes her head.
“Need a foot rub?” Sarah asks my sister with a smirk. Again I see a small smile trace Lacey’s face and I’m thankful for that one, too.
“Travis rubs your feet?” Lacey asks in surprise.
“Yep. He’s okay at it. It’s not great but it gets the job done, I guess.”
Now Lacey releases a small laugh and turns to me. Her eyes are brimming with tears and her face is still full of them, but I see a small light in her smile. “You really rub her feet?”
“Sometimes,” I answer casually. Mentally, though, I’m committing to never doing it again.
“This has been a God damn day of revelations,” Lacey tells Sarah.
Sarah agrees. “Fuck yeah, it has.”
“I hate your mouth,” I say to them both.
“You’ve mentioned that,” Sarah returns, taking another drink, but her eyes never leave mine.
Sarah gets up to check the parking lot outside my front window. I can tell she’s anxious for Lacey to leave. After a few minutes she informs us, “Hayden’s here. I told him you didn’t feel good. I didn’t want him worrying all the way over.”
Lacey wipes her eyes, stands, and walks to Sarah to hug her tight. “I don’t think there’s anyone else I would’ve wanted with me during this mess.”
Sarah looks puzzled. “I didn’t do anything.”
“You did everything. The cunt decree included.”
Sarah smiles and looks back at me before telling Lacey, “Go home and be with your superhot man. Call me later.”
Hayden enters the apartment and the second Lacey’s eyes move to his, she completely falls apart.
* * *
“I’m not having kids,” Sarah tells me as I finish rubbing her God damn feet while the credits of Snapped start to scroll the screen.
“You’re not?”
“Nah. Parents fuck ’em up. I don’t want to do that to an innocent kid.”
Before Lacey and Hayden left we all filled Hayden in on what happened. Understandably he was upset he hadn’t been here when the news came pouring out like acid, destroying everything it touched. He was pissed with me briefly, until Sarah informed him I had tried to get them to leave before Cheryl showed up.
“Do you feel better?” Sarah asks, looking at me from her prone position on the couch.
I take another pull from my beer before I answer. “Yes and no. I hate that’s how shit went down, but I’m hoping now that I know, I’ll never have to think about it again.”
“I’m really sorry, Travis.”
“I’m okay.”
“I’m not sorry Lacey and I were here.”
“Didn’t figure you would be.”
“I still want to kill your mother.”
“I know.”
“She’s a cunt.”
“You said that.”
“I hate her.”
“You said that, too. Can we stop talking about her?”
“Sure.” She shrugs and turns her focus to the television.
I stew for a few minutes, my grip getting tighter on her foot. She winces and starts to pull it back, but I stop her and turn to give her what’s on my m
ind. “You said Hayden was hot.”
“What?” she asks in surprise.
“You told Lacey to go be with her ‘superhot man.’ I didn’t love that.”
Her smile starts slowly, but grows, adding to my irritation. “Are you jealous?”
“Nope.”
Maybe a little.
“Hayden is hot,” she repeats. “Like, uh, super-fucking-hot.”
“Sarah,” I warn, narrowing my eyes, but continue to avoid looking at her.
“Have you seen him lately?” she ribs. I know what she’s doing, but it pisses me off. “Guys even crush on Hayden Flynn, for fuck’s sake, Travis. Don’t tell me you haven’t thought—”
Moving quickly, I grab both her ankles and drag her to me. I blanket her body with mine and hold her arms over her head. “Shut up.”
“So, you’re jealous. Who cares?”
“You used to follow him around like a puppy, Sarah. Now you’re telling me you still think he’s hot.”
“He’s married to your sister. I hardly think I have a shot.”
Now she’s pissing me off. “You want a shot with him?” I ask, feeling my face get warm.
“Do you think he’d give me one? Maybe he’d entertain having us both for an evening. He used to be into that, ya know.”
“If you’re serious, things are about to go in a very different fuckin’ direction tonight.”
She smiles, trying to free her arms from my hold. “We’re even.”
“Even?”
“You pissed me off the night I came home and you led me to believe Ellie was here for different reasons. I haven’t said a word about it until now.”
I don’t like this game. Neither will she. “Rae’s fucking hot,” I snap, pushing myself off her and sitting back where I was before.
Her mouth hangs open and she’s speechless.
“Superhot. She has a nice body and a beautiful smile,” I add.
Sitting up in place, I see her mind working. She gets angrier and angrier with each second that passes. “That’s not the same!”
“The fuck it isn’t,” I claim.
Grabbing the remote in my hand, I start to flip the channels. I’m acting casual, and Sarah is anything but casual, no matter the circumstances.
“We’re so not even anymore,” she mumbles.
“Sure we are,” I tell her.
With a defeated posture and tone, Sarah stands, walks around me, and heads to the hall. “We aren’t, but we will be.”
Looking back at her, I watch as she undresses outside our bedroom door. “I’m sleeping without clothes. Until you apologize, no touching.”
“You’ll beg for it,” I say, shutting my eyes and turning around, still trying to play casual.
“Too bad. All you have to do is apologize and I’d suck your dick and let you come all over my ass this time.”
Hearing her crass language, I throw the remote down. She yelps as she darts to the room and shuts the door.
As if that, or anything else going forward, will keep me from her again.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Early July. . . .
Travis
“I’M NEVER GETTING married,” Sarah claims as she continues hanging streamers throughout the living room at Hayden’s dad’s beach house.
“Don’t say that. You will,” Lacey corrects her.
“Maybe. If I do it’ll be a quick one then. This is too fucking much.”
I’m standing in the kitchen listening to these chickens talk about the stupidest shit they can think of. We’ve spent four days decorating this place in a rush because Cathy and Brian have insisted they’d rather get married in early July versus late September.
Brian doesn’t do anything quick or small. Now, add the fact that he’s absolutely in love with Cathy and would give her anything she’d ever ask for, and we’re all rushing around like lunatics trying to make it happen.
I hear Rae ask, “Are we all staying here tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, think so,” Lacey tells her. “Hayden wants to drink and Bean’s old neighbor Mary is watching all the kids. Her daughter’s in from out of town and she said she’s not big into weddings, so she asked Hayden if it would be okay to take them all. Hayden, Toby, and Ace all said yes, but I guarantee Hayden will pick Liv up by midnight.”
Lacey’s right. Hayden won’t be able to stay away from Olivia overnight for any reason.
“I haven’t felt good the past month or so. I’m not sure if it’s because of my mother or not, but I haven’t felt the same since.”
“Cunt,” I hear Sarah utter and the others laugh.
I smile.
Ace comes around the corner and I put my finger to my mouth, telling him not to talk. He moves to stand beside me and grabs my second beer that was sitting on the counter waiting for me to drink it.
“Decklan asked if me if he could call Ace ‘Dad.’”
Ace looks over at me and grins. The adoption paperwork is pushing through and will be final soon. Hearing Decklan reference him like that makes him proud. I’m happy for him.
“Tell him yes! And I want to be Aunt Sarah. Tell him to stop calling me ‘squirt,’ damn it.”
“No one calls you that,” Marlee replies. “No one’s called you that for a while.”
“Ace does,” Sarah corrects. “Pisses me off, too.”
Ace smiles widely now. We’re eavesdropping, we both know it, but don’t care.
Next in comes Hayden. He’s dragging in boxes from the garage and making enough noise it causes the girls to stop talking. Ace and I both point to the living room and signal him to be quiet. He looks at us, puzzled for a second then realizes what we’re doing and grins.
“Are the guys set up outside?” Raegan asks.
“Yep. Toby’s out there finishing now,” Marlee answers.
“I can’t wait to hear Hayden sing,” Sarah’s states with enthusiasm.
I turn to glare hard at Hayden. Although he has no idea what for, he cowers a bit.
“I haven’t heard him sing in such a long time. I miss it. He’s dreamy when he’s holding that mic in his hand,” Rae adds.
Now it’s Ace’s face that gets hard.
“Jesus, I love Toby. Even in high school I knew Toby was it for me. But, sisters, there have been nights it’s been Hayden . . .”
Holy fuck!
Luckily she doesn’t finish her statement because Toby walks in. His tone sounds relaxed even after catching what Marlee was about to say. “You know the guys are in the kitchen listening, right?”
Asshole.
“Yep,” Rae says. “They aren’t quiet enough to eavesdrop.”
Coming out of the kitchen, I go first and the others follow. I walk to Sarah and she moves in to hug me, but I won’t let her.
“I’m not getting any love tonight, am I?” she asks, not caring who hears.
I don’t answer as Rae says petulantly, “Doubt I’ll get a night off.”
Ace grabs Rae and kisses her lips hard before pulling her head back. “Think of Hayden, don’t think of Hayden. I don’t care. It’s still me you’re riding.”
Sarah’s nose scrunches. “You’re gross! We were kidding! God!”
“Then shut the fuck up, squirt,” he returns and keeps Rae held tightly against him.
“Let’s get this shit done. I need to shower and change,” Hayden says to Lacey.
Lacey’s eyes light up with mischief. “Mary already has Liv. Wanna go home and make out ’til it’s time to be back?”
“Yep,” Hayden assures. “They all want me,” he says mockingly, looking at the other women in the room. “But you’ve got me for life.”
“Bitch,” Sarah mutters under her breath.
“Lucky bitch,” Rae snaps.
“You girls are going to get me fucking killed! Knock it off!” Hayden exclaims as he walks Lacey quickly to the door.
As the others laugh and follow them out, I hold Sarah still. “Do you want to stay here with the others tomorrow to
night? We can always go home.”
She turns in my arms to face me, but doesn’t answer my question. “I knew you were listening in there. I was kidding about Hayden.”
Leaning in and kissing her neck softly, I whisper quietly knowing even though we don’t have an audience. “Hayden isn’t a threat. I know this because Bean told me you were mine. I didn’t believe her then, but I do now.”
“She told you that?” she whispers her question.
“She told me I had her blessing.” Tears fill her eyes as I pull back to look into them. “You’re going to read her goodbye, Sarah. It’s time.”
“I know.”
“And I’ll be there when you do, if you want me.”
“I know.”
“I love you,” I tell her.
“I know,” she answers.
* * *
Sarah
God, I love Hayden’s voice.
The ceremony was brief. The vows were sweet. The kiss Brian gave Cathy when it was over was a little more than I’d ever hoped to see. Brian Flynn is hot, even being middle aged but I can only hope to soon forget his attempt to jam his tongue down Cathy’s throat; and never again remember his hands as they squeezed her ass while she struggled to break free. Hayden is definitely his father’s son.
“Everything’s ready at the beach whenever you all are,” Marlee, standing next to Toby, tells me as Hayden wraps up the song his father insisted he play.
Neil Diamond’s “Hello Again” was fitting for the newlyweds. Rae has been basking in happiness at hearing Hayden sing one of her all-time favorites.
“I’m ready. Where did Trav go?”
Marlee points her thumb over her shoulder and I see Ace and Travis standing next to the makeshift bar. They look to be engrossed in a deep discussion. Ace reaches over and man-hugs Travis before walking away.
“Ace wants you to read the letter,” Lacey says, coming in from behind Toby.
“I will.”
“No, honey. Tonight. He wants to be sure he’s around if you need him.”
“Dear God, they never stop! I didn’t bring it to a wedding with me, for fuck’s sake.”
“You didn’t have to,” she explains. “Ace stopped by Trav’s on the way over and grabbed it. I won’t mention what he found in the top drawer of your nightstand.”