by Anne Stone
She’d been holding his hand under the dinner table and felt the tension as he squeezed it harder than he intended. When she whimpered, he realized how tightly he was holding it and released it. Instead he placed his hand on her thigh. It didn’t matter if they were holding hands or not, she knew Jacques had hit a sore spot. She’d known he was still having issues with his hip, and he definitely didn’t like discussing it.
“It’s coming along, Dad.”
“What does that mean?”
“Just what I said. It’s a work in process.”
“What do the doctors say?” He remained quiet. “Ryne?”
“I haven’t told them.” He pushed his chair back from the table and with it removed his hand from her leg. “I have more good days than bad. I guess my hip’s just slower to recover this time. You know, I am getting older.”
She could tell by the look on Jacques’ face that he wasn’t happy with his son’s answer but knew not to press it further. Ryne had a little more than three months until training camp started. She hoped he’d get it under control by then.
That evening the boys played cards while the girls decided to watch a chick flick. As she watched the movie, she realized how easily she fit into his family. The thought took her breath away momentarily as she wished she’d have had this time with her mom. She would have loved Ryne and his family, most especially Jacklynne.
Their time sped by and each and every day she grew closer to everyone. On the Friday before they were scheduled to return home, the boys rode out to help their father with the cattle while Olivia and Emma went to see a movie. Jen and Jacklynne were alone in the house, and that’s when his mom suggested they sit on the back porch and enjoy the afternoon.
It was a pleasant day. The sun was out and the temperature was perfect. Jacklynne poured them both a glass of iced tea, and they watched the horses graze. She was a tad bit nervous, unsure what his mother wanted to discuss, but she also knew that their conversation would be nothing like the one Ryne had endured with her grandparents.
“I love this time of day. I often come out on the porch and either read or needlepoint. I use it as my down time before I have to worry about dinner or run the girls somewhere.”
“I can’t imagine what life was like carting the boys around for hockey practice and then adding games on top of it. You must have been going in all directions. And you did it all by yourself when Jacques was still playing.”
“I did and I loved every minute of it. Look at where my children are today. Four of the five boys are in the NHL with the fifth heading there in the coming years. The girls are doing well. I’m so proud of them.” She sighed. “I’ll admit it was hectic at times, but it meant everything to me to see my children as they advanced. I watched them go from barely able to stand on skates to launching a hundred-plus mile an hour slap shot. Have you seen Ryne’s shot?”
“I have. I have season tickets to the Generals’ games. My dad’s best friend is the owner.”
“Ed something, right?”
“Yeah, Ed Talent. He’s like a dad to me.”
“Speaking of parents, you haven’t told me their names or anything about them.”
Ta da…The question. She knew it was only a matter of time. She averted her eyes and swallowed deeply. She didn’t think she’d have such a problem telling her that her parents were dead and had been for eight long years. She’s been thinking of them a lot since learning of Annabelle’s death. But she was wrong. Tears swelled in her eyes. She tried to stop them but she couldn’t. One fell and then the next. She swiped at them but they wouldn’t stop falling. The next thing she was aware of, she was being pulled into his mother’s arms. “Honey, oh please, talk to me. What’s the matter?” She felt Jacklynne’s hand running up and down her back as she tried to soothe her, from what she didn’t know.
Finally, after a few minutes, the tears waned and Jen pulled away. “Jacklynne, my parents are both dead. They died the night of my high school graduation.”
“Oh no, honey. I’m so sorry.” Jacklynne pulled her back into her arms and held her then eased back and brushed the hair from Jen’s eyes. “Would you like to talk about it? It’s okay if you don’t.”
She took a few moments to calm herself and nodded. “It’s been eight years. They were on the way to my graduation and were involved in a car accident. I had gone ahead for pictures and wasn’t in the car with them.”
“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks,” she murmured. “I appreciate it. I’m an only child, and I have my grandparents. They’re the only family I have left living.”
“I’m sure you have friends and colleagues from school.”
“I do but it’s just not the same. My dad was a well-known photographer, and I was going to follow him into the business— take it over when he retired. That all changed when he died.”
“Surely you can’t walk away from that kind of passion. From what my son tells me, you have an eye. He’s amazed with your photographs. Since time has passed, do you think you might want to try again? Maybe take that chance on the career you gave up on?”
She reached for her glass and took a long swallow. “I’ve thought about it a lot lately. My boss has asked me and Ryne to head up the school fundraiser.”
“I heard about that.”
“Part of the fundraiser is a gallery showing of my work. He was insistent on me taking pictures of the Generals’ players and various other athletes in the area. He thinks we’ll raise a lot of money off my photographs.”
“Ryne believes you will. You need to have faith in yourself, your abilities. What’s it going to cost you? Did you ever think about taking a sabbatical from teaching? I’m sure your boss would hold open your position for you. If it didn’t work out, you could go back to teaching. It’s just a thought.”
“One I’ve been having a lot of lately. Except I wasn’t thinking about going down the sabbatical route. I was just going to quit. Open a studio and try to make a go of it. I have all of my dad’s contacts.”
“Honey, why don’t you give it a go?”
“Because I’m scared. Scared of failing.”
“If you’re as good as Ryne says, you won’t fail. You’ll shine.”
“Thank you for your support. I hope to make a decision after the fundraiser. I want Johnston, my boss, to have ample time to find a replacement. I’d finish out the school year, but I don’t want my quitting to be a burden on him. He’s been there for me, and I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“I don’t think you’ll be disappointing him. In fact, you’re doing him a favor by telling him early.”
“I realize that.”
“Jen, thank you.”
“For what?”
“For telling me about your parents. When Ryne said he was coming to visit and told me he was bringing you, I decided I wasn’t going to be the mother from hell. I wasn’t going to inundate you with questions. I wanted to get to know you in our own time and place. I’ve enjoyed your stay and I hope you’ll return—of course, with my son.”
“I’d like that too.” She was pulled into a loving embrace.
“No matter what happens with you and my son, I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you. Call me anytime.”
“Thank you. I appreciate your saying that.” Before she could add to her comments, they heard the boys. Etienne was jabbering at Ryne about something. She watched as his mother took in her sons. She saw the love splashed across her face. Jacklynne was a remarkable woman, and Jen appreciated how she opened her arms and took her into her family. She hoped that she’d stay there and one day become a part of it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Saturday morning they went for a ride. She hadn’t been on horseback in years and wasn’t looking forward to the soreness, but she wanted to see the parts of the ranch she hadn’t had the chance to explore.
They saddled up and headed out after breakfast. Ryne expertly maneuvered them along the trails. She’d brought h
er camera and clicked away as they rode through the tall grasses and flowers. In the distance, she was able to frame a cow standing amidst the grasses that were swaying in the gentle breeze. She took frame after frame as they rode along.
They came upon a copse of trees and saw a hawk hanging precariously from one of its upper branches. She zoomed in and caught what appeared to be a mouse clasped in its beak. Clicking away, she caught the eye of the bird as though it were looking directly at her through the lens of the camera.
The sky was bluer than blue with cirrocumulus clouds swirling above. She knew the clouds alone would greatly impact the depth of her shots. Ryne stopped and she clicked a picture of his back, tall grasses surrounded him and his horse with the blue skies above, adding to the element of the photo. She thought she’d title it: A cowboy making the rounds.
They rode for almost an hour before he stopped at a nearby stream. He jumped off his horse and helped her down. “I think the horses need a break.” He led them to the stream so they could drink the cool waters.
She made her way to a large rock that sat along the bank. She eased herself down as her muscles began to stiffen up. “Sore?”
“A little. It’s been a long time since I’ve ridden.”
“When we get back, I’ll fix you up. My mom’s got some ointment you can apply.” He joined her on the rock and stretched his arm behind her. “Lean on my arm.” She leaned against him as they watched the water swirl around the larger stones in the stream.
“It’s an absolutely gorgeous day out here. I hate to go home tomorrow.”
“I know, but you need to get back, and I have to ramp up my training.”
“Speaking of training, and please be honest with me, how is your hip? I’ve noticed you flinch on occasion, and I can’t believe riding a horse is helping much.”
“Actually, it’s improved since we’ve been here. Don’t ask me why, but it has.” He leaned over her shoulder, looking her in the eyes, “I promise to have it checked out if it keeps acting up. I don’t want to lose my career over something stupid like this.”
“You took a hard hit. It wasn’t a stupid injury.”
“Yeah, well I probably could have prevented it somehow.” He kissed her cheek and moved. He straddled her from behind so she could lean against his chest. “Better?”
“Much.”
She seemed relaxed as he ran his hand up and down her arm trying to find the words that he wanted to say. He’d thought about her career often since they’d been traveling and believed now was the time to discuss it. “Did you get many photos today? I heard you clicking away.”
“I got a few. Actually, some good ones, I think.”
“I’ll have to bring you out here during the winter. If you think it’s beautiful now, wait until you see the ranch covered in snow.”
“Maybe one day I’ll see it.”
“Not maybe, I’m sure you will.” He pulled her closer and nuzzled her cheek. “Honey, you know how much I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Then please listen to what I have to say, okay? Don’t judge me. I want you to know that I’m looking out for your best interests.”
She tentatively uttered, “Okay.”
He wasn’t sure where to begin so he stated the obvious. “What I’ve noticed is the smile on your face, the gleam of your eyes, and the sense of calm you exude when you have your camera in hand. You’re happy, at peace. You’re in a world all of your own, in a zone where no one and nothing seems to bother you. You’re at your happiest.” She nodded as she listened.
“Then, when I see you at school, you’re tense, unsettled. You don’t seem to smile, and when you do it doesn’t show through to your eyes. You seem unhappy— like you’re just going through the motions to make it through the day. I know you’re one hell of a teacher, but in all honesty, I don’t think you’re happy teaching. I know you love the children, but where I see you the happiest is behind the lens of a camera. I’ve seen such a change in you in the little time I’ve known you. I think you should consider returning full time to photography. Open that studio and reclaim the dreams you had before your dad died. I believe it’s where your heart is.”
The entire time he spoke she never said a word. He wasn’t sure if she was still listening. He leaned up and noticed the stream of tears falling from her eyes.
“Hey, I didn’t mean for you to cry. I just wanted you to know what I saw. I want you happy and not sad. So please stop crying.”
She turned in his arms and placed her hands on either side of his face. Smiling at him through her tears, she told him what she’d been contemplating.
“Did you speak with your mom?”
“No, why? Should I have?”
“No, forget about it.” She brushed aside her tears, “You know me too well. I’ve been having those same thoughts of late myself. Since Johnston asked me to have a showing, I’ve felt renewed and more at peace. I can’t deny that I’ve had my days, more so of late, thinking about my parents, what my life may have looked like if they hadn’t died. Then, I contemplate what my future could be. You? Your family? Photography? My life seems more enriched with you in it. I love your family; they’ve made me feel so at home— like I’m already one of them. And, yes, photography has been a big part of my life— a life I don’t know how I lived without for so long.
“I’ve decided to see how the gallery showing goes. If I do well and my photographs are accepted, then I’ve decided that I’m going to take that chance. I’m going to resign my position at Lakeview at the end of the school year and open a studio.”
“Oh honey, that’s fabulous news. I’m so proud of you.” He leaned in and kissed her. “Now, one more thing.”
“What’s that,” she said dejectedly.
“I think you should add sports photography to your arsenal. The images you’ve taken of the players on the ice are remarkable. I still can’t get over the picture of Derrick and the ice spraying up all around him. That’ll catch a huge price, I’m sure of it.”
“Glad you liked it.”
“No, seriously, you need to think about it. Whatever you decide, I’ll support you one hundred and ten percent. You’ve got the talent, now all you need to do is showcase it.”
He felt her relax. She rested her head against his chest as they sat watching the stream flow in front of them. In the distance they heard the mooing of the cattle and the whinnying of their horses. Life was good and he was ever thankful that he got through that conversation. He hadn’t been sure how she’d take his remarks and instead was pleasantly surprised. He wasn’t sure what to make of the comment she made about his mother. He made a mental note to speak with her when they returned to the house.
When his stomach began to rumble, he noticed the time. “Hungry?”
“I am.”
“Let’s head back. I’m starved.” He slid off the rock and reached for her. Hand-in-hand they returned to the horses and in what seemed a much shorter trip, reached home. Jacklynne met them on the porch.
“I’ve been waiting on you to serve lunch.”
“Sorry about that,” Jen shyly said. “Ryne was showing me the parts of the ranch I hadn’t seen yet. It’s so beautiful out there. I can see where one could easily get lost in thought.”
“Is that what happened?” She chuckled.
“In fact, it is, Mother.” He watched as Jen hobbled into the house. “She’s definitely going to be sore.”
“I’ll fix her up.”
“I’m sure you will. Hey, Mom, I need to ask you a question.”
“Sure, Son.”
“Have you and Jen had a chat since she’s been here?”
“We did. She told me about her parents. Poor dear, my heart went out to her. She was so young to have gone through that.”
“Did you discuss anything else?” He watched as she contemplated his question. “Mom?”
“In fact, we did. We discussed her career. She told me what she’d given up, and I encouraged h
er to reclaim her dream. Something wrong with that?”
“No.” He ran his hand across his jaw. “That’s why we were running late. I was talking to her about the same thing, more or less.”
“What did she say?”
“If the showing goes well, she’s going to give it a shot.” Sighing he said, “I’m glad she made that decision without my influence. I’ve wanted to talk to her about her career for weeks. I was waiting for the right time.”
His mother approached, placing her hand on his forearm. “Honey, what did you see?”
“As soon as she picked up her camera, I saw a happy Jen. I told her how happy she seems with her camera in hand. She’s more relaxed and comfortable with everything. I’ve seen her in the classroom and she’s tense and doesn’t smile. Like she doesn’t want to be there and doesn’t know how to leave. I realize she needed to take the time and grieve her parents. The memories may have been too close to her, and she probably did need to distance herself from it for a while, but now I see she needs it to survive. I feel she was living just to live. She wasn’t enjoying her life. I’ve seen a huge difference in her since we came here. With camera in hand, she seems alive, and that’s where I want her to be. Happy and loving life.”
“Could you possibly be a part of why she’s happy now?”
“Maybe, I don’t know.” He paused and smirked at his mother. “What I do know is I love her with every breath I take. I want to see her happy, and I’m going to do everything in my power to ensure that she is.” His mom leaned in and kissed his cheek.
“Come on, everyone’s waiting to eat.”
He walked beside his mother and realized how lucky he was to have her in his life. She’d quickly recognized Jen’s unhappiness, as that’s what he liked to call it, and spoke to her about it. Just as a mother would. He was ever-thankful that their stay had gone as well as it had.
After they ate, Jacklynne checked on Jen who had gone to lie down for a bit. She knocked on her bedroom door and heard a whisper of a response. She cracked open the door and found her sprawled across the bed. “How are you honey?”