by Anne Stone
“I wanted to go. Your mom made the holidays sound so magical on the ranch. Plus, you never get to spend Christmas with everyone. I’m happy you asked me to join you, I really am. In all honesty, Christmas is really just another day on the calendar. What does it matter if I spent the twenty third or the twenty-fifth with my grandparents? I still spent time quality time with them celebrating the holiday.”
“You’re sure?”
“I am.” She leaned over and kissed him. “You are who I really want to be with. It’s our first Christmas together and I want to enjoy every minute of it.”
“Me too.”
They had left St. Louis where it was a mild, overcast day and the temperature was expected to hover around freezing. Calgary was the polar opposite. It was a cloudless day but also a winter wonderland. The day before, the area had encountered heavy snows that still weighed down the trees. By the time Ryne secured their rental car, the streets had been cleared and their drive was smooth sailing. That is, until they reached the road to the ranch.
Ryne couldn’t believe his eyes when he discovered it hadn’t been plowed yet. He wondered what was up with that since his dad was always on top of keeping the roads on the ranch snow free. Not wanting to take the chance of getting stuck, he pulled onto the shoulder and was about to phone his dad when they heard a loud noise. There sat his dad inside the tractor cab, pushing the plow. It wasn’t a normal-sized tractor. No, it was a huge farm implement that stood well above their SUV.
Ryne backed up and out of the way as his dad bustled through the end of the lane and onto the highway.
“I don’t think he saw us. Look, he’s coming to check to see if we’re okay.”
Jacques approached. Ryne knew the moment his father recognized him because a huge smile filled his face. Ryne jumped from the car and threw his arms around his dad.
“Son, I didn’t know you were coming today.”
“It was supposed to be a surprise.”
“It certainly was, especially when I realized I almost ran the tractor into your car. You were obstructed by the trees laden with snow.” He turned to Jen with a huge smile. “My dear, it’s so good to see you again. Jacklynne is going to be speechless when she sees you.”
“I don’t know about speechless, Dad. I’ve never seen Mom unable to put a sentence together.”
“That’s true but I know she will definitely be elated you’re here. This is going to be the best Christmas ever. All of my children and you, Jen here at one time to celebrate.”
He motioned towards the road. “Follow me. I need to plow out the path one more time.”
Jacques jumped up into the cab of the tractor and started his slow plow back up the drive. “Mom is going to be speechless, I’m sure of that.”
“This I’ve got to see.”
Ryne followed his dad at a safe distance, and after what seemed an eternity, they pulled up at the house. Jacques continued to the shed where he stored the tractor. “I’ll get our suitcases a little later. I want to surprise Mom before Dad has the chance to tell her we’re here.”
“Would he do that?”
“My dad can’t contain a secret for more than two seconds. Hurry, let’s get to the house before he does.” They scurried to the door.
Ryne and Jen walked hand in hand into the house without knocking. They came in through the mud room and removed their boots. Jen lost her balance and started to giggle when Ryne put his finger to her lips whispering, “Shh.”
Jacklynne’s back was to them as she stood at the sink, washing dishes. The radio blared Christmas songs and she sang along with the melodious tunes. Luck was on their side; she hadn’t heard Jen’s giggle.
In their stocking feet, they crept soundlessly toward her. Jen stood back as he approached his mom from behind. “Jacques, honey, did you get us plowed out?” She continued washing dishes.
Ryne leaned his head in and tapped her on the shoulder. “Hey there, Mom.”
She jumped at the sound of his voice. Spinning around, she practically knocked him onto the floor. “Ryne,” she yelled. She threw herself into his arms. “Honey, where did you come from?” She kissed him soundly on the cheek and then noticed Jen standing off to the side. “Jennifer,” she cried and ran to her. “Honey, come here and let me give you a proper welcome.”
Before Jen knew what hit her, she was encased in her arms. If he wasn’t mistaken, he saw tears in Jen’s eyes. His mother’s welcome meant the world to her, he just knew it. Even though she said she wasn’t nervous returning to the ranch, he was almost assured that she was. He could tell by the way she wrung her hands on the plane and in the car as they drove.
“Ryne, dear, why didn’t you tell me you were coming in early?”
“I wanted it to be a surprise, and by the way you reacted, I think it was.”
“Come, sit, tell me what’s going on in your lives since I last saw you?” He knew what his mother was inkling for, and he wasn’t going to give it to her. In time. Give me a few more days.
“Not much since I last saw you,” Jen commented. “I’ve decided to tell my boss that I’m leaving after the holidays. It just didn’t feel right before, and in all actuality, he doesn’t need to know until contracts are being negotiated.”
“Most people would wait, so you’re definitely doing the honorable thing here. I bet you’re getting excited. Have you found a space for your studio?”
She told her about her father’s building. “I’m lucky I held onto it. It shouldn’t take me long to get it up and running. I need to freshen it up a bit and purchase some equipment. I haven’t been in the studio since I closed it up eight years ago. It will be difficult at first, knowing my dad’s not going to walk in the door.” Ryne reached for her hand, offering her support. “But it’s something I need to do. I can’t tell you how much better I feel since I made this decision. I pray I can make a go of it.”
“Dear, I don’t see how you can’t. Look at the showing you had.”
“Yeah, but everyone knew me, and it was a fundraiser.”
“Pfst. I don’t believe that for a minute. You have talent. Don’t worry, you’ll do well.”
“I’m trying to convince her to get into sports photography. I think she’s perfect for it.”
“Oh honey, I agree with you.” Looking back to Jen, “You need to take your time and do what you are comfortable with. In time you can expand.” She patted her hand. “Can I get you both something to eat or drink? How about a cup of coffee or hot chocolate?”
“Mom, you know what I prefer.”
Smiling at Jacklynne, Jen said, “I’ll have what he’s having.”
“Two hot chocolates with whipped cream and sprinkles coming right up.”
“Sprinkles?”
“They’re the only way to go.”
It was Christmas Eve and the house was almost filled. Philippe and Etienne played an early afternoon game in Minnesota and their plane was scheduled to arrive around ten. In plenty of time for the entire house to attend midnight mass.
That morning Jen and Jacklynne, along with Emma and Olivia, made cookies for Santa Claus. Jacklynne wasn’t convinced that Emma still believed in the fictional character but made the most of it just in case. She still gave all of her children presents from Santa even though Philippe was almost thirty. It kept the spirit alive, and she didn’t care if the boys were old enough to have children themselves. It made her feel giddy with excitement, and more so with all of her children present this year.
Ryne was getting antsy. He’d paced back and forth so many times he lost count. He wanted, no needed, to talk to her now, right now. He’d made plans and he definitely hadn’t expected his mother to have a cookie brigade on her agenda. He’d waited for this day for what seemed like an eternity. He wasn’t happy that lunch wasn’t served until after one-thirty and took longer than normal. He grew anxious listening to his mother go on and on about the cookies they still had left to bake.
It was already later than he expected and
he needed to get Jen alone, so right after lunch he grabbed their coats and hats. He found her in the kitchen helping put the finishing touches on the sugar cookies. Practically running into the room, he called, “Come on, let’s get out of here.”
A look of surprise crossed her face. “Ryne, I’m helping your mom.”
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand, and threw her coat and hat at her. “You’ve been baking all day. I promised I’d show you the ranch after a snowfall, and now is the best time.”
“We’ll be here a few more days. Can’t it wait?” Her eyes grew larger as he hurried her towards the door.
“No, it can’t.” He stormed out the door as she stopped to put on her coat. Jen glanced back at Jacklynne and his sisters, unsure what set him off.
“Something certainly has him in a tizzy. Go on, Jen we’re almost done here. There are just a few more cookies that need icing. I’m curious to see what has got my son so upset.” As Jen put her coat on, Jacklynne grabbed a bag and threw some cookies into it. “Maybe this’ll help.”
“Thanks.” Jen reached for the bag and shook her head in disgust. “I have no idea what his problem is. He went from zero to one hundred. I guess I’ll see you all later. Wish me well.”
Jacklynne smirked at her as she headed out the door. He’d been in a lousy mood from the moment they decided to bake cookies. Jen could only wonder what his little tirade was about. She hoped their little walk would settle him down as she didn’t want him ruining their day. After all, it was Christmas Eve.
She discovered Ryne waiting for her beside the snowmobile. The sun was shining brightly and there was a little chill in the air, but it wasn’t too bad. She zipped up her coat and pulled on her hat, covering her ears. She hated when her ears got cold. Then she remembered the ear muffs she’d tucked inside the pocket of her coat. Pulling them out, she set them over her hat so her ears would have extra protection.
She took her time as she strolled over to where he stood. She knew he wasn’t happy, but she hadn’t a clue why. In fact, she’d barely seen him all day as she’d been in the kitchen since breakfast baking. The entire time she rolled out the dough, she thought of her mom and the times they made Christmas cookies. It was an annual affair and she missed it— really missed it. She hadn’t made holiday cookies since her mom died, and she realized how ecstatic she was that Jacklynne waited to include her. She’d been in a really good mood—that was, until Ryne stormed in and ruined it for her.
“What is wrong with you?” she asked as she stormed over.
“Nothing, why?”
Hands on hips, she said, “I can’t believe you treated me like you just did, especially in front of your mom and sisters.”
“What did I do?” He was oblivious to how he’d acted. It was Christmas Eve and she decided not to press him. Whatever was on his mind was important to him, so she’d listen and then react. She wanted to enjoy the day and not end up in a fight. In that moment she decided to take the high road and hopefully not regret it.
He reached for her as he sat down. Wrapping her arms around him she leaned in close. “This better be good since I was having a good time with your family.” She held off handing over the cookies. Instead, she tucked them into her pocket where she hoped they wouldn’t get crushed. She decided she could possibly bribe him, if needed.
He revved up the motor. “Hang on!” And with that he started off in the direction of the pond. The sun was beginning to dip on the horizon. She assumed they had about another hour’s worth of light. She hoped whatever he had on his mind, he’d get it over with, because she wasn’t fond of being on the snowmobile when it got dark.
He stopped right at the edge of the frozen pond, stepped off the snowmobile and reached for her hand. He steadied her as she flung her leg over the edge and lost her balance in the deep snow. “Urrghh, I can’t believe you interrupted my fun and brought me out here.” She stomped her feet trying to get the snow off that had accumulated when she stumbled. When she got control of herself, she noticed his back was to her. He seemed out of sorts, tense, and for what she wasn’t sure.
She was clueless as to why he insisted they come out here. But she remembered her pledge to herself to take the high road and reached for his hand. With a half-smile, he looked her in the eyes. “Will you forgive me?” He leaned in and swept aside the hair that had become plastered against her cheek from her hat and muffler. “I patiently waited for you for what seemed like hours while you baked cookies. I couldn’t wait any longer, listening to you laugh and talk about whatever you were rambling on and on about.”
She smiled up at him. “We were talking about Christmas.”
“Oh. Whatever. I needed to be with you, today, right now.”
“Why, what’s so important that it couldn’t keep?”
He grabbed her hand and led her onto the ice.
“Ryne, I’m not too sure about this.” Pointing to the ice, she said, “It doesn’t look too safe.”
“We’re fine. This pond’s been frozen over for weeks.” Earlier in the day while she’d been baking, he came out with the tractor and plowed the snow from the ice. He had a special purpose for that along with the fact he and his siblings could play a game of pick-up hockey the following day. Just like we used to do.
He needed to talk to her and wanted it to be right here. Somewhere they’d always remember. “So, I’ve been thinking.”
“About what?”
“My future.”
“What about it?”
“You know that I spoke with Adam about my contract over the summer.”
“Yeah.”
“I still have a year left.”
“I remember.”
“After that hit I took in the game against Et and Phil, I’ve been wondering how long I’ll be able to play at this level.”
“Are you injured again? Why didn’t you tell me?” She got all concerned.
“Sweetheart, I’m fine.” He pulled her closer. “Please listen to what I have to say, okay?” She nodded her head and rested it against his chest. “My goal in life has always been to play for the Storm. When I went down onto the ice and lay there, I realized that my time is waning. What if I get seriously injured and can’t play for Calgary? That’s all that’s been on my mind since that night.”
“Why did you wait so long to share this with me?”
“Because, if I play for my hometown team, that means I have to relocate again. I’ll be leaving St. Louis and returning home.”
“I see.” She remained locked in his embrace as he spoke.
“Jen, I love you and I don’t want to be without you in my life. I wanted to talk to you about my dreams. Now that you are leaving teaching, you won’t have to remain in St. Louis tied to a job.”
“But my photography.”
“Can’t you do that anywhere?”
“Sure, I can, but St. Louis is where I have all of my contacts, my studio.”
“Do you really have to live there to keep those relationships alive? You can build new ones. I’m sure you could find a location for a studio here in town. You have a website. Everything you produce can be uploaded there. It’s not like you don’t have alternative ways to sell your photographs; you do.”
“But my grandparents?”
He pulled away from her setting his hands on her shoulders. Looking her directly in the eyes, “You don’t see Ro and Miles that often.”
She was honest. “No, I don’t.”
“So what’s the difference? Today, you can Skype, talk long distance without complications. Your relationship with Rose and Wilford would be the same as what you already have with Ro and Miles. So what’s the problem? Why couldn’t you move?”
“I’m not going to upend my life just because.” She pulled away and turned her back to him. “I know you have your dreams. I realize that you could be one injury away from ending your career. I get that, but why do I have to give up my life, my family, why?
She felt his hand again on her shoulder. He
turned her towards him. “Because you love me.”
“I do love you but why should I just leave my life? I’m just starting to get my career back on track. What is here that isn’t there?”
“Me.”
“And what if you don’t wind up playing for the Storm, huh?”
“Then, I won’t relocate. I’ll stay in St. Louis.”
“You make it sound so easy. Even I know that it’s not.”
“I know the general manager quite well. His name is Anthony Theophilos. He’s known that I’ve wanted to play for the Storm since I was a little tyke. I’ve decided to contact him and see if he might have an interest in me.”
“Do you think he does?”
“He’d love to have all three of us playing together. Who wouldn’t want three brothers playing for the same team?”
“You can’t be so sure.” She sighed. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Everything is going so well. I’m happy, I thought you were happy.”
“I am happy.”
“Then why are you trying to change everything. Why?” She was confused.
He turned away from her and began to pace across the ice. He was going about this wrong. He’d played this conversation over and over again in his head, and it definitely hadn’t gone like this. Where had he gone wrong?
“I’ve handled this so wrong,” he muttered to himself.
“What was that?”
He shook his head not knowing what to say or do. How can I fix this? Think, think.
“Ryne, I don’t want to argue with you. I wanted this to be a magical Christmas, and it has up until this moment. I love your mom and dad, and I’ve really gotten to know Olivia and Emma. I feel like they’re family to me. Today when I was rolling out the cookie dough, I thought of my mom. I haven’t made Christmas cookies since she died. Being here with Jacklynne has brought back so many memories of baking with my mom. It made my heart feel happy, remembering. Please, I don’t want to fight. I want to remember this trip as a happy time for you, me, and your family.”
That was his lead in. He approached her. “I’ve handled this all wrong.” With that he got down on bended knee. Her eyes grew wide, her hands began to tremble. “Jen, you are the light of my life. I think I’ve loved you from the moment you ran me down.”