by Sue MacKay
‘Morning, Abigail. Late again, I see.’ Kieran strode alongside her as she dashed down the corridor towards the department. His tone dampened her pleasure at seeing him.
‘Only by five minutes.’ At least she had a good excuse. ‘Olivia tipped a bowl of porridge over herself and we had to start dressing all over again.’ But, of course, he wouldn’t know what that was like.
‘Olivia must’ve looked a sight.’ Kieran gave her a brief smile. ‘But you must allow time for these things. It’s not fair on your colleagues if you keep arriving late after the shift handover is under way.’
‘Keep arriving late? I don’t make a habit of it.’
‘Twice last week.’
Who’s counting? ‘You really don’t get it, do you? Kids aren’t that easy to organise.’ How dared Kieran criticise her? She drew a breath. She hadn’t finished. ‘While you’re at it, tell me where I’m supposed to find any extra time in the mornings. I’m already up by six, running around like a demented chook trying to get the house in order before my children strike.’
Kieran stared at her, amazed. ‘Whoa, I only suggested you might try to be more punctual. Careful.’ He grabbed her elbow and tugged her to one side as an orderly negotiated a bed past them. ‘It’s probably only a case of organising everything better.’
She jerked her arm free. The temptation to strangle him was huge. Had he not learned anything about raising children yet? Could he not try to understand how it was for her? ‘Organised? Sure, buddy, from now on I’ll get up at five, do the vacuuming, make the beds before Olivia and Seamus get out of them, prepare breakfast, hang out the washing in the dark, have my shower and put on make-up and immaculate clothes, and finally drive to work with two beautifully behaved children, beating the rush-hour traffic to arrive in the department all smiles and looking very serene.’
She sank back against the wall. What had got into her? Her tongue was like a runaway roadster. It wasn’t Kieran’s fault she’d spent the weekend checking the gate to see if he might have turned up. She’d behaved worse than Olivia. Had he stayed away because of her stupid mistake of calling him Daddy on Friday night?
‘Buddy?’ Kieran stared at her as though she’d gone stark, raving mad. ‘Abigail, is something wrong? I’ve obviously upset you.’
‘Upset me?’ Totally. Not because of his criticism but because he was never out of her head, keeping her awake hours after she went to bed every night. ‘No, not at all. I’ve got a touch of Monday-itis.’
She spun around and headed for the nurses’ station, Kieran keeping pace with her, thankfully staying quiet.
‘Abby, don’t think you can ease your way in today. It’s crazy around here already.’ Sally added to her mounting stress. ‘Kieran, cubicle three, please.’
Kieran reached for the file in Sally’s hand. ‘What have we got?’
‘A twenty-five-year-old woman with an aching leg.’
‘Abigail, come with me.’
Grrr. Abby wanted to go home and start again. To put on her best smile and pretend she was coping with Kieran reappearing in her life.
Reluctantly she followed him. He paused outside the cubicle, and his wary smile caught at her, undermining her bad mood. ‘I apologise if I sound uncaring. I’m not. Guess this shows I don’t know anything about parenting.’
She softened her tone. ‘There’s only one way to learn. It’s called the hands-on approach.’ A family could be a tie, and it hurt to know Kieran didn’t want that.
‘I know, and I should’ve visited over the weekend but I was busy.’
Sure, partying, socialising. Steph had told her he’d accepted her invitation to that party she’d mentioned. ‘No rest for the wicked, eh?’ Face it, Kieran could be very wicked. In the nicest, sexiest possible way, her brain mocked her.
A burly young man stood by the bed in the cubicle, his arm around the shoulders of a distressed woman. The obvious worry darkening his eyes made Abby take stock and push those distracting images of Kieran away. But she wished she had someone special to care for her as intensely. And she wasn’t meaning her father or sisters.
Neither did she mean Kieran.
She was never going to get that close to the man. Or any other man, remember? Remember? Yes, she did. So why was she suddenly having all these odd feelings of missing out on something really important?
The young man said, ‘It’s Jane’s right leg. She says it’s agony to stand on. We can’t get her jeans off, it’s swollen so much.’
‘Hello, Jane. I’m Dr Flynn and this is Nurse Brown. I am going to have to remove your jeans to examine your leg. We might have to use scissors.’
‘I’ll try pulling them off again.’ Jane grimaced, but removing the jeans proved too painful.
‘I guess there’s no choice.’ Abby went in search of scissors.
‘I’ve only just bought these jeans,’ Jane muttered when she returned.
Abby smiled in sympathy. ‘They’re gorgeous.’ Designer ones, the sort that Abby could never squeeze herself into. ‘I bet you didn’t get them here.’
‘I bought them in Switzerland two weeks ago.’
Kieran’s eyebrows rose fractionally. ‘What were you doing there?’
‘Skiing. Ahh …’ The girl sucked a breath as the denim fell away, removing the pressure on the swelling.
‘Any accidents or falls? You didn’t twist your knee at any time?’ Kieran queried as he examined the inflamed leg.
Jane shook her head. ‘No, nothing like that.’
‘When did you get back to New Zealand? Did you come straight through?’ Abby asked, wondering if this could be a case of deep vein thrombosis. She looked up to find Kieran watching her. He nodded imperceptibly, as though to say she was on the right track.
‘Two days ago. It’s a long haul from Zurich, through Frankfurt, Hong Kong, Auckland. My body clock’s only just catching up. I keep wanting to go to bed in the middle of the day.’ Jane smiled for the first time. ‘Not a good look when I’m supposed to be organising kayaking trips for tourists.’
‘I’ll bet.’ Kieran smiled his big, calming smile.
That smile might not have had much effect on Jane, but it sent Abby’s heart rate soaring. Fickle heart. She wasn’t supposed to notice anything about Kieran other than his medical skills.
Next he asked, ‘Any history of thrombosis in your family? Have you had a clot in the past?’
Tears welled in Jane’s eyes. ‘I wondered about that. I don’t know of anyone having had clots but I’d have to ask Mum.’
Kieran said, ‘Are you on an oral contraceptive?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you take any aspirin before or during the flight?’
Jane shook her head. ‘Will I be all right? People die of clots.’
‘You’ve done the right thing coming in here.’ Abby folded the now useless jeans.
Kieran explained what would happen next. ‘I’ll arrange an ultrasound scan of your veins. If that doesn’t show up a clot, we’ll X-ray the knee to see if you did some damage while skiing.’
Jane’s lip trembled as she asked, ‘Will I be all right? I mean, if it’s a clot, what if it moves?’
Kieran reassured her. ‘I’ll give you blood-thinning drugs to slow any further clots forming, and we’ll put that leg in elastic hose. Then we wait.’
Back at the station Kieran filled Sally in on what he required, before turning to Abby. ‘You were on to the idea of DVT straight away, weren’t you? That’s why you asked about those jeans.’
Abby shrugged. ‘They’re such an unusual style I didn’t think they came from around here.’
‘You were really good with Jane.’ Another of those beguiling smiles lifted the corner of his mouth.
Trying to get back on side with her? Warmth trickled through her, banishing all traces of her earlier mood. If he could try, so could she. ‘I do listen to everything a patient says, not just their comments about aches or pains.’
‘You have an analytical mind when y
ou’re dealing with patients. Ever consider studying medicine? You’d be a brilliant doctor.’
Bam. The warmth evaporated. As quickly as it had come. She reached for the next patient file. ‘It crossed my mind once, but nursing suits me better.’ Glancing at the notes in her hand, she said, ‘Looks like we’ve got a broken arm in cubicle one.’
Kieran stepped in front of her. ‘Why?’
She deliberately squinted at the handwriting on the page. ‘Looks like Mrs Webb fell down her back steps.’
‘No, why nursing and not doctoring? And don’t tell me it’s because of the children. Olivia became your ward long after you’d finished your training.’
Abby looked around for Sally, for help. But Sally was on the phone. ‘Mrs Webb’s waiting.’
‘You did look into it, didn’t you?’ Kieran asked softly. ‘What changed your mind?’
‘Okay, truth? I started med school but gave it up to come home to look after Mum when she got cancer.’
‘You didn’t think of going back?’ His hand touched her arm briefly.
‘I’d enrolled in the local school of nursing while Mum was sick.’ She blinked away a tear. ‘When she died I had one year left to qualify as a nurse. It didn’t make sense not to complete that degree. I always thought I’d go back to med school but first I wanted a couple of years away from studying and to save a bit of money.’
And then Phillip happened. If she hadn’t fallen in love with that scumbag she’d have been close to being a qualified doctor now. But he’d been her big mistake, and she’d lived with the consequences ever since. She’d also learned her lesson. Don’t trust charming playboys. Ever.
‘You’d have made a very good doctor.’ Kieran’s knuckle brushed her cheek so lightly it was as though she’d imagined it. ‘You’re also a very good mum.’
Stunned, she stared at him. She’d just spent most of the morning letting him know how angry and frustrated she felt about everything, and here he was building her up to feel better about herself. He was good, no doubt about it. Which only underlined how careful she had to be with him.
Sally hung up and turned to them. ‘While I’ve got you both, most of the staff is going to the pub after work tonight. It’s also a welcome for you, Kieran, if you can make it.’
‘Sounds good.’ Kieran flicked a question at Abby. ‘You coming?’
‘Count me out.’
‘Why? You’re a part of the team. You should be there. The evening isn’t just about me. It’s about colleagues relaxing together.’
She raised an eyebrow at him. ‘There’s the small matter of two children.’
‘Get someone to sit with them for a couple of hours. It won’t hurt them.’
‘Sure.’ She snapped her fingers. ‘Just like that, get a babysitter in.’ Her cheeks reddened. ‘I’m a parent, Kieran. That means I go home at the end of my shift and give baths, make dinner, read stories. Children are a full-time job.’
‘Believe it or not, I’m beginning to learn that.’ He reached across and tapped the back of her hand with his finger. A lot of little touches this morning. What did they mean? Was he trying to get past her bad mood? ‘I haven’t been the best uncle in the world, but I’m working on it.’
She slowly withdrew her hand and shoved it deep into her pocket, away from the tingling generated by his touch. ‘I know you need time.’ But he was only talking about being an uncle, no mention of his role as a father. Her heart dropped, the tingling stopped. ‘And Seamus? Are you working on what you’re going to do about him?’
He met her gaze full on. No winsome smile now. Just a weary shrug. ‘I’m getting there. In the meantime I’m trying to help you in ways that you haven’t considered. Starting with tonight and drinks at the pub. Look how wound up you are this morning. A little bit of fun would be good for you.’
He was right. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone out with her colleagues for an hour or two. It wasn’t normal for a single girl of twenty-nine to be staying at home all the time. But until now that had never bothered her as much as it seemed to today.
She gave him a tired smile. ‘Forget it. I have to go home at the end of my shift. You go and enjoy yourself. Everyone will make sure you have a wonderful time.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
ABBY still couldn’t believe that Charlie was ensconced in the cottage, looking after the children. Charlie didn’t do kids. Not hands on, getting smudged with mashed vegetables. Abby chuckled.
‘What’s funny?’ Kieran slid another glass of wine in front of her and sat down beside her. Close beside her. Too close, yet not close enough.
‘The thought of Charlie in her designer suit down on her knees, washing those two scallywags.’
Kieran’s eyes glittered, fine crinkles bunching at their corners. ‘Shame on you when she’s helping out.’
Now, that was a surprise. ‘What did you promise her? It must have been something big and expensive.’
‘A little charm goes a long way.’
A knot formed in Abby’s stomach. He had truckloads of charm. Look where it had got her. The lilting voice that melted her bones. His warm smile filled with promise. She hadn’t been able to resist him. If she wasn’t careful, she might find she still couldn’t.
‘Thank you, whatever it cost.’ She could get used to someone taking charge of her life. Someone like Kieran.
‘Let’s take these next door and have dinner.’ Kieran tapped the side of his beer bottle to her glass. He referred to the restaurant attached to the pub.
‘Charlie won’t be able hold out that long.’
‘Actually, she said to stay out as late as we liked. If you’d prefer it, we could drive down to the waterfront and choose a restaurant.’
‘Next door is fine.’ Sounded like they were on a date. But, of course, they weren’t. Abby looked around at her work colleagues. All three of them. When had the others left?
‘You want to know something? Charlie was ecstatic when I rang. She told me you never ask for help, that you’re always doing things for her and Steph and never letting them do something in return. Why’s that?’
Abby sipped her chardonnay, thinking about the question. Was it true? Sometimes she did wish for help but surely the twins could see that for themselves and give her a hand without having to be asked? ‘I guess it’s a hangover from when Mum was sick and I looked after them. Dad was busy with the orchard so I kind of starting doing more and more around the house for everyone. It was always easier to do a job than argue with the twins about why they should do it.’
‘It must’ve been horrible for you all.’ His shoulder rubbed up against hers as they strolled through to the restaurant. ‘Then David and Morag’s accident happened. Talk about your family taking the hits.’
‘I miss them all so much.’
‘Yeah.’ The word rolled out over a long sigh. ‘Me, too.’
Kieran took her hand and wrapped his fingers around it, giving her a sense of togetherness that she’d not known before. It felt good. Neither spoke until they were seated with menus in front of them, each lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes.
Then Abby said, ‘It took a while to really grasp the fact that David and Morag were never coming home again.’ She swallowed hard. It still hurt. ‘Despite the funeral and having Olivia to raise, for a long time it had just felt like David had gone on another sojourn overseas and would one day turn up on the doorstep with a hug and a smile, saying, “How’s things, sis?”’
As kids, David had looked out for her at school, then at university. Even when he’d moved to London to specialise, he’d kept in touch regularly, making sure she was okay. The menu shook in her hand. No one did that for her any more.
Kieran reached over and laid his hand over hers for a moment. The gesture made her feel closer to him. They had something in common apart from the children. Some of the hurt dissipated.
When his gaze met hers she saw he felt the same. He said, ‘It’s the same for me. Morag and I never
had a lot of time together, with me being at boarding school.’
‘Didn’t Morag go away to school?’
‘No, she stayed with our father, going to local schools. They were living in the States by the time she reached college level. I didn’t see so much of Morag then. Her skiing took up so much of her time.’
‘I never knew she skied.’
He withdrew his hand, reached for his beer. ‘She was tipped to make the British Winter Olympics slalom team.’ He stared out the window, obviously seeing something far removed from Nelson. ‘There was an accident. In my flat. At a party my flatmates held. Someone spiked Morag’s drink. She didn’t usually have more than one, maybe two. But someone got to her. She tripped and fell down the flight of stairs leading to our front door.’
‘The injuries meant the end of her skiing?’
‘Yes. My fault.’
What? ‘Kieran, no. How can you blame yourself?’
But he did. The truth shadowed his eyes. ‘As my father said, I couldn’t take care of an egg in a carton, let alone look out for my sister.’
‘Wait a minute. You said your flatmates had a party. Were you there?’
‘No. I’d swapped shifts in ED so one of the guys could go to the party. He’d done most of the organising so it seemed fair, and I really didn’t mind. I didn’t even know he’d invited Morag.’
‘That would’ve changed your mind about attending?’
He swivelled around to look at her, his expression bleak. ‘I doubt it. I thought Morag was capable of looking after herself. How wrong I was.’
Recognition of his pain, of the reason behind his vehemence about being unable to care for Olivia and Seamus crunched in Abby’s mind. Finally she was beginning to understand. Finally in a roundabout way Kieran had let her know what drove him to be aloof from what remained of his family. How could a man like Kieran forgive himself? Especially when his father obviously laid the blame squarely at his feet.
‘Kieran, you can’t go on blaming yourself. There’s only one person to blame and that’s the horrible individual who spiked Morag’s drink.’